Father Ted has a confession to make. “I’m a long since lapsed Catholic,” he reveals, “and my religion is football.

“In fact, I am a devoted follower of Chelsea. You have to be – it’s the only way you can get your Equity card.”

Father Ted, alias Dermot Morgan, blunders roguishly and lovably through the smash-hit TV show with not a jot of ecclesiastical fortitude in his make-up.

He said: “I am a strange sort of cleric – and it’s real weird.

“When I watch myself on telly and find an old sinner like me in a dog collar looking back at me, it’s strange and eerie.

“Father Ted is such an opposite entity to what I am really like.

“I live my life in such an individualistic way – not in the least bit like their hierarchically structured way.

“The priesthood is listed in ranks – and I much prefer to be my own boss.

“I don’t have to answer to the Pope or anybody else and I’d be hard put to find somebody more opposite to what I am in reality.

“The priesthood is certainly not for me even though Father Ted has given me a good living.

“And I have to say that for a while I did really try to be a good Catholic.

“But I came to the conclusion that it was impossible and I’d much prefer to live my life by my own rules.

“Father Ted’s a strange guy, a nice guy but not really a great priest.

“But there’s no harm in him. And, unlike him, I feel my days in the Catholic ranks are well behind me.”

Dermot, who found fame in Ireland as a political satirist a long time before his crackpot philosophies were spouted over the font, is in the middle of shooting another series of Father Ted.

The storylines are top secret but the soccer-mad actor tells me: “I get to be a football manager … coaching the over-75s priests’ five-a-side team.

“I chew gum, I’m ruthless and I shout at them all the time from the touchline. It’s hilarious.

“And the Ruud Gullit in me gets a chance to come out.”

Whenever Dermot finds himself in England he joins the Chelsea faithful.

And he jokes: “Going to Stamford Bridge to watch Chelsea is my idea of heaven.

“And it’s the only way you can get your Equity card because you have to be a Chelsea supporter to get the contract.

“So they have my allegiance and I wear the Autoglass shirt as a mark of my respect and open admiration for the side.

“I’ll go crazy if I don’t manage to get a ticket for their FA Cup tie against Manchester United.

“I’m ringing all my contacts, I’ve got my ear to the ground and an eye on the black market and I’m pestering anybody I think will be able to get their hands on a ticket for me.”

Football is never far from Dermot’s thinking and he numbers Republic of Ireland coach Mick McCarthy among his firmest pals.

“He was the second coming in Irish football after JC – Jack Charlton that is – and he has had his work cut out because he’s going through a period of transition. It’s sad that he’s bereft of the real class players that Jack had in his era.

“The likes of Liam Brady, David O’Leary, Mark Lawrenson and Frank Stapleton in his prime were all superb players, as good as any in the world.

“But now, unfortunately, we’re struggling and Mick doesn’t have a big enough soccer population to trawl through to find that sort of talent that served us so well.

“But if Ireland can’t give me that high level of excitement – I certainly get it when I’m in London and can get down to the holy grail of Stamford Bridge.

“I must say that in every sense the team is brilliant. It has style, attacking flair and it is exciting and entertaining.

It’s just like watching an international team with a brilliant, brilliant and clever manager in Ruud Gullit.

“I have a picture of him and me together in my study here in Dublin – and it’s one of my proudest possessions. The U2 band organised and set it up.”

Dermot lives with his partner Fiona and their four-year-old son Ben.

His two other lads, Don, 19 and Robert, 17 from his first marriage are still close.

He says: “It’s sad but my first marriage ended years ago and now I live in great happiness with Fiona and little Ben.

“I may be a severely lapsed Catholic but that does not stop me trying my best to be a decent sort of a fellow.

“And I have no problem at all with the notion of being good to people.

“It’s great for me personally, it’s nourishing for your own soul when you can be like that.

“And my message is: ’Don’t be a [bollix]’ – there’s just no need for it.

“I may be an old agnostic, but I still think that’s a Christian way to behave.”

Amen to that – as Father Ted would say.