A Shot At Life

1. Three Travellers

Spring had arrived in Bevelle. The city was as busy as ever: priests and traders thronged the streets, gossiping and debating; young monks and nuns hurried to their lessons; warrior monks strode from one temple to another, preening under the respectful gaze of the citizenry. Apart from the sudden improvement in the weather, it was much the same as any other afternoon.

In a square near the city centre, two men met, just as they had planned. Each wore an elaborate, formal robe, although that would never have turned heads in Bevelle. Auron, the younger, was still getting used to his: he had obtained it just recently, finding himself able to choose his own attire for the first time after years spent wearing the various uniforms of the warrior monk corps.

Auron’s hair was gathered in its usual ponytail, neatly scraped back to keep it from getting in his way. His robe was a deep red, and he wore it over just one shoulder: that, he had heard, had been the custom of the warrior monks of ancient Zanarkand. It had seemed appropriate to adopt the same dress for his task. Secured at the waist with an elaborate belt, the robe went all the way to his ankles. The sleeve on the right side was tucked into a bulky gauntlet that covered his hand and forearm; his left arm was entirely bare. It had felt peculiar, to begin with, but he was beginning to get used to it.

Auron’s companion, Braska, also wore a red robe; it completely covered his arms and legs, dragging on the ground and totally obscuring his feet. It was seen as right that a priest should cover himself up, and although Braska had not taken an active role in temple service for a number of years, he still felt more comfortable when he wore clothing that kept his form obscured. His hair, too, was entirely hidden under a large ceremonial headdress; some might have thought it too much, but Braska was used to having his head covered. Not only was it common in his profession, but it was also the usual practice among men of his ethnicity to wear at least a turban of some kind. In his hand, he held a long staff, at least a foot taller than he was: it was the tool he needed for his new duties.

Two months earlier, Braska had entered the temple of Bahamut in Bevelle’s holy citadel and formally announced his intention to become a summoner. It was the culmination of a training schedule that had lasted the best part of a year; he had struggled, initially, to find someone willing to teach him, but he had eventually learnt the summoner’s arts, gaining new skills to complement the magical abilities he had already acquired years before. In the temple, he had prayed to the fayth, as all would-be summoners must; the fayth had seen fit to receive him, and so he had officially been admitted as a summoner, and deemed ready to begin his journey through the land of Spira, visiting additional temples and communing with more fayth until he was ready to travel to the holy city, Zanarkand.

Auron was to be Braska’s guardian on the journey. Due to past events, Braska had never had many friends in Bevelle; Auron was one of the handful of people who had ever made time for him, and Braska had never doubted that Auron would make an excellent guardian. The journey to Zanarkand would be long and arduous; that was why summoners needed guardians to accompany them, and Auron was more skilled than most, having spent many years training as a warrior monk, where he had risen through the ranks of the corps at an exceptional pace.

Braska’s original plan had been to finish his initiation as a summoner and then wait until later in the year, taking his few precious opportunities to spend time with his young daughter before beginning the journey. But events had taken a turn: Auron had recently run into some trouble of his own, and things would be much less unpleasant for him if they left Bevelle as soon as possible. What was more, Braska was unable to deny that he himself was desperate to make a start on the summoner’s pilgrimage. He had known for some time that this was his only path forward. The thought that he might complete the pilgrimage and do something good for the Spiran people was comforting to him; he was determined to set that process in motion as soon as possible. Every day that he delayed was a burden, and every step he took that brought him closer to his goal brought him some much-needed solace.

That was why the two of them had met on this spring afternoon: to make the final preparations before they departed. They were due to set off shortly before dawn the next morning, following the custom. Auron had thought everything was ready – he had busied himself in the last few days by triple-checking the plan, making sure the temples they were to visit were those that best suited Braska’s lineage – but Braska had called him here for a final meeting before their departure.

The sun really was unusually bright. Auron shielded his eyes with his bare hand and squinted in Braska’s direction. “You said you wanted to visit the jail, my lord?” he enquired.

The respectful form of address was something Braska was still getting used to; it was particularly strange coming from Auron, of all people, but he knew his friend valued tradition, and everyone was supposed to address summoners in that way. He nodded. “I’ve heard rumours. They say a man was taken in yesterday – he claims to be from Zanarkand. I thought it might be useful to visit, before we set off. We might even think about taking him with us.”

“You think he’s telling the truth?” said Auron, frowning. Not much was known about the city of Zanarkand; only summoners ever visited, and very few of them were able to make it that far in their pilgrimage. Zanarkand had suffered badly in a war against Bevelle a thousand years ago; ever since, the city had been quiet.

“I don’t know,” Braska admitted. “I just wonder – the timing is remarkable, isn’t it? Two days before we begin our journey, a man from Zanarkand appears in Bevelle.”

“Supposedly from Zanarkand,” Auron couldn’t help saying.

Braska nodded slowly. “Supposedly. But worth investigating, I think. Shall we?”

Guardians were supposed to obey their summoners; Auron inclined his head in assent, and the two of them turned to make their way towards the jail, falling into step beside each other. Auron found himself having to slow his own walking to match Braska’s pace. It wasn’t the case that Braska was physically unfit: Auron had succeeded in persuading him to undergo some training in combat and endurance over the last few months, knowing their journey would be arduous. But Braska had come to tire easily in recent years, and his level of fitness was nothing compared to his guardian’s: Auron had been involved in intense military exercises since he was very young.

They arrived at the jail, submitting themselves for inspection by the guard on duty, a warrior monk whom Auron vaguely recognised: probably one of the many members of the corps to whom he had recently been used to giving orders on the battlefield. The guard tensed at the sight of Braska – who had spent nearly eight years in Bevelle, and yet still elicited this reaction from devout Yevonites – and then he spoke. Braska was a summoner now, after all: it was important to show him some respect, even if that didn’t come easily.

“Lord Braska,” said the guard through gritted teeth. His gaze drifted towards Auron; their eyes met. Auron watched, trying to remain outwardly calm as a small but unmistakable grin formed on the guard’s lips.

“We’re here to visit one of the prisoners,” said Braska, who hadn’t noticed. “The man who claims to be from Zanarkand. In fact, as a summoner, I believe I have the privilege of being permitted to take him off your hands, don’t I?”

“That’s right,” the guard confirmed. “Our men down in the cells can let him out, if you really think you want to take him. Have fun down there.”

Auron responded to the remark with a scowl, and followed Braska down the stairs, whereupon another guard greeted them with a surprisingly polite bow of prayer, a gesture typical of the Yevonite faith. Neither of them returned it; Braska had given up on such traditions years ago, and Auron had recently seen fit to do the same.

He hung back as Braska approached the prisoner; he was starting to feel uncomfortable. Being in the depths of the jail was bringing back unpleasant memories, and the sound of water flowing through the channels dug into the floor made him particularly tense. He stood at a careful distance, watching as Braska walked forward.

The man’s name was Jecht, Braska had heard. That was all that had made it out of the jail and into the formidable Bevelle gossip machine. He had heard the name spoken by traders at the morning market, often accompanied by contemptuous laughter: nobody believed the man could really be from Zanarkand. But when he heard such reactions, Braska had wondered whether the man being discussed was a kindred spirit. He knew well what it was like to be cast aside and spoken about so derisively.

“Who’re you?” Jecht groaned as Braska approached. He had been in the cell for a full day, and by this point was thoroughly fed up with the interactions he had had so far. The prison guards had taken issue with his repeated insistence that he knew nothing about this place, they had asked him about things that made no sense to him, and worst of all, they had declared they didn’t have a clue who Jecht was. Everyone in Zanarkand knew his name; the idea that some people might not was one he found terribly insulting.

“You are the one they call Jecht,” said Braska carefully, “the man from Zanarkand, are you not?”

“What of it?” Jecht replied.

Auron had continued to hang back, but he couldn’t help hurrying towards the cell when he heard Jecht’s words. He was used to people being disrespectful towards Braska, but now that Braska was a summoner, such open contempt was a step too far. “Watch your tongue, knave,” he snapped, shooting Jecht his most disdainful look.

Braska gave Auron a warning glance; he was used to much worse, and it wouldn’t do for Auron to lose his temper before they even got out of the jail – not in front of the other warrior monks. “My apologies,” he said to Jecht. “I am Braska, a summoner. I’ve come to take you from this place.”

Auron cringed internally at his words: Braska had already decided that Jecht would accompany them, it appeared. It was typical of him to make such decisions on the spot. It seemed Braska was determined to believe that Jecht really was from Zanarkand, the implausibility of that notion and the man’s odious attitude notwithstanding. As Auron watched the stranger while he scrambled to his feet and continued talking to Braska, there was nothing he saw that failed to displease him. Jecht’s unkempt hair and beard; his improper dress; the hideous scars that crisscrossed his skin, as if he had never heard of a white mage; the huge, gaudy tattoo covering his chest. Worst of all, the man stank of ale. He would be a detriment to their pilgrimage: Auron was certain of it. It was the last thing they needed, when they were already so low in everyone’s estimation.

“But I must protest,” he said, when it seemed that Jecht was willing to accompany them. “This drunkard, a guardian?” He hoped Braska would see sense. Jecht couldn’t possibly be from Zanarkand, and Auron was already sure of it: quite apart from the improbability of anyone coming from the city at all, it was the holiest place in Spira, and it certainly couldn’t harbour anyone as unruly as this man.

Jecht’s angry reply fell on deaf ears; Braska had turned to face Auron again. “What does it matter?” he said. “No-one truly believes that I, a fallen summoner wed to an Al Bhed, could possibly defeat Sin. This is what they say. No-one expects us to succeed.”

“Braska, sir –” Auron began. That was exactly his point, he thought.

“Let’s show them they’re wrong,” Braska insisted. “A fallen summoner, a man from Zanarkand, and a warrior monk doomed to obscurity for refusing the hand of the priest’s daughter” – Auron grimaced in discomfort – “what delightful irony it would be if we defeated Sin.”

Thrown off by the reference to his own troubles, as euphemistic as it had been, Auron found himself unable to formulate a response. Instead, Jecht spoke again: now that his liberation seemed imminent, he was keener than ever to leave the cell. “Stop gabbin’ and get me out of here!” he demanded.

“Certainly,” said Braska; he turned towards the closer of the two guards standing nearby. “I think the sphere has a clear record of his consent. Might you be able to release him?”

The man moved forward to unlock Jecht’s cell, with a smirk in Auron’s direction; Jecht emerged without a second glance at those who had come to free him. “Ah, free at last,” he said contentedly, massaging his shoulders. Auron felt even more uncomfortable: up close, Jecht looked and smelt even worse.

“Now, Jecht,” said Braska. “I am in your hands until we reach Zanarkand.”

“Right, right,” said Jecht dismissively; he wasn’t bothered about the long journey he had apparently been recruited for. All that interested him was getting home as soon as possible. “So,” he added, “what’s a summer-ner, anyway?”

“A summoner,” said Auron sharply, and regretted it as soon as he’d said it. Jecht was clearly playing stupid to wind them both up; another joke at Auron’s expense, of the kind he’d seen a good few times recently. There was no way any grown man in Spira could be unaware of the role of a summoner.

“I send the deceased, and I seek to defeat Sin,” Braska explained, as they headed up the stairs.

“Sin, huh?” said Jecht.

Braska inclined his head. “It’s the manifestation of all our wrongdoings. A huge monster that terrorises Spira, causing death and destruction – if I can make it to Zanarkand, I may be able to defeat it.”

His voice wobbled a little as he spoke the last few words; Jecht chose to ignore it. “Sounds like a tough gig,” he said lightly. Nothing in what Braska had said made sense to him, but there was one thing he was sure of: he would not be getting emotionally involved. That wasn’t his style.

“You could say that,” Braska murmured. “But it is the path I have chosen.”

They had reached the vestibule at the top of the stairs; the guard who had bowed to them earlier had followed them up, and now held out half a small sphere. This was the record of their conversation below – the other half of the sphere now held an identical recording, which would be filed in the jail’s archive. “Your copy of the sphere, sir,” she said to Braska.

Auron took it; Braska watched as she walked off. Like nearly every woman of a certain age, she reminded him of his late wife. “I should go,” he said suddenly. “They’ve let me have Yuna tonight.” As a concession to his beginning the pilgrimage, the convent where his daughter now resided had let her out to visit him; it was to be their last night together before the pilgrimage began, and he owed her his company.

“Go ahead, sir,” said Auron. “I’ll take care of the paperwork.”

Braska nodded, relieved. “Would you explain to Jecht, as well, what all this is about?” he asked. “I don’t think he quite understood just now. And stop by the armoury tonight – I told them to expect you.”

“Of course,” said Auron. “We’ll need to get him a sword anyway. I’ll see you in the morning – you spend the time with your daughter.”

Braska hurried away; Auron turned his attention to the guard on duty, the same one who had greeted them when they entered the jail earlier. He returned Auron’s gaze smugly, no longer concerned about being polite now that the summoner had departed.

“You’re taking him, then,” he said, looking between Auron and Jecht with amusement.

“Looks like it,” said Auron.

“Some pilgrimage that’ll be,” the guard said. He had already located the form that Auron and Jecht were required to sign, and laid it on the table between them. “Now, if you could sign here, Auron – oh, excuse me, Sir Auron –”

Suddenly, Auron found that he had had enough of his insolence. “There’s no need for that,” he snarled, trying to ignore Jecht’s expression of mild curiosity. “Will you just stop all this fooling around –”

“Not trying to give me orders, are you?” said the guard. “What, did you forget you don’t have the authority anymore?”

Auron just about managed not to punch him right in the face. “Just get on with it,” he muttered instead.

It took some time to sort everything out: there was a bail to pay, and Auron was sure Jecht would have nothing resembling money, so he found his own reserve of gil substantially depleted as a result. He signed his name to the paper, so irritated that he nearly scored through it with the pen. Jecht signed too, with the quick scribble he was used to providing as an autograph. “Look after that,” he told the guard after he handed it over. “Gonna be worth tons.”

Once they were finally outside, he stretched out contentedly, enjoying his freedom. “Man, I’m hungry,” he remarked. “Is there somewhere we can get dinner around here?”

Auron had become well acquainted with a number of street food traders recently; in the past, he’d taken his meals in the barracks with the other warrior monks, but he’d been avoiding them of late, and tended to eat alone in his quarters these days. He led the way to a stall he imagined would suit Jecht: it sold big, heavy, meaty snacks. Jecht placed his order, slipping in a request for a few bottles of beer when Auron seemed not to be paying attention, and sat down on a nearby bench, contentedly listening to the early evening birdsong while Auron paid for their meals and then struggled over with the food and drink.

They both ate in silence for a while; Auron spared a few sidelong glances at Jecht, watching him gulp everything down at a speed he had previously thought impossible. He didn’t know whether to be impressed or horrified.

Jecht wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and then said, “So, why are you guys going to Zanarkand anyway?”

“Lord Braska told you earlier,” said Auron, with what he considered unwarranted patience. “He’s a summoner.”

“Uh huh,” Jecht replied. After a few seconds, he realised no further explanation was forthcoming. “And,” he said, “that means …”

“Don’t be stupid,” said Auron bluntly. “I refuse to believe that anyone could be unaware of the duties of a summoner. Unless you’re that drunk –”

Jecht scoffed. “Hardly. Look, I don’t know how I’m supposed to convince you that none of this stuff means anything to me, but if you keep refusin’ to explain it, we ain’t gonna get nowhere. That fancy guy said he was in my hands, right? So I guess I’m supposed to be some kinda tour guide for you guys?”

“His name is Lord Braska,” Auron reminded him through gritted teeth. “And you’re his guardian – we both are.” He would have found the absurdity of the situation almost comical if it wasn’t so disheartening to think that the two of them now shared the same duty.

“Right, and what does that mean?” said Jecht.

“Everyone knows what the pilgrimage involves,” Auron protested. “Even the Al Bhed –”

“The what now?”

Auron sighed. “Fine. I’ll humour you. What am I supposed to be pretending you don’t know?”

“Everything,” said Jecht, beaming. “Go right back to the start. Where are we?”

“Bevelle,” said Auron. “Supposedly, the holiest populated city in Spira – and definitely the largest. Most summoners start out here, then –” He broke off. “No, this is ridiculous. There’s no way you don’t know any of this. Unless Sin’s toxin – but Braska said you spent last night in the cells, it would have worn off by now. You’re trying to humiliate me,” he concluded.

“No, no, I’m not!” said Jecht. “I just wanna find out what I signed myself up for, you know? Tell me about it – I won’t forget this time, I promise. So Braska’s a summoner, right, and he wants to go to Zanarkand. Awesome – nowhere better. And we’re his guardians. Wait, what’s your name?”

“Auron,” Auron muttered.

“Auron,” Jecht repeated, drawing the first syllable out at great length. “Cool. And you know who I am.”

“Yes,” said Auron, “unfortunately.” He stood up. “Come on. We have to get you a weapon before we set off tomorrow.”

“A weapon, huh?” said Jecht as they began to make their way to the armoury. “So what, we gotta fight people?”

Auron gave him such a withering look that he fell silent; they continued without exchanging much more conversation. There were a few places where one could obtain weapons in Bevelle – including, of course, the warrior monks’ own private stores – but Auron had been laughed at enough times over the course of the day that he didn’t fancy experiencing it on yet another occasion. Braska had mentioned an armoury earlier, and it was obvious which of them he had meant, now that there was only one where Auron knew the proprietor would still be civil to him.

Coultan, the armourer, gave a polite bow when the two men walked in; it went unacknowledged by both. Unfazed, he addressed Auron with a smile. “I was expecting you, Auron,” he said. “Sir Auron, I should say. You’re setting off tomorrow, aren’t you?”

“That’s right,” said Auron.

“And who is this,” said Coultan, looking at Jecht; “this, er, rather striking fellow?” He passed his eyes over Jecht’s tattooed chest with great interest.

“Lord Braska has seen fit to take a second guardian,” said Auron, resisting the urge to add that Braska had evidently been suffering from a severe lapse in judgement at the time. “This is Sir Jecht.”

“Sir, huh?” said Jecht, grinning. “Nice.”

“It’s only because you’re Lord Braska’s guardian now,” Auron told him. “That’s the convention.” He couldn’t deny it had felt wrong to say, though; he felt fairly certain that he would never find himself using the phrase Sir Jecht again.

“Cool,” said Jecht. “I mean, it’s about time someone recognised how great I am. They threw me in jail when I got here,” he added for Coultan’s benefit. “Unbelievable, right? The great Jecht in jail? If they found out about this back home in Zan—”

“Jecht isn’t from around here,” Auron interrupted. He was determined not to get Coultan caught up in what he perceived as Jecht’s lies: the armourer was one of his increasingly few allies. If Jecht really wanted to keep insisting he was from Zanarkand, Auron hoped that as few people as possible would find out about it. “We won’t keep you,” he added, eager to change the topic. “Just need to get Jecht a sword. We could do with your expertise in finding him the right sort of weapon.”

“Oh, you’re the expert, Sir Auron,” said Coultan, while Auron inclined his head graciously. “But I’ll do my best to help, of course.” He stepped out from behind the counter, approached Jecht, and said, “May I?”

Jecht shrugged, having no idea what he was requesting, and said, “Sure.”

Coultan reached out towards Jecht’s mostly bare right arm, took hold, and gave his muscles a careful squeeze. “Oh, yes,” he said enthusiastically. “Very good indeed. And this, of course –” He gestured towards Jecht’s left arm, which was clothed entirely in plate armour. “You’re experienced in combat, I take it, Sir Jecht? Forgive the assumption, but you have the body of a fighting man; not to mention your attire. You’re in wonderful shape, I must say.”

“Nah, it’s all from blitz,” said Jecht. “Gets kinda serious when you play pro, you know.” He wondered briefly whether the others would claim not to know what he was talking about: nobody in Bevelle seemed to have recognised him, after all. But both seemed to understand the reference to blitzball. It wasn’t that surprising, Jecht reflected: even someone like Auron ought to be familiar with the best sport ever invented.

“And the scars?” said Auron. He’d been disgusted by the state of Jecht’s flesh ever since he first set eyes on it – now that Jecht’s appearance was coming under scrutiny, he could no longer keep himself from passing comment.

Jecht snorted. “Same thing. Been with the Abes fifteen years now – some of those guys play dirty.”

Blitzball injuries were nothing that a white mage wouldn’t be able to heal, Auron thought. There was certainly no need to leave them to scar. Unless Jecht had refused intervention deliberately – although that would seem extreme, even by the standards of a man who appeared to be a pathological liar.

“Jealous?” said Jecht with a smirk.

“Of your scars?” said Auron, confused. “Why should I be?”

“Well, kinda sexy, ain’t they?”

“Absolutely not,” said Auron. “They’re disgraceful.” No Yevonite would be so careless as to let themselves get injured as much as that without making sure there was a healer on hand, or at least a potion supply. According to the religious teachings that Auron had been accustomed to following all his life, such disfigurement was something to be ashamed of. Of course, there were certain parts of the teachings that he had always disobeyed – but that was unavoidable. Scars, on the other hand, were signs of recklessness and hubris, two qualities that he could already tell Jecht was likely to have in abundance.

Wielding a tape measure, Coultan approached Jecht again. “What position do you play?” he asked.

“Ain’t it obvious?” said Jecht. “I’m a forward. Star of the show.”

“Oh, yes, of course,” said Coultan, while Auron frowned. “You must be fast, then. That works perfectly: Sir Auron’s more about power and precision, so you can supply the speed.” He stepped away briefly to retrieve one of the swords from a nearby rack, and handed it to Jecht. “Have a go.”

“At what?” Jecht asked.

“Try it for size.”

Jecht held the hilt of the sword with both hands, then with just one, and swung it about experimentally. Auron braced himself for disaster, but Jecht managed not to knock anything off the shelves. Coultan had been right, he thought: Jecht was nimble, if unpractised.

“Nice,” said Jecht. “Feels good.” He turned to Auron with a grin; Auron nodded back, unsmiling, as he appraised the weapon from a distance. It wasn’t much to speak of: a fairly standard sword, the blade tinted red and cast in an unusual shape that left empty space in the middle, no doubt to follow the latest fashion trends in weaponry, which he had never thought worth keeping up with. It would make it lighter to carry, Auron supposed, which would be suited to Jecht as an unskilled swordsman. Auron’s own weapon, sheathed on his back, was at least twice the length, and probably several times as heavy. It had been given to him a few years back, the result of some promotion or another; he had a vague suspicion that he would be required to return it to the corps when he left Bevelle, and had already planned to conveniently forget to do so.

He negotiated a price for Jecht’s sword, unashamedly taking advantage of Coultan’s respect for him to score a substantial discount. Coultan was about to take the money, but then paused. “I almost forgot,” he said. “Lord Braska stopped in here earlier; he said he wanted to reserve an armguard for you.” His gaze drifted towards Auron’s exposed left forearm.

Auron grimaced. “I don’t have the gil to spare at the moment. It’s been a rather expensive day.” It would be good to have some kind of protection, without a doubt – it would help him defend Braska better – but that would have to wait until he had recuperated some of his savings dispatching fiends on the road.

“Ah, no,” said Coultan. “You misunderstand me. He paid for it himself – a gift, he said.” Before Auron could protest, he lifted the armguard from under the counter, and fastened it straight onto Auron’s arm.

He looked down at it. It fitted perfectly, and he could tell that there was some kind of magical protection in there: he could feel it tingling pleasantly against his skin. It was an unexpectedly thoughtful gift from Braska, who cared deeply for others but tended to prioritise the spiritual over the material in expressing that care, and who was often too wrapped up in his own worries to express it at all.

Still holding onto Auron’s arm, Coultan tugged it upwards so they could both admire the armguard more closely. “No expense spared,” he said proudly.

Auron somehow managed to subtly remove his arm from Coultan’s grip, and nodded. “Yes. Lord Braska’s very kind. This was … unexpected.”

“Well,” Coultan remarked, “this is the most important journey you’ll ever make, isn’t it?” He took Auron’s money and handed over his change in return, suddenly sombre. “You don’t need me to tell you to be careful out there – but I hope it goes well for you all.”

“Thank you,” said Auron.

“Don’t forget about me when you get back,” said Coultan. “I’ll be here; drop in any time. And Sir Jecht’s welcome too – I’d love to get to know him better –”

“We should be going,” Auron said quickly. “Thank you for your assistance.” He headed off to locate Jecht, who had taken to inspecting a shelf that held restorative items, and let him know it was time to leave.

“Should we get some of these?” Jecht asked. He tapped a finger against a bottle of ether; it made a satisfyingly reverberant sound. “Dunno what this does, but it looks useful, you know?”

“We have enough of those for now,” said Auron. “Come on.” He was keen to get back to his quarters, and to get a chance to think through the plans for the pilgrimage one more time: there was some recalculation to be done now that Jecht had joined them. He would have to ensure they had enough rations for three, and determine how much the extra cost for bed and board was likely to be when such facilities were available. There was a lot to consider.

Jecht followed Auron out of the shop, nodding goodbye to Coultan, whom he had found surprisingly effeminate for a weapons dealer. The sun had begun to set while they were in the armoury; it was the same insipid sort of sunset Bevelle usually experienced, where the clouds just took on a slight tinge of pink for a few minutes before the sky darkened without ceremony.

“So, where to next?” Jecht enquired.

“I’m going back to the barracks,” said Auron. “There are more preparations I need to make before we set off tomorrow, and we’ll be leaving before dawn – we all need to get an early night –” He stopped, suddenly making a horrified realisation. “You – you don’t have anywhere to spend the night, do you?”

“Nope,” said Jecht, with a grin.

Auron briefly wondered whether he could convince the prison guards to take Jecht back until the morning, and then sighed. “Right, well, follow me,” he said, defeated.

They made the short walk to the barracks and headed towards Auron’s quarters. Fortunately for him, the corps was engaged in evening prayer, so there were no unpleasant encounters on the way. Auron still prayed in private – his recent ordeal had made his relationship with faith more complex, but he did still follow the teachings, in essence. Braska’s case was similar, if more extreme: he had ceased to be outwardly religious some seven or eight years ago, after the way he had been treated by the priests, but he still strongly believed in the power of the summoner’s pilgrimage, the most integral part of the Yevonite doctrine.

When Auron arrived at his door, he discovered a couple of items in the small cavity that held his post: an official-looking letter, and a video sphere wrapped in paper. He examined the sphere first, as it looked more appealing. The paper bore a message in his friend Wen Kinoc’s complex, looped handwriting. A sphere of our meeting earlier, it read. For you to remember me by on the road.

Auron shoved the sphere into his robe with a mixture of exasperation and fondness: it was just like Kinoc to show undue sentiment.

“Remember me by on the road?” said Jecht with a smirk. “Who’s that from, some girl you stood up?”

“What?” said Auron sharply; Jecht had hardly expected him to react positively to the jab, but his angry expression seemed a disproportionate response. He stood there frowning for a while, and then said tensely, “No, of course not. It’s from Wen Kinoc. A friend.”

“OK, dude, calm down,” Jecht replied.

Auron shook his head, searching for an excuse for his discomfort, and then said truthfully, “I’m surprised you can read.”

Jecht let out an incredulous laugh. “Seriously? What, you think I’m some kind of bum or somethin’?”

“Some kind of –” Auron shook his head again, thinking it best not to ask. He didn’t know why Jecht seemed so offended: illiteracy was fairly common among Yevonites. Those of more noble birth, such as Kinoc and Braska, were normally proficient readers; Auron, who lacked any especially privileged background, had received basic instruction as a boy, but he had never had many chances to hone his still fairly undeveloped skills. Jecht’s own interpretation of the note had seemed unusually effortless for someone that Auron assumed to be of a background no higher in class than his own. He resolved not to waste any more time asking him about it, and turned his attention to the other letter, trying unsuccessfully to angle it so Jecht couldn’t get a look.

“Eviction notice?” Jecht said, raising an eyebrow.

Auron shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. I’m leaving anyway.”

“You in trouble with someone?”

“It’s just because I resigned from the corps,” said Auron evasively, and he tore the paper into little pieces in a very poor attempt to appear nonchalant.

Jecht watched his handiwork sceptically, noting how his brow furrowed in determination, but didn’t press him further. When they entered the room, though, he couldn’t suppress a chuckle at the austerity of the surroundings. He’d only known Auron a few hours, and yet his living quarters were almost exactly as Jecht would have imagined them.

“What?” Auron snapped.

“You really ain’t got much stuff,” said Jecht.

“I sold what I had,” said Auron. “Won’t be needing it on the pilgrimage.”

“So you ain’t plannin’ to come back?”

“Of course I am,” said Auron. “But things will be different then. Until then, I need to give up everything I have. A guardian must dedicate their entire life to protecting the summoner – that goes for you too. We have to be prepared to die for him, if necessary. It’s what they call the Code of the Guardian.” He couldn’t deny that he was saying such things in an attempt to shock Jecht, and to convince him of the strength of his own loyalty – anything to make the other man realise how serious this all was. He didn’t expect to have to give his own life, of course, but if Jecht was struck down by fiends, it was a price they would have to pay.

“Yeah, well, rather you than me,” said Jecht dismissively.

It was as Auron had suspected – Jecht could hardly be an effective guardian if he took that kind of attitude. When it came to it, Auron knew that Jecht would betray and abandon them over protecting the summoner. Braska had been naïve to think bringing a second guardian would be of any use.

He changed the subject. “You take the futon. I can sleep on the mat.”

He’d expected Jecht to complain about that, too, correctly assuming that he was used to sleeping in a proper bed. There wasn’t much point arguing from Jecht’s perspective, though; he could tell that the futon was the best he was going to get under the circumstances.

Auron began to get ready for bed. He would go through the plans for the journey in his mind once he was already lying down, he had decided: there would surely be less chance of interruption from Jecht if he thought Auron was sleeping. He took off his robe, unbuckled his cuirass, and shook his long, dark hair out of its ponytail, putting it into a loose bun to avoid its getting too tangled overnight. Then, as he turned his attention to his trousers, he noticed that Jecht had made no start on his own preparations, but appeared to be paying great attention to Auron’s bare chest.

“What?” he hissed.

Reluctantly, Jecht tore his eyes away from Auron’s chest and looked at his face instead. “You’re ripped,” he said.

Auron frowned. “Well … so are you,” he countered lamely.

“Yeah, but everyone knows that,” said Jecht, without a hint of modesty. “Didn’t expect it from you.”

“I’m a warrior monk,” said Auron. “Was, I mean. There’s a strict training regime.”

“Gotcha,” said Jecht. “But why d’you keep all those muscles hidden away, huh? You’d have all the ladies after you if they knew –”

“Goodnight, Jecht,” Auron interrupted. Abandoning the thought of undressing any further, he lay down on the mat and turned to face the wall.

2. The Journey Begins

Auron awoke with an aching back – it had been a while since he had slept on the mat. But despite having had the comparative luxury of the futon, Jecht was the one who felt worse: lacking the opportunity for a quick morning drink, he had a foul headache, and his memories of the previous evening’s events didn’t seem especially coherent.

“Aw, man,” he said, rubbing his forehead. “Where am I?”

Auron reached for his cuirass before turning to him and answering – he didn’t want Jecht making remarks about his chest again. “Bevelle,” he said, while strapping on the armour. “In my room, which I’m about to be evicted from. Ring any bells?”

“What?” said Jecht blearily.

“I explained this all to you last night,” said Auron. “You said you wouldn’t forget. You promised.”

“Did I?”

“Great,” Auron muttered. “So you’ve not only forgotten, but you’ve even forgotten you said you wouldn’t. Fantastic.”

Jecht groaned. “Run it by me again. What’s going on? And where can I get a drink in this place?”

Ignoring the second question, Auron gave him a curt summary of the situation, reiterating that they intended to travel across Spira so that Braska could defeat Sin. It was clear that Jecht had no recollection of much of what had happened the previous day, but Auron’s terse explanation seemed nonetheless to be jogging his memory. By the time Auron got to the end of the story, Jecht was even starting to grin a little despite his compromised physical state. He’d begun to figure Auron out: his fellow guardian was stubborn, naïve, and entirely too serious for his own good. Jecht was going to have plenty of fun winding him up over the course of the journey, he decided.

They headed out for breakfast; it was still dark. Auron gave a final glance towards the door to his quarters as he walked away. In the past, he might have felt some sentimental attachment to the barracks; he’d lived there since he was a child, after all, starting off in the boys’ dormitories and transitioning to gradually lower-occupancy rooms as he ascended through the ranks. With the way things had gone, though, he was glad to see the back of the place.

They stopped off for a quick breakfast, paid for with the dregs of Auron’s gil, and then Auron led the way to where he had agreed to meet Braska, at the junction of two of the city’s bridges. The more major of the two led to a bigger one still, the Highbridge, which formed the southward route out of Bevelle: they would need to head that way in order to make for Macalania, where Braska would be required to commune with the fayth once again. After that, the remaining temples would be still further away. It was to be a long trip; Auron told Jecht as much, while Jecht was munching on the sweet pastry he had selected for breakfast. He seemed underwhelmed by the information.

“We wait here,” Auron announced, once they reached the appointed place. Jecht immediately sat down on the ground, turning away so Auron wouldn’t see his grimace; his headache was worsening. It had been a very long time since he had gone without a drink in the morning. Even in the jail the day before, he had slipped the guards a small bribe in exchange for some bottles of beer, finding them surprisingly corruptible.

Auron tried to put Jecht out of his mind, but he was fidgeting too much to ignore. Barely a minute after he had sat down, he sprang up again, scowling.

“How long is this gonna take?” he complained.

Auron returned the scowl in kind. “It’s Lord Braska’s last morning with his daughter. I’d expect him to be taking some time.”

“Man,” said Jecht, “I can’t take this. I need a drink – I’m gettin’ the shakes, look.” He thrust a trembling hand towards Auron’s face; Auron shoved it away, repulsed.

“I’m not buying you alcohol,” he said.

Jecht shrugged. “I got cash somewhere – wait –” He fiddled around in his clothing for a while, and eventually fished out a not insubstantial amount of gil, dropping a number of coins on the ground as he did so, and bending haphazardly to pick them up. Auron watched with mounting suspicion.

“Hold on,” he said slowly. “I bought you that sword last night – you mean you had money all along? You could have paid for that yourself?”

Despite his condition, Jecht smirked. “Should’ve asked at the time, shouldn’t you?”

Auron let out a long sigh of frustration. Less than a day in Jecht’s company, and he was already certain that nobody else had ever infuriated him quite as much. What he really needed, he decided, was a moment’s peace: a final chance to breathe freely before he had to spend several weeks with the man.

“There won’t be many shops that sell it at this hour,” he said through gritted teeth, “but you might have some luck with the Al Bhed places. They’re mostly on the north side of the city. Be back here as soon as you can.”

“Yeah, sure thing,” said Jecht, and he hurried off, leaving Auron to kick at the ground moodily.

Auron was right: Jecht soon found a shop that bore a poster in the window proudly proclaiming that it sold alcohol twenty-four hours a day, and was in fact run by an Al Bhed family, not that he knew yet how to tell them apart from Yevonites. Soon enough, he was a few gil down and felt much better, having knocked back some of the local ale and prudently grabbed some more for the road.

He strolled through the city, doing a bit of sightseeing: it was strange when the sun hadn’t properly risen yet, but there were enough lights on for him to get a good view of the unfamiliar buildings. After a while, he realised it was probably a good idea to make his way back to Auron; by this point, though, he had wandered far enough from his original route to be fairly unsure about how he might do so. He walked in a direction that seemed reasonable, but in the end it was Braska, not Auron, that he came across.

Braska’s protracted goodbye to his daughter was taking place outside the convent where Yuna was now living. It had been agreed that in a few years she would enter Yevon’s service, not as a nun – her mixed heritage had barred her from that pathway – but she was to train as a healer. She would be respected, at least, as the daughter of a summoner – still more so if the pilgrimage went as Braska intended.

“Hey, Braska!” Jecht crowed, striding forward. “Fancy seeing ya – oh, hi there!”

He looked down at Yuna. On this occasion, she was more timid than usual: she was normally quite a friendly child, and had shown remarkable strength in the build-up to her father’s departure, although when it came to the point of saying goodbye she had become a bit more upset. She looked up at Jecht, slightly tearful, and said nothing.

“Oh, Jecht,” said Braska, frowning; he too looked sombre. “I thought you’d be waiting with Auron.”

“Had to go grab a drink,” Jecht explained. “Always need a drop in the morning, you know. Is this your kid? She’s cute! What’s your name, sweetie?”

Yuna looked at Braska, and he attempted to give her an encouraging smile. “Yuna,” she mumbled.

“Nice to meet you, Yuna!” said Jecht. “Don’t need to introduce myself, I’m sure you know who I am.”

“This is Sir Jecht,” Braska supplied, caressing Yuna’s hair to comfort her. “He’s my new guardian.”

“That’s right,” said Jecht. “Gonna keep your daddy nice and safe.”

Yuna bowed neatly. “May Yevon be with you, Sir Jecht.” Then she frowned. “What’s that?”

She was pointing at Jecht’s tattoo. “That’s my team’s logo,” he explained. “I’m a blitzer. You guys have blitzball here, right?”

“We do,” said Yuna, less shyly. “Not many people play it in Bevelle; Dad says they’re too –” She screwed up her face in concentration, trying to recall the word she had heard her father use. “Pious –”

“Now, Yuna,” Braska admonished her gently. “Blitzball never really caught on here,” he explained. “But it’s very popular in the other regions of Spira.”

“Wow, am I glad to hear that,” said Jecht. “I was beginnin’ to think you guys didn’t know what fun was.” He looked back at Yuna. “You wanna see some of my special moves?”

Yuna looked at Braska, unsure again. The distraction would be good for her, he decided. “Do you want to go and fetch a ball for Sir Jecht, sweetheart?” he murmured.

She hesitated, then nodded, and trotted inside. Braska wondered whether he might be able to encourage Jecht to allow them a moment to themselves once he had demonstrated his moves, although Jecht had already launched into an enthusiastic spiel about his profession.

“Man, I bet you’re excited to be seeing the Jecht Shot up close,” he said. “It’s only the best blitz tech ever. Got me my place in the Abes, back when I was still a kid.”

Too preoccupied to pay much attention, Braska merely hummed in response. “I don’t really keep up with it myself,” he admitted eventually.

Jecht made a noise of disdain, but then smiled as Yuna emerged from the convent, clutching a ball in both hands as if it were a sacred object. “Awesome,” he said, grabbing it from her. “OK, you guys ready? Be prepared to have your minds blown.”

He tossed the ball from one hand to the other; it was hardly championship standard, probably not even approved for local tournament use, but there wasn’t a ball Jecht couldn’t turn his hand to. He looped it into the air and launched himself after it, connecting first with his head, then with a fist, and then performing a full somersault with such ease that Braska, distracted though he was, found himself gasping with amazement. As strange as Jecht might be, Braska reflected, he was clearly an expert blitzball player. Jecht launched a final kick towards the ball, sending it spinning into the air at high speed, and then landed on both feet with a smirk.

“That was remarkable,” said Braska sincerely.

“The sublimely magnificent Jecht Shot, Mark Three,” Jecht declaimed.

“Can you do it again?” Yuna pleaded.

“Sure,” said Jecht. “Just for you, kiddo. But after this time, I’ll start chargin’.”

He scooped the ball up from where it had landed, and performed the move a second time – it was no less spectacular. Braska looked down at Yuna. She seemed mesmerised by the ball: her earlier sadness appeared to be somewhat alleviated. This might be the time to say his final goodbye, he decided, if he could get rid of Jecht for a moment.

“We’ll be setting off soon, Jecht,” he said. “Why don’t you go and let Auron know?”

Jecht scratched the back of his head. “Uh, I was meant to be goin’ back to Auron in the first place, but I kinda got lost. That’s why I ended up here.”

“He shouldn’t be far away,” said Braska, gesturing. “We said we’d meet at the other end of this bridge.”

“Oh, cool,” said Jecht. “Sure, see you when you’re done. See ya around, Yuna!” He gave her a little wave, and she returned the gesture, wide-eyed.

“He’ll be a good guardian,” she said decisively, once Jecht was almost out of sight.

“Yes, I hope so,” said Braska. “Now, Yuna – I really do need to go.”

She buried her face in his robe, suddenly upset again, and he patted her head and murmured, “I know, darling.”

Jecht sauntered along the bridge until he came upon Auron; Auron’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “You’re late,” he said peevishly, “and why did you come from that direction? You weren’t disturbing Lord Braska, were you?”

“Relax, he was happy to see me,” Jecht replied.

Auron opened his mouth to argue, caught a whiff of the strong scent of beer on Jecht’s breath, and stepped back. “How much did you have? You’re drunk, aren’t you?”

“So what if I am?”

“There’s no point reasoning with you,” Auron muttered. “Absolutely none.” He turned away so he wouldn’t have to look at Jecht: the sight of him was too enraging.

Braska appeared not long afterwards, gave Auron an unconvincing smile, and said, a little hoarsely, “Well. That’s all our business in Bevelle taken care of, I suppose. Shall we go?”

“You’re all right?” said Auron.

Braska's mouth tightened; he closed his eyes, took a sharp breath, and then opened them again. “We should get started,” he said, not acknowledging it. “Not long until daybreak – we said we’d be out of the city before the sun finished rising.”

“If you’re sure you’re ready, sir,” said Auron.

“Hey, quit the love-in,” Jecht rasped. “Are we gonna get goin’ or what? I’m fed up with standin’ around. This place is boring. I wanna see some action! Get a chance to use this!” He waved his sword around a little; Auron stepped back, grimacing.

“Indeed, indeed,” said Braska, mustering another weak smile. “We’ll make for the Highbridge. Lead the way, Jecht: it’s the main road out of the city, you can’t miss it.”

As Jecht strode forward, Auron fell into step beside Braska. “I should thank you, sir,” he said, raising his left arm to indicate the new armguard. “You’re very kind.”

“Hm?” said Braska. “Oh – not at all. Better for all our protection.” He proffered a small device he had been carrying. “Would you put this with the rest of our belongings?”

“What’s that?” said Jecht, who had turned around to observe them. “Didn’t think you guys had, like, digital stuff here.”

“Digital?” said Braska blankly. “You mean machines? Machina?” The first term was the official one, and preferred among the Al Bhed, but the second, somewhat derogatory, was more widely used and understood by Yevonites. “Yevon outlaws a lot of them,” he explained. “Except those that can be used in service of the teachings – I suppose they consider this an example. It records moving images onto spheres, to keep records.”

“Oh, like a camera?” said Jecht, who hadn’t understood anything to do with Yevon or the teachings, but thought this part at least was obvious.

There was a silence, and then Auron said, “There’s no need to talk nonsense, Jecht. You’re not going to convince me you’re from Zanarkand.”

“I’ll be recording spheres to send to Yuna on the journey,” said Braska, deciding it best to ignore Auron’s remark. “You can take some too, if you like.” He handed the device to Jecht, and then walked on, hoping not to have to preside over an argument between his guardians.

Jecht looked down at the sphere recorder, turning it over in his hands; it resembled nothing he had ever seen before, but after a few experimental button presses, he was confident that he had got the hang of it. He dashed in front of Braska, flicked the switch, and pointed the device towards the impressive building behind them.

“What are you taking?” Auron asked suspiciously, walking towards Jecht as Braska headed out of frame.

“Well, you said it was gonna be a long trip,” said Jecht. “We’ll be seein’ a lot of neat things, right? So I thought I’d record it all in this – to show to my wife and kid, you know.”

Auron frowned. He could picture it: a fiend ambushing the three of them, Jecht whipping out the sphere recorder as if it was just a bit of fun. “This is no pleasure cruise,” he said crossly.

Jecht rolled his eyes – the more time he spent with Auron, the more convinced he was that he had no concept of having a good time. He turned instead towards Braska, who had come to a stop and was staring into the distance. “Hey, Braska,” he said. “Ain’t this supposed to be a grand occasion? Where are the cheering fans? The crying women?” Braska wasn’t bad-looking, after all, he thought; Auron had the edge over him, and neither was a patch on Jecht himself, in his opinion, but all three of them were surely capable of turning more than a few heads.

“This is it,” said Braska. It was better this way, given Auron’s dishonour; but he decided it was best not to mention that to Jecht, certainly not yet, while the two of them still seemed at loggerheads. “Too many goodbyes,” he said instead: it was true in many summoners’ cases. “People think twice about leaving.”

“If you say so,” said Jecht doubtfully; it seemed a poor excuse for making such an inauspicious start to a journey that Auron had repeatedly assured him was of the utmost importance for Spira’s safety. “Well, it’d better be a lot more colourful when we come back,” he suggested. “A parade for Braska, vanquisher of Sin!”

Braska managed to disguise his unease with a halfhearted chuckle. “We should go,” he said, wondering if Jecht really knew as little about the pilgrimage as it seemed. “Day will break soon.”

Jecht nodded, and lowered the sphere recorder, pressing the button to eject the sphere; it emerged in the customary two halves. He looked down at them, puzzled, and said, “Uh, did it break?”

Having attempted to turn away and catch up with Auron, who had overtaken them both in his haste to get away from Jecht’s experimentation, Braska found himself staying with his new guardian so he could explain. “They produce two copies,” he said. “If you keep both, it’ll let you add some more footage later.” He paused, looking Jecht over. “You really are from somewhere quite different, aren’t you?”

“At least one of you believes me,” Jecht grumbled.

“Give him time,” said Braska, looking at where Auron walked ahead of them. “Auron is the most open-minded warrior monk I have ever met.”

“So I’m guessin’ you ain’t met many warrior monks,” Jecht hazarded.

Braska frowned. “No – quite the opposite, alas. You should give Auron more credit.”

“Right,” said Jecht, confused by the fact that Braska seemed to have taken offence at his words. He felt as if he was being scolded; it wasn’t a pleasant sensation. He strode forward to catch up with Auron, brandishing the sphere recorder as he did so.

“Hey, Braska said he wanted you to carry this, right?” he asked.

“You can carry it,” said Auron, “if you’re going to be the one using it. Seeing as you haven’t volunteered to take any of the other equipment –”

“Yeah, why buck the trend, huh?” said Jecht hastily, thrusting the device into Auron’s hands and retreating to a safe distance; Auron suppressed a groan.

They reached the gatehouse that marked the southern limit of the city, and presented themselves for inspection; Auron pointedly looked away as the warrior monk on duty opened the gate for them. Summoners’ parties were normally sent off much more obsequiously, he knew; it wasn’t uncommon to receive some gifts on behalf of the city, a few healing items to get them to Macalania, where the fayth would turn a good number of them back anyway. In his younger years, he had been the one making a few of those presentations himself. Now, they just had to be content with not being openly mocked as they passed through. He wondered what the three of them must have looked like: Jecht, drunk and blasphemous in his very appearance; Braska, who had been despised by most of the citizens of Bevelle for almost a decade; and Auron himself, somebody most of the warrior monks now couldn’t look at without laughing. It wasn’t an especially promising start to their journey.

They walked down the long, quiet Highbridge, and eventually found themselves in Macalania Woods.

Auron had travelled there fairly recently, on some kind of military exercise; Braska hadn’t visited for some time. Jecht, of course, had never seen the place before. He stared around in amazement: it was almost unbelievable to think that such a place existed so close to the urban precincts of Bevelle, and it was unlike anywhere he had ever seen. Having spent all his life in Zanarkand, he’d come across a few public parks, dotted with some mediocre flowers; but this put that kind of thing to shame several times over. Here, there were enormous trees, so tall that Jecht couldn’t see the tops of them; they twisted up to block out the sky, casting an eerie, green-tinged darkness over everything that he could tell would remain in place even after the sun had finished rising. Despite the shade, though, it remained easy enough to see due to strange sparkles and glows that suffused the whole forest. Some of them came from the plants themselves, bathing parts of the foliage in a strangely soothing warm red light; others simply shone in the air, twinkling for a moment and then disappearing as soon as Jecht thought he might get a chance to look at them more closely. It was so strange, he thought, that he ought to have been disturbed by it, but that was impossible: the sight was somehow innately calming. He found himself experiencing a deep desire to lie on his back among the leaves and merely enjoy the feeling of being in nature; but instead, he maintained a carefully neutral expression. He didn’t want the others to see that he was so taken by their surroundings.

Auron too felt an odd sense of peace as the three of them entered the forest. Now that they were out of Bevelle, he would have no reason to return to the city until the pilgrimage ended. They would meet warrior monks on the journey, inevitably, but many of those would be people who had been stationed in the provinces for months or years and who, with any luck, would have no idea about the infamy Auron had acquired. For the first time in weeks, he would perhaps be able to go about his business without constantly anticipating that he might meet someone who was going to laugh at him. Maybe they would even be polite. Until recently, he had commanded respect; the thought of that being the case again was too tempting not to dwell on. Above all, without constantly having to try avoiding others, he would be able to turn his attention to what mattered: guarding Braska, and fulfilling the vow he had made to himself when he had first learnt that Braska was going to take the pilgrimage.

They were just a few feet into the forest when they encountered the first fiend of the journey: a skinny, lizard-like creature that rose up out of nowhere and made for the three of them. Braska and Auron exchanged a resigned glance: it would be the first of many. Outside the towns and cities, Spira was plagued by the creatures, as if the threat of Sin wasn’t enough. At least the fiends in most regions could generally be vanquished by a group of moderately skilled fighters, and Auron in particular was a proficient swordsman. He grasped his weapon with both hands, anticipating the attack; beside him, Braska focused too, ready to call on the elements. Only Jecht was anything but fully prepared; he managed to draw his own sword, but only got as far as slashing wildly at the air while the others entered combat.

“Concentrate,” Auron barked, in between mostly ineffective blows – unfortunately for him, the fiend was fast, and managed to evade the majority of them. “You’re not helping.”

The fiend took advantage of Auron’s distraction to lash out at him with a claw, and Auron was knocked off-balance; he stumbled into a crouched position, and tried to scramble up again, but found himself too weakened by the injury to stand. All he could do was watch while Jecht made absolutely no effort to deal with the fiend, even as it turned its attention towards Braska –

“Defend him,” he gasped, and Jecht looked down at him in panic, before shrinking back, making no effort to intervene between the fiend and Braska at all.

Braska called a blast of ice over the fiend, and it was enough to take it down; it dissipated into a cloud of pyreflies, sparkling multicoloured motes that swirled around for a few seconds before fading into the air. Jecht stood immobilised, eyes still round with fright, as Braska knelt by Auron and carefully pressed a hand to his forehead; Auron felt the warm, familiar sensation of healing magic pouring into his body.

As soon as his restoration was complete, he clambered to his feet and rounded on Jecht. “What in the names of all the fayth was that?” he spat. “Didn’t I tell you to defend him? Why do you think I bought you that sword – to use as some kind of ornament?”

“Just didn’t expect it, is all,” Jecht mumbled. “Not used to this fightin’ stuff –”

“Well you’d better get used to it,” said Auron. “And don’t just stand there like an idiot when you should be protecting Lord Braska –”

“Auron,” said Braska, finding himself slightly agitated by his guardian’s outburst. “I can fight too; you know that. This is new to Jecht – I’m sure he’ll be better at it in a few days.”

“We can’t afford that,” Auron protested. “The fiends around here are dangerous. We all need to be prepared to fight.” The fiend was long gone, but his heart was still racing; his anger at Jecht had replaced the adrenaline from battle. He had a good mind to launch himself at the other guardian, to show him how serious this was by settling this physically; only the knowledge that it was likely to upset Braska was enough to hold him back.

“Yeah,” said Jecht. “I’m sorry, right? I just need some practice.”

He was genuinely chastened, and he looked it; less than a day in his company and Auron already knew it was a rare sight. It did little for Auron’s rage, though, and he tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword as Braska nodded and said solemnly, “We understand.”

There was nothing to understand, Auron thought angrily, other than that Jecht was neglecting his duty.

They headed on, meeting more fiends in the process; Jecht’s attempts at fighting remained clumsy and off-target for a while, but he quickly gained confidence and soon started to make a more useful contribution. For someone who had never encountered a fiend until that very morning, and who was yet to realise exactly what they were, he was performing beyond all expectations. Auron noticed this, but chose not to comment on it; he didn’t want to give Jecht an excuse to start talking about how great he was again.

A few battles in, Jecht noticed that Braska’s style of combat was decidedly unusual. Auron liked to hack away at the fiends with his large sword and pretend there was something refined about it, but Braska’s offence seemed to consist of moving his staff until odd explosions of energy appeared in their foes’ vicinity. Jecht wondered if the staff was another piece of strange Spiran technology, but it didn’t look as if it was equipped with any buttons or even a source of power.

“So, what’s with the way you fight, Braska?” he said.

“What do you mean?” Braska asked him.

“Well, you ain’t got a sword,” Jecht pointed out. “You just wave that thing around and stuff comes out, I guess. But it just looks like a piece of wood, don’t seem to be electric or anythin’.”

“Well, no,” said Braska. “The staff is just for channelling the energy, really. The spells come from my mind, you see.”

Jecht frowned.

Auron joined them with a snort of contemptuous laughter. “Jecht claims to be having trouble understanding the concept of magic,” he said.

“Magic?!” Jecht exclaimed. He looked at each of the others in turn, taking in Auron’s unimpressed expression and Braska’s rather weary one. “But that’s – no human could – you gotta be kidding. You’re kidding, right?”

“It’s not that uncommon,” said Braska after a moment, when it had become clear that Auron wasn’t going to deign to respond. “Many people can perform a few basic spells, and summoners are usually fairly proficient. It’s the best way to protect ourselves from fiends, especially among those of us who don’t have Auron’s gift for swordwork.”

Jecht was still reeling at the revelation – that magic actually existed, and was apparently so common in Spira that people discussed it in such casual terms – but with Auron seeming to find his ignorance so amusing, he tried to play it cool. “Well, that’s – that’s good to know,” he concluded. “Magic. No problem.”

He fell into step beside Braska as they walked on, and said, “Hey, your little girl’s real sweet.”

“Yuna?” said Braska. He sighed; leaving her had been painful. “Yes, she’s wonderful. Such a special child.”

“How old is she?” Jecht asked him.

“Seven,” said Braska.

“Oh, really!” Jecht remarked. “Same as my kid, then. He’s a real wimp, though, not like Yuna. She could teach him a thing or two.”

“You have a son?” said Braska, taking the opportunity to change the subject. “Back in Zanarkand?”

Jecht nodded. “Yeah, just me, him, and the missus. Dunno how they’re copin’ without me, hah. Bet they’ll be surprised to hear about all this” – he gestured at the trees around them – “when I get back.”

Braska hummed in agreement.

“So is it just you and Yuna at home, or is there a lady?” Jecht remarked casually.

Braska immediately felt a lump form in his throat. It had been three years since his wife had been taken by Sin, and he was still deeply affected by it; in fact, losing her had been his main motivation for becoming a summoner. “No,” he said quietly. “It’s just the two of us.”

“Ah, well,” said Jecht. “You’re a good-looking guy, maybe you’ll meet someone on the pilgrimage. All the women of Spira to choose from, huh? I guess after you beat Sin, you’ll be hot property.”

Braska had ceased to register what he was saying; the unexpected mention of his wife had been too destabilising. It wasn’t Jecht’s fault, he knew, but he found himself not wanting to talk much anymore. After that, he mostly gave distracted, monosyllabic answers to Jecht’s attempts at starting conversation. Jecht eventually gave up on engaging him and took to walking ahead on his own, which seemed preferable to trying to speak to Auron; he didn’t fancy being accused of lying again.

The rest of the day’s journey took place mostly in silence, other than during encounters with fiends, where the three travellers found themselves having to collaborate. Between battles, Auron went over the preparations for the journey in his mind; as much as he’d intended to do so the previous night, he’d fallen asleep surprisingly quickly. Being someone who had always found it easier to store knowledge in his head than bother with writing it down, he felt fairly confident that he knew how the pilgrimage would work. He had a mental repertoire of directions, how long it would take to get from one place to the next, where they would need to camp and when they would need to set off so as to make it to the next such spot by nightfall; how many days’ worth of rations he would need to prepare at each inn and travel agency they stopped in. Slotting Jecht into the plan wasn’t too difficult when he gave it some thought. As a second guardian, he would theoretically be able to share some of the planning responsibilities too, although Auron already knew it wasn’t even worth raising the subject.

He knew the questions he would be asking as well; where he would be posing them, and to whom. That was a part of his preparations that he had kept hidden from Braska. With the right enquiries and the workings of the sharp mind and strong sword arm that had once made Auron the most highly commended young warrior monk in Bevelle, he knew he would succeed in his self-imposed task.

The battles with fiends continued; not long after what had seemed to be a fairly run-of-the-mill fight, both Braska and Auron were startled by a loud groan behind them. They looked around, surprised to see Jecht doubled over, clutching at his chest and grimacing in pain.

“Jecht!” Braska exclaimed, putting his morose mood aside at the sight of Jecht’s discomfort. He rushed towards his guardian with his staff aloft, casting a strong white magic spell as he did so. Jecht felt an odd but nonetheless pleasant sensation around him; when it had receded, he gradually became aware that nothing hurt anymore. He straightened up cautiously. “What was that?” he said.

“That?” Braska echoed. “Oh – sorry – magic again, I’m afraid. For healing. What was wrong?”

Jecht shrugged. “Well, we’ve fought a lot of things, it adds up, right? Think that last one broke a rib, though.” He prodded at the body part in question experimentally; it felt perfectly fine.

“What?” said Braska. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jecht shrugged. “Didn’t think you could do anythin’ about it.”

“But you should have said,” Braska insisted, “and we could have at least given you a potion – haven’t you noticed how I’ve been healing Auron?” Over the course of the day, Auron had been slowed, stunned, and doused with water; he had received nasty blows to his head, arms, and torso; he had taken more damage than he had really needed to, because he was determined to intercept attacks directed at Braska, and normally managed it. For the more minor injuries, he had taken potions; for the worse ones, Braska had been on hand to heal everything immediately.

“You should tell me as soon as you get hurt,” Braska went on. “My magic is powerful, but white spells lose their effectiveness if they’re used too late.”

“Sure,” Jecht mumbled. In truth, he’d noticed Auron informing Braska about his own injuries, and had vaguely surmised that Braska was doing something to help, but he hadn’t wanted to get involved. He himself had been in more and more pain over the course of the day, but had managed to keep it hidden, with some help from his bottles of beer, until that last fiend. He didn’t want to appear weak by revealing his discomfort: all the times he’d received injuries in the blitz sphere back in Zanarkand, he’d just got on with things and done his best to discreetly patch himself up later. That was how things were done. The very last thing he wanted was to show vulnerability.

With so many fiends around, though, he could see it was unsustainable to take that kind of approach. Keeping quiet would mean he would probably collapse at some point, and that would be far more embarrassing than having to let Braska know about a few minor scrapes. From that point on, he began to awkwardly tell Braska each time he was hurt, and the summoner was always quick to assist.

Eventually, evening came and they reached the place where Auron had determined they would camp for the night. They consumed the rations – Jecht made a few complaints about the quality of the food, which Auron ignored – and then Auron began the work of pitching the tent. Jecht remained seated on the ground, working through some more of his beer supply, while Braska searched through their belongings for the sphere recorder. He had promised Yuna that he would record a short message for her each night, and send each one back to her at the next opportunity, until they got past the Calm Lands and away from civilisation. It would help her understand what he had resolved to do, and make their goodbye less sudden.

He sat on the ground, switched the device on, and gave it a small wave. “Hello, Yuna,” he said. “Well, we’ve been travelling a day now, and it’s all gone smoothly so far.” That wasn’t entirely true – he had spent a good deal of time holding back tears after Jecht had asked him about her mother – but there was no need to worry her. “The fiends have been no trouble at all – Sir Auron’s made sure of that. And Sir Jecht, of course – we’ve been enjoying getting to know him.”

Jecht hauled himself to his feet and lurched towards where Braska sat, attracted by the sound of his own name. No doubt, he thought, Braska was rhapsodising about how great his new guardian was. “Hey,” he drawled, looking at the sphere recorder. “What’s this? Keepin’ your fans updated?”

“I’m taking a sphere for Yuna,” Braska explained. “I told her I’d –”

“Oh, Yuna!” Jecht interrupted, sitting down eagerly next to him. Braska couldn’t help recoiling slightly; the smell of beer on his guardian’s breath was difficult to ignore. “Hey, Yuna, hi!” Jecht went on, and waved at the device. “We’re doin’ good so far, right, Braska?”

Braska managed a polite nod.

“You know what, though,” said Jecht, “this place sure is different than Zanarkand. I can’t get over how dark it is at night, you know? Like, in Zanarkand, there’s always so much goin’ on – most of the big blitz games are in the evening, the whole stadium gets lit up … it just looks so awesome. I’ll have to show you guys sometime! Guess everyone just goes to bed here soon as it gets dark, huh?”

“Mostly,” Braska mumbled, once he realised Jecht expected an answer.

Jecht threw his head back in frustration. “Man, you guys are so lame. No, listen – in Zanarkand, on match night, the whole city’s like a big party. Everyone stays up to watch the game, the stadium’s always full – and all the losers who can’t get tickets watch it on TV. And then after the game we stay out celebratin’ till the sun rises. It’s crazy. Not like this place!” He looked at Braska, frowning, as if he thought it was Braska’s fault the woods were so quiet.

“Well,” said Braska, taking advantage of the fact that Jecht’s monologue seemed to have ended. “I think we’ll leave it there for tonight.” He attempted to give the sphere recorder his full attention. “I’ll send this when we get to the travel agency in Macalania. I love you – goodnight.” He gave another small wave, and reached towards the device to switch it off before Jecht could prolong the conversation.

“Aw man, Yuna’s so cute,” said Jecht fulsomely. “She’s missin’ ya, I bet.”

Braska sighed. “Yes. I’m going to turn in, Jecht – I’m tired.” He headed towards the tent without waiting for Jecht to respond. White magic tended to tire its wielder, and Braska had used plenty of it during the day keeping them all healed; on top of that, he had found the day somewhat emotionally exhausting as well. It was a familiar experience.

“Is it ready?” he said to Auron, who had just secured the final peg.

Auron nodded. “Are you all right?” he asked.

Braska responded with an awkward shrug; he suspected that if he said another word, it would all become too much. He ducked quickly into the tent; Auron paused for a moment, wondering whether to follow him inside, and then decided to sort out the night’s arrangements with Jecht first. “Are you listening?” he said to him sharply, trying to put the thought of Braska out of his mind. “This is important.”

“What?” Jecht slurred, much less disposed to be civil now that he was interacting with Auron and not Braska.

“We need to keep watch in case of fiends,” Auron said, trying to ignore Jecht’s drunken state. “You can take the first shift – it’ll be easier that way when you’re not used to it. The night fiends are weaker, so if you’re on your guard, there shouldn’t be any problems. If you see something you think you can’t handle, come into the tent and wake me – not Lord Braska, just me. Got it?”

“Yeah, sure thing,” said Jecht.

“I’m serious, Jecht,” said Auron. “If you fall asleep on the job, we could get badly hurt.”

“I get it,” said Jecht. “I’ll stay awake, I promise.” He belched loudly.

“In Yevon’s holy name,” Auron muttered, before addressing Jecht again. “You should take potions if you get hurt,” he said. “They might sober you up too, if we’re lucky.”

“Ah, fuck off,” said Jecht.

Auron ignored the remark, and looked into the sky, eventually raising a pointing finger. “You can come and wake me up when the moons are there and … there,” he said carefully. “That’ll be midnight.” He turned and headed into the tent.

What he saw when he made his way inside was enough to make him stop in his tracks. Braska had changed into his long nightshirt and was lying red-eyed in his bedroll; his glum expression was nothing new. But as part of his preparations for sleeping, he had removed his headdress – and, Auron realised, this was the first time he had really seen Braska’s hair. In the five years they had known each other, Braska had always worn something to cover his head; even when he had been in the worst stages of mourning his wife, and had spent long hours in bed, he had always sported a simple headwrap during Auron’s visits. Now that they were travelling together, he had clearly decided that keeping his hair covered constantly was unnecessary.

There was nothing at all remarkable about Braska’s hair. It was a medium brown, and just long enough for a slight wave to be detectable: the same sort of hair, in the same sort of style, that was found among many of the men of central Spira. But as far as Auron was concerned, seeing it for the first time was like slotting the final piece into a puzzle. At last, he could appreciate Braska’s true appearance, and understand how that hair and that face came together to form the man he saw in front of him.

“How are you feeling, sir?” he asked, trying not to let it distract him too much.

Braska sighed. “It’s been difficult. Just – you know, leaving Yuna behind, and getting used to all this –”

“I know,” said Auron.

“It’s really happening,” said Braska. “And I’m glad of that – I truly am.” He passed a hand briefly over his eyes. “At least we’re away from Bevelle.”

“Yes,” said Auron. “Fayth be praised. I …” He exhaled slowly. “I didn’t realise how much I needed to get out of there. But now that we’re away from it – it feels as if I can breathe properly. Like a weight’s coming off my shoulders. You know?”

“I’m so glad to hear that,” Braska murmured.

Auron turned away to change, putting on the vest and undershorts that he normally wore at night before settling into his bedroll. Braska, unlike Jecht, had the decency not to make any remarks about his musculature.

“Would you do something for me, Auron?” Braska asked quietly, after extinguishing the small flame he had conjured by his own bedroll to give them some light.

“Of course, my lord,” said Auron. “Anything.”

Braska nodded in gratitude, although Auron failed to see it in the darkness. “Earlier today,” he said, “Jecht asked about my living situation.”

Auron frowned, not following. “Sir?”

“I mean –” Braska sighed. “He wanted to know about her, I think, and I – I couldn’t tell him.” His voice had faltered; he cleared his throat. “You wouldn’t mind, would you? I can’t bring myself to explain –”

“Ah,” said Auron, understanding; Braska’s references to her only ever concerned his late wife. “Yes. I’ll tell him tomorrow.” He couldn’t prevent a note of resignation creeping into his voice at the thought of it: he already knew that trying to have any kind of serious conversation with Jecht was difficult.

“I’m sorry,” said Braska. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so quick to bring him with us. I didn’t mean to make things more difficult.”

“No, it’s fine,” said Auron, not entirely honestly. “I suppose I should learn to get on with him. I just sometimes think Yevon must have sent him here to test my patience.”

“Yevon has tested you enough,” said Braska quietly.

“I should try to be more cordial to him, anyway,” said Auron.

“I would appreciate that,” Braska admitted. He yawned. “Oh, Auron, I’m exhausted – I shall have to say goodnight. Thank you for … for all this.”

“You’re very welcome, sir,” said Auron. “Sleep well.”

3. You Wouldn’t Understand

The night fiends were weaker, as Auron had said; they were still something of a challenge to Jecht, who had never even seen a fiend before that morning. Regardless, he managed to take them all down singlehandedly; he wasn’t about to go into the tent and admit to Auron that he was having trouble. Keeping himself healed with potions, he made it through his shift and headed into the tent; there, having determined which of the two motionless forms was Auron, he awkwardly seized the other guardian by the shoulder and shook him until he woke up. While Auron stood and dressed, Jecht stripped to his underclothes and eagerly clambered into the bedroll that Auron had vacated, where he soon fell asleep.

Morning came; Braska and Jecht rose, and all three consumed their rations, the summoner at a rather slower rate than his guardians. Auron dismantled the tent, and Jecht drank a couple more of his beers, pleased that he had had the foresight to stock up before leaving Bevelle. He engaged in a few morning stretches, and then looked back towards Braska and Auron, who were sitting on the ground, silently and studiously shaving their faces.

The sight made Jecht want to laugh: Auron had told him several times that he shouldn’t expect any luxuries on the pilgrimage, and the attention his companions were paying to their personal grooming seemed incongruous with their rudimentary sleeping quarters. “Didn’t realise you both cared so much about what you look like,” he remarked.

Auron squinted up at him. “It’s a sign of propriety to be clean-shaven,” he explained. “We do hope to maintain some decorum on this journey.” He glanced pointedly at Jecht’s own beard.

“That’s the tradition in Bevelle, at least,” Braska added quietly.

“Yes,” said Auron. “Anyone under sixty or so is supposed to shave. That’s what the teachings tell us.”

As Jecht scoffed and walked away, Auron couldn’t help thinking of his friend Wen Kinoc, one of the few men he knew in Bevelle who defied the teachings on that particular matter. His beard was always neatly trimmed, but its very existence had been known to shock the senior clergy from time to time. Kinoc was like that: a moderniser. His noble birth and his skills in persuasion meant he mostly got away with it. He and Auron had spent hours in the barracks debating the merits of different types of weaponry. Kinoc always extolled guns; Auron ribbed him about sounding like a Crusader – part of Spira’s lay military force, who tended to be more relaxed about Yevon’s teachings – and defended the virtue of his sword. It was a running joke between them that whichever ended up commander of a company first would force all the men to pick one or the other.

Kinoc had won that one, Auron reflected. He was second in command at the barracks now; that was the position Auron would have held, if things hadn’t gone awry for him. Had he accepted the marriage he had been offered, he would have avoided all the trouble that had happened since – but it had been unthinkable from the outset.

The three of them continued on their journey; Auron braced himself for the conversation he would have to have with Jecht. The thought of discussing something so serious with him wasn’t appealing; but Braska had asked, and he knew Jecht would need to learn what had happened to Braska’s wife sometime. His thoughts turned to her; they had met a few times before her untimely and tragic death. She and Braska had been so devoted to each other; they had had to be, when they had so few allies in Bevelle.

Girl – that was her name. Braska had always been a little embarrassed by it; the Al Bhed sometimes employed unusual naming practices. Because they spoke their own language, words that were quite mundane in common Spiran often seemed exotic to them, and they occasionally adopted them as names thinking it sophisticated. Many of the Al Bhed escaped this misfortune, receiving names that followed the longer-established traditions of their race; those unlucky enough to have fashion-conscious parents were potential targets of ridicule from Yevonites, although Yevonites rarely respected the Al Bhed enough to ask their names anyway.

Braska had been so distraught after Girl’s death that he had been judged unfit to care for his daughter. Auron had taken to visiting Braska daily at that time, fearing the worst if he left him to wallow in his misery too long, although Braska’s energy levels had been so low that it was unlikely he would be able to harm himself even if he wanted to. Gradually, he had regained his strength to a point where he was mostly capable of going about his business unaided; but even now, three years later, he still had dark days, and there was a constant melancholy around him. Auron had spent a long time searching for ideas about how to shake it.

Jecht was walking ahead, confident that he could be the advance guard against any fiends now that he had a little experience; Auron strode forward to catch up with him. “I need to talk to you,” he said.

Jecht rolled his eyes. “What about? Let me guess, you’re gonna tell me I’m deluded about Zanarkand again? Don’t waste your breath.” Over breakfast, he had attempted to tell a couple of stories about the city, and each time he had mentioned its name Auron had insisted on muttering some pointed remark.

“No, it’s not that,” said Auron. “Look, Jecht, this is important. Can’t we have a civil conversation, just this once?”

Jecht scoffed. “You, tellin’ me to be civil? Auron, that’s all on you, and you know it.” He spared him an unimpressed glance. “Go on, make it quick.”

“It’s –” Auron began. “Lord Braska asked me to speak to you. About Yuna’s mother.” He had lowered his voice to ensure Braska, a few paces behind them, didn’t hear their conversation. “She died, three years ago – killed by Sin.”

“Sin!” Jecht squawked. “As in the thing Braska’s tryin’ to kill? So what, is this some revenge thing?”

“Keep your voice down,” said Auron. “No, it’s more complicated than that. Anyway, the point is, Braska would appreciate it if you could be sensitive. He finds it difficult to talk about – it’s best if you just don’t bring his wife up at all. And certainly don’t start suggesting he find some other woman to go off with – that would just upset him.”

Jecht scratched the back of his neck; the thought of Braska being upset made him feel uncomfortable. It was disturbing on some kind of primal level: men were meant to be strong. They weren’t supposed to be at the mercy of emotion; that just made them feeble and pathetic, in his opinion. “Three years, though?” he mumbled. “Ain’t he over it by now?”

“Over it?” Auron echoed, incredulous. “Jecht, she was the love of his life. I don’t imagine that’s something you can relate to, but –”

“The hell does that mean?” Jecht interrupted. “I’m married too, remember? You’re the one that’s probably never gotten laid before – stuck-up prick.”

Auron frowned, about to argue, but then remembered his promise to Braska; he needed to try to get on better with Jecht, even if Jecht did make it incredibly difficult. “That’s not true,” he said calmly, “but I can see why you might be confused. There are two orders of monks in Bevelle: those who join the civilian order do take a vow of chastity, actually, but the warrior monks don’t have the –”

Jecht groaned. “Did I ask? I don’t care about dumb monks.”

“Right,” Auron muttered, and ceased the conversation immediately. So much for that, he thought.

They continued through the forest, dispatching more fiends; Jecht had got the hang of them now, realising that as Coultan had predicted, he was best equipped to take down the faster ones, while Auron could deal with the large, heavy ones and Braska used his magic on those that were less corporeal. There were certainly a few mishaps, and the assistance brought by potions and white magic was crucial, but Jecht was getting used to that too. In fact, he had started to wish they had access to such things back in Zanarkand, instead of having to rely on slow-acting pharmaceuticals and waiting for wounds to heal naturally. He’d injured himself badly during a recent training session, colliding with some kind of rusty undersea detritus that had left a deep cut in his right forearm. It had forced him to put an abrupt end to his practice and head home, staunching the bleeding with a towel until he’d been able to get a bandage applied to the wound with some assistance from his long-suffering wife. Several days afterwards, the bandage was still on his arm; the injury would leave a scar, almost certainly, but it was just another to add to the collection. As far as Jecht was concerned, the scars just added to his rugged good looks.

It did still hurt though, sometimes; Jecht’s wife, who had completed some medical training, had informed him that the cut was deep enough to cause some minor damage to the nerve. He’d resolutely ignored her advice to take painkillers, and certainly hadn’t drawn attention to his discomfort, but now that he was aware of the superior treatments available in Spira, he wondered whether there might be a way of expediting the healing process. None of the potions he’d taken had had any effect on this particular injury, but maybe a spell applied directly to the area would help, he thought.

He approached Braska, and said, “Hey, would you do me a favour?”

“Hm?” said Braska. It was a question he wasn’t used to being asked; Auron would certainly never dream of it, especially now that Braska was a summoner.

“Uh, I got this scratch, see, on my arm,” said Jecht, raising his bandaged wrist into view. “Doesn’t hurt or nothin’, it’s just, this bandage gets in the way, you know? Just thought maybe you could do some kinda spell on it.”

“It depends,” said Braska. “What sort of injury is it?”

“I was out swimming,” Jecht explained, “and I stabbed myself on some kind of shipwreck. Went in pretty deep.”

Braska frowned. “When was this?”

“A couple days ago,” said Jecht. “Actually, it would’ve been the day before I wound up in Bevelle, so …” He performed a quick calculation. “Four days, I guess.”

“Ah,” said Braska ruefully. “I’m afraid too much time has passed, in that case. There’s very little we can do about flesh wounds, unless it’s within a few hours of the injury; a few minutes, ideally. Unless it’s causing you pain – I may be able to do something for that.”

“Uh –” Jecht hesitated. He didn’t want to admit that his forearm actually hurt – that was just a sign of weakness, in his opinion. He certainly wasn’t going to say anything about it in front of Auron. But, he considered, Braska was almost like some kind of personal medic. It made sense that Zanarkand’s top blitzball player should have someone available to attend to his many injuries. Maybe, he thought, Braska would consider coming home with him and offering his services there. It would certainly make the rest of the team jealous.

“Yeah, it hurts a bit,” he said nonchalantly.

Braska nodded, reaching towards the affected area and taking hold of it with his thumb and forefinger; Jecht stifled a gasp. “If I were to ask you where the pain is coming from,” said Braska, “would you say it was the surface of the wound, or is it more general?”

“Been through this with the old lady,” Jecht grunted. “She says it’s nerve damage.”

“I see,” said Braska, letting go of him. “In that case, I have just the thing.” He raised a hand to Jecht’s forehead, concentrated, and then let out a burst of white magic energy; Jecht didn’t notice an immediate difference, but upon tentatively flexing his wrist, he found that the movement didn’t hurt as much as before. “Huh, I guess that does make a difference,” he remarked. “What did you do?”

“We call it Shell,” Braska explained. “Nerve damage is akin to magic damage, in a way. All I’ve done is dull the signals from your nerves to your mind, so you won’t feel the pain as strongly. It’ll wear off in a few hours, but perhaps you’ll be feeling better by then anyway. I hear these things flare up from time to time.” He gave a small smile. “Anything else I can help you with?”

“Nope,” said Jecht, suddenly ill at ease with the fact that Braska was treating him like an invalid. “Why didn’t you use that?” he asked, nodding towards Braska’s staff in a hasty attempt to change the subject.

“The staff? I’m not used to it yet,” Braska admitted. “They say it’s more effective than using one’s bare hands, and I suppose it does seem that way for the offensive spells, but with white magic, it still feels a little strange. I haven’t had this staff long, you see, only since I started my summoner’s training.” He paused. “I’ve been trying to use it for casting the minor healing spells on you – I didn’t know whether you’d be comfortable with the hands, when we’ve only known each other a few days. But that Shell spell seemed a bit more important, so I just instinctively –” He let out a brief sigh. “Of course, what I should be doing for more important spells is using the staff. I just hope the fayth can look past my inadequacies.”

“You don’t use it on Auron,” Jecht pointed out.

Braska nodded. “Exactly. I ought to, but … I know he doesn’t mind if I just use my hands directly. We’ve been friends a long time, after all.”

“Dunno why you’d be friends with that guy,” said Jecht. “He’s so up his own ass.” Braska seemed pleasant enough, he had decided: he didn’t think the two of them had much in common, and Braska often seemed distracted, but at least the summoner was polite. As for Auron – Jecht had tried, to begin with, but he was just too disagreeable.

“No, Jecht,” said Braska somewhat sternly, “he’s not. I had a talk with Auron last night, and I did tell him he needs to be more patient with you, but you should do the same. He’s been having a difficult time recently – I don’t doubt that it’ll take him a while to trust you. I know you may find his behaviour frustrating, but all I ask is a little patience.”

“Right, I get it,” Jecht mumbled. “No need for a lecture.”

“I know you’re new to all this, Jecht,” Braska went on, “and there are things you may not understand, but I will not tolerate it if you insult Auron like that.”

Jecht grunted in response; his goodwill towards Braska had taken a hit. If he wanted to dislike Auron, he thought, he certainly had the right to do so. He wasn’t going to take orders from Braska just because Braska was a summoner: he was Zanarkand’s biggest blitzball star, after all. Everyone there fell at his feet; soon enough, the people of Spira would be doing the same.

They walked on, taking this path and that according to Auron’s instructions, seeing off additional fiends without too much trouble. The forest was extensive; neither Jecht nor Braska had any idea which direction they had ended up heading in, nor which way they would have needed to turn to find themselves back in Bevelle.

Jecht hummed a tune as they went along; it was the same one that always got stuck in his head. After a few iterations, Auron turned to him and said, “Stop that.”

“What is it now?” Jecht groaned.

Auron glared at him. “Don’t pretend you don’t know. The Hymn. You’re profaning it.”

“What hymn?” said Jecht.

Auron ignored him. It was more proof of Jecht’s duplicity, he considered: there was no way Jecht wasn’t familiar with Spira and its customs if he knew the Hymn of the Fayth. It was an ancient song in praise of the core principles of Yevon, and summoners’ duty of keeping Sin at bay; at least, that was what believers were always told. The words of the Hymn were in a classical dialect that very few people understood. Despite its arcanity, it had become the principal element of the Yevonite liturgy, sung so widely that even the Al Bhed knew it.

Eventually, they made it out of the forest, entering the region of Macalania Lake. In the short stretch where the trees ebbed away and the ground beneath their feet shifted from crunchy leaves to grass, the climate changed abruptly too, becoming windy and cold – so cold that a thick layer of snow coated everything. The lake itself was perpetually iced over. It was one of the mysteries of Spira: Yevonites tended to accept such things as proof of the limitations of the explanatory power of science, insisting instead that the workings of their homeland defied rational description. The Al Bhed, on the other hand, had made some preliminary enquiries into this kind of natural phenomenon, but as with much of their research, they had never managed to get very far as a result of the dual threat of Sin and Yevonite oppression.

A building stood near the start of the path that led out of the woods; the first sign of civilisation that the three travellers had seen in a while, it was one of the various hostels that could be found in the more rural parts of Spira, popularly known as travel agencies. Braska gazed at it in relief; his feet were aching after the long walk.

“This is our accommodation, I suppose?” he said.

“That’s right,” Auron replied. “It’s the last travel agency before the temple. It’ll take us an hour or two to get there tomorrow, so we can make sure you’ve rested enough before we set off, and then we’ll stay here tomorrow night as well before we head back into the woods.”

Braska nodded. The trip to the temple would take a lot out of him; he had learnt that much from his first visit to the fayth two months earlier, in Bevelle’s holy citadel. The occasion had been so physically and emotionally draining that after he had spoken to the spirit-child who took the role of the fayth of Bahamut, he had stumbled into a sitting position and been unable to stand again for several minutes, forcing himself to stay anchored to reality with the help of Auron’s hand rubbing careful circles into his upper back.

“Then what?” Jecht demanded. “We gettin’ close to Zanarkand yet?”

“When Lord Braska’s ready, we head back through the forest,” said Auron, not looking at him. “Our next stop is Djose, and it’s some distance away, as I’m sure you know.”

Jecht made a noise of frustration, ignoring the last remark. “This blows. I just wanna get home, not go to all these lame religious places.”

Auron was about to make a retort, but the sight of Braska’s weary expression was enough to remind him not to rise to the bait. It was for Braska’s sake, he reminded himself. He disliked Jecht possibly more than anyone else he had ever met, but Braska’s needs came first.

He led the others inside. Auron had stayed at a few travel agencies before with the corps, and this one was just like any other: there was the same small food market in one corner, a similarly furnished seating area, and the same poorly equipped bookshelf that would no doubt contain the usual collections of prayers and hymns. He made a mental note to check the shelf later: perhaps it might point the way to some information that could be of use.

The focal point of the reception area was a large, curved desk; a smartly dressed woman stood behind it, giving a deep Yevonite bow at the sight of the three guests. Trying not to show his relief that she hadn’t recognised him, Auron acknowledged the bow with a nod, and said politely, “Good afternoon. We’re looking for a room – for two nights, if possible. Lord Braska here will require a bed, but there’s no need for any luxury beyond that – basic quarters will be fine.”

The clerk turned to face Braska, understanding the nature of the group of travellers from his appearance as well as Auron’s request. “Lord summoner,” she said reverently, bowing again. “It is an honour.” She turned away to flick through her records, and then addressed Auron. “You can take room eight. One bed, as requested, and there are mats that the two of you can use.”

They thanked her, and were about to head on, when she added, “Just a word of caution: there’s an Al Bhed group in the next room. I’m afraid we get a lot of them staying here. We did instruct them not to do anything sacrilegious, but you never know, do you?” She shrugged apologetically. “I just hope they show you some respect, lord summoner. If they cause any trouble, we can ask them to leave, of course.”

Braska smiled uneasily. “I hardly think the Al Bhed are going to give us trouble,” he remarked to Auron once they had begun making their way along the corridor. “Not as much as we’d get in Bevelle, at any rate.”

“They might not be pleased to see a summoner, though,” Auron pointed out.

“I suppose not,” said Braska. “The Al Bhed don’t follow Yevon,” he added for Jecht’s benefit. “They’re not always well disposed to the idea of the summoner’s pilgrimage.”

“Oh yeah?” said Jecht. “Why’s that? If you wanna be a summoner –” He broke off as they entered the room. “Hey, a proper bed!” he exclaimed, immediately throwing himself onto it. “Been days since I slept in one of these!”

“The bed is for Lord Braska,” said Auron.

Jecht looked up at him from where he lay spreadeagle on the blanket. “What?” he moaned. “Are you kidding? You know who I am, right? They’d never let the great Jecht –”

“It’s for Lord Braska,” Auron repeated, more loudly.

“Auron,” said Braska, and then he approached Jecht. “My apologies, Jecht – but it is the proper procedure for the summoner to be permitted greater comfort where available. You are accompanying me for my protection, after all.” He sat on the bed as Jecht reluctantly vacated it, leaning back against the headboard, and closed his eyes: he really did need a rest. He hadn’t had to rely on his magic quite as much as the previous day – now that the three of them had become used to the types of fiends found in the forest, they had been able to dispatch them much more efficiently. But he could nonetheless feel the slight headache that sustained use of black magic tended to bring on, coupled with the weariness of white. Moreover, his legs and feet were still aching from all the walking; Auron had been sure not to set a pace that would overexert him, but it was still a lot more exercise than he was used to, especially in recent years.

“I think I’ll take a nap,” he murmured.

“Of course, my lord,” said Auron. “Can I get you anything?”

Braska shook his head. “Thank you, Auron. I just need to rest.”

“Are you sure?” said Auron. “I can ask the clerk for some tea –”

“I’m quite sure,” said Braska sharply.

Auron stepped back immediately. “Right, yes,” he mumbled. “Of course, sir.” He retreated into the corridor, closely followed by Jecht, who remarked, “Huh, tetchy, ain’t he?”

Auron sighed. “He’s just – you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh yeah?” said Jecht.

“Yeah,” Auron echoed, folding his arms. “I hope you’re not expecting me to spend the evening entertaining you.”

Jecht snorted. “As if. Pretty lousy entertainment that’d be.”

“Good,” Auron retorted, stomping off towards the reception area, where he planned to have a close look at the bookshelf he’d noticed earlier.

Jecht headed in the same direction, making for the reception desk. “Hey,” he drawled once he got there. “You guys sell beer?”

They didn’t have a lot available – they were waiting for a shipment, the clerk explained – but Jecht bought what he could to top up his supply, and then settled in to interrogate her some more. He still had a lot of questions about Spira, and the more he learnt about the place, the less any of it made sense.

Auron, meanwhile, was trying to work methodically through the books. Many of them could be discounted immediately: some were the standard Yevonite tracts that he practically knew by heart, while a surprisingly large number of the others were in the language spoken by the Al Bhed, which he had no knowledge of. He had made some lacklustre attempts at learning during his preparations for the pilgrimage, thinking that access to Al Bhed science might be useful for his task, but had quickly discovered that his talent for languages was minimal.

The remaining books were hardly much easier, given that Auron was a slow reader. One of them was a handbook to the Macalania Lake region, written by and for devout Yevonites; about eighty percent of it was devoted to an in-depth description of the temple, going into unnecessary detail about the materials used in its construction. The rest gave a perfunctory summary of the layout of the area and the wildlife and fiends that could be found there, as well as some speculation about why the climate of the region was so particular, which led as always to the disappointing conclusion that the divine mysteries of Yevon were simply inexplicable.

There were a couple of tedious-looking novels, and then, wrapped in brown paper, the well-known Treatise on Al Bhed culture and history that had long been banned in Bevelle. Auron had previously had a few opportunities to see it, but had always passed them up; now, more concerned with ensuring a successful end to the pilgrimage than adhering to Yevon’s teachings, he wondered if it might be of use to him. He opened the book and slowly began reading, but found himself distracted by practical matters. He would wash the party’s clothes the following evening, he thought, and he would have to make sure they had rations that would last them to the next travel agency, the one on the Thunder Plains. He would need to do a thorough check of the healing supplies, probably before going to bed; they had used a lot of potions in the last two days, and the remaining stock perhaps wouldn’t be enough for the journey to the temple, he considered, especially if the visit was hard on Braska – it wasn’t a good idea to have to rely on only white magic for healing at the best of times. Taking down fiends had meant they’d collected enough gil in bounties over the two days to be able to replenish the supplies, although they would have to be careful not to spend too much of it; it was always wise to have some in reserve.

With some reluctance, Auron forced himself back to his reading, struggling through the book’s introduction, which seemed mildly interesting but was of little practical value. After a while, Braska emerged from the corridor and lowered himself into the chair across the table from where Auron sat; Auron was glad to have an excuse to put the book down for a while.

“Feeling better, my lord?” he asked.

“A little,” said Braska. He had had a good sleep, woken up feeling more energetic, then taken his nightly sphere for Yuna; after that, he had started to think about the next day’s trip to the temple, and the thought of it had made him so apprehensive that he had started to feel worn out again. At that point, he had decided that the best thing would be some distraction, so he had hauled himself out of bed and made his way towards the agency reception, hoping to find Auron there.

He reached out towards one of the piles of books Auron had made, and looked at the one on top; it was a slim Al Bhed volume. “Oh, I haven’t seen one of these in years,” he remarked. “They were all the rage back when I lived with the Al Bhed. Thrillers about Yevonites and their torrid affairs – all highly improbable, of course.”

“I’m sure,” said Auron.

Braska turned the book over to read the blurb; although his command of Al Bhed had declined over the last few years, his reading comprehension remained passable. “This one’s about a priest and a nun who live in neighbouring temples,” he told Auron. “Of course, they start to realise they’re madly in love with one another, but they have no opportunities to meet and confess their love, so the nun devises a system using –” He frowned at the unfamiliar word. “Pyhhan – oh, it must mean a flag, I think. She uses the flag to send him messages, and then they arrange to meet illicitly at night, and then – oh, goodness me – they consummate their love in the temple, at the foot of the statue of Lord Gandof.”

Auron’s face had turned red; he had heard much worse before, growing up in the barracks, but hearing it from Braska was a lot more embarrassing. “Scandalous,” he managed to say.

Braska gave him a little smile. “They’re all like that, I’m afraid. Very popular among young Al Bhed ten years ago, although I suppose they’d be a bit dated now.” He picked up a few more books from the pile: a number of them were additional entries in the same long-running series. There were some larger volumes below them that looked familiar as well; he lifted one for a closer look, deciphered the title, and then said, “Ah, yes. Gahato’s shorter Al Bhed primer, volume sixteen. I had to use these in my studies – they’re very dull.”

“Doesn’t sound very short if there are sixteen volumes of it, sir,” Auron remarked.

“Twenty-six,” Braska corrected him. “Yes, frightful, isn’t it? I dread to think what the full version must be like. Someone once told me there’s only one copy and it’s buried underground somewhere for safekeeping.” He frowned. “Although perhaps he was trying to pull my leg a little.”

“What are the other Al Bhed books about?” said Auron casually. It had occurred to him that if any seemed as if they might be particularly useful, he could perhaps lift them and try to find someone who could translate later in the journey. He had never been tempted by petty theft before, but in his opinion, the importance of his task outweighed such minor moral concerns.

“Let’s see,” said Braska, working through the rest of the pile. “Gardening … this one’s the ship schedules for the southern islands routes … and this one is about fishing on Macalania Lake.”

“That seems optimistic,” said Auron, thinking of the perpetually frozen body of water they would be passing by the next day.

“It does, doesn’t it?” Braska mused. He looked at the book more closely, carefully reading the full title. “Cbalimydewa – ah – speculative fishing. I see; how peculiar.”

Auron laughed briefly, and then stood up, seeing that there were no books left to go through. “I need to check our supplies,” he explained. “I think we’ll need to stock up on potions before tomorrow.”

“Yes, thank you,” said Braska. “We may need a few – I don’t know if I’ll have the strength to cast, after the temple –”

“I’ll make sure we have plenty, my lord,” Auron confirmed.

Braska rose too, and headed to the reception desk. He planned to ask if the travel agency kept anything that might help his sore feet – the standard potions dealt well with battle wounds, but other aches and pains often responded better to alternative treatment. Braska had imagined it would be a simple question, but somehow found himself drawn into a long conversation about the practicalities of the summoner’s pilgrimage. Admitting that he had entrusted most of the planning to Auron didn’t seem to dissuade the clerk, who continued to ask him a whole string of questions with great enthusiasm.

After some time had passed, Braska gradually became aware that Auron was standing behind him. He had in fact been there for a good while, clearing his throat and shuffling his feet in an attempt to get Braska to notice him without interrupting the conversation.

“Is something the matter?” said Braska, turning around at last.

“Jecht’s gone,” said Auron promptly. “I’ve looked everywhere for him.”

Braska frowned. “Well, it’s not for us to dictate how he spends his evenings – we’re hardly his keepers.”

“He might have run off,” said Auron. “You know, decided he doesn’t want to accompany us anymore, and just bolted –”

“That would be regrettable,” said Braska, “but I thought you might be happier about it, Auron.”

Auron suppressed a grunt of frustration. Braska was right – he really would prefer it if Jecht was as far away from him as possible. But the thought that the other guardian might have disobeyed orders and abandoned them, Braska especially, was one he found highly insulting.

“Perhaps he’s gone into the village for a drink,” Braska suggested.

“Yeah,” said Auron, “a drink.” He snorted, ignoring Braska’s admonitory expression. “And he’ll be totally useless to us tomorrow, then. That’s just great.” He marched off.

“I hope I haven’t done anything wrong,” said the clerk. “Your guardian asked if there was anywhere he could go drinking nearby, so I did tell him there was a bar over in the village.”

“No, it’s all right,” Braska assured her.

“I didn’t think that sort of thing would be a problem for a summoner’s guardian,” she added.

“It’s fine,” he said again, trying his best to appear as if it really was. “Jecht and Auron just aren’t on the best of terms, that’s all.”

Jecht had indeed headed into Macalania village in search of somewhere to go drinking, on the clerk’s advice. The bar he found there was surprisingly lively: it was where many of the villagers spent their evenings, finding it a welcome refuge from the cold. Jecht sauntered towards the counter, cast a critical eye over the beers on tap, and ordered the one he deemed to have the highest chance of resembling a Zanarkand ale.

“Two gil,” said the barman listlessly.

He examined his pockets, but it was no good; he didn’t have a single coin on him. He knew he’d had some cash before – he must have left it behind at the travel agency, he reasoned, or been convinced, in a moment of surprising gullibility, by Auron’s entreaties that he add it to the communal stock. Not to be deterred, he clamped a hand onto the shoulder of the man sitting at the bar next to him, and said cheerfully, “Hey, wanna see something impressive?”

The man looked up at him slowly. He was already noticeably drunk, Jecht could tell, which would probably help his scheme. “Get lost,” he mumbled, and turned back to his beer.

“Aw, man,” said Jecht. “I bet you like blitzball, though, right? You realise you’re talkin’ to a pro blitzer here?”

The man turned around marginally more quickly at that; his interest had been piqued. “Prove it,” he said, after a slurp of beer.

After that, it was only a matter of locating a spare blitzball to get the pieces of Jecht’s plan to fall into place. It turned out there was a ball kept behind the bar, intended for outdoor tournaments on the rare warm days of summer, and the disinterested barman didn’t seem to object too much to the idea that Jecht might borrow it. When Jecht landed a particularly impressive trick shot that involved bouncing the ball off each of the four walls of the bar in turn, the punters seemed to take a bit of notice.

“So,” said Jecht conspiratorially, the second phase of his plan to score a few free drinks incoming, “bet you I can do that again even with some pints in me.”

“No way,” said his neighbour, who had become more invested since seeing the trick. “Not possible.”

“Go on, I bet you,” said Jecht.

“What’s your wager?” another patron asked him.

Jecht grinned. “You guys buy the drinks, I’ll give it a go. Then if I don’t make it, I’ll pay everyone back. If I do, you all had to buy my drinks for me. Deal?”

There was a general murmur of assent, and soon Jecht found a pleasantly high number of full glasses set down in front of him. He settled in to drink them: this was going to be a serious challenge – never mind the shot, just getting all of it down by morning.

After a couple of pints, he found himself getting chatty with the other patrons, who were all much further gone than he was.

“So who are you, anyway?” said one, with mostly unintended belligerence. “Ain’t seen you here before.”

“I ain’t from around here,” Jecht told him. “Just passin’ through, you know?”

“Not much blitz up this way,” his companion pointed out.

“Well, that ain’t all I do,” Jecht explained. “Actually, I’m here with a summoner. He’s goin’ to the temple tomorrow.”

The man gazed at him in surprise. “Wait … a summoner? You mean you’re a guardian?”

“Yeah, I am,” said Jecht proudly.

The man let out a laugh, took a swig from his glass, and said, “So, tell me. Summoners are either stupid kids with some kind of hero complex going on, or they’re arrogant enough to think they can break the cycle, or they’re suicidal. So which is yours?”

“Huh?” said Jecht.

“Gotta be one of ’em.”

The question was ludicrous, but Jecht was drunk enough to give it some thought. Braska was hardly a child, he thought, and neither did he seem especially arrogant: he clearly wasn’t shy of using his summoner’s privileges, but both Auron and Jecht himself were just as self-absorbed. The reference to breaking the cycle passed Jecht by completely, and the idea that summoners might be suicidal seemed equally baffling. It hadn’t escaped his notice that Braska often seemed miserable and withdrawn, but he certainly wasn’t going to waste time trying to evaluate the state of the summoner’s mental wellbeing: that wasn’t any of his business, and he hoped it never would be. “You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” he concluded.

The man laughed again, the same short, bitter bark. “Dream on. Sane people don’t decide to go off and become summoners. Well, I’m sure you’ll find out during the journey – just out of Bevelle, are you? You’ve got some nasty surprises coming.”

“Whatever,” Jecht muttered, turning back to his pint.

When his various glasses were empty, he struggled to his feet and somehow managed to locate the blitzball beside him. “All right!” he roared, holding it aloft. “I’m doin’ it! Everyone watch!”

They did, as he lobbed the ball into the air at entirely the wrong angle, aimed an inexpert kick at it, and sent it in a very vague approximation of the intended direction. It made it to the first wall, somehow, then bounced off and dropped straight to the ground.

“Shit,” he said, into the silence.

“Right, pay up!” someone called.

Jecht bolted, somehow finding his way to the exit despite the fact that everything was spinning slightly. It was a move that nobody had expected him to make, and given the resulting confusion and the fact that most people in the bar were even drunker than he was, nobody was able to pursue him soon enough to have any hope of catching up. At full pelt, Jecht ran up the slope that led out of the village and towards the vicinity of the travel agency, not daring to look back until he was safely inside, whereupon he took a moment to catch his breath before making his way towards the room that he was sharing with his companions.

The lights were out; they had both been asleep for several hours. The noise of Jecht’s clumsy entrance was enough to wake Auron, though, and he sat up, folding his arms in disapproval as he glared up at Jecht from one of the mats, which, Jecht was disheartened to see, looked much less appealing than the soft bed where he could just about make out Braska’s form gently rising and falling under the blanket.

“Where do you think you’ve been?” Auron hissed, as Jecht unsteadily made his way across to the other mat.

“Fuck you,” Jecht slurred. He dropped onto the mat in an ungainly manner and slowly embarked upon removing his armour, without a great deal of success.

“Can you – could you –” Auron paused, having so many things to reprimand Jecht for that he was unable to choose just one. “At least be quiet. Lord Braska’s asleep.”

Jecht grunted in response, and Auron lay back down in irritation, prevented from going back to sleep himself, first by the sound of Jecht laboriously taking his armour and clothes off, and then by the noise of him tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable on the mat, for what seemed like hours.

4. Hope

Morning came; Auron and Jecht rose and made their preparations for the day ahead, each of them taking great care to avoid the other until Jecht said, “So, we get breakfast in this shithole?”

“There’s a room next to the main reception,” Auron informed him with displeasure.

Jecht wasted no time in heading there; Auron instead approached Braska, who was still motionless under his blanket, and said gently, “Sir, are you awake?”

Braska was; he just hadn’t been able to bring himself to get up. There were days when the mere thought of going out and facing the world seemed like an impossible task, a heavy weight pinning him down and making him feel slow and sore, and this seemed to be one of them. He was due to commune with the fayth of Macalania Temple; as harrowing as the experience was likely to be, it would bring him closer to his goal, and he knew he ought to be glad of that. But the knowledge seemed to be doing nothing to lift his mood, and that in turn just made him feel even more forlorn and ashamed.

He had to overcome it, he knew; he had often doubted that he had the strength to undertake the pilgrimage, but it really was his only option. “I’ll be up soon,” he mumbled. “Just give me a moment.”

“Of course,” said Auron, gazing at Braska’s huddled form for a few seconds.

He headed to the breakfast room. Jecht had already taken great advantage of the food that had been laid out, sampling various items and then casting them aside when he had had enough of them. Auron made sure to ignore him as he entered, taking the seat opposite and reaching for some cold meats and the newspaper, then busying himself while he ate with reading the front-page article, which turned out to be about new regulations for conduct at temporary military encampments, something he already knew about and didn’t wish to be reminded of.

“Hey, Auron,” said Jecht suddenly. “Do me a favour and grab me one of those apples, yeah?”

Auron glanced over at the bowl of apples; he was barely any closer to it than Jecht was. “Get it yourself,” he said.

“Aw, come on,” said Jecht.

Auron wasn’t going to give in that easily. “Why should I have to fetch it for you? You can walk, can’t you?”

“Bet you would if it was Braska askin’,” Jecht pointed out.

“Of course,” said Auron, without a trace of embarrassment, “but I’m his guardian. It’s my duty to do what he asks – and yours too, or at least it should be.”

“You know,” said Jecht, “there’s people in Zanarkand that’d pay thousands of gil for the privilege of servin’ the great Jecht.”

“I’m not one of your imaginary fans,” Auron muttered, attempting to turn back to the newspaper.

“Man, you are so jealous,” said Jecht. “You really wish you were me. It’s tragic.”

Without looking up, Auron quietly replied, “I absolutely do not.”

Jecht let out a disdainful laugh, and then leant across the table. “Where’s my apple?” he said.

“I’m not getting you an apple,” said Auron, slowly and loudly. Despite his effort to keep looking down at the paper, he had ended up making eye contact with Jecht again; Jecht knew exactly how to annoy him.

“Yeah, you are,” Jecht countered, “because I’m gonna keep on askin’ till you give in and get one. Go on, Auron, grab me an apple – please … be nice to your old pal Jecht, come on, you know you wanna …”

Furious, Auron stood, marched over to the bowl, and seized one of the apples, nearly upending the bowl and spilling the rest of them onto the floor in the process; then he returned to the table, slamming the fruit down in front of Jecht so hard that the whole thing shook. He sat back down, folded his arms, and fixed his gaze on a speck on the ceiling.

“Hey, thanks, man!” said Jecht, his voice a ludicrous parody of innocent delight. “Oh Auron, you’re just great.” He took a bite of the apple, grimaced, and carefully inspected it. “Huh,” he said, setting it down on the table. “Well, that ain’t so hot.”

Trying not to shake visibly with rage, Auron closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. Jecht, meanwhile, turned his attention to the loaf of bread that had been set out. He sawed off a slice, took it over to the toasting machina, and then, once it was browned to his satisfaction, brought it back to his place at the table and began to coat it in butter, assiduously making sure every part of the bread was covered.

Auron opened his eyes and instantly regretted it. Jecht had used nearly the whole pot of butter on his bread, creating a layer almost half an inch thick: the sight of it was obscene, not helped by the fact that substantial quantities of the melted butter had dripped onto Jecht’s fingers. To Auron, the thought of consuming so much grease at once was appalling. He had never seen anyone eat with such a lack of restraint: in Bevelle, people were at least somewhat refined at mealtimes. The warrior monks ate hearty meals to maintain their strength, but they did so on the understanding that plentiful food was a privilege and a gift of the fayth’s divine providence. It was tacitly acknowledged that one should consume no more than they really needed, lest Sin should unexpectedly destroy any part of the supply chain – it happened often enough, and was sometimes catastrophic.

Satisfied with his handiwork, Jecht bit into the toast. Melted butter trickled onto his lips and clung to his scraggly beard in little beads, catching the light. Auron couldn’t help but stare at the revolting spectacle. The sight of Jecht smearing grease over himself like this was enough to make him feel nauseated.

“Got a problem?” said Jecht, mouth full of toast. More butter oozed out from between his parted lips and into his beard.

Half suspecting that opening his mouth would have unfortunate consequences, Auron declined to respond, fervently hoping instead that Braska would join the two of them and give him a distraction as soon as possible. It didn’t take too long before his prayers were answered: Braska shuffled in, fully dressed, and took the remaining seat at the table, murmuring a greeting without making eye contact with either of his guardians.

Auron was on his feet immediately, fetching Braska some fruit and a cup of tea, and making quiet enquiries as to whether he needed anything else; Braska declined in a whisper and made an unenthusiastic start on the breakfast that Auron had assembled for him. Jecht, meanwhile, had started to feel uncomfortable, once again, faced with Braska’s obvious emotional struggles. He muttered something about going to brush his teeth and then hastily left the room.

“Sir,” said Auron when Jecht was out of earshot, “you don’t look well. Maybe we should put things on hold for today – you can spend the time resting, and then we’ll go to the temple when you’re feeling better.”

Braska shook his head. “I appreciate your concern,” he said quietly, “but I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He could feel tears beginning to prick at the back of his eyes. “I just – I know I’m not – but if I don’t go today, it’ll be even worse tomorrow, and then –”

“Are you worried about speaking to the fayth?” Auron asked him.

“Not worried, so much as –” Braska broke off and sniffed loudly. “It’s just … a lot. It’s a lot.”

“I still think you should consider leaving it until tomorrow,” said Auron, “but either way, you know I’ll be with you – I’ll do anything you need. If it doesn’t go as planned, we can talk about that later. Until then, you save your strength; Jecht and I can deal with the fiends on the way there.” He bit back a remark about the location of the travel agency: out of all the provincial temples they were to visit, Macalania’s was the least well served in terms of hospitality, and the cold climate hardly helped. In Auron’s opinion, the agency would have served summoners much better if it had been built on the other side of the lake; then there would be no fiends intercepting the journey to the fayth’s chamber.

Braska took a deep breath, was still for a second, and then nodded. “Thank you,” he said. “Thank you, Auron.” He wiped his eyes and forced himself to sit up a little straighter. “Then let’s go. I need to do this, and I can. I can – for her sake.”

It was clear enough that he was referring to Girl. Auron found himself wishing, not for the first time, that Braska might one day become less fixated on his late wife – that was really the root of the problem. He gave a nod of encouragement, though; if Braska was determined to go on, that would be enough to see them to the temple, and whatever happened once they were there would be at the fayth’s prerogative.

They headed out to the reception area, ready to begin the journey. Jecht was sitting by the books, swigging from a bottle; he caught Auron’s eye and raised it in a mocking salute. Auron ignored him.

Not far from Jecht, there was a small group of people sitting around one of the few tables, whose distinctive jumpsuits and large goggles marked them out as the Al Bhed party the clerk had mentioned the previous evening. As Auron and Braska entered, one of the Al Bhed immediately stood up and approached them. “You are the summoner, yes?” he said to Braska, his command of the common language evidently good but heavily accented. “Your name is Braska?”

“That’s right,” said Braska, trying not to sound tearful.

“And you are going to the temple today – is that correct?”

“We are,” said Auron. “What’s your point? We need to get going.”

“Hold on,” said the Al Bhed, and headed back to the table where his friends sat; moments later, he was back with a few garments draped over one arm, holding them out towards Braska. “It’s cold,” he said. “You can borrow these vests. Al Bhed dransymc – thermal linings.”

Braska reached for the vests hesitantly. “That’s very kind,” he said, his voice still a little quieter than usual. “But why are you helping us?”

“We just passed through Bevelle,” the man explained. “We heard a fallen summoner had started the pilgrimage – an Al Bhed lover, they said. None of those Yevonites supported you, but we know you are doing this for everyone. Not just for Yevon.”

Braska nodded, taking hold of one of the vests between his thumb and forefinger, and rubbing the material carefully until he could bring himself to speak. “Thank you,” he murmured at last. “I’ll certainly take one – Auron? Jecht?”

Both of them declined; neither had ever been particularly bothered by cold weather. Jecht habitually dressed in little but shorts, and often spent several hours of the day underwater: he had trained himself to withstand even the most extreme temperatures. As for Auron, he simply preferred colder climates; even the city heat of Bevelle was sometimes too much for him in the summer.

“Al Bhed clothing won’t hurt you,” said the man, turning to Auron.

“I realise that,” said Auron irritably. “I’ve got nothing against the Al Bhed.” It was true; he found the Yevonite attitude towards the Al Bhed and their machina frustratingly hypocritical. In his view, both societies could evidently benefit from the skills and knowledge of the other: indeed, in Bevelle they often did, but it was always done behind closed doors and on the understanding that the general public of Spira were not to know about it. On a personal level, Auron appreciated the utility of certain machina for making life easier. There were certainly a few devices that he found somewhat disturbing, and others that he simply had no interest in: the guns that some modernisers had insisted on adopting in the corps were an example of the latter. Auron much preferred his sword, but he had no issue with people who chose to use the new weaponry, as long as they didn’t attempt to force it on anyone else.

Braska headed back to their room to put on his vest; Auron, whose irritation at Jecht had quickly been displaced by concern for Braska earlier, felt the former emotion return just as rapidly while they waited. At this point, the mere sight of his fellow guardian annoyed him intensely. His ridiculous insistence on going around half-naked, with that odious tattoo plastered across his chest like an advertisement; the hideous scars that he clearly had no qualms about displaying to all and sundry; his hoarse voice tinged with the rasp of alcoholism – all of it made Auron fervently wish he had never met the man. It seemed Braska had permitted him to come on the pilgrimage with them out of the goodness of his heart, but Auron had never been especially swayed by charitable feelings.

“What’re you lookin’ at?” Jecht drawled. He, likewise, wasn’t feeling particularly well disposed towards Auron himself. He’d given him the benefit of the doubt to begin with, but by this point, Auron had proved himself to be too disagreeable to be worth the effort.

Auron refused to answer; Jecht was drunk again, he noticed with displeasure. He concentrated on going over his mental checklist for the day, confirming to himself that they had enough supplies. At least, he thought, he had been able to leave the tent behind on this occasion; that gave him more capacity for potions, which would mean Braska could be spared from having to waste his energy on healing them all.

Braska emerged, noticeably red-eyed: a few minutes on his own had been enough for him to lose his composure again, particularly after such unexpected kindness from the Al Bhed. “Well, let’s go,” he said hoarsely.

“Sir, are you –” Auron began.

Braska raised a hand to cut him off, cleared his throat at some length, and spoke again, sounding much more confident. “Yes, Auron. I’m determined to do this today. Let’s be off.”

He ushered his guardians through the door, and then stepped out behind them, feeling a chill even with the assistance of the borrowed vest. It was not only cold but significantly windy: Auron’s ponytail flapped around in every direction, becoming horribly tangled within seconds. The sight of his bare left arm, and of Jecht’s bare chest and feet, was enough to make Braska shiver just thinking about how unpleasant it would be if he had to be out in that state himself.

Jecht looked up at the sign by the travel agency that welcomed visitors to the region, and suddenly remembered the sphere recorder. “Hey!” he said. “This is the first temple we’re goin’ to, right? I wanna get this on video – a souvenir for my kid, you know.” He located the device, along with the two halves of the sphere he had used to make his previous recording, and slotted them back into place. “Let’s just take a quick one of me and Braska under the sign,” he said, holding the recorder out for Auron to take. “Do me a favour and take the stick outta your ass for two seconds, would ya?”

Auron stared down at the sphere recorder, then back up at Jecht, and decided the only response he deserved was a frown. Jecht’s tomfoolery was an utter waste of time, he thought, as well as this being a highly improper use of machina.

“Asshole,” Jecht hissed.

Braska winced; for the first time, he feared that his guardians might actually come to blows. Clearly, he thought, neither had paid attention to his entreaties that they make an effort to be polite to each other, even now that he was deeply in need of their support. “I’ll do it,” he said hastily, stepping forward to take the sphere recorder from Jecht. He wouldn’t normally have offered, but he was keen for relations between Auron and Jecht not to get even worse. Besides, he didn’t fancy being captured on the sphere himself when it would probably be obvious that he had been crying just a few minutes earlier. “Auron,” he said, “you can be in this with Jecht, please.”

Auron stood rooted to the spot as Braska set up the recording; he was still appalled that Jecht insisted on wasting their time with such a vacuous pursuit, but he could hardly disobey Braska. Hoping they would be able to get it over with quickly, he tried unsuccessfully to ignore Jecht while the latter posed and preened under the welcome sign.

Braska switched on the device and attempted to capture both his guardians and the sign in the same shot. “Auron,” he called again. “Could you stand closer to him?”

It was the very last thing Auron wanted to do, and it took several seconds before he was able to bring himself to comply with Braska’s request and approach Jecht. When he had done so, he found it equally difficult to turn around and face the device again. In his belief, this whole exercise was not only pointless and a waste of time, but utterly demeaning. It made a mockery of the pilgrimage, which was, after all, a deeply sacred endeavour.

Braska suppressed a sigh; that was probably as good as he was going to get, and he didn’t want Auron to become even more angry. “Good,” he said, making a surprisingly successful attempt at sounding as if nothing was wrong. “That should do it.”

Auron was still glowering in totally the wrong direction, refusing to be captured properly on the sphere; Jecht turned towards him with a sneer. “What’s the matter?” he said. “Afraid I might bite?”

“Jecht,” Auron said through gritted teeth. He had managed not to react to the last few of Jecht’s taunts, but by now he was so frustrated that he couldn’t help showing it with more than a mere frown. Indeed, it was clear to Jecht that Auron was moments away from losing his temper completely. What would really send him into a rage now that he was finally responding, Jecht thought, would be if Jecht were to start ignoring him in turn. Feigning innocence, he turned away from Auron, stepped forward, and said, “Braska, you should take one too – it’d make a great gift for little Yuna.”

“I suppose,” said Braska doubtfully, as Jecht took up his pose once again. He wasn’t particularly inclined to take a sphere himself, but he wondered if acquiescing might keep at least one of his guardians happy; Auron certainly seemed too far gone.

“Lord Braska,” said Auron, striding forward at last, “we shouldn’t be wasting our time like this.”

“What’s the hurry, man?” Jecht jeered.

It was the last straw for Auron: he had had enough of Jecht’s constant goading. “Let me tell you what the hurry is,” he growled, surging forward with the sole aim of turning off the sphere recorder. He wrenched it from Braska’s grasp; Braska murmured his name in ineffectual protest, while Auron fumbled with the device until he had stopped the recording. He pulled the two half spheres out of the slot and held them aloft in one hand, the recorder in the other.

“People are dying, Jecht,” he spat. “Sin is killing people, every day, and this is the only way we can stop it. This journey is hard enough on Braska without you treating the whole thing like tourism; he didn’t decide to become a summoner so he could go on a nice jaunt around Spira, you know, he made this decision because he really thought he –”

“Auron,” Braska cut in, more sternly. “That’s enough.”

Much too late, Auron realised he had overstepped the mark. He looked at what he held in his hands with mounting horror, suddenly recalling that he had snatched the device straight out of Braska’s grip. “I’m sorry, sir,” he said desperately. “I’m truly sorry.”

Braska acknowledged the apology with a brief nod. “If the two of you can’t be polite to each other,” he said in the same cold tone, “then you’ll have to refrain from speaking to each other at all. You’re both here for my protection, and I need that protection today, more than ever – Auron, you know that. Engaging in petty squabbling is not part of your task.”

“I’m sorry,” Auron mumbled again, lowering his head in contrition. He felt terrible: Braska was right. The summoner’s safety was of far more importance than arguing with Jecht, however frustrating Jecht was.

Braska began to walk on, leaving his guardians to follow; he still felt shaken, and it was easier to cling to his anger than to let it turn back into the kind of wretchedness that would hinder his progress. He was disappointed in them both, Auron and Jecht, but he was just as disappointed in himself for having lacked the foresight to realise taking on a second guardian would cause so much trouble.

Auron, just as annoyed for different reasons, strode forward to take the lead. After his lapse in judgement, he was even more determined for Braska not to have to get involved in fending off any of the fiends they were to encounter. He poured his frustration into the first few battles, driving his sword into each foe as hard as he could without sparing a thought for the need to pace himself. Jecht made sure to give him a wide berth; Auron looked absolutely murderous.

Most of the fiends were the sort that went down easily with a few swordstrokes; soon enough, though, they encountered a different type, one of the amorphous blobs known colloquially as flans. Auron knew full well that a couple of fire spells would allow Braska to take the fiend down with much less effort than either he or Jecht would require, but he continued to insist that the summoner stay away from battle, barking orders at Jecht with increasing desperation as the two of them took it in turns to deliver blows that had very little effect. After the flan was dealt with, both Auron and Jecht were in a bad way; it had sent icy shots towards them several times, and they were both feeling lightheaded, leaning on their swords to stay upright.

“Braska,” Jecht whined; for once, he was feeling bad enough not to downplay his injuries. “I need some magic – gimme a spell –”

Braska frowned, making no move to approach him. Both Jecht and Auron looked like they were about to pass out, in his estimation; Auron was unusually pale, and Jecht was clutching his forehead with his unarmoured hand, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He found it difficult even to look at them when they were both in such difficulty, but Braska knew casting magic could weaken him, and Auron had sworn he wouldn’t need to get involved. And after Auron’s display at the travel agency, Braska thought, he owed Braska the decency of keeping his promises.

“No, Jecht,” Auron grunted, once he had gathered his wits enough to speak. “We have potions. Use them.” He began to search around in his belongings for a few; it was difficult when he felt as if he was on the verge of losing consciousness. Eventually, he extracted several, tossed half of them in Jecht’s direction and swallowed the rest himself, soon feeling normal again. He straightened up as Jecht did the same.

“OK, guys, we’re gonna have to talk about resource management,” Jecht complained, “because yours is shit. We just used up, like, half our potion supply, but if Braska just did some lightning on that thing –”

“Fire,” Auron corrected him; Jecht’s knowledge of elemental weaknesses was still minimal. “No, Jecht, this is non-negotiable. We’re handling this ourselves today – I made sure we have plenty of potions. Lord Braska is saving his strength for the fayth.”

“That’s dumb,” said Jecht. “Braska, you could’ve just done one little fire and then you wouldn’t even have to white magic us anyway. One spell ain’t much, right?”

“No,” said Auron again. “I told you, no. What makes this so hard to understand? Why are you so determined to call every single one of my decisions into question?”

“Auron,” said Braska, before Jecht could respond. “Please – both of you.” Having gone from seeing both his guardians almost knocked out by the fiend to witnessing another of their increasingly vicious arguments, he was starting to feel distressed again. The thought that he could indeed have stepped in to prevent their discomfort was making him progressively more convinced that he was handling everything terribly. “Please,” he said again, unsure what he could do but beg. “Just stop fighting, will you?”

Auron’s heart sank; Braska looked as if he was about to cry again, and Auron knew it was at least partly his fault. He sheathed his sword and walked on, trying to put aside his anger. He had always been short-tempered, but the warrior monks had practised stoicism, and he had usually succeeded, when he had to, in ignoring worldly cares and letting his faith be a guide. But after his recent experiences, that seemed more difficult. He was irritable and on edge more often than not these days, concerned about the progress of the pilgrimage for multiple reasons. The days when he had been able to persuade himself to rise above such minor annoyances seemed long gone.

They rounded a corner in the path, and came to the shore of the lake. It had been frozen over for hundreds of years; the sheet of ice on its surface was rumoured to be several feet thick. Travellers normally walked straight across the middle; the chance of anything but an extremely strong force breaking the ice was minimal.

Auron, who had been taking the lead in an attempt to forget Jecht was with him, came to the edge of the lake first. He looked across to the opposite shore, taking in the expanse they would have to cross; then, suddenly and unexpectedly, he found himself thinking about the body of water that lay beneath the ice; and then, just as suddenly, he felt sharp, irregular pains across his chest, his heart beating a frantic counterrhythm against each constriction. His vision blurred; he staggered back, almost losing his balance, and stumbled into Jecht, who had approached from behind.

“Hey, watch it,” Jecht said angrily, shoving Auron away. Auron might have ordinarily retaliated in kind, but he was too disorientated; all the energy he could muster was focused on trying to stay standing. He turned away from the lake as his vision sharpened and his heartbeat slowed; the sense of panic, of something being terribly and indescribably wrong, gradually ebbed away.

“We’ll go around,” he said breathlessly. “Instead of crossing the lake directly – we’ll stay on the shore.” He searched his mind for an excuse. “Fewer fiends, I think.”

“Yeah, but the path’s longer,” Jecht pointed out, not unreasonably.

Braska tried to brace himself: he could see yet another argument brewing, and he didn’t know whether he would be able to bear it. Auron knew that more squabbling would upset him, he thought, and Jecht had been told enough times by now too. He really didn’t want things to turn sour yet again; it would be one altercation too many.

“You go that way if you want,” said Auron, “but I won’t be joining you.”

He turned to walk along the lakeshore; the others fell into step behind him after a moment’s pause. Normally, Auron would have been stubborn enough to try talking Jecht around, as unkindly as necessary; he was accustomed to his decisions being the correct ones, and was usually prepared to defend them at great length. On this occasion, he was just determined to move away from the edge of the lake as soon as possible. He walked on, trying to avoid looking to the side and seeing the sheet of ice again; his reaction to it had been deeply unsettling.

They fought more fiends on the rest of the journey; the flans they encountered caused just as much trouble as the first had. Braska continued to hang back, looking on gravely as his guardians slowly took them down, almost went down themselves, and carefully healed their injuries using potions. Jecht had ceased to complain about it, although he still thought the whole process incredibly inefficient. He had been working through his beers on the journey, and by now was mellow enough not to be particularly bothered about challenging Auron’s decisions.

Eventually, they arrived at the temple. It was an impressive structure, built to look as if it was floating in midair in the middle of a huge, icy grotto, but in reality anchored to the ground far below by large and ancient ice crystals, more of which surrounded the temple roof and blocked out much of the natural light. A narrow path snaked towards the building; unlike the temple itself, the path truly was suspended in the air, as improbable as it seemed. Magic was clearly at play in the temple’s construction, and it was difficult to discern the exact boundary between the man-made and the natural. Each of the temples of Spira had its eccentricities, although this one was far more striking than the temple of Bahamut in Bevelle that had been the first stop on Braska’s journey. That temple was in the middle of the city, and hardly stood out against the surrounding buildings; this one was the only such structure for miles around, and that fact alone made it remarkable.

They climbed the front steps and entered, passing through the elaborate double doors that opened into the temple atrium. Inside, the statues and decorations resembled those of any other temple of Yevon; pendants inscribed with the holy alphabet adorned the walls, spelling out invocations to the fayth. Groups of monks and nuns stood around, talking quietly or making their oblations. In the centre, a staircase led to a second pair of doors; a priest stood guard at the top of the steps. It was this man who would require Braska to present himself, and who would allow the summoner and his guardians to pass through the doors to reach the fayth’s chamber.

A blue sphere stood by the temple entrance, coming to about waist height. It was one of the waymarkers that summoners and other pilgrims used to record their progress. They were a largely unexplained blend of magic and machina, bathed in an ethereal glow: the kind of thing that would have been banned several times over by Yevon, had they not been deemed essential in carrying out the teachings. With the signals sent from such devices, the high priests could track the progress of summoners as they journeyed around Spira – whether those journeys ever came to anything was another matter.

Braska bent to touch the sphere, watching as the blue glow briefly enveloped his hand. No doubt the authorities in Bevelle would be displeased at the news that he had made it even this far; it gave him a perverse thrill of satisfaction to think it. He was still feeling fretful, especially now that his trial was near; but being in the temple made him determined to see the task through, and just as it had been earlier in the morning, that was enough to ensure he carried on.

Jecht, meanwhile, had realised something: somebody in the depths of the temple was singing a song, and it was the same tune that he habitually got stuck in his head – the same one Auron had scolded him for humming to himself the previous day. “The Hymn,” he murmured, remembering what Auron had called it. It was the first time he’d heard it being sung by another person; he’d always assumed he must have made it up of his own accord.

“Coming back to you, is it?” Auron hissed.

Jecht shrugged; he didn’t want to admit that he was confused. “So what if it is?” he said.

Rolling his eyes contemptuously, Auron slipped off to pray, kneeling at the foot of the nearest statue. He closed his eyes and reflected reluctantly on the morning’s events. His mind was unsettled; his continued disagreements with Jecht had made him act rashly and unkindly, and Braska had suffered because of it. That was the last thing Auron wanted. Moreover, his experience at the shore of the frozen lake had been disconcerting to say the least. All he needed was a sign of some kind, some guidance from the fayth on how he might assuage his troubled thoughts.

Jecht glanced at Auron’s crouched form, trying to forget about the odd experience with the Hymn. It was unusual, he thought, to see his fellow guardian so still and reverent. He tore his gaze away with a little reluctance and took in the rest of the scene, swigging contemplatively from his beer bottle.

“You should put that away while we’re in here,” said Braska, frowning. “This is a holy place.”

“Yeah?” said Jecht without much interest.

“Yes,” Braska said. “I don’t normally insist on following those parts of the teachings – goodness knows they’re full of nonsense. But there are some things where it’s just a matter of decorum. You shouldn’t be drinking in a temple: it’s bad manners.”

Jecht was about to argue, but Braska’s voice was a little hoarse and his eyes glistened slightly, so he decided it was preferable to stop the conversation as soon as possible, even if that did mean having to follow orders. “Fine,” he said. “I’ll behave, I promise.”

“Thank you,” Braska murmured.

Jecht put his beer bottle away and looked for a way to distract himself, ending up peering at the three large statues that flanked the central staircase. Casting an eye over their appearance, he tried to work out who the people depicted could be, but had little luck when none of them resembled each anyone he had met in Spira so far.

He tried to think about something else, but the only thought that seemed to occur to him was how much he wished he could go back to his drinking. He tried looking down at Auron briefly, but found the sight of his motionless, prostrate form too irritating, so he pretended to concentrate on the statues for a little longer before sneaking another look towards Braska, whose condition fortunately seemed not to have deteriorated.

“Who’re these guys?” he asked.

“The High Summoners,” Braska explained quietly. “The people who have defeated Sin before – Yevonites revere them, and rightly so.” He gestured at the leftmost statue; it depicted a man clad in a strangely boxy robe, his head mostly hidden by an odd triangular hat. “This is Lord Gandof. He became the first High Summoner, four hundred years ago. He’s a bit of a mystery, in fact – there are some legends about his Final Summoning, and he’s supposed to have done all sorts of good things for Spira, but we don’t know much about who he was as a person.”

Braska wasn’t accustomed to giving long explanations like this – that was normally Auron’s department – but it helped him focus on what lay ahead. He went on, pointing out the second statue, a bearded man wearing a large cloak. “Lord Ohalland. He was a blitzball player, in fact. He defeated Sin around two hundred years after Lord Gandof did. And that one –” He indicated the third statue, a slighter figure whose eyes were hidden by a veil; it was at the foot of this statue that Auron was pressing himself to the ground. “Lady Yocun. The most recent High Summoner – nearly a hundred years ago now. Her triumph is well documented.”

“Huh,” said Jecht, finding the new information difficult to make sense of. “You mean – these are the only people that’ve managed to beat Sin? In – how long did you say? Four hundred years?”

Braska shook his head. “A thousand, nearly.”

“And –” Jecht blinked, trying to understand. “Wait, you mean Sin comes back? We gotta go all this way, go in all the temples and everythin’, and it just comes back?” His voice had risen to an indignant squawk; a few of the priests and nuns had turned around, casting looks of displeasure in his direction.

“Er,” said Braska, “yes, but –” He was at a loss for words. It was true: Sin always had returned, eventually, after each High Summoner defeated it. But he was convinced it was worth it, to give Spira a few years of respite; even if Sin did come back, there was that precious time in between when the people could go about their lives without fear. It was worth the exchange.

He was still hesitating, searching his muddled thoughts for something that might convince Jecht of how important the pilgrimage was, when Auron suddenly stood, turning to face his companions.

“There’s always a chance of defeating Sin for good,” he said, quietly and solemnly. “The teachings say that if a High Summoner defeats Sin at a time when the people of Spira are deemed to have atoned for their transgressions, then Sin will leave us in peace – forever. So we have to keep trying. It’s the one thing that sustains us.” He looked at Braska, and Braska found himself nodding with relief.

“Hope,” said Auron, his gaze still fixed on Braska. “That’s what makes this worth it. Hope that we can rid Spira of this torment for good. Isn’t that right, my lord?”

“Yes,” Braska breathed. “That’s it. Hope.” It was a word the two of them had exchanged countless times in their preparation for the pilgrimage: when Braska had been feeling especially low, or struggling with his training, and later, when Auron had been the one to suffer. Through those trying times, they had kept that hope as a talisman, reminding each other of the importance of their journey. Hope that the pilgrimage would end in success – and, in Auron’s case, hope that he would find a way to alter that ending.

Jecht grimaced; it was disturbing to think about the fact that Sin had been around for so long. Spira had already seemed a much more sombre place than Zanarkand even when he first arrived, and gradually learning more about the perilous existence of its people was merely making him wish even more fervently that he would be able to leave soon. “You guys are messed up,” he muttered.

Braska forced out a rueful chuckle. “Indeed we are,” he said. “But we can’t mope around here all day.” He looked at the staircase and tried to ignore his mounting feeling of dread. “We should go inside,” he murmured.

“Sir, are you sure?” Auron asked. “You don’t want to rest?”

“I’m as prepared as I can be,” Braska assured him. “No use putting this off.” He made a valiant attempt at a smile, and ascended the steps to face the priest who stood at the top.

“Good morning,” he said, returning the man’s deep Yevonite bow with a small nod. “I am a summoner, by the name of Braska. I have already gained the æon from Bahamut’s temple in Bevelle. And these are my guardians.” He indicated Auron and Jecht behind him.

The priest nodded, looking carefully at each of them in turn. His gaze settled on Auron; he frowned, and then said slowly, “Aren’t you that monk –”

“No,” said Braska immediately; at the same time, Auron said, “Someone else.”

“Oh,” said the priest, a little confused; he nonetheless waved them on. “May Yevon be with you.”

Braska knew, on the contrary, that Yevon was against him, but he passed through the door without further complaint. His guardians followed, finding themselves at one end of an ice-covered corridor. Another door marked the way onward, but between the two, the floor dropped out entirely. The only way they could go was down a slope that ran off to one side.

They made their way down, into a cavernous underground chamber. Pillars and pedestals stood around; small glowing spheres were set into some of them. This was the Cloister of Trials, the puzzle that blocked the way to the fayth at each temple with the aim of making sure summoners and their guardians had sufficiently sharp minds before they were permitted to continue. The reason for this requirement had never been elucidated during Braska’s training as a priest, nor, much later, as a summoner; neither was there anything about it in the teachings. It was one of the many unexplained mysteries of Yevon.

The Trials of Bevelle had been complex, with a series of moving platforms that had left Auron and Braska back at the start of the path more than once after they had made a wrong decision. Auron had tried to handle as much of the puzzle as he could by himself, so that Braska could concentrate on preparing his mind to commune with the fayth, but it had been a slow and complex process. Braska had made a few contributions where something leapt out at him, but he had been increasingly distracted as time had gone on, and Auron had had to struggle through most of the exercise alone. It had taken a long time, and both had been tense and irritable by the end.

This time, Braska thought, at least Jecht might be able to contribute and give Auron some help. He watched as his guardians headed towards the first sphere, and Auron reached out and extracted it from the cavity it rested in.

“OK,” said Jecht, “what the hell is this?”

“The Cloister of Trials,” Auron told him. “It’s a sort of puzzle that we have to complete before we can move ahead. We’ll need to use these spheres to activate the switches.” He looked around, and noticed a small nearby pedestal with a round slot on its side. “This looks promising,” he announced, striding forward to the pedestal and placing the sphere into it. Above the pedestal, a glyph appeared, rotating slowly in midair.

“Freaky,” Jecht remarked. “Now what?”

“It might move,” said Auron dubiously, and he gave the pedestal an experimental push. It slid along the ground, coming to a stop when it collided with a large icicle growing from the floor.

Auron frowned; nothing seemed to have happened beyond the rather dramatic shattering of the icicle. While he was contemplating what to do next, Jecht moved forward and gave the pedestal another push in a different direction, sending it into a second one. This time, when the ice broke, it revealed a ramp that led to a lower level, and the pedestal continued to slide along, travelling smoothly down until it was out of sight.

“I get it!” Jecht crowed, charging down the ramp after the pedestal.

The others followed more slowly. Auron and Jecht experimented with the spheres, inserting them into the various slots that presented themselves; Auron had had some practice at this in Bevelle, but he was well matched by Jecht, who turned out to have a natural aptitude for the task. Nearly every time it was necessary to take one of the spheres and move it into another slot, the two of them seemed to have different opinions on what move to make; with a fair amount of trial and error, though, and a lot more bickering, they eventually succeeded in figuring out most of the puzzle, and after some time, all that remained was the illumination of a single pillar, which would lock the final section of the path into place and allow them to move on.

“Right,” said Auron wearily. “I suppose we take one of the green spheres from down here, then, and put it into the last pillar upstairs.”

Jecht scowled at him. “The green spheres? What, are you dumb? The green ones ain’t gonna light up the pillars. There’s another white one in the wall up there, right? We need to use that one.”

“No, I don’t think so,” said Auron. “I don’t think we left one up there.”

“We definitely did,” said Jecht, “a hundred percent.” He led the way up the ramp; sure enough, there was a sphere in the back wall, glowing invitingly.

“I don’t think we’re supposed to take this one out, though,” said Auron. “It’ll stop us going back down, won’t it?”

“And why do we gotta do that?” said Jecht, exasperated. “This is the last bit of the path, right – no point going downstairs now anyway.”

“It just seems like a bit of a risk,” said Auron through gritted teeth. “We might need access to the rest of the spheres.”

“Bullshit,” said Jecht. He headed towards the wall, ready to extract the sphere from its slot.

“Wait,” said Auron, raising a hand to his head as he tried to concentrate. Jecht’s contrariness had hardly helped him keep track of which spheres were where. The Cloister of Trials here was simpler than the one in Bevelle, but in Auron’s estimation, the experience in Macalania had been notably less pleasant. He attempted to focus on their progress so far: if the sphere up here was white and the ones downstairs were green, he thought, that meant …

Braska, who had previously declined to contribute, cleared his throat cautiously. “Sorry, Auron,” he said, “but I think Jecht’s right. It looks as if only the white spheres will operate the pillars, if I’ve understood this correctly.”

Auron was still trying to understand the state of play; Jecht grinned, plucked the sphere from its cavity in the wall, and darted over to the pillar, where he inserted it. The pillar lit up; he pumped his fist in triumph. “Oh yeah!” he exclaimed. “The great Jecht does it again! Suck on that, Auron!”

“Jecht,” said Braska warningly, giving Auron’s bare arm a brief touch that he hoped would convey some sympathy. Auron shook his head, trying not to be too annoyed by his fellow guardian’s behaviour; Braska had to be his priority, he reminded himself. His quiet moment of prayer in the temple atrium had helped him remember that.

He stayed by Braska’s side as they ascended the ramp and proceeded along the newly made path, observing him closely. Braska seemed subdued, he thought, but certainly better than he had been first thing in the morning. Despite everything that had happened on the journey, the situation could have been worse.

They entered the small antechamber that led to the chamber of the fayth. “Well, I think this is it,” said Braska, his voice faltering a little. “I hope I’m not too long.”

“You can take as long as you need,” Auron assured him. “I’m with you, sir – I’ll be right here.”

“Thank you,” Braska whispered, and he reluctantly turned away and headed on through the heavy door at the other side of the room.

5. Thanks For Your Concern

After Braska disappeared through the door that led to the fayth’s chamber, there was a long silence. “What do we do now?” said Jecht eventually.

“We wait,” Auron replied.

Jecht snorted. “Didn’t take you for the waitin’ type.”

Auron acknowledged the remark with a brief raise of the eyebrows. Jecht was right – he had never been patient – but he would wait all day for Braska if he had to.

Jecht heaved out a long, theatrical sigh, and sat cross-legged on the floor, revealing the dirty, rough soles of his bare feet to Auron, who altered the angle of his stance minutely so as not to have to look at them. “So what’s he doin’ in there?” Jecht asked.

“Praying to the fayth,” Auron replied. “That’s the point of the summoner’s pilgrimage: summoners pray to the fayth of each temple, and if they’re deemed worthy, they can receive the æon.”

“Wait, wait, slow down,” said Jecht. “What’s an æon? No, actually, go back to the fayth – what’s that?”

Auron sat down on the steps; they would probably be there a while after all, he thought. “The fayth are the guardian spirits of Spira,” he explained. “The deities of Yevon, in essence. Temples are built over places where the fayth made their sacrifice.”

“Sacrifice?” said Jecht.

“Yes. Each fayth was once a person who chose to die,” said Auron. “In times of war, or torment from Sin – there were those who decided the best thing to do would be to give their own lives to protect the people. With their strength, they can sustain the æon, and then the æon is used by the summoner.”

Jecht’s blank expression was encouragement enough to go on. “Æons are – they’re a bit like fiends, I suppose, but bigger and more powerful. Once a summoner gains the trust of one of the fayth, that fayth allows the summoner to call on their æon. That’s what Lord Braska is doing in there right now – attempting to convince the fayth of this temple that he’s worthy. If he succeeds, he’ll be able to summon the æon in the future.”

“And if not?” Jecht prompted him.

It was a very real possibility; a lot of summoners’ pilgrimages ended because of the premature death or serious injury of a traveller, but it was just as common for the fayth of a given temple to refuse to surrender their æon to those who came asking for it. Nonetheless, Auron hesitated before responding. He and Braska had never properly discussed what would happen if they were forced to abort the journey for such a reason. It would destroy Braska, he knew, if one of the fayth were to turn him back.

“Then he’ll have to abandon his pilgrimage,” he murmured.

Jecht grimaced. “Well, that’d be a bummer. Dunno how I’d get back to Zanarkand in that case – maybe I’d find another summoner to take me. Are there lots of ’em?”

“Usually five to ten on the go,” Auron informed him. “Probably more like ten now, since the weather’s getting better.”

“And …” Jecht frowned. “Only three of ’em ever beat Sin?”

“What’s your point?” Auron asked, knowing full well what it was.

“We ain’t gonna get to Zanarkand, are we?” said Jecht.

Auron folded his arms. “Jecht, if you’re so desperate to make it to Zanarkand, you know what you have to do – be an attentive guardian. If Lord Braska doesn’t manage to win the fayth’s trust, that’s out of our hands. But the rest is our responsibility. We need to support him.”

Jecht grunted in response.

“Our lives should be dedicated to his protection,” Auron added, just for the pleasure of seeing Jecht squirm. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe what he was saying: he would willingly risk his life for the sake of Braska’s wellbeing, but he could tell Jecht wasn’t used to putting others’ needs before his own.

“I get it,” Jecht said peevishly; Auron responded with a small snort of amusement.

They were silent for a while, and then Jecht said, “Why’d you change your mind, anyway?”

“What do you mean?” said Auron.

“If I asked questions before,” said Jecht, “you never gave me a real answer. This mean you finally believe I’m from Zanarkand?”

Auron contemplated the question: Jecht was close to the mark, but not quite there. It had been Auron’s prayer at the foot of Lady Yocun’s statue that had shown him the way forward: tense and troubled, he had found that a few minutes’ quiet reflection had been enough to allow him to think about the situation more calmly. All he had managed to do with his constant suspicion of Jecht was make things more difficult for Braska, and that was the last thing he wanted.

“I still think the idea of someone actually coming from Zanarkand is ludicrous,” he explained carefully, “but I am starting to think you really are unfamiliar with Yevon. I thought you were doing it to annoy me, but – you really don’t know anything. There’s no way anyone would pretend to be that ignorant – it would just make them look stupid.”

“Gee, thanks,” said Jecht. “And I thought you were finally showin’ me some respect, but turns out you’re still a dick.”

“Takes one to know one,” Auron muttered.

“Whatever.”

They sat in silence for some time longer, and then Jecht groaned loudly. “Oh man, I’m fed up of waitin’,” he complained.

“Get used to it,” said Auron unsympathetically.

“How many more times do we gotta do this?” said Jecht.

“Four,” Auron replied. “The temples of Djose, Kilika and Besaid, and then the Final Æon in Zanarkand.”

“Final Æon, huh?” Jecht echoed. “Sounds fancy.”

Auron didn’t respond. Jecht’s typically vapid response had led him to a sudden realisation: if Jecht really didn’t know about any of this, he thought, then he would have no idea of the significance of the Final Summoning. He was totally ignorant of the consequences of a successful pilgrimage.

“Why’s he doin’ it, anyway?” Jecht went on. “How do the æons help him beat Sin?”

“They don’t,” said Auron. “It’s only the Final Æon that he’ll have to use against Sin. But he needs to master the rest of them first. They’re extremely powerful – he can’t just go straight to the fayth of the Final Æon and expect to win their trust immediately. Each fayth lends him a little more strength, and then once he gets to Zanarkand he should be ready for the last one.”

“But it could turn him away, like any of the others, right,” Jecht surmised.

“That’s true,” said Auron. “Although I suppose it won’t matter to you,” he added contemptuously. “You’ll be home by then.”

“You got it,” said Jecht coolly, trying to mask the sting he felt from Auron’s words. Auron was right, to some extent: getting to Zanarkand was the most important aim in Jecht’s mind. But that didn’t mean he didn’t care about Braska’s goal, at least a little. It was clear that Braska was committed to his task; and Sin, Jecht could tell, was obviously a serious concern for the Spiran people. He wasn’t planning to get too hung up on it, but he had nothing against Braska and therefore had no reason not to hope he would succeed. If Auron was the summoner, things might have been different.

They exchanged few words after that.

Braska, meanwhile, had left the antechamber and found himself rather disconcerted that it led not directly to the chamber of the fayth, as he had expected, but back outside. There, another long and icy path lay before him. Thankful for the Al Bhed’s generosity, he carefully made his way down the slope – the journey seemed longer without his guardians’ company, fractious as their relationship was. At last, he arrived at the other end, finding a door that took him inside once again; after that, he was met with a small chamber whose main feature was a colourful and otherworldly carving set into the floor in front of him. This was the stone in which the fayth had been preserved, and from which their spirit would rise.

He carefully assumed a kneeling position, laying his staff on the floor in front of him. When he had done the same in Bevelle in order to gain his first æon, it had been the first time he had prayed in at least seven years; but this was one of the few occasions where, in his opinion, praying was merited. He rested his elbows on his knees and his chin on his clasped hands, trying to remain calm.

Time passed, and then he heard a voice.

“Stand, summoner. Let me see you.”

He got to his feet; his knees ached. He suspected he had been on the ground for a good while, although after the first few minutes, the exact nature of the passage of time had begun to elude him. As he lifted his head and beheld the ghostly figure in front of him, taking in her voluminous, colourful garments, he realised: she had been a member of the clergy, just like he once had.

“My lady,” he said reverently.

He could see her eyes roving over him, taking in his appearance; but she said nothing. “I am Braska,” he began.

“Yes,” she replied. “Braska. I know you; I can see you. No need to speak your thoughts – they are no secret to me.”

He realised, then, that she was not merely looking him over, but somehow reading inside him, seeking to understand him without the need for him to speak himself. Bahamut’s fayth had done the same, he recalled, back in Bevelle. This time, because the fayth was a grown woman and not a child, the experience of it seemed very different. He was grateful that her body was so thoroughly covered up; it made it easier to ignore the strange intimacy of the act. If she had dressed in a way that made her features more obvious, he found himself thinking, he would no doubt have been reminded of Girl.

The thought of it, of course, was enough to make him think of her anyway, and he felt his jaw clench as the fayth studied him.

“Such sorrow,” she said. “So few years. Sin has wronged you, summoner – but Yevon has been still more unkind.”

Braska was glad he didn’t need to speak out loud – her words were enough to bring him close to tears again. He closed his eyes and tried to redirect his thoughts, breathing deeply in and out as he focused on his simple determination to obtain the æon and complete the pilgrimage.

“Your will is strong,” the fayth said in response. “But I must see, summoner. Show me what is in your heart, and then I shall show you mine.”

He understood – again, Bahamut’s fayth had used the same technique. The child had reached out to him with a ghostly hand, stretching upwards to take his own, and as soon as they had made contact, his mind had begun to flood with memories: his own memories, unsettling in their vividness. He had come to understand that the fayth was searching inside him, seeking those moments that would reveal the true reasons for his decision to follow the summoner’s path. That had been what had exhausted him the most during the encounter: having to relive his own life, watching all the trials he had faced, in so much detail that it felt as if he was suffering anew.

Braska stepped forward; the fayth had already extended both her hands towards his own. He let her take them; she drew them together in a gesture of prayer, and then it began.

He was a young boy again, standing obediently by as the great rituals of Yevon were conducted. He was a teenager, aiding the senior priests at one of Bevelle’s minor temples; then, he was a young man, lodging with the Al Bhed in the city they called Home, sharing warm pastries with Girl and her brother. He was teaching those who did not reject him outright about the doctrines of Yevon, and his friend Rin was the only one listening; he was walking on the shore with the Al Bhed elders, learning about machina that even Bevelle men would never have dreamt of; he was an outcast, worried but reasonably content, at home with Girl and an unfathomably tiny Yuna. He was practising black magic; he was distraught, utterly bereft, and struggling through paperwork that was so arcane it seemed to be in a foreign language, and they had taken Yuna away from him; he was rediscovering his purpose in Bevelle. He was distressed, but determined, working through each day with ever-increasing certainty about what he would do. He was standing in the city sun with Auron, doing his best to listen to his friend animatedly complain about the maesters’ most recent decree. He was staggering out of the chamber of the fayth, a summoner at last, and Auron’s strong hands were steadying him.

The memories ended; Braska came back to himself with a start, and found that he had sunk to his knees, his hands still holding onto the fayth, now above his head, as if his wrists had been tied to a post. His head was pounding; the experience of reliving his whole life in such a short time had been just as unpleasant as it was in Bevelle. He stayed there, kneeling, anchored by the fayth’s grip as he fought the urge to collapse.

“You have great passion, summoner,” the fayth murmured.

The sound of her voice, gentle though it was, made Braska’s head hurt even more; he couldn’t prevent himself from releasing a brief moan, swaying on the spot as the fayth continued to grip his hands. He was dimly aware of her bending forward, leaning close, and then, suddenly, the images returned.

It was her life he was witnessing now; a life lived hundreds of years ago, but the struggles the people had faced back then were fundamentally the same. He could understand what it was like to have been the priestess that this fayth once was: he saw through her eyes.

He knew of nothing but love: love for Spira, and for the people of the ice fields especially. They had been visited by Sin, again and again, and they deserved better; they deserved something that lasted longer, something that would allow them to rest, just for a while.

He watched as her family were taken, one by one, their blood soaking into the snow as bells tolled incessantly for the dead. He watched as she performed the rituals, protecting the people even when her own grief was new and raw. He saw what nobody at the time had seen: how, when the ceremonies ended for the evening and the villagers returned to their homes, she let her strength crumble and broke down, weeping for her lost husband and children. He watched as she finally stepped up to offer her soul, and he understood: they were not so different.

The images ended abruptly; Braska was back in the fayth’s chamber, shaking with distress, confused by the two lifetimes he had witnessed. It was difficult, by this point, to distinguish what had happened in his own life from what had happened in hers. He looked up towards her, trying to maintain eye contact despite the pain clouding his vision.

She let go of his hands; that was all it took for him to slump to the floor, his forearms smarting as they made contact with the ground through the sleeves of his robe. It was a struggle not to lose consciousness; but he held on, scrabbling against the floor with his fingertips in an attempt to hold onto something that was real and solid, and not an awful memory long repressed. He felt the fayth’s careful touch against his headdress; she had bent over his prone form and was leaning close.

“Summoner,” she said, “you have much to learn. There is still weakness within you – you must be ready to cast that weakness out, and face the trials ahead.”

Braska could only whimper in response, pressing his face into the hard, cold ground.

“But you are passionate,” she murmured. “You have love, and that is all I ask. I grant you my æon – Shiva is her name. Only a little of her strength – you are not yet ready for more. But she will help you in all that she can.”

She stood, moving away from Braska; he felt her touch at the back of his neck recede.

“Choose wisely, summoner,” the fayth said as she faded away; but Braska heard nothing. He had passed out at last, and lay still and silent on the ground, alone.

A few minutes passed; Braska drifted back into consciousness, and hauled himself into a kneeling position, gasping from the effort. His head was still throbbing; his arms ached, having borne the impact from his fall to the ground after the fayth had let go of him. He massaged them slowly in an attempt to ease the pain; a simple Cure spell would have done the job, but he was in no state to be casting magic.

The images of the fayth’s life and her sacrifice were still in his mind, although he was finding it easier to separate them from his own memories with each passing second: they were starting to seem more like scenes he might have seen in a sphere, or read about in a novel. Remembering his own struggles was nonetheless deeply unpleasant, and it was hard for him to decide which set of visions to dwell on.

He located his staff and used it as an aid in clambering to his feet. Standing, he felt lightheaded again, and pressed a hand to his forehead to soothe himself; then, once he felt able to walk, he made his slow way towards the exit. The journey back up the icy slope did nothing to make him feel better; he shuffled forward at a snail’s pace, reminding himself that every step would bring him closer to a soothing potion and the chance to rest. Everything ached, but he gritted his teeth and forced himself to continue, feeling more and more sure that he was about to faint again.

Auron and Jecht were both seated; they hadn’t spoken for a long time, beyond a few muttered complaints from Jecht about how bored he was. Auron had almost fallen asleep, but as soon as he heard the door to the fayth’s chamber opening, he leapt to his feet.

Braska stood at the top of the short set of stairs, his eyes half-lidded; Auron hurried to his side, vaulting the steps two at a time. As he approached Braska, he threw an arm around his back to support him; Braska leant into the contact, relief evident on his sweat-drenched face.

“Thank you, Auron,” he mumbled. “It was difficult, but – the fayth has accepted me.”

“Well done, my lord,” Auron murmured, and then turned to Jecht, who had stood and was staring at Braska in disbelief. “Jecht,” he said. “Come up here and help me.”

Jecht found himself rooted to the spot; the sight of Braska looking this awful was too horrifying. Braska had already shown weakness that, in Jecht’s opinion, was unbecoming of a man; seeing him as vulnerable as this was something he found absolutely repulsive. The thought that he might have to care for Braska in the way Auron was doing, hold him gently and ease his pain – the idea of it was disgusting. He cast a glance at the exit, looked briefly back at Auron, and then made up his mind: it was time to get out of there. He bolted.

“What in the names of all the fayth,” Auron muttered. “Damn you, Jecht!” he yelled, losing his grip on Braska a little. Braska stumbled slightly.

“Auron,” he said, “now is not the time –”

“Is it ever the time?” Auron snapped.

“Please, Auron,” said Braska, and the weakness in his voice reminded Auron of the task at hand.

“Of course, my lord,” he said, suddenly chastised, and he guided Braska down the steps, helping him sit when they reached the bottom. Braska leant against Auron’s shoulder, pressing one hand to his forehead, and tried his very hardest not to faint again as Auron searched his possessions for a potion, eventually producing one and handing it over.

Braska drank it down as quickly as he could; it did little for the headache, but his arms stung less at least. He took out his handkerchief to clumsily wipe the sweat from his face; Auron, meanwhile, continued looking through his own belongings in search of some ether. It was a liquid that alleviated magic-related pains and tiredness; bottles were in short supply, and it was common practice to keep them for emergencies, but this situation was deserving enough, in Auron’s opinion.

He located one at last and passed it to Braska; Braska took it with an exhausted nod of thanks, gulped it down, and sat there forcing out deep breaths, his hands on his knees. The ether had helped; a few more moments, he thought, and he would have the strength to begin the journey back to the travel agency.

Auron lifted his bare hand to place it on top of Braska’s, hoping the contact might be some solace during his recovery; Braska made no reaction, and after a few seconds, Auron discreetly withdrew again, trying not to make anything of it. He waited, watching Braska silently until the latter finally raised his head and met Auron’s gaze with a weak smile.

“Thank you, Auron,” he said softly. “I’ll be all right – let’s go.”

“Are you sure, sir?” said Auron. “You don’t want to rest a bit longer?”

Braska shook his head. “No, I’m ready – and Jecht will be waiting.”

The mention of Jecht made Auron suddenly irritated again. “If he hasn’t run off,” he muttered.

“Auron,” Braska warned him.

“No, my lord,” Auron insisted, looking at the ground. “I’m sorry, but I must protest – he’s not fit to be your guardian! If he can’t even do this –” He gestured around the room, and then looked back at Braska, attempting to ignore his reproving expression. “Even if he really is from Zanarkand – that doesn’t mean he can’t help when you need it –”

“Auron!” said Braska again. “If you must discuss this, take it up with him later. I need you to support me now – and if Jecht won’t give me any help, it’s even more crucial that I get it from you.”

Auron nodded, suddenly mortified that he had let Braska down yet again. A little prayer and reflection had allowed him to be more patient with Jecht for a while, but now the effects of that seemed to have worn off. He was tense and irritable again – it had become his default state over the past few weeks.

“Help me stand, please,” Braska commanded him.

Auron supported him glumly, letting Braska take hold of his arm as they both slowly stood. Once they were up, Braska broke away from Auron, and walked forward without looking at him; Auron felt his heart sink even further. They made their way across the chamber, and then along the long, icy path that their completion of the Trials had set in place. Auron followed Braska closely, ready to support him if he needed it; Braska was determined not to rely on his guardian, but when they reached the top of the long staircase that led down into the temple’s main hall, he found himself reaching for Auron’s arm instinctively. There were a good twenty or thirty steps; the way these temples were constructed hardly made things easier for summoners whom an encounter with the fayth had weakened.

They advanced clumsily down the stairs; Braska almost tripped over his own feet several times, but Auron’s strong grip righted him on each occasion. Braska felt a twinge of guilt at the realisation that Auron was still supporting him so steadfastly after their last interaction – but he dismissed the thought. This was Auron’s duty, he reminded himself, and in his own state of exhaustion and lingering pain, he could hardly be expected to be polite.

Auron had expected to find Jecht at the bottom of the steps, but the familiar figure he was faced with was an only slightly less unpleasant sight. It was Perula, an older lady from Bevelle who had undertaken training to become a summoner contemporaneously with Braska. Wedded to Yevon’s precepts, she therefore despised Braska, and now Auron, quite openly. There had been rumours in Bevelle that she had been training as a summoner for at least a decade, and had been rebuffed several times by the fayth of Bahamut; whether or not that was true, she had finally received the æon about a month before Braska had, and had at long last been able to begin her pilgrimage, enlisting her two young nephews to act as guardians.

“Oh, the fallen summoner,” said Perula as Braska reached ground level. “I hear that’s what they’re calling you – how appropriate. So you’ve finished your training.”

“He’s more than finished his training,” said Auron, “he has two æons now –”

Perula turned her gaze slowly on him, and then back towards Braska. “And you’ve brought your pet.”

Braska tightened his grip on Auron’s arm, both to support himself and to warn his guardian not to rise to the bait, and said, “It is good to see you too, Lady Perula. Forgive me for not speaking to you at greater length – the fayth of this temple has weakened me. I am sure you will cope admirably.”

“I would hope to do better than you, at any rate,” she said, casting a significant glance at the way he clung to Auron before sweeping past them both with her guardians in her wake.

“How can you stand it?” Auron couldn’t help asking. Being treated so dismissively was something he found hard to bear; Braska, on the other hand, had been the target of such mockery for almost a decade.

“I got used to it,” said Braska. “You won’t have to.” After Auron’s disgrace, Braska had realised that his rehabilitation within Yevon would be yet another positive outcome of his pilgrimage. If Auron returned to Bevelle following a successful defeat of Sin, they would have no choice but to admit they had been wrong to cast him out. He had said as much to Auron several days before the pilgrimage began, and had been surprised by Auron’s somewhat muted response.

“Please don’t worry about it, Auron,” he added. “I’ve had worse. Let’s fetch Jecht and be on our way.”

Auron nodded tightly; he had just spotted Jecht sitting on the floor at the other side of the atrium, and was disappointed to see that he was once again swigging assiduously at one of his ever-present beer bottles.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Braska murmured, extricating himself from Auron’s grip and leaning against the wall with a grimace; Auron made his way over to Jecht. “You know you’re not supposed to drink in here,” he growled. “I heard Lord Braska telling you not to; you said you wouldn’t. You promised.”

“Did I?” said Jecht. “Ah, so what. You gonna yell at me again?”

Auron suppressed a sigh; Jecht’s slow speech and ungainly movements were a sure sign that he had consumed a large amount of beer indeed while Braska had been mustering the strength to leave the temple. “No,” he said through gritted teeth. “That doesn’t matter, anyway, it’s the fact that you just ran out of there – Jecht, why? Why are you determined to neglect your duties when it matters most?”

Even as addled as he was, Jecht knew perfectly well why he had fled – it was for the simple reason that the sight of Braska in that state had made him extremely uncomfortable – but he wasn’t about to admit that to Auron. “Dunno,” he slurred. “Just had enough, yeah? Wanted some fresh air, you know?”

Auron shook his head in exasperation; there was no point trying to get any sense out of Jecht when he was this far gone, he decided. “We’re going back to the travel agency now,” he said, slowly and clearly as if he was speaking to a child. “Can you stand?”

“Gimme a minute,” Jecht grunted; he struggled to his feet. Auron looked back at Braska, who was wincing as he levered himself away from the wall; it was going to be an arduous journey back, he realised. At least, he reflected, he knew which of them he would be helping if they were both to stumble.

Braska led the way as they walked back, setting a pace that suited him and was much too slow for his guardians, but Auron insisted that the summoner not overexert himself. Jecht complained a few times about the slow pace of their progress, and on each occasion he was rebuffed with a hissed “shut up” from Auron. Braska was barely aware of their muttered arguments; he found that he had so little energy that the mere act of trudging through the snow demanded most of his concentration. At the temple, he had felt better after taking the medicines Auron had retrieved for him, but now, having to return to the journey was rapidly exhausting him again, not helped by the cold and bitter climate. He needed to stop and rest frequently, pressing a hand to his brow in largely futile attempts at assuaging his persistent headache. Auron stayed back on these occasions, making sure Jecht didn’t approach Braska and disturb him. He would have preferred to draw close to Braska himself, ready to lend a hand if he needed support, but after their brief disagreement in the temple, he was unsure of whether Braska really wanted him nearby at the moment.

Auron had expected Jecht’s combat skills to be significantly worse than usual in his drunken state, and had resigned himself to the thought that he would have to deal with the fiends himself; but it turned out that Jecht was still of some use, and the intermittent battles actually sobered him up fairly quickly. The flans still caused trouble for both of them, though, and they made heavy use of potions during those fights, gulping them down between blasts of ice from the fiends.

They circled the lake, as they had done in the morning; Auron purposely avoided looking at it this time, and, regardless, still felt a slight tightness in his chest. He wondered, once again, what the cause of this sudden discomfort was; it was something he had never experienced before. Dwelling on it would make him feel worse, though, he could tell; so he looked away into the snowy hills and tried his best to think about other things.

When they were halfway around the lake, they were set upon by two flans; it was a formation they had faced before, and while it had been hard on Auron and Jecht, they had always managed to see to both of them. This time, however, things went differently; instead of distributing their attacks between the two guardians, the flans happened both to target Auron. Almost on his knees, he succeeded in taking one of them out, and was confident that he would be able to dispatch the other one with Jecht’s help, but he had miscalculated; close as it was to going down, the second fiend nonetheless struck Auron with a strong torrent of ice, and it was too much for him to bear. His sword fell from his hand, hitting the frozen path with a loud clatter, and at the same time, Auron sank to the ground himself.

Jecht had landed the final blow on the fiend at the same time, and it disintegrated into spiralling pyreflies; he paid little attention, staring down at Auron’s motionless form instead in horror.

“Phoenix down,” said Braska, moving forward with surprising alacrity. “With the potions – a gold feather, you’ll know it when you see it.” With some effort, he knelt beside Auron and took his hand; normally he would have used a spell to raise him to consciousness, but that would be impossible in his current state. He caressed the lifeless hand instead, looking down at Auron sorrowfully; it was horrible to see his guardian incapacitated like this. Braska knew how strong Auron was and how much force he had trained himself to withstand: the flans must have been very powerful.

Jecht located the phoenix down, holding it aloft bemusedly as he tried to guess how it might help; Braska all but snatched it from him, tearing the feather into tiny pieces and scattering them over Auron’s chest. Soon enough, Auron’s eyes opened, and he hauled himself into a sitting position with a grimace.

“A potion, please, Jecht,” said Braska sharply, and Jecht passed him one; Braska unstopped the bottle and handed it to Auron, and Auron drank it down. As soon as he had swallowed it, the agonised expression left his face; on coming to, he had felt almost as bad as when the fiend had been about to strike him down, but now he was feeling much more invigorated.

Braska reached for Auron’s hand again. “Are you all right?” he asked. “I’d have cast Life if I could, but –”

“I’m fine,” Auron assured him. “Nothing to worry about.”

“Life?” Jecht stammered, and the other two looked up at him. “You don’t mean – uh – Auron, you weren’t dead, were you?”

Auron smirked. “Just knocked out. But thanks for your concern.”

“Magic can do all sorts of things,” Braska added, “but it can’t bring back the deceased, alas.”

“Sure,” Jecht mumbled, trying to disguise his discomfort. He turned away as Braska helped Auron to his feet; he couldn’t deny that briefly believing the fiend might have actually killed Auron had disturbed him. As much as Auron got on his nerves, he considered, having him die didn’t seem like it would be very pleasant – and Braska would certainly be upset by it.

Braska idly brushed some snow off the sleeve of Auron’s robe, and then said, “If there are more flans, I’ll help. Jecht was right earlier – this is more trouble than it’s worth. I’m not up to white magic at the moment, I’m afraid, but I think I’m well enough to use fire.”

Auron shook his head. “Don’t exert yourself, my lord. We have plenty of phoenix down – it’ll be no trouble.”

“No, Auron, I insist,” said Braska, with gentle intensity. “I don’t like seeing you hurt like that, especially when it’s so easy to prevent. Just one fire spell when one of those flans comes up – that’ll be enough to take them down without you and Jecht having to make a fuss. I’m only sorry I didn’t do it earlier.”

“Thank you, Lord Braska,” said Auron quietly.

Braska was right: at the next attack, they found that each flan went down with just one hit from a fire spell. Jecht had just about enough tact not to crow about the fact that his suggestion that morning had turned out to be the more efficient one. In Braska’s weakened state, he found it required more exertion than usual to cast the spells, but he tried not to make too much of his discomfort. His headache was worsening again, but he supposed that was a fair price to pay for his guardians’ health.

Finally, they reached the travel agency; all three were aching and tired, but none more so than Braska, who asked the clerk for some more medicine and then went straight to his bed. Auron grabbed Jecht before he was able to enter their room as well. “Don’t disturb Lord Braska while he’s sleeping,” he said. “If you want to rest, find somewhere else to do it.”

Jecht shook him off with a scowl. “I ain’t gonna rest,” he said dismissively – he wasn’t about to admit to Auron that the idea sounded highly appealing. “Whatever, see you later.”

He stomped off; Auron returned to the reception area and sank into one of the chairs there. It had been a gruelling day, he reflected; the long walk, the fiend attacks, having to put up with Jecht, seeing Braska so discomforted by the fayth – and of course, his own adverse reaction to the lake. By this point, he was thoroughly exhausted. He arranged himself into as comfortable a position as he could, and was asleep not long afterwards.

Time passed; it was noticeably darker when Auron found himself being shaken awake by Jecht. “What?” he mumbled, half-conscious.

“I’m hungry,” said Jecht. “This place do dinner?”

Auron rubbed his eyes. “They’ll make you something if you ask. Or you can go into the village again, if you want a proper meal.”

That avenue was closed off to Jecht, who was aware that he was now persona non grata in Macalania village. He headed over to the reception desk instead to make enquiries, and returned a few minutes later with two steaming bowls. Auron, who had been close to falling asleep again, eyed the one Jecht set in front of him with suspicion.

“You can say thanks, you know,” said Jecht through a mouthful of food, sitting down opposite Auron.

Auron grunted in response, and began to consume the dinner Jecht had brought him. It was a pleasant surprise, he had to admit, that Jecht had thought to get a portion for him as well; not that he was going to say so out loud.

“Guess we should get some for Braska too,” Jecht pointed out after a while.

“He’s not always that hungry when he’s –” Auron began, and then he reconsidered. “Yes, I suppose so. I’ll take him some.” He stood up stiffly – sleeping in the chair hadn’t been entirely comfortable – and went over to the reception desk to get the bowl refilled before heading to their room.

“Sorry to disturb you, my lord,” he said as he walked in; “we just wondered if you’d like some dinner.”

Braska looked up slowly; he wasn’t at all hungry, but he knew Auron would make a fuss if he didn’t eat. “Thank you,” he said, sitting up and taking the bowl from him.

“How are you feeling?” Auron said.

Sighing, Braska gave no answer at first. “It’s not a pleasant experience,” he said eventually. “But it was no worse than Bevelle, at least. I knew what to expect this time – that helped a little.”

“That’s good,” said Auron, watching as Braska slowly consumed his food. He ate about half of it before carefully setting the spoon down in the bowl and placing it on the table beside the bed.

“I should take tonight’s sphere for Yuna before I fall asleep again,” he said, without much enthusiasm. “Where’s the recorder?”

“Jecht has it, I think,” said Auron. “He’s at reception; I can go and –”

“No, I’ll go out and do it,” Braska interrupted. “Better than lying here like an invalid – I wouldn’t want to worry her.” He swept the blanket out of his way and stood up, still a little unsteady on his feet; then he located his robe, which he had removed along with the Al Bhed vest before getting into bed, and slipped it back over the light shirt and trousers he wore underneath. Forgoing the breastplate and the single earring he normally wore, he nonetheless put his headdress on, and left the room without a backward glance, taking the vest with him so he could drop it off with the Al Bhed next door.

Auron stood there, looking down at the bed; the imprint of Braska’s body was still dimly visible in the mattress. Privately, he couldn’t help feeling a little envious: the bed was no doubt significantly more comfortable than both the chair he had had to sleep in and the mat where he would again be spending the night. He reached out to touch the blanket; it was just as soft as it looked, he discovered.

He considered. Braska surely wouldn’t mind, he thought, if he took advantage of the bed while it was unoccupied. Just five minutes’ quick rest might make him a little less sore. He removed his robe and boots, arranging them in a neat pile on the floor, and climbed into the bed, sighing contentedly at how cosy it was. Barely a few seconds later, he was asleep.

Braska had left the vest back with the Al Bhed, all of whom seemed thrilled to hear he had been successful at the temple; after making his excuses, he walked out to the reception and found Jecht there, also sleeping in the same place Auron had left him. The sound of Braska approaching was enough to wake Jecht, and he straightened up quickly, hoping Braska wouldn’t notice he’d been asleep.

“Good evening, Jecht,” said Braska, taking the seat opposite. “How are you doing?”

“Fine,” Jecht said defensively.

“Not too tired, I hope,” said Braska. “It was a strenuous day for all of us, I’m sure.” Jecht made no response, so he added, “You wouldn’t have the sphere recorder, would you?”

“Sure,” said Jecht, fishing around in his belongings and handing it over. “Oh – takin’ a sphere for Yuna?”

“That’s right,” said Braska.

“Great!” Jecht exclaimed. “Let me get in frame.” He dragged his chair across the floor until it was next to Braska’s; Braska winced at the unpleasant noise it made.

“Oh,” he said, “you’re … I see.” He had hoped Jecht might give him some privacy, but he was beginning to suspect that his guardian would become a constant fixture in the evening spheres he recorded. Jecht had been absent from last night’s, but that was because he had been out in the village; now that he was around for the recording, he seemed to assume that Yuna would want to see him.

“Hello again, Yuna,” Braska said as he switched on the device.

“Hey, Yuna!” Jecht echoed.

“We travelled to Macalania Temple today,” Braska went on, trying to ignore him, “and I spoke to the fayth there – it was challenging, but she took pity on me. So I’ve gained a second æon, I’m pleased to say.”

“What is an æon, anyway?” Jecht asked. “Auron said something about big fiends and the strength of the fayth, or somethin’, but that sounds like a load of crap to me.”

“Language, Jecht,” said Braska quietly, nodding towards the sphere recorder. “I think you may have misunderstood him. The æons aren’t fiends, they’re the manifestation of the fayth’s will. It’s a little difficult to explain – I’ll show you at some point.” He turned back towards the sphere. “We’ll be heading back through the woods tomorrow – it’s a long journey to the next temple. Sir Auron said he expects it’ll take us at least a week to get there. First we have to cross the Thunder Plains, so I’ll need to make sure my water magic is strong; then we’ll stop off in Guadosalam, and then cross the Moonflow, of course –”

“Aw, man,” Jecht moaned. “We gonna walk all that way? You know, in Zanarkand, we have a metro, just gets you from one side of the city to the other in a couple hours. I guess there’s nothing like that here, huh.”

“I suspect that would be considered a forbidden machina,” said Braska gravely. “No, we’ll be making the journey on foot, I’m afraid.”

Jecht groaned. “This place sucks. I wanna go home.”

Turning back to the sphere recorder, Braska gave it an apologetic smile. “Well, I suppose we should turn in,” he said. “I love you, Yuna – goodnight.” He switched off the device and carefully took out the two halves of the sphere, stowing them away in his robes; then he looked back towards Jecht. It was a little irritating, Braska found, to have his spheres constantly hijacked by his guardian; but on the other hand, he knew Jecht was confused and lonely away from his hometown. He wondered whether he should ask about it – try to make Jecht feel comfortable – but he didn’t have the energy.

“Time for bed, I think,” he said. “More walking tomorrow.”

“What a surprise,” Jecht muttered, folding his arms; but bed certainly sounded like an attractive proposition, and he followed Braska back to their room. When they entered, they were both surprised to see Auron asleep in the bed, only the top of his head poking out of the blanket. He was sleeping soundly enough, but the noise of his companions walking in sufficed to wake him up, and he lifted his head, beginning to pull the blanket off himself before catching sight of Braska’s somewhat bemused expression and wishing he had remained covered up so as to spare himself the embarrassment.

“I didn’t expect to find you there, Auron,” Braska remarked.

“Yeah, too right!” said Jecht angrily. “What about all that the bed is for Lord Braska stuff? Just wanted to get me out the way so you could have a turn, huh? You lying piece of shit –”

“Sorry,” said Auron, totally ignoring Jecht and looking up at Braska guiltily. “I just meant to take a quick nap.”

“It’s all right,” Braska replied. Auron looked unusually young, he suddenly thought: with his cheeks reddened and his eyelids drooping with fatigue, his long hair uncharacteristically untidy, he seemed almost childlike. Or maybe, Braska reflected, it was just that he himself felt very old. After experiencing two full lifetimes in a day, ten years’ age difference had never seemed so large.

“I’d like to go back to sleep now,” he said, “so if you’d …”

“Of course,” Auron mumbled, and he clumsily made his way out of the bed and across the room to the mat where he had slept the previous night, lying down and hauling the blanket over himself without another word.

Braska raised his eyebrows at Jecht. “Well, that’s that, I suppose,” he said. “Goodnight.”

“Night,” Jecht echoed. He eyed his own mat with displeasure, still resentful that everyone had got to sleep in a real bed but him. Nobody in Spira realised what a celebrity he was, he thought as he lay down. They didn’t understand that he deserved more respect than this.

6. Best Intentions

Auron, unusually, was the last to rise for breakfast the next day; he felt well rested, at least.

“Feeling better?” Braska murmured as Auron joined his companions at the breakfast table.

“I’m sorry,” said Auron, remembering the shame of being found in Braska’s bed the previous night. At the time, he had barely been awake enough to care; now, he looked back on the event with deep embarrassment.

“It’s quite all right,” said Braska. “You didn’t do any harm.” He gave Auron a brief touch to the wrist to emphasise his sincerity. “Did you rest well?”

“I did, sir,” said Auron. “Did you?”

Braska nodded.

He hadn’t eaten much of his breakfast, but Auron declined to comment on that and got started on his own portion, trying to avoid glancing at Jecht, whose approach to the food was just as chaotic as the previous morning. On the few occasions where Auron did accidentally meet Jecht’s eyes, Jecht smirked at him and raised his eyebrows; Auron didn’t want to begin guessing what that was supposed to mean.

“I suppose we should think about leaving, should we, Auron?” said Braska, once they had all finished eating.

“We should, if we’re to make good time,” Auron agreed. “The woods will take us a couple of days, but we ought to aim to camp as close as possible to the Thunder Plains tomorrow.”

“You’d better go and settle up, then,” said Braska.

Auron took the communal gil purse and headed to the reception desk. The same clerk was there – he wondered briefly whether she was ever off duty – and he began the negotiation of the price with her. It was a skill that his time as a warrior monk had taught him: the art of winning an argument. It hadn’t come naturally to begin with, but he had dedicated himself to learning the rules in the same way that he had approached his swordwork, and eventually it had paid off. Both had been essential requirements for rising through the ranks in the corps.

Braska and Jecht listened to the distant sound of the conversation as each respectively finished his tea and coffee. Braska had heard Auron negotiating like this a few times, but the process still seemed entirely alien to him: he had never understood the art of successfully manipulating a debate. It had made him a poor envoy to the Al Bhed in some respects, back when that had been his mission, but he had been sent to them more as a way of getting the senior priests shot of him than because of any skills in diplomacy.

Once the exchange seemed to be concluded, he set down his empty teacup and began to rise, leaving Jecht to follow. “Next time, we’ll agree a price beforehand,” the clerk was saying as they approached the desk. “Mark my words.”

“Thank you for your assistance,” Braska said while Auron joined them, grinning, his face a little flushed. The clerk nodded, as politely as she was able under the circumstances; and then Braska and his guardians headed back out towards the woods.

Braska found the cold weather less bearable without the vest the Al Bhed had leant him, but fortunately it was only a short journey to the forest entrance, where the sudden shift to a warmer climate was welcome despite remaining inexplicable. Equally welcome, and equally odd, was the fact that a glowing path, so thin and transparent as to be almost invisible, had somehow appeared in the thirty-six hours or so since they had left the woods after their previous journey. Rising up from the forest floor in the distance, it snaked away into the treetops, its sparkles even more intense than those that shone from the vegetation.

“Oh, that’s handy,” Auron remarked.

“What is it?” said Jecht.

“We call it the sky trail,” Auron explained. “It appears here from time to time – nobody really knows why – but it’ll let us get to the south side much more quickly. Before nightfall, probably.”

“The fayth’s blessing, perhaps,” Braska mused, looking up at the shining walkway. “One of Spira’s great mysteries, at least. Have you used it before, Auron?”

“Once or twice, sir,” said Auron, who had come through Macalania a few times on military business. “No fiends up there, either – that’ll speed things up.”

Braska nodded. “So I’ve heard.” He wondered if it really was the goodwill of Macalania’s fayth that had set the sky trail in place. She was, in essence, the guardian spirit of the whole region, not only the temple, and she would have known that he was intending to head south for the next æon. The thought of it gave him a little spark of hope: it was that occasional feeling, the same hope he and Auron had spoken of the previous day, that ensured he was just about strong enough for the journey. He took the few steps towards the path, and then walked onto it, beginning to follow it as it rose into the sky.

Auron was close behind; the path was mostly too narrow for two to walk abreast, but he stayed near Braska, ensuring that he would be able to provide assistance if his master needed it. Jecht brought up the rear, mildly impressed by the way that this new path had sprung up out of nowhere. In Zanarkand, there would have been health and safety concerns about walking on something so narrow, so far above the ground, with no handrail or other such protective measures in sight. The likelihood of being set upon by fiends as soon as one left a populated area, however, had already convinced him that people in Spira weren’t particularly bothered by that kind of thing.

He still had so many questions to ask about Spira, and now that they were going to be spending most of the day walking with no fiends to worry about, it was an ideal time to ask them. Indeed, if he had been able to speak directly to Braska, he would have done so without restraint. But the fact that Auron walked between them held him back: the other guardian had seemed more receptive to his queries while they were at the temple, and Jecht had, in turn, tried his best to be civil with him in the evening, but it was still frustrating to try getting information out of someone who was so suspicious of most things he did. If Auron had known just how famous he was in Zanarkand, Jecht thought, he would have been deeply embarrassed by his own conduct.

He kept the questions to himself instead, swigging contemplatively from one of the bottles he had hoarded. He would just have to work it all out on his own, he decided: he was no stranger to that. The drunker he got, the harder it would be, but the less he would care, so it would all balance out in the end.

At the front of the group, Braska was thinking about his new æon. He knew her name, but nothing else about her: the form she took and the type of magic she used would remain unknown to him until he summoned. Æons were normally reserved for the more difficult battles – it was thought disrespectful to call one to deal with just a couple of low-level fiends – but by that time, he would need to know how she operated in order to use her effectively. He had summoned Bahamut just once, having travelled out to the fields outside Bevelle with Yuna in tow; it had seemed right to call the æon for her and show her exactly how the fayth would be protecting him on his journey. The act of summoning had been strange: he hadn’t known what to expect, but somehow it had felt even odder than he had anticipated. While he knew he had a bond with Bahamut, and he could feel the æon within his soul, it seemed almost embarrassingly intimate to actually call the creature and see it manifest itself in front of him.

He had been told that winning the trust of the remaining fayth would be more difficult; indeed, bonding with each æon was to be a greater challenge, preparing him for the difficulties of receiving and using the Final Æon. He was supposed to practise summoning them so he could strengthen those bonds; but he was worried that they might resist him. Then again, he thought, he would have to start somewhere. It would be unwise to put off calling Shiva until it was too late.

He raised the subject with Auron, half-hoping that Auron would tell him summoning unnecessarily was a waste of his energy; but Auron agreed with the idea. “That sounds sensible,” he said. “I didn’t realise you knew so little about the æons to start with.”

“Yes, all I know is her name,” Braska said. “And I’m sure I could have found that out by talking to the temple elders.”

Auron hummed in agreement, trying not to appear disconcerted by Braska’s use of the female pronoun. At some point towards the end of his training, he had taken to referring to æons as if they were people – other inhabitants of Spira, Auron included, were accustomed to calling them it. From what Braska had told him about Bahamut, it sounded like the æon wasn’t very much like a person at all – and that tallied with the handful of occasions when he’d seen æons summoned in the past. Braska had seen a humanity in them that continued to elude Auron.

“Do you think it’ll be very different from Bahamut, sir?” he asked.

“The fayth certainly was,” Braska mused. “Yes, I think they’re quite unlike each other. The connection feels different – in here.” He tapped his breastplate, giving Auron a small, slightly sheepish smile.

Auron did his best to grin back – the knowledge that Braska could somehow feel the æons inside him was even more unsettling than the way he referred to them. He was thoroughly familiar with the way summoners bonded with their æons, having found out as much about it as he could before they had embarked on the pilgrimage, but knowing about it and experiencing its effects were two quite different things. The thought of harbouring what was almost a second soul in one’s body – a second and third soul now, in Braska’s case – was one he found fairly disturbing.

“This one might be elemental, I suppose,” he said.

“Yes,” said Braska, “that’s just what I was thinking. That’s why I’ll have to summon her – it would be good to know which element she favours, if any. If it had anything to do with the climate around the temple, I’m sure it would be ice, but I don’t suppose we can rely on that as a factor.”

Auron considered. “Ice would make sense,” he said, “given the name.”

“How’s that?” said Braska, frowning.

“Well,” said Auron, “you said the æon’s name is Shiva, didn’t you?”

“Yes?” Braska replied, still confused.

“So, you know – Shiva – like shiver –”

“Oh,” said Braska; “yes, I see.” His mouth twitched almost imperceptibly, and then he turned his attention back to the path ahead.

Auron suppressed a sigh; it had been a poor attempt at a joke, he knew, but he had hoped for slightly more of a reaction. He had never been much of a comedian, but over the past three years he had found himself taking any opportunity he could to try making Braska laugh: to get him to produce the kind of wholehearted, uninhibited laughter that had been the norm before Girl died. These days, the closest Braska came to true amusement was the occasional weak chuckle or rueful grin; but Auron had resolved not to stop trying to coax more out of him.

They walked on, exchanging a few more brief conversations. At around midday, they came to a curious area where the path forked, the short sideways branch leading to a large glowing orb, rather like an enormous sphere.

“That’s strange,” said Auron. “Never seen anything like it before.”

He stopped to take a closer look, curious about what the orb could signify; Jecht, approaching from behind, shoved Auron out of the way so that he could get a look at it himself. “Whoa, that’s cool,” he said, having drunk enough beers over the course of the morning to fail to come up with anything more insightful. “What is it?”

Nobody answered, so he strode forward towards the orb, determined to see it up close. It was made of such an odd substance that he couldn’t even tell whether it would be hard or soft to the touch; he extended a hand and found that it was neither. It was like touching light, if light had somehow been made solid. A pleasant warmth, not unlike white magic, enveloped his hand. Then, after a moment, a voice of unknown gender began to speak in his head, with the same soft warmth as the orb itself: “Have you the –”

Jecht yelped and recoiled; he had never experienced anything like it before. Withdrawing his hand from the orb’s surface, he backed away, towards Braska and Auron, who, despite their eccentricities, were at least fellow human beings.

Braska blinked at him a few times, and then murmured, “Is something wrong, Jecht?”

“Nah, I’m fine,” Jecht lied.

“Ignore him, my lord,” said Auron dismissively. “He’s drunk.”

“So what?” Jecht snarled.

“So,” Auron went on, his voice taking on a severe tone, “you’re neglecting your duties. Again. You’re supposed to be guarding Lord Braska.”

Jecht let out an incredulous laugh. “Guardin’ him against what? There ain’t even any fiends here!”

“That’s not the point!” Auron snapped. “You should be alert at all times – who knows what’s going to –”

“Auron,” Braska interrupted. “Stop arguing with Jecht, please.”

Jecht smirked; Auron clenched his fists. He already knew his confrontations with Jecht could have negative consequences, and he really had been trying to be polite to him, especially since the temple, but that didn’t mean he could stop himself losing his temper at times like this. Braska’s command took priority, though, so he forced himself to obey with a muttered “Sir”.

Braska nodded in response, and led the way forward again. He pondered as he went; his own troubles had largely prevented him from giving much thought to Jecht’s situation, but it was becoming obvious that they would need to address a few things.

“I know you don’t approve of Jecht’s drinking,” he murmured to Auron when they were sufficiently ahead of their companion, “but I’m starting to think he really has a problem. I’m not sure he’d be able to stop even if he wanted to.”

“Yeah,” said Auron irritably. “His relationship with alcohol is unhealthy – that’s obvious. But he should know your protection comes first.”

Braska shook his head. “No, Auron, I don’t think you understand. I think he really depends on it, the poor man. I think he’s addicted.” His voice had lowered to a whisper as he regarded Auron intensely.

Auron did his best not to roll his eyes: it had been obvious to him that Jecht had a real problem with alcohol since they had first set eyes on each other. He had seen that sort of thing in the past, before his dismissal from the warrior monks: both among civilians they had supported, and in the corps itself, young men and women who had regretted their enlistment and turned to drink to blot out the fact that they weren’t coping with military life. Braska, in comparison, was naïve: he had never spent much time among Spira’s more disenfranchised populations. The Al Bhed were discriminated against, of course, but they got on quite well within their own societal units; apart from them, Braska had only really known Bevelle’s upper classes. Auron knew full well that Jecht was in the throes of a serious alcohol addiction, but he remained of the opinion that there were no excuses for not paying full attention to the duties of the pilgrimage.

Braska, interpreting Auron’s frown as disbelief, turned back towards Jecht and called out to him. “Jecht, if I were to ask you to stop drinking while we’re on the pilgrimage – just to make sure you can dedicate yourself to your duties, as Auron says – do you think you’d, er, be able to do that?”

Jecht snorted. “Sure I could. I can stop whenever I want.”

“Then stop,” said Auron flatly.

Slowly, Jecht raised the beer bottle he held in one hand to his mouth and took a swig, extending the middle finger of the other hand in Auron’s direction. Auron’s jaw tightened: it was a gesture he hadn’t come across before, not being part of the Spiran repertoire of body language, but the broad sentiment behind it was unmistakable.

“Never mind,” said Braska hastily, turning away to resume the journey.

They continued along the sky trail for a few more hours; it was noticeably darker by the time they reached the end, alighting on the soft forest floor. The path had brought them almost to the limit of the southern part of the woods, and it would be unwise to travel any further south than that; camping on the Thunder Plains would result in a sleepless night for everyone, even Braska. Auron had already determined that they would spend the night in the woods, giving them a whole day to make it across the northern half of the plains to the travel agency located at the region’s halfway point: it would be a long journey, but a manageable one.

Auron handed out the evening’s rations, and they ate in silence. Jecht, who had realised he needed to slow the pace of his drinking in order to allow for another day’s travel, was beginning to get a sore head that he certainly wasn’t going to mention out loud. Braska’s thoughts, meanwhile, had turned back to the need to summon his new æon; he picked distractedly at his food for a while, and then stood up, deciding something needed to be done.

“I should see what this æon’s about, I suppose,” he announced, taking hold of his staff.

Auron nodded. “Try not to overreact,” he said to Jecht.

“Overreact?” Jecht echoed. “What are you talkin’ about?”

“Well,” said Auron casually, “I’m just saying that this might surprise you, if you’ve never seen an æon being summoned before.” He couldn’t help grinning.

“Sure, whatever,” said Jecht, not enjoying being the butt of Auron’s joke; he much preferred it when things were the other way around.

Braska revolved slowly on the spot, dragging his staff through the air; he was trying to get a feel for the best method of summoning Shiva. Each æon reacted best to a different motion, he knew; Bahamut, he had discovered, seemed to favour a sort of twirl that he himself thought rather ostentatious. Concentrating on the æon, he did his best to let her spirit guide him, eventually raising his staff as high as he could before dropping into a crouch, lowering the staff quickly to the ground.

It was a success: huge ice crystals formed behind him, and the æon descended, gradually taking a distinctly human shape. She was a woman, he realised, a stunningly beautiful woman with impossibly long, flowing hair that hung from her head in heavy plaits, framing her almost nude body. She cast one arm sharply behind her; the ice shattered, and Shiva’s mantle flew into the air. Instinctively, Braska rushed forward to catch it in his arms, almost tripping over the hem of his own robe.

“Holy shit,” said Jecht as he watched Shiva appear. “This is an æon? Auron, you didn’t tell me æons were … smokin’ hot ladies! Could’ve mentioned it, huh?”

Auron took a moment to respond: he found himself captivated by the look on Braska’s face, an expression of sheer fervour. He could tell that Braska was putting as much effort into the summoning as he could, baring his soul to the æon in a way that was almost physically painful to witness. “They’re not usually humanoid,” Auron murmured, tearing his gaze away reluctantly. “The ones I’ve seen before are more like beasts – this is unusual.”

Braska faced Shiva, trying to remain confident. Her mantle was uncomfortably cold in his arms, but he knew he couldn’t put it aside now: he had to show her his persistence. As he looked into her eyes, he found himself feeling increasingly unsettled: his suspicion had been right. This already felt much more difficult than bonding with Bahamut had. He could tell he would need to put in a good deal more work to encourage Shiva to trust him. And yet, at the same time, his body was reacting in a different way altogether: he was a man, after all, and this type of intimacy with such a stunning woman – one, moreover, who was so scantily dressed – was enough to make his cheeks redden slightly and his heart beat somewhat faster. He was glad that the shape of his robe made what was underneath difficult to discern: he was sure there would be further consequences if he had to maintain this contact much longer.

Jecht wasn’t experiencing the same emotional connection with the æon, of course, but even from a distance he too found himself unable to look away. “What a view, huh?” he murmured.

“Show some respect,” said Auron.

Jecht turned towards him, shaking his head in disbelief. “Man, I don’t get you, Auron,” he said. “I mean, I know you’re a jerk, but how are you not gettin’ turned on by that?!” He gestured towards the æon with enthusiasm. “Never seen a woman that perfect before.”

“Aren’t you married?” said Auron suspiciously.

“I can look at other girls,” Jecht declared. “Seriously, is there somethin’ wrong with you? Apart from the whole stick-up-the-ass thing? Cos any guy I know would be goin’ crazy for her. Hell knows I am.” He let out a long, low whistle.

Auron shrugged; the direction the conversation had taken was starting to make him feel uneasy. “Not my type,” he muttered.

“You’re kiddin’,” said Jecht, not noticing Auron’s discomfort. “That’s everyone’s type, right there.”

Braska was flagging; he was becoming increasingly worried by the current of unfriendliness he could detect from the æon, and decided at last to dismiss her. He waved his staff to communicate the instruction; slowly, Shiva’s form lost its substance, fading away until it was like glass before vanishing altogether. He looked down at the ground for a moment, steadying his thoughts; the intensity and uncertainty of the whole experience made him feel like crying. But he remembered Shiva’s fayth telling him he needed to be stronger: that was what mattered most. If he couldn’t be as the fayth wanted, there was really no hope at all.

“Well,” he said hesitantly, “that was something.”

“Something?” Jecht echoed. “You’re damn right! That was just about the sexiest woman I ever seen – and you just magicked her out of thin air!”

“Not quite,” Braska attempted to explain as a way of distracting himself. “I summoned her – it’s not exactly the same thing –”

“Sure, yeah,” said Jecht. “Well, I’m sure gonna store that one away for later.”

Auron scowled. “Don’t be crude,” he said.

“I can be as crude as I damn well want, you prick,” said Jecht. “Hey, Braska, this guy said she wasn’t his type! Can you believe that? I think there’s somethin’ seriously wrong with him.”

Auron grimaced, but Braska had barely registered the remark; he still felt close to tears. The few people who had consented to share their experiences of summoning with him during his training had been right, he now knew: not all æons were as trusting as one’s first. He had grown up in Bevelle and spent much of his adult life there as well, and perhaps that also helped explain why Bahamut, as the æon of the citadel, had seemed so familiar from the start. Things would be different with Shiva. The chill in the air that had accompanied her arrival seemed not to have lifted.

Exhaling slowly, he reminded himself what he needed to concentrate on. He had to be strong – strong, he thought, briefly clenching his fists. Even if it meant forcing his sorrow aside, he would have to try his very hardest. A moment to catch his breath would help: just a few minutes on his own, away from Auron’s concern and Jecht’s posturing.

“Excuse me,” he mumbled. “Nature calls.”

“Nature calls, yeah right,” said Jecht with a snort as Braska trudged away. “More like …” He curled his right hand into a loose fist and moved it back and forth in front of his crotch – the meaning of the gesture was unambiguous.

“Don’t,” Auron protested weakly.

“Wouldn’t blame him,” Jecht went on. “Not after that – man, I can’t believe you said she wasn’t your type! So what kinda women are you into, then?”

Auron sighed. “That’s none of your business.”

“Oh, so you’re gonna make me guess?” said Jecht. “Let’s see – you’re a preachy asshole, so – oh. Oh, Auron.” He shook his head in feigned disappointment.

“What?” Auron snapped.

Jecht grinned. “You’re into those nuns, ain’t ya? The old ladies at the temple – the ones that look like they’re about to drop dead. Man, Auron, that’s messed up.”

“I am not,” Auron hissed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Jecht laughed. “Oh boy, your face. You know, you should learn to lighten up a little. Quit bein’ so serious all the time.”

Auron ignored him. The pilgrimage was serious, he thought, and Jecht knew that. Besides, after what he had been through recently, he couldn’t help being tense, especially given the subject matter.

“Braska’s takin’ a while,” Jecht remarked after a few moments of silence. “I think he really is jerkin’ off.”

Auron tried not to react, but it was too late: Jecht’s words had already planted images in his head unbidden. He could imagine Braska, his robe held up by one hand, the other working at his crotch, his eyes gradually falling closed as he got into a rhythm –

He forced the thought away with some reluctance. It really wasn’t a good idea to be thinking about that sort of thing while Jecht was around, he reflected. “I’m going to get the tent ready,” he muttered, and sprang up to attend to it.

Jecht smirked. He relished making Auron feel uncomfortable – although he wasn’t quite sober enough to work out the exact reason for that discomfort.

Not long afterwards, Braska returned. His urge to give in to tears had eventually passed, and he remained more determined than ever to work on his strength: as he had already concluded, it needed to be his foremost priority. Carefully, he sat on the ground where Auron had been, facing Jecht across the small campfire he had lit earlier. “I’d like you to help me with something, Jecht,” he said as he did so.

“Uh huh,” said Jecht warily.

Lowering his eyes towards the fire, Braska went on. “When I spoke to the fayth yesterday, she told me I wasn’t strong enough. I’m worried that this failing could hold me back at the next temple. We have a while before we get there, but I need to do all I can to overcome it. It’s terribly important.”

“Right,” said Jecht.

“Well,” said Braska, “perhaps this is something you could help me with. Take me through some exercises, maybe – I know you’re a fit and active man yourself.” Asking Auron would be a possibility, but Auron had already put him through some training before the pilgrimage had started, and despite promising it would be manageable for a civilian, the pace had been almost too fast for Braska to cope with. Moreover, Braska had wondered whether doing something with Jecht might allow the two of them to bond a little. Jecht was struggling with a serious alcohol addiction, and he was far from his home, surrounded by things that were new and strange: he surely needed companionship, Braska thought.

“Uh,” said Jecht, “you sure she meant strong, like, physically? Was she maybe talkin’ about –” He was well aware by this point that Braska tended to let his emotions show, but he didn’t want to acknowledge it. “Other stuff?”

“Oh, undoubtedly,” said Braska, attempting a smile. “But I should think this is part of it, and it seems as if it might be easier to work on. So, what do you say – do you think you could put me through my paces?”

“Sure thing,” said Jecht. “You know you’re talkin’ to Zanarkand’s top blitzer, right? Ain’t nothin’ I don’t know about keepin’ fit. Course, it all comes natural to me, but I happen to be a pretty great teacher too, so you’re in luck.”

He coached Braska through a few basic strength training exercises; there weren’t exactly any weights they could lift, but it was easy enough to have a go at some squats and push-ups, even if Braska did insist on doing the whole routine fully clothed in his robe and headdress. He was slightly out of breath by the end of it, but had coped better than Jecht had anticipated.

“Not bad,” said Jecht. “I dunno what you’re worryin’ about – you’re stronger than I figured.”

Braska smiled and shook his head; he had found the experience more enjoyable than he had expected, and it had allowed him to mostly forget about Shiva, leaving him in a notably better mood than before. “Looks can be deceiving,” he remarked. “I might not have done so well if I’d been casting magic all day, but I’m glad I was able to give it a good go. That was just the sort of thing I needed – I have to thank you, Jecht.”

“Well, I am the expert,” Jecht declared. “One last thing – wanna race me to that tree?”

Braska looked at the tree Jecht was pointing out: it was about fifty yards away, he estimated. “With all this on?” he said, gesturing down at his robe.

Jecht shrugged. “I mean, you can take it off.”

“Not in public,” said Braska, although the chance of any strangers coming by was minimal. “All right, I’ll make do.” He hitched the robe above his ankles with both hands, revealing the light trousers and walking sandals he wore underneath. “Just to the tree, then?”

“There and back,” said Jecht. “Let’s say we gotta get close enough to the tree to touch it, then turn around and –” He looked for a marker on the ground, and saw both their weapons that they had set down earlier. “Whoever picks up your staff first is the winner.”

Braska nodded. “That suits me,” he said.

“Ready, then?” said Jecht, settling into a sprinting stance. “Three, two, one – go!”

They hurtled towards the tree, neck and neck; as it was such a short race, Braska’s complete lack of technique was made up for by his determination, but that didn’t give him the edge over Jecht, who managed to overtake as they got close to the halfway point. He stretched out an arm as he approached the tree, ready to tap it and make a quick turn – but he suddenly found himself hindered by Braska, who had reached out from behind and was trying to tug his arm away.

“Hey,” Jecht exclaimed breathlessly, “you cheatin’ bastard!” He wrenched the arm from Braska’s grasp and managed to touch the tree before turning around, hearing Braska close behind him; his interference had narrowed the gap between them. Nonetheless, Jecht was clearly in the lead again by the time they reached their goal, and he bent down to lift Braska’s staff from the ground; but once again, Braska was doing his best to get in Jecht’s way, grabbing at any part of Jecht he could reach until he got close enough to the staff to lay his hands on it, even though Jecht was already holding it himself.

Jecht wrenched the staff away from Braska as hard as he could; the friction made Braska’s hands burn, and he gave a little yelp of pain, but it soon turned into a quiet chuckle as he cast a quick Cure spell on himself.

“What the hell, man?” Jecht complained. “I didn’t think you were gonna cheat!”

Braska shrugged. “I don’t think it counts as cheating when there aren’t any rules to break. If you were concerned about my behaviour, you should have established what was allowed beforehand.”

Jecht couldn’t help grinning at the absurdity of it, mirroring Braska’s own wry smile. “I just never knew you had it in you,” he said. “Thought you were too … moral for that kinda thing.”

“I think you’re confusing me with Auron,” said Braska.

Jecht laughed. “Yeah, maybe. I guess I should apologise, then – you’re way cooler than that asshole.”

The asshole in question appeared before Braska had the chance to reprimand Jecht, frowning suspiciously at the sight of Jecht still clutching Braska’s staff. “What’s going on?” he said, looking from one to the other.

“We were just exercising,” said Braska. “You should be pleased, Auron – you’ve told me often enough how important it is for me to stay fit.”

Jecht failed to stifle a whoop of laughter at that; Auron barely registered it. Braska was smiling, he had realised, noticeably more broadly than his usual efforts. In fact, Auron didn’t think he’d seen this kind of smile on Braska’s face in a very long time.

“Are you all right?” said Braska, more gently. “You look a bit bewildered.”

“I just don’t see what sort of exercise could have resulted in Jecht holding your staff, sir,” said Auron gruffly, while Jecht doubled over, laughing even harder.

Braska gave a little snort of amusement, and then said, “It’s nothing to worry about, Auron. I suppose we should turn in, anyway – it’s your turn to take first watch, isn’t it?”

Auron had been going to suggest that Jecht take first watch again, given that he still wouldn’t be used to dealing with the reduction in his sleep; but the fact that Braska was even aware of whose turn it was supposed to be was surprising enough for him to go along with it. “Yeah,” he said, before turning to Jecht. “I’ll be in to wake you in a few hours, Jecht – don’t get complacent.”

Jecht laughed again. “Sure thing,” he said, before following Braska into the tent, ready to guest star in the evening’s sphere for Yuna once again.

Auron stationed himself by the campfire and gazed into the flames, watching the orange-tinted image of the trees behind as it slowly morphed from one distorted elongation to the next. The memory of Braska’s earnest smile was still vivid in his mind; he had expected to be relieved to see it, but it was surprisingly disconcerting. He wished he knew exactly what Braska had been smiling at – what Jecht had done that had achieved something Auron himself had never had much success with. If Braska was to smile like that again, he thought – perhaps eventually even laugh – there was a chance that things might work out differently.

He wrapped his robe around himself more tightly as the sky grew darker. It was an absurd hope, he thought – a hope he had to keep secret from Braska at all costs. An improvement in Braska’s mood might go some way towards changing the course of the pilgrimage, but he would also need to keep working on it himself. There had been no clues as to how he might do so in Macalania, but the region had always been a long shot. Visiting temples further from Bevelle would be more useful – he was sure of it.

There was a crunching in the leaves nearby. Auron raised a hand over his shoulder to take hold of the hilt of his sword, expecting to see a fiend; but it was a woman, carrying a gun and dressed in the characteristic baggy trousers of the Crusaders. The lay militia of Spira had always had a rivalry with the warrior monks, and even though Auron had severed his ties with the latter, he still felt an instinctive suspicion as he watched the woman draw closer.

“Evening,” the Crusader said.

“Good evening,” Auron replied quietly.

“What’s this, then?” said the Crusader, nodding towards the tent.

Auron stifled a sigh. “I’m a summoner’s guardian,” he explained reluctantly. “He’s asleep in there.”

“Oh, right,” said the Crusader, unimpressed. She peered at Auron more closely. “Here – do I know you?”

“I don’t know you,” Auron replied, “so presumably not.”

The woman frowned. “Just – you look familiar. You haven’t been on the sphere lately, have you?”

“No,” Auron lied; his likeness had indeed been shown during a public sphere broadcast recently, but he would rather not jog the Crusader’s memory further. “What are you doing, anyway?” he said. “Since when was it your job to walk around the woods questioning people?”

“New orders,” said the Crusader. “Got a problem with that?”

“I just think people should be entitled to travel from one place to another without being interrogated about it,” said Auron.

“They are,” the Crusader replied, “unless they cause trouble.”

“And am I causing trouble?” Auron hissed back.

The Crusader blinked back at him for a moment, and then said, “Not at present.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds more, neither saying anything; then the Crusader turned around and walked off in as dignified a manner as possible. Auron let out a snort of contempt once she was out of earshot. The pilgrimage was going to be hard enough, he thought, without Crusaders meddling in it.

Inside the tent, Jecht and Braska slept, unaware of the exchange outside. Braska’s unusually good mood had persisted, and he was quite ready not to have to spend any more time worrying about Shiva. His relationship with Jecht seemed to be improving too; perhaps, he had thought as he drifted off to sleep, Jecht might soon realise he didn’t need to cloak himself in bravado. Maybe that would mean he and Auron might soon be able to get on better, too – and if that happened, Braska would go to the Final Summoning with one thing less to worry about.

7. Laughter and Tears

They rose early, woken at dawn by Jecht on Auron’s instruction: they would need to get across the northern part of the Thunder Plains before nightfall, and Auron was determined to build in extra time for the journey in case of unexpected mishaps.

Once again, there was a sudden shift in the climate as they emerged from the forest; Braska and Auron were long used to it, but Jecht peered around in confusion at the abrupt change. The Thunder Plains, as the name suggested, consisted of a large, flat, open area without much vegetation, dotted here and there with tall, forbidding-looking towers that were clearly man-made, despite the apparent absence of civilisation. While the weather in Macalania had remained dry over the past few days, there was a persistent rain here: not so heavy as to drench travellers in minutes, but the kind of fine drizzle that would gradually accumulate until passersby were soaked through without even noticing when or how it had happened.

On top of that, there was the eponymous thunder, which rumbled menacingly every few minutes; unsurprisingly, this was accompanied by lightning, not in the form of faraway flashes but as actual bolts that periodically shot down to strike the ground, leaving little scorched patches that took a moment to blend in with the surrounding terrain.

Jecht surveyed the scene doubtfully: it looked extremely unsafe. He didn’t want to seem like a coward by pointing it out, but on the other hand, he thought, Zanarkand’s star blitzball player deserved better treatment than to have to walk through such an obvious deathtrap. He hesitated, unsure of how to draw attention to the situation, and then abruptly stepped back as a bolt of lightning struck the ground less than an arm’s length away from him.

“Don’t look so offended, Jecht,” said Braska, who was still unusually cheerful. “It won’t hurt you.”

Jecht’s frown deepened. “Huh? What do you mean, it won’t hurt me?”

“This is no ordinary storm,” Braska explained. “The lightning’s almost totally harmless; it might knock you off your feet, but the worst thing you’ll have to worry about is the fall. The only downside is that the storm’s perpetual.”

“No way,” said Jecht. “You mean this place is always like this?”

Braska nodded. “It’s been this way for hundreds of years, they say. The towers were built to disperse the lightning’s power. They do a good job of it – and they absorb a few of the strikes in the areas where –”

He was cut off by a lightning bolt that suddenly struck him, as if on cue, and he toppled over, landing on the ground with a quiet gasp of pain. Auron stepped forward, a potion in hand, but Braska was almost immediately back on his feet, rubbing the arm that had taken the impact of the fall and refusing the potion with a shake of his head. “I’m all right,” he said. “I’m sure we’ll be in greater need of those later.”

He was right; they were all sore and fed up after the first hour of crossing the plains, having been knocked off their feet several times each. The fiends did more damage, but at least they were easier to fend off; the lightning was constant enough to be quite an annoyance.

“We’ll rest here for a moment,” said Auron when they came within reach of one of the lightning towers. Braska nodded, wiping the rain off his face with his sleeve; due to the fiends’ elemental weaknesses, he had mostly been using water spells in combat, which hadn’t helped.

“Hey, this place is great!” Jecht enthused, joining them; since discovering the lightning was mostly harmless, he had found that his attitude towards it had rapidly changed, from suspicion, to acceptance, to delight. “I want a picture. Somethin’ to show the guys back home – hey, Auron, take one of me with the tower in the background, right? Braska, you can be in it too.”

Braska paused – he could see Auron was about to argue, but it didn’t seem as if there would be any harm in indulging Jecht on this occasion. “Just a quick one,” he said, averting his eyes from Auron’s suddenly irritated expression.

Auron maintained his scowl, but he took out the sphere recorder and attempted to set up the shot while Braska and Jecht stood in front of the tower. Braska looked on, making the mistake of glancing towards Auron again and finding him looking even more annoyed than last time. But it was important to make Jecht feel comfortable, Braska thought resolutely; Auron needed to learn that too. That was the only way Jecht would come to trust the two of them.

He decided he ought to discuss it with Auron before the latter got too angry, and left his position beside Jecht, making for his other guardian. Concentrating more on Braska than on readying the sphere recorder, Auron studied his expression as he approached, hoping Braska might be about to tell him that there was no need to give into Jecht’s foolish whims after all.

“Hey, hold it steady!” Jecht complained as he watched Auron’s meagre efforts at positioning the sphere recorder.

His exhortation had little effect: it merely served to remind Auron of how ridiculous it was to be taking these recordings, as if the pilgrimage was some kind of holiday. “Why am I doing this?” he hissed into the recorder, turning away from Jecht and switching it off at last.

“What the hell?!” Jecht said.

“Auron,” said Braska. “You know Jecht’s a long way from home. I really think –”

“This isn’t the place,” Auron insisted, gesturing irritably towards the sky.

“I know,” said Braska, “but …” He hesitated, wondering if placating Auron might for the moment be more important than keeping Jecht happy. “Jecht,” he said, turning to face him again. “Maybe we should leave it until later. I think Auron’s just worried about whether we’ll make it to the travel agency in good time.”

“Ugh, lame,” said Jecht.

Despite his protest, they walked on, seeing off a few more fiends. Braska and Auron paused again at the next tower, waiting for Jecht to join them: he had been bringing up the rear. Auron wrung out his ponytail, grimacing as the rainwater trickled over his bare left hand. Over the few days they had been on the road, he had started to realise that the way he had decided to dress on the pilgrimage was somewhat impractical; but, he reflected, Braska and Jecht were hardly more conveniently dressed themselves, and the clothes he wore were a nod to a centuries-old tradition. He had made a commitment, and he would stick to it: that was how he operated.

The sky flashed around Jecht, and he instinctively leapt back; moments later, a bolt of lightning hit the ground in front of him, just where he had been standing before. “Whoa!” he exclaimed. “Did you guys see that? I can’t believe I just dodged –” He considered. “I mean, obviously I can dodge the lightning, I’m the great Jecht! Fastest reflexes in Zanarkand! There was this one time in the sphere, the guy from the Cadgers was tryin’ to trick me by sendin’ the ball the other way, but I –”

“A fluke,” said Auron, raising his voice a little so Jecht could hear across the distance. “Could have happened to any of us.”

“Are you serious?” said Jecht. “Didn’t you see that, Auron? You wanna try doin’ that yourself? I didn’t think so!”

“Come and shelter with us, Jecht,” Braska suggested, cutting in before Auron could make a retort.

Jecht snorted. “Hell no. I’m gonna stay out here, and I’m gonna dodge it again, just so I can show that asshole.”

Auron rolled his eyes; Braska glanced at him and sighed minutely. There seemed to be no way of resolving his guardians’ disagreements; on one of his worse days, the situation might have driven him to tears. At least that might have encouraged Auron to be reasonable, he reflected.

Jecht stood, his arms folded, until another telltale flash lit the sky around him; this time, he jumped ostentatiously to the side, and the lightning hit the ground a short distance away. “Ha!” he crowed, extending an arm to jab a pointing finger in Auron’s general direction. “See that, Auron? Not a fluke now, is it? Pretty clear that I’m the best. Looks like you should be apologisin’.”

“Don’t hold your breath,” Auron called back, before Braska could stop him.

“Ugh, you’re so jealous,” said Jecht dismissively. “Hey, you know what’d be good? We should get this on video, for … for posterity, you know! All my fans are gonna want to see it. Auron, get the camera out, and I mean it this time.”

“He means the sphere recorder,” Auron muttered for Braska’s benefit; he had become more accustomed to Jecht’s strange vocabulary than he would have liked.

“I see,” said Braska. “Perhaps you should on this occasion, then.”

“Are you serious?” Auron protested.

“It clearly means a lot to him,” Braska pointed out, “or he wouldn’t keep asking, would he? If we indulge him this time, that might be the end of it. Come on, Auron.”

Auron quickly took out the sphere recorder again; he had detected the note of exasperation beginning to creep into Braska’s voice. Braska, meanwhile, looked into the distance, wondering what else he could possibly try as a way of encouraging his guardians to be more tolerant towards each other.

Glancing at Jecht as he swaggered and pranced around, and dearly wishing it was something he didn’t have to see, Auron turned back towards Braska as he switched on the recorder, and found him staring at something on the horizon.

“What do you see there, my lord?” he said, eager to forget about Jecht’s antics.

“Oh, I was just thinking,” said Braska truthfully.

“This is important!” Jecht yelled. “No foolin’ around, you’re gonna spoil it!”

Auron ignored him, keeping the recorder pointed at Braska. Now that he was looking away from Jecht, he felt supremely unmotivated to turn back towards him; the sight of Braska, even facing in the other direction, was much more appealing.

Jecht scowled, waving his arms in an attempt to get Auron to turn his attention back to him. In his frustration, he failed to notice the sky flashing until it was too late – seconds later, a lightning bolt struck him. “Whoa!” he yelled as he went down, falling flat on his face with uncharacteristic inelegance.

At that, both Braska and Auron finally turned to look towards Jecht, who hauled himself into a slightly more respectable position with a grimace.

“Are you all right?” said Braska. He assumed Jecht was fine – they had all been so far – but the fact that Jecht hadn’t yet stood up again was something that he wondered whether he needed to be concerned about. As he drew closer, though, he was relieved to find that Jecht appeared unharmed.

“Now there’s a scene for posterity,” Auron remarked, grinning as he carefully zoomed in with the sphere recorder.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jecht said crossly.

Braska’s smile widened: he was starting to find some humour in the situation, and now knowing that Jecht was unhurt, there seemed to be no harm in showing it. Such ironies were just the kind of thing that tickled him – the fact that Jecht had dodged the lightning twice in a row, and then, once a recording was actually being made, he had failed so spectacularly –

He began to laugh out loud.

At the sound, Auron felt a sudden, sharp ache in his chest. He had gone three years without hearing Braska laugh properly; it was something he had begun to think he would never hear again. And here he was on the Thunder Plains, standing in the rain and listening to it once more; it was a bittersweet echo of happier times.

He stood immobilised for a moment, and then fumbled to switch off the sphere recorder, watching numbly as Braska helped Jecht to his feet and then led him towards the closest of the towers to take cover, an arm slung lightly around his guardian’s shoulders. Jecht was somewhat awkward in his reactions – men didn’t tend to make physical contact with each other in that way in Zanarkand, even if they were very close friends – but Auron completely failed to notice his discomfort. He was still reeling at what he had heard, and what it might mean for the pilgrimage. If Braska were to laugh like that again, he thought, perhaps he would begin to seek a path other than the one he had chosen.

Surreptitiously, he took a few deep breaths, reminding himself to be rational. This didn’t mean anything, not on its own, he told himself. He was normally an extremely logical and clear-headed person; jumping to conclusions like this wasn’t his style. It was just that there was something about Braska that sometimes caused his thoughts to be less well organised than usual, and something about that laugh that had reminded him of the very hope that he and Braska had spoken about before. He couldn’t let go of it; the sound echoed in his mind as they set off into the storm again.

Braska had taken the lead, striding forward with unusual vigour. Jecht initially followed right behind, but Auron grabbed him by the arm and pulled him close. “I need to talk to you,” he said, lowering his voice so Braska wouldn’t hear.

Jecht scowled. “Get off of me, you weirdo. What is it?”

“It’s –” Auron frowned as he tried to put his thoughts into words. “You made him laugh.”

“Yeah, and?” said Jecht.

“That’s the first time I’ve heard him laugh,” said Auron, “in three years. I’ve been trying, all that time – and you just –”

Jecht shrugged. “Guess you just ain’t a funny guy.”

“But –” said Auron. He broke off. There was no point trying to explain the significance of this to Jecht, he realised – and even if he did, Jecht would no doubt make light of it. He couldn’t possibly realise what this meant, even if Auron laid it out for him.

“Never mind,” he said gruffly, striding forward so he wouldn’t have to look at Jecht’s derisive expression.

Despite the fact that Jecht continued to be obtuse, though, Auron couldn’t help seeing him in a new light as they continued. If Jecht was capable of making Braska laugh like that, he thought, he had a utility that Auron had never expected. It was difficult to stop his imagination running wild, conjuring up some kind of scenario in which Braska might become truly happy again, and go back on his decision; forcing himself not to picture it, Auron nonetheless found himself wondering how Jecht’s newfound talent might ease the sadness of the pilgrimage.

He paid unusual attention to Jecht while they advanced, seeing off more fiends. Jecht’s fighting had come on enormously since they first set off a few days earlier, but he was still reckless and impulsive, and displayed nothing resembling proper sword technique; Auron almost cringed visibly as he watched him leaping about, landing blows that damaged the fiends in defiance of all logic. His own swordstrokes were slow and precise, and many times more powerful – and yet Jecht was cutting down just as many fiends as he was.

They arrived at the travel agency in good time, despite or perhaps because of Auron’s earlier insistence that they needed to set off as early as possible; it wasn’t yet evening when the three of them staggered into the building, soaking wet and aching again after having been knocked to the ground by the lightning so many times. The man at the reception desk, to whom this was a familiar sight, cheerfully made each of them a cup of steaming tea and handed them a blanket that would have been large enough to drape over all three travellers if they had sat close together; Auron and Jecht both refused their respective corners and left the whole thing to Braska, who enthusiastically wrapped it around himself as he sat to drink his tea.

Jecht didn’t touch his own; he was a coffee man. Auron had the same preference, but he drank his tea out of politeness, sneaking the occasional glance at Braska, who seemed thoroughly contented to have finished the day’s journey despite how soaked he was.

“Well, I think I might have a bath,” he announced eventually, standing slowly and making his way towards the washing facilities. Auron watched, vaguely half-remembering an occasion some time ago when Braska had made the same declaration and Auron had spent the next half-hour worrying that he might be about to try to drown himself; there was no chance of that today, at least.

He turned to Jecht, having resolved earlier to speak to him about his swordfighting prowess. “Your fighting’s improving,” he began, after a brief and unimpressed look at the beer bottle Jecht had produced seemingly from nowhere.

Jecht looked at Auron, frowned momentarily, and then barked out a laugh. “Wait – are you kidding me?” he said. “Is that a compliment? Don’t tell me you finally realised I got talent?”

“Shut up,” Auron snapped back. “I was going to say, it’s improving, but it still needs work. You can’t afford to get complacent – there are some dangerous fiends out there.”

“Dangerous like those flans that took you out a couple days ago, huh?” said Jecht, grinning.

“Yes,” said Auron, ignoring the jibe. “And if we find ourselves in a position like that again, with Lord Braska unable to help us, you’ll need to be as precise with your sword as possible. We can’t afford to make mistakes.”

“Braska wasn’t unable to help us, you were just being overprotective, as usual,” said Jecht dismissively. “Anyway, what am I supposed to do about it, practise? You gonna give me lessons, if you’re such an expert?”

Auron shrugged. “I can go through some of the basics of proper technique with you, yeah.”

“Oh yeah?” said Jecht, raising an eyebrow. He considered: he didn’t fancy having Auron order him around, but maybe he would be able to show his fellow guardian just how sophisticated his combat skills had become. “OK, then,” he said, setting his beer on the table. “You wanna do it now?”

It was still raining, of course, but they were soaked anyway, Auron reasoned. “Sure,” he said.

They headed outside, staying close to the travel agency to minimise the chance of fiends intervening, and began to circle each other, Auron with his sword over his shoulder in his customary two-handed grip, Jecht waving his around apparently at random.

“You’re fast, so use it,” said Auron. “When I attack, you should be able to parry easily. Rely on your agility, not your strength; land a blow when you see an opportunity.”

He raised his sword to strike, and Jecht deflected the blow easily with his own blade. Auron nodded. “That’s it,” he said. He lunged a few more times, and each time Jecht managed to block his approach.

“Try an attack,” Auron urged, wiping the rainwater off his face, and Jecht complied, lashing out clumsily towards him with his sword. Auron deflected the blow easily with his own, and bore down on Jecht with his greater strength, forcing him onto his knees. “You need to focus,” he said. “That wasn’t targeted properly – you lost time. Pick a spot and aim straight for it.”

Auron was still pushing his sword against Jecht’s, and Jecht was bending back towards the ground, struggling to hold himself in a crouched position. “Fine, fine,” he said, his voice strained from the effort of not falling backwards. “I give in, I – I yield. You got me trapped here.”

Auron laughed, and let Jecht go, pushing against his chest roughly as they both stood up. “Try again,” he urged him.

Jecht hit out with his sword once more, and Auron blocked it, not bothering to force him onto the ground this time. “Better,” he grunted. “Now –”

Jecht decided to rely on his speed, and try for a second blow while Auron was distracted. He drew back and struck once again, not really picking a particular spot to aim for, but just trying to show Auron that surprise was one of the prime features of his arsenal. Auron twisted at the same time, assuming a different stance, and Jecht’s blade drove straight into his bare left arm, just below the shoulder.

Auron cried out, dropping his own sword and tearing off his gauntlet with his teeth, before he raised his right hand to the wound instinctively. Jecht’s eyes widened as he looked at it; he’d cut deep. Blood was flowing from the incision and seeping out between Auron’s fingers, trickling down towards his elbow.

“Don’t just stand there,” Auron hissed.

“Well, what am I meant to do?” said Jecht desperately.

Auron gaped at him. “Don’t you – haven’t you been here long enough to learn how healing works? I need white magic, and quickly –”

“Right,” Jecht stammered, and began to hurry towards the travel agency, fervently hoping that Braska was out of his bath.

He was in luck, finding Braska sitting on the bed in the room they had taken for the night; he had put his robe back on and was towelling his hair dry. “Auron’s hurt,” said Jecht, bursting in without ceremony. “You gotta help – he’s outside.”

Braska looked up at him, suddenly wide-eyed. “What?” he said sharply. He stood, and then remembered his headdress, and hesitated: it wasn’t proper to go out with his hair uncovered. But it would take time to put the headdress on, he knew: it would surely delay his getting to Auron. Eventually, after a few seconds of fierce mental debate, he decided Auron was worth the trouble, and followed Jecht outside with his staff in hand.

Auron had fallen to his knees, the pain from his wound making it difficult to remain standing; his right hand was still clamped firmly over it in an effort to staunch the blood. He gritted his teeth – it hurt more than a single blow from an ordinary fiend ever would. He hadn’t known Jecht was capable of striking with as much force as that; if he had been slightly more charitably disposed towards him, and less afflicted by his injury, he might even have been impressed.

Braska approached, hitching up his robe with his free hand to permit him to run; Jecht followed behind. Once they arrived at the scene and Braska could see what needed to be done, he cast his staff aside and knelt by Auron’s side, gently removing Auron’s bloodied, trembling hand from the wound and placing both his there instead before he concentrated on sending out a strong pulse of white magic.

Immediately, Auron’s pain subsided; the gash in his arm closed. He let out a sigh of relief, raising his eyes to meet Braska’s concerned gaze.

“Are you all right?” said Braska softly.

Auron chuckled briefly. “I am now. Thank you, sir.”

“Don’t mention it,” Braska murmured back, caressing Auron’s bare shoulder with a lingering finger. “Any time.”

Auron found himself looking into Braska’s eyes a moment longer before he abruptly turned away, standing and collecting his discarded sword and gauntlet from the ground and then approaching Jecht. Jecht blinked at him in trepidation: Auron had seemed relaxed enough after Braska healed him, but now he looked serious again. It was possible, Jecht thought, that Auron would retaliate. He wondered whether that was how things worked in Spira: if you wounded a person, even accidentally, maybe they had the right to respond. Jecht was under no illusion about Auron’s abilities: if he was to attack, he knew he would be in trouble.

“That was very effective,” said Auron gruffly. “You can rely on surprise.” He hoisted his sword into its sheath on his back, and stomped off towards the travel agency.

While Jecht was staring dumbly after him, Braska frowned. “Effective?” he echoed. “What’s he talking about?”

“It was me,” Jecht explained. “We were fightin’ – for practice. I didn’t mean to do that to him; we just both moved at the same time, and, you know.”

“I see,” said Braska, suddenly lost in thought. If Auron and Jecht had been practising their swordwork together, he realised, it must mean that they were beginning to get on after all. If Auron cared enough about Jecht to help him with his fighting technique, and if Jecht cared enough about the pilgrimage to consent to working on it – it seemed as if the truce between them that he had been hoping for might be within reach after all. He couldn’t help beaming.

“What?” said Jecht suspiciously, at the sight of Braska’s smile.

“Oh, nothing,” said Braska cheerfully. “Just thinking, that’s all.”

8. Man Up

Braska was fast asleep by the time Auron and Jecht came to bed, and remained silent and unmoving under his blanket when they rose again in the morning; Auron wondered whether he should attempt to wake him, but then decided it would be better to let him rest. He headed to breakfast with Jecht instead, trying to distract himself from his companion’s anarchic eating habits by looking at the recently delivered newspaper.

The front-page article, unsurprisingly, was about Sin’s attack on the Al Bhed: the picture that accompanied it, a blurred still from the sphere footage, was enough to inform him of that before he even tried to read it. He turned to the second page, and slowly deciphered the headline there: New laws debated: machina, transport funding, summoners.

He frowned, deciding this looked like something he needed to be aware of. Gradually, he began working his way down the article, placing a finger by the line he was reading to keep his place, and feeling increasingly disconcerted as he got through more of it. “Oh no,” he muttered.

“Somethin’ bad happen?” said Jecht between mouthfuls of yoghurt.

Auron glanced up at him. “Yeah, maybe.”

“So, what is it?”

“I’m still reading,” said Auron. “You can look in a moment.” He turned back to the paper, letting his lips carefully form the shape of each word as he mentally sounded them out.

“Oh, give it here,” said Jecht impatiently. “I’ll read it out, it’ll be quicker.” He grabbed the paper, turned it to face him, and began reading. “The court of Yevon today debated new legislation that is planned, if passed, to be implemented with immediate effect. The deliberations started early in the morning with a discussion of the funding model for Moonflow crossings –”

“That’s not the important bit,” Auron interrupted him. “Go to the second column.”

Jecht acknowledged the instruction with a scowl, and then started reading again. “After prayers, the subject turned to a controversial bill that aims to impose restrictions on who may become a summoner or a summoner’s guardian. Under the proposed law, only those who submit themselves to an inspection at the citadel of Bevelle and are deemed to be sufficiently pious followers of Yevon will be authorised to undertake the pilgrimage. Temples will be instructed to turn away those who are not sanctioned to visit their fayth.” He lowered the paper. “Looks like we started just in time, huh? You think they’d have tried to stop us comin’?”

“I think they might have,” Auron admitted. “Never mind – keep going.”

Jecht turned back to the paper. “Several amendments to this divisive bill are due to be debated over the coming days, including a clause that would require the registration of all those who are undertaking the summoner’s pilgrimage at present. Should the law be passed with this amendment, any summoners and guardians currently on pilgrimage will be asked to return to Bevelle at their earliest convenience. Newly appointed deputy commander of the warrior monk corps and chief envoy to the Crusaders, Wen Kinoc, said – hey, that name sounds familiar. Did I meet him somewhere?”

“He’s a good friend of mine,” said Auron. “He left me that sphere the night we –” He cut himself off, remembering Jecht had forgotten all about it as soon as the next morning. “What did he say?”

“Wen Kinoc said,” Jecht repeated, “I am pleased to support this motion, and trust the court of Yevon will agree that it is particularly timely. Spira’s good people are accustomed to showing kindness to summoners and their guardians, as the teachings advise, but with the recent increase in the number of pilgrimages embarked on, it is important that this hospitality and assistance not be abused. This law will ensure that those without a hope of succeeding in their pilgrimage will waste nobody’s time.” He laid the paper down carefully. “You sure he’s your friend?”

Auron ignored the question; he was too busy trying to work out what might have motivated Kinoc to say such things. Like many people in Bevelle, Kinoc had never been very comfortable around Braska; but most of them had turned on Auron as well after his troubles, and Kinoc had been one of the few to remain a friend. He was probably doing this for political reasons, Auron reflected: Kinoc had always been one to take whatever unscrupulous opportunity he could for the benefit of his own advancement. Auron had done similar things once or twice. It was unlikely, he thought, that Kinoc really thought the pilgrimage should be the preserve of the most pious Yevonites; he was surely just pretending to agree in order to win respect in his new position. Braska and his guardians’ situation probably hadn’t crossed his mind at all, Auron concluded.

“What does it say next?” he asked quietly.

“Speaking in opposition to the motion,” Jecht went on, “Lady Torroll of Kilika gave a passionate speech in which she cited discrimination against those summoners who begin their journeys in the outer parts of Spira. While these summoners –”

“Stop,” Auron suddenly hissed – he could hear the sound of shuffling footsteps in the corridor. “Lord Braska’s coming – put that away.”

Jecht looked up at him, not understanding the sudden urgency; Auron snatched up the newspaper, hastily folded it, and tossed it under the table. It would upset Braska to see this news, he knew, and after the previous day’s events, he would hardly be starting this one in the best of moods. “Tea, my lord?” he said as Braska slowly walked in. “Toast? We’ll start with toast, shall we, and then you can have some tea. Did you sleep well?”

Jecht averted his eyes; Auron’s terrible attempt at acting as if nothing was wrong was almost worse than the sight of Braska himself, who was cowed and pale. If a grown man were to act like this in Zanarkand, Jecht thought, nobody would take him seriously. Men weren’t supposed to be weak.

Auron placed the toast in front of Braska, hastily arranging an assortment of jams behind it; Braska stared at the spread dully for a moment, and then mumbled, “I’m sorry – I – I can’t face it.” He felt as if he had used all his energy in getting himself dressed and undertaking the brief walk from bed to breakfast; actually consuming the food demanded a strength that was beyond him, to say nothing of the onward journey.

“Right,” said Auron, immediately putting his pretended cheerfulness aside. “We’ll stay here a second night. You’re in no state to travel, sir, and it’s still a long way to Guadosalam. We’re ahead of schedule – we’ll write today off, and see how you’re feeling tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Braska mumbled, blinking as new tears began to form in the corners of his eyes. “I don’t mean to cause inconvenience – it’s just that I can’t –”

“It’s not an inconvenience,” said Auron, more loudly than he intended. He lowered his voice again. “It’s fine, sir. We didn’t expect to get here until this evening. Let’s get you back to bed, and then I’ll tell them we need to stay another night.”

Braska let himself be coaxed out of his chair and led back to their room, Auron’s strong arm around his shoulders; Jecht stared up at the ceiling while they walked awkwardly away, and then turned back to his breakfast in an attempt to forget he had seen any of it. The worst part of all, he thought, was the special soft voice Auron adopted when Braska got like this; the way he suddenly took on a sort of nurselike persona. It made Jecht almost physically recoil.

After seeing that Braska was back in bed and had everything he might need, Auron made his way to the reception desk to inform the staff of their change of plans. Passing Jecht, and ignoring him, he reached the desk and let the clerk on duty know they needed to make a change to the reservation.

“You’re staying another night, right?” said the clerk. “Your friend just spoke to me – it’s all taken care of.”

Incredulously, Auron turned to face Jecht, who reluctantly met his gaze. “You’ve already told them?” said Auron.

Jecht shrugged, taking a sip from the bottle of beer he had acquired from the clerk. “Yeah, thought I might as well.”

“That’s odd,” said Auron, “because I seem to remember you repeatedly saying that you don’t want to take any part in organising this pilgrimage, and that the only thing you care about is getting back to Zanarkand.”

“Look,” said Jecht defensively. “It just seemed like the right thing to do, OK? Wasn’t like there was anything else I was meant to be doin’. But if I’d known you were gonna make a big deal of it, I wouldn’t have bothered.”

Auron raised his eyebrows. “Oh no, don’t let me stop you, if you want to help me prepare for the journey. Maybe later, we can get the rations ready together.”

“Fuck you,” said Jecht with a scowl. “I was just bored, all right? What else am I meant to do all day?”

“Do what you like,” said Auron, “as long as you don’t try to get me involved.”

“Sure,” Jecht shot back. “I guess you’ll be busy anyway, lookin’ after Braska while he lies in bed cryin’ like a little girl.”

Auron’s hands curled reflexively into fists; his loyal defence of Braska had at times turned physical in the past, and he had a brief desire to strike Jecht’s smug face as he had done on that handful of occasions to whichever of his subordinates in the corps had dared speak ill of him. Instead, he took a deep breath and flattened his palms against his thighs, remembering just in time how disappointed Braska would be if he were to lash out. “He’s not well,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m sure you’ve realised that by now.”

“It’s pathetic,” said Jecht. “He needs to man up, you know?”

“Man up?” Auron echoed. “What’s that supposed to mean – you think this makes him less of a man?”

“Guys are meant to be tough,” said Jecht, shrugging. “We ain’t supposed to act like that. Leave it to the ladies, yeah?”

“In case you’d forgotten,” Auron hissed, “his wife was brutally killed –”

“Yeah, three years ago!” Jecht interrupted.

“Brutally killed,” said Auron again, cutting over him in turn, “when they were barely in their thirties, and after he’d given up everything for her! No career, hardly any friends, a little girl to look after – and he was a Yevonite missionary! He was supposed to be the one convincing the Al Bhed to give up their machina so we’d have a shot at getting rid of Sin for good – and then when he didn’t manage it, Sin killed his wife. Can you imagine how lonely, and guilty, and angry that made him feel? How unbearable it must be to walk around every day with a burden like that? Or are you completely heartless?”

Jecht was silent for a moment: put that way, it made some sense, he thought, but he still found Braska’s behaviour deeply unsettling. “If all that stuff happened to a guy in Zanarkand,” he pointed out, “he’d be sad for a while, I guess, but he’d suck it up eventually, you know?”

“Well, this isn’t Zanarkand, this is the real world,” said Auron.

Jecht groaned. “This is a shithole. That’s what it is. All this Sin stuff, no entertainment –” He glanced up at the sphere screen above the reception desk, which showed a group of young men in rubbery yellow trousers, passing a ball to each other with woeful imprecision. “Even your blitzball players are crap,” he remarked, before sighing heavily and sitting down at the nearest table. “Auron, do me a favour and get me another beer, yeah?”

Auron took the seat opposite, leant over the table, and said, “I’m not your slave, Jecht.”

“Just Braska’s slave, huh?” Jecht taunted him.

“We’ve been through this,” said Auron. “You’re a guardian too – it’s about time you started acting like one.”

“Hey, I do act like one,” Jecht protested. “Got a hold on the sword stuff now, ain’t I? And I did that strength trainin’ with him a couple days ago. Back home I’d normally charge for that kinda thing.” It struck him as he said it: he hadn’t even considered asking for a fee.

“And what about Macalania Temple?” said Auron, interrupting Jecht’s thought. “Your behaviour there was disgraceful – just running off like that. Those are the moments when Lord Braska needs us most, and you just –” He waved a hand dismissively, too appalled by the memory of Jecht’s actions to finish the sentence. “I certainly hope you won’t try that again in Djose.”

Jecht narrowed his eyes, ready to retort, but he was interrupted by the appearance of a wizened old man who suddenly approached the table. Clad mostly in green, with a cape, baggy trousers, and an unusual mitre that added at least a foot to his diminutive height, he stared at the two of them from behind a pair of small round spectacles.

“Can we help you, sir?” said Auron, suddenly polite.

“Perhaps, perhaps,” the man said; he had a tremulous voice that made it mostly sound as if he was on his last legs, although as Auron and Jecht were shortly to discover, he was given to the occasional moment of surprising force in his lengthy pronouncements. “You see,” he went on, “I am a historian of this place, by the name of Maechen – for many years I have been conducting research on the ins and outs of Spira: on everything that makes it tick. Indeed, were you to ask me a question about the history of our land, I should be delighted to provide an answer – for, you see, what I truly crave is a captive audience.” He looked between them hopefully, his gaze not quite meeting either of theirs; he was too distracted by some matter of great academic importance to give them his full attention.

“Well, thanks, dude, but all I wanna know about this place is how to get out of here,” Jecht informed him.

“He said history, not geography, you idiot,” Auron muttered.

“A fascinating question,” said Maechen, having mercifully failed to notice Auron’s remark. “Should you travel north from this location, you will find the remarkable region of Macalania, with its woods that sustain a marvellous diversity of plant and animal life. To the south, you will come to Guadosalam, the home of that most ancient and respectable race, the Guado; and to the west, there is the great Thunder Lake. Ah, but who knows what terrible beasties dwell beneath its surface! I shudder to think. Legend has it that High Summoner Ohalland once played blitzball in those very waters.”

“I don’t think you get what I was askin’,” said Jecht, who had very little interest in most of the information he had just been given. “I meant a way of gettin’ out of Spira. I’m fed up of it.”

“Getting out of Spira?” Maechen echoed, his bemusement evident in the deepening of his many wrinkles. “My word, what an unusual idea. In all my long years, seldom have I heard such a proposition. It seems that there may yet be research to be done.”

“It’s a ridiculous idea,” said Auron contemptuously.

“It is certainly a startling one,” Maechen replied. “But a puzzle worth considering, I daresay. One that surely flies over the heads of the common folk of Spira. Alas, their minds are simply too tiny to allow them to think outside the box, as it were.”

Auron frowned, suspecting that he had just been insulted; Jecht yelped with laughter, hastily disguising it with a cough as Maechen turned a curious glance towards him.

“Is there anything else you might wish to know about?” said Maechen, now staring at Jecht quite incisively.

“Actually, there is something,” said Auron, who not only wanted to avoid the subject of Jecht’s origins in the presence of a third party, but was also beginning to wonder whether Maechen might be able to help him in his own endeavours. “I’d like to know if you’ve come across any alternative methods of bringing the Calm. Or hints, even – anything at all, really.”

“Another most peculiar question,” said Maechen approvingly, turning his penetrating gaze in Auron’s direction.

“What’s the Calm?” Jecht said.

“Now that,” said Maechen, “I can answer most authoritatively. When each High Summoner performs his greatest service, the Final Summoning – when he calls forth the Final Æon and makes the very ground quake in terror – when he defeats that most wretched of pests, Sin! Surely you know of Sin, my young friends.”

Auron, who thought friends was somewhat forward at this point, nonetheless nodded brusquely, while Jecht said, “Heard of it, yeah.”

“Well,” Maechen went on, “that is the moment at which the Calm is, as we say, brought. The beginning of a splendid time for the Spiran people – blessed respite from our constant troubles. The time before Sin is born anew, when we have a few short years to live in peace and rebuild our resources.”

“So, how long does this Calm last?” said Jecht, thinking back to the statues of the few High Summoners he had seen at Macalania Temple.

“It depends,” said Maechen. “Lord Gandof’s Calm was a fine twelve years – but Lady Yocun’s, alas, only three. Some say that time will continue to decrease – but they are a rather pessimistic lot.”

“Not that long either way,” Jecht pointed out.

“But better than nothing,” said Auron. “Jecht, the threat of Sin is constant in Spira. There are people who barely sleep because of how terrified they are of waking up to find their families dead. Even three years – even one year – it’s something.”

“Uh huh,” said Jecht, unconvinced. “And you said there’s a chance it might last forever, right?”

“Exactly,” said Auron. “An eternal Calm – that’s what the teachings say. If we can truly atone, then Sin will be gone for good.”

Maechen nodded solemnly. “Quite, quite. We must all have hope in those bold enough to take the summoner’s pilgrimage. The Final Summoning is a drastic act, but one that is capable of quite unexpected consequences.”

“Yes,” said Auron, seizing the opportunity to steer the conversation back towards his question. “But you haven’t heard about any other ways of bringing the Calm? Even rumours?”

“Nothing I can recall at present, alas,” said Maechen. “But I must say, the two of you have given me some meaty puzzles to chew over. I shall have to continue my research posthaste – and when we meet again, perhaps I shall be able to give you answers to your most fascinating questions.”

He stood up, gave a clumsy little bow, and announced, “I bid you good day,” before turning and ambling towards the exit.

Jecht was beginning to wonder why Auron had been so insistent on discussing the Final Summoning; he almost asked him about it, before realising Maechen had mentioned something much more interesting. “Hey,” he said. “He said there’s a lake nearby, right?”

Auron nodded. “Yeah, not far to the west.”

“And Lord what’s his name used to play blitz out there?”

“Ohalland,” said Auron. “That’s right, there are a few stories about this place. There was also the man who worked out how to stop the lightning causing harm. He was an Al Bhed – I forget his name –”

“Do you think I care about that?” Jecht interrupted. “Just thought I could go for a swim out there – it’s been like a whole week since I was in the water. It’s weird, you know? Feels like I’m missin’ something.”

“Oh, right,” said Auron. “Sure. You should ask at the desk if they can lend you something that repels fiends – it’ll be too dangerous to go out on your own otherwise.”

Jecht headed to the reception desk to do so, expecting to be offered some kind of aerosol spray, and found himself heading back in Auron’s direction with an embarrassingly sparkly bracelet snug against his bandaged forearm. “This is meant to keep fiends away?” he said. “Why’s it gotta be so girly?”

Auron shrugged. “There aren’t many types of armour with that property. I suppose that’s the only one they had.”

“Couldn’t we just wear stuff like this all the time, though?” Jecht asked him. “The pilgrimage would be way quicker if we didn’t have to bother with the fiends, right?”

“It’s extremely expensive,” Auron explained. “Anyway, summoners and their guardians are supposed to fight fiends – it’s one of the traditions of the pilgrimage. It’s not meant to be an easy journey. They’re good practice, too: building up strength for when we climb Mount Gagazet. Apparently it’s tough.”

“Right,” said Jecht, bored as usual by another of Auron’s overly earnest and detailed explanations. “Well, see ya later.”

“Take your sword,” said Auron, “just in case.”

Jecht stopped off at their room to pick it up, trying to ignore Braska, who was lying motionless in his bed, staring at the ceiling; he had almost made his way back across the room to the doorway when he heard Braska mumble, “Jecht?”

“Just goin’ out for a swim,” he said, not turning to look at him.

“I’m sorry,” said Braska. “Will you tell Auron?”

“Tell him what?” said Jecht reluctantly.

“That I’m sorry,” Braska said again.

“Oh,” said Jecht. “Right. Sure.” He made a swift exit, and headed out towards the common area, where Auron was still sitting; neither did so much as glance at the other. Jecht felt no remorse for not passing on Braska’s message: he firmly believed that he was too important to be doing such duties. If Braska was that keen to apologise to Auron, Jecht thought as he walked towards the lake, he could get up and do it himself. He was still of the opinion that if Braska only tried a bit harder, he would be able to put his sorrow aside and get on with the pilgrimage.

He was all too happy to forget about Braska and Auron as he reached the edge of the lake. As he had told Auron, he hadn’t had a single chance to go for a swim since arriving in Spira, and that had been over a week ago. It was about the longest he’d gone without getting in the water in his whole life: back at home, he would have gone at least once a day, unless his son had some kind of school commitment that Jecht was required to go to. When he was first training to get into the Abes, back when he was still a skinny teenager, he’d pushed himself to his limits every day; then, once he’d got onto the team, he’d initially dialled back the intensity of his sessions, just circling around the sphere a few times and then calling it a day after that. That was where the rumours about him had originated: the claims that he’d made it to his position through talent alone.

He’d let them believe it: it only increased the myth of the great Jecht, the player gifted like no other. In reality, his rapid rise to stardom had been the result of a lot of luck and a lot of talking to the right people in the right ways – sometimes, indeed, not just talking to them. Fame was a dirty business. He hadn’t been able to go down the bribery route in the early days, so he’d pursued other options, and once he’d managed to scope out the right people, everything had gone well from there. His celebrity had grown exponentially.

More recently, he’d found himself needing to train harder again: a whole new generation of stars was starting to pop up, kids who were barely in their twenties, and Jecht had found his own playstyle slow and outdated in comparison. After long years, he had started needing to make a real effort in training once more, just as he had as a youth. But the persona he had cultivated, the star player who had no need to practise, had to remain for the sake of his image. Instead of using his team’s facilities, he began to train at sea, early in the morning and late at night so nobody would spot him making his way there and back.

To start with, he managed to fool the media: the image of Jecht as the prodigy who relied on pure talent persisted. But some reporters started to notice that he was struggling in the sphere, occasionally caught off guard by the new techniques brought in by the younger players. Stories about his alcohol dependence began to emerge at the same time; and as a result, the rumours started to spread. For the past few months, the celebrity gossip columns in the papers and the afternoon talk shows had been churning out the same stories: speculation that Jecht’s lack of practice had finally caught up with him; that the drinking was slowing his reactions in the sphere, and that despite his enduring popularity with the punters, his manager at the Abes was planning to force him into retirement.

All the while, Jecht continued his clandestine training regime. The extra time he spent at sea meant he was able to keep up with what was going on in the sphere, and to continue to come out on top more often than not. But he had to make sacrifices in other areas, most notably spending time with his family. He had already taken a wrong turn somewhere in his relationship with his son, who was more often than not resentful and emotional in the face of Jecht’s attempts to prepare him for the harshness of life; as for his wife, she was prone to depressive periods, not as a result of some specific trauma like in Braska’s case, but merely as a consequence of a long family history of mental struggles. She clung to Jecht as if he was the only thing that could make her happy.

He tried to take care of them both, but it wasn’t where his talents lay. Tidus, the boy, was just as stubborn as Jecht had ever been; but being a young child, he was understandably volatile, bursting into tears with alarming rapidity. Jecht nonetheless found it irritating: his son had to be a man, and men didn’t cry. He tried to encourage Tidus to toughen up, but that seemed to make him cry even more. Sometimes it seemed as if the mere sight of Jecht was enough to set him off.

So he stayed away, putting in long hours of training in the sea where nobody would find him, and, when he was with his family on the houseboat where they had made a home for themselves, relying on the drink to dull his worries about having messed up his relationship with his son at home and created an unrealistic image of himself in the sphere.

He would have it all back in an instant, though, he knew: that life over Spira any day. He missed his wife and son terribly, although he would never admit it. The adulation he received from the blitzball-watching public was nice, and had cemented his belief that he really was someone special, but it was his family that truly mattered – not that anybody could ever know.

He plunged into the lake without hesitation, immersing himself in the cold water. It was wonderfully fresh: not full of purifying chemicals like the sphere where the Abes played their matches, and not tainted by pollution like the sea outside Zanarkand. There was good visibility, much better than he was used to in natural settings: he could see a few fiends in the distance, large and skinny green fishlike creatures floating around in groups of two or three. They made no attempt at approaching him: the armour he had borrowed was doing its job.

Jecht made a few circuits of the lake, relishing the feeling of being in the water after so long. His hair trailed behind him as he went, sleek and smooth and free; his feet were finally relieved of the dirt that multiple travel agency showers had failed to remove. He was weightless and unencumbered, back where he belonged – or at least, as close to where he belonged as he could get in Spira.

After a long time, he emerged, standing on the lakeshore and shaking the water out of his hair and clothes like a dog. He felt thoroughly invigorated, and bounded back to the travel agency; even the sight of Auron, who was still sitting in the common area but had taken to carefully running his sword across a small, flat stone, wasn’t enough to ruin his good mood.

“Hey!” said Jecht.

Auron looked up, frowned at the enthusiasm of the greeting, and gave a small nod back once he had decided Jecht didn’t seem to be up to anything dubious. “You should use this too,” he said, gesturing at his whetstone. “Your sword’s probably getting blunt by now.”

“Oh, right,” said Jecht, taking a seat opposite him. He looked down at the movements of Auron’s hands, trying to figure out exactly what he was doing, and almost immediately lost interest: his mind was still somewhere in the lake. “You know,” he said, “I’m gonna admit it, I wouldn’t have the patience for that kind of thing. I bet you could do it a hundred times better than I could.”

“Probably,” Auron muttered suspiciously, wondering why Jecht seemed to be complimenting him for what was probably the first time ever.

“So,” said Jecht, drawing his own sword, “it’d be better for you to do it, right? I mean, if I try, I’m just gonna get the technique wrong or somethin’, and then you’ll get all annoyed with me.”

Auron snorted, seeing where this was going. “Right. Let me guess – a favour?”

“If you like,” said Jecht nonchalantly.

“Fine,” said Auron; he took hold of Jecht’s sword. “Only because mine’s done,” he added.

Jecht grinned and settled in to watch, taking in the scene as Auron carefully drew the red sword across the stone. There was something oddly calming about it, Jecht thought. Auron was usually so tense and short-tempered that seeing him doing something like this cast him in quite a different light. The way concentration drew his eyebrows into a frown over his dark eyes; the way he pursed his lips minutely as those same dark eyes moved ever so slightly, their gaze flitting from one target to the next; the way he occasionally reached to his face to take hold of a few stray strands of hair that had escaped his otherwise neat ponytail, and tucked them behind his ear in an automatic gesture – it was inexplicably mesmerising, just as the sight of him bent in prayer at Macalania Temple had been.

Auron was easy on the eye, Jecht reluctantly concluded; and judging by the sort of looks his fellow guardian had been getting from many of the travellers they had passed over the last couple of days, a number of Spira’s women were of the same opinion. It wasn’t the case that Braska wasn’t good-looking, but Jecht was sure it was hard to be drawn in by someone who went around with so much of his body covered up; as for himself, Jecht had initially been certain that his rugged good looks would attract a lot of interest, based on his experiences at home, but maybe Spiran women were into a different type of man. It was indisputable that Auron was the one who received the most attention – although, oddly, he never seemed to notice. There were certain areas where Auron was highly skilled and very much knew it, and yet, in this one, he seemed totally oblivious.

If all those women happened to see Auron’s chest, Jecht thought, he would have no choice but to notice their interest; they would surely make an even more obvious reaction. He himself was still having enough trouble taking his eyes off it on occasions when Auron removed his cuirass, despite having seen what was underneath a few times now; each time, he experienced the repeated realisation that someone could be simultaneously so infuriating and so handsome.

The sword was almost sharpened to Auron’s satisfaction by the time Braska emerged from the bedroom, fully clothed. “Auron,” he said, “a word, please.”

Auron stood and left his station straight away, following Braska back to the room; he stood by stiffly while Braska closed the door and sat slowly on the bed, only sitting down himself once Braska gestured for him to do so.

“How are you feeling?” Auron said.

“Somewhat better,” said Braska, although his expression was grim. “That’s what I wanted to discuss, in fact. Auron, the fayth at Macalania told me I was too weak. She said I needed to be stronger.”

Auron nodded uncertainly.

“And with that in mind –” Braska hesitated. “Auron, I appreciate that you’re trying to look after me, but we shouldn’t be taking days off like this. We should have gone on to Guadosalam today.”

“Sir, you could barely walk this morning,” said Auron. “We wouldn’t have made it.”

“We would have had to,” Braska insisted. “That’s what this is about: pushing through the difficulties. That’s how I can show the fayth I’m strong enough.”

“Sir,” said Auron again, “you’re ill.” Ignoring Braska’s shake of the head, he went on. “This is nothing to do with being strong – of course you’re strong. But when there are setbacks like last night – you know what things like that do to you. Do you really think you’d have been able to spend the whole day casting magic after the state you were in this morning? The plains are dangerous enough as it is – the fiends could have caused real damage.”

“We’d be fine,” said Braska, his voice taking on a stern edge in the face of Auron’s continued defiance. “I’d have had no choice but to cope with it.”

“No,” Auron protested. “You wouldn’t – I’m sorry, but you wouldn’t have lasted ten minutes. And then what would I have been supposed to do, carry you all the way to Guadosalam? With all due respect, sir, that seems like a pretty poor way of showing the fayth how strong you are.”

“Auron!” said Braska sharply. “You’re my guardian – and this is an order. We are to go on – no matter how ill you think I may be. Do you understand?”

“And what if I disobey?” Auron retorted. “Because I still think this is ridiculous –”

“Then Jecht and I shall have to continue without you,” said Braska.

“Unbelievable,” Auron snarled, springing up from the bed. “You know as well as I do that relying on Jecht would be disastrous. I don’t care what you imagine the fayth are trying to tell you – this is completely stupid. If you’re that determined to get yourself killed before we even reach Djose, never mind Zanarkand – I don’t know what you think you’re trying to achieve.”

“You know why I’m doing this, Auron,” Braska hissed. “You know what this pilgrimage means to me. And the fayth want me to push on, I can tell – I can feel it –”

“The fayth,” said Auron, “weren’t the ones taking care of you while you shut yourself in your house for months. The fayth weren’t there when they took your daughter away because you weren’t well enough to look after her. The fayth don’t know you can still barely eat a proper meal. If you want to be strong, Braska, maybe you should start with that, instead of some ludicrous plan to overexert yourself and destroy any chance of ever making it as far as the Final Æon.”

“Auron!” Braska exclaimed. “That’s enough – I can’t listen to any more of this!”

“Well,” said Auron, “I’m glad we agree on something.” He turned and stormed out of the room, strapping his gauntlet on as he did so. He was livid, absolutely seething with rage, and he knew from experience that there was only one way of calming himself down when he got into this kind of temper: taking his sword and throwing himself into a fight until he was exhausted.

In the barracks, there had been training rooms where he had been able to work off these moods in a safe environment; here, there were only fiends. Auron strode into the reception area, shaking with anger, and came face to face with Jecht.

“Where’re you goin’?” the latter remarked, setting his bottle of beer aside.

“Outside,” said Auron. “Training.”

Jecht raised an eyebrow. “On your own? Is that safe?”

“Do you care?” Auron snapped.

“Not really,” said Jecht, “but I bet Braska wouldn’t like it if you got in trouble out there.”

Hearing Braska’s name was enough to enrage Auron still further; he let out a groan of frustration. “Just get out of my way,” he muttered, ignoring Jecht’s expression of mild puzzlement.

Jecht hesitated for a few seconds, and then said, “You know what, I’m comin’ with you. Those fiends are a lot to deal with if you’re on your own, you know? Could be useful to have a bit of backup.”

Auron would much rather have been alone, but he was too angry to waste time protesting. “Fine,” he said. “Just don’t try talking to me, I’m not in the mood.”

Jecht followed Auron outside and watched as he began hacking away at the fiends, occasionally making his own contribution but mostly leaving Auron to it. Auron was attacking with a speed and ferocity that were very unlike his usual style: normally, Jecht reflected, he was much more measured and precise in his swordstrokes. On this occasion, he was landing many more hits than he did normally, but more often than not they were so poorly targeted that they did only a fraction of the usual damage.

The fiends were striking back, of course; not just at Auron but at Jecht as well. Jecht kept himself healed with potions, but every time he raised one in Auron’s direction, Auron waved it off with a scowl. He had sustained several minor injuries, including a few blows to the head that had succeeded in giving him an increasingly painful headache, but still he persevered, swinging his sword wildly at the fiends and occasionally felling them through sheer desperation. Jecht looked on sceptically as Auron visibly became more and more afflicted, practically on his knees and yet still refusing the potions that Jecht thrust towards him.

After that, it only took a few more attacks from the fiends for Auron to lose consciousness, slumping face-first onto the wet ground. Jecht, totally unsurprised, saw off the large reptilian creature that had landed the final hit, and then located some phoenix down, tossing it over Auron’s back.

Auron came to, groaning as he hauled himself back into a kneeling position; Jecht once again shoved a potion in his direction. “If you don’t take this one,” he said, “I’m gonna fuckin’ force it down your throat.”

Auron snatched the potion from him and drank it, then took a few deep breaths and finally scrambled to his feet, dirty and dishevelled but cured of his injuries. He glanced at Jecht, gave him a small nod, and then hoisted his sword over his shoulder, ready to head back inside.

“Hey, wait a second!” Jecht protested, shoving against Auron to prevent him from going any further. “What was all that about?”

“Just … letting off steam,” said Auron reluctantly.

“Steam?!” Jecht squawked. “What, your idea of lettin’ off steam is comin’ out here and trying to get yourself killed?”

“I’m not the one who wants to –” Auron began, and then stopped abruptly. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to talk about it.” He walked on, ignoring Jecht’s further complaints, and led the way into the travel agency.

Braska was sitting at the same table that his guardians had occupied earlier, doing his best to eat a light dinner; he looked up as they walked in, and his gaze fell instantly on Auron. Muddy and drenched by the constant rain, his hair and robe in disarray, Auron looked so miserable that Braska simply couldn’t ignore it. “Auron,” he murmured, at a loss for what he might say next in order to put things right between them.

Auron had been looking away, but at the sound of Braska’s voice, quiet and gentle, he couldn’t help meeting his eyes. He stood there, not bothering to hide how upset he was, feeling Jecht’s curious gaze on him as he stared sorrowfully at Braska’s face.

After a few seconds, Braska broke eye contact; Auron’s look of utter despair was too intense to bear. “Would you get me some more tea?” he asked instead, moving his empty teacup in Auron’s direction as he looked down at the table.

Auron obeyed, taking the cup with only a little less poise than usual, and heading over to the desk to ask morosely for a refill; once it had been supplied, he took it back to Braska without looking at him, and then walked off, not waiting to be thanked.

“OK,” said Jecht, watching him leave, “do you know what that was about? Cos he’s been actin’ real weird tonight.”

Braska knew perfectly well what was going on, having borne witness to Auron’s temper enough times over the past few years. “He’ll be all right,” he said, and then sought to change the subject. “Would you like to be in tonight’s sphere for Yuna, Jecht?” he asked. “I was just about to take it.”

“Course!” said Jecht.

Braska set up the sphere, and had barely greeted Yuna before Jecht launched into an enthusiastic recollection of some blitzball game he had played a few months ago. Listening, Braska found himself glad Jecht had taken the lead; having spent most of the day in bed, feeling awful, and then emerging only to have that terrible argument with Auron, he didn’t have much he could tell her himself. After a while, he even found himself smiling slightly at Jecht’s anecdote, which had turned out to be the story of an occasion when the device that kept the sphere water purified had malfunctioned, and Jecht’s entire team had had to play the whole match covered in foul-smelling green goo.

With the sphere finished, they headed back to their room; Braska was steeling himself to try talking to Auron again, hoping their disagreement wouldn’t be left to fester overnight. When they arrived, though, the room was dark and quiet, and Auron was already under his blanket, turned towards the wall and apparently asleep.

Braska murmured his name again – he even stooped down and laid a hand briefly on Auron’s shoulder – but Auron made no response. Sighing, Braska conceded that he would have to try raising the matter in the morning; he whispered goodnight to Jecht, and then retired to his own bed.

9. Auron’s Plan

It didn’t surprise Jecht at all to learn that Auron was the type of person to hold a grudge. His own disagreements with his fellow guardian were frequent, but fleeting and petty; after about a week of travelling together, they had become tolerant enough of each other to mostly manage to coexist in peace. Whatever had happened between Auron and Braska, Jecht had realised, was altogether different. Breakfast was excruciatingly awkward with the two of them: Jecht attempted to start a conversation a few times, but Auron made no reaction, and Braska’s contributions were terse and distracted. Braska was trying to find some way of reconciling with Auron, Jecht could tell; he kept looking over at him and frowning, or almost saying something before apparently thinking better of it. As for Auron, he had barely said a single word since the previous evening, and now seemed to be refusing to make eye contact with the summoner at all.

When Braska was looking away, though, Auron did something quite different: he slowly raised his eyes, and then began to stare openly at Braska, his expression changing from mere displeasure to absolute dejection. Jecht had rarely seen anyone look so completely miserable before; Auron had borne a similar expression the previous evening after he and Jecht returned from their session fighting the fiends, but Jecht had thought it was a consequence of that ill-fated adventure. At this point, he was starting to suspect that something else might be going on, although he couldn’t put his finger on what. Every time Braska looked up and cast his eyes towards Auron, Auron quickly dropped his own gaze, the abject sorrow on his face giving way to mere irritation.

There was more to this situation, Jecht decided, than a simple disagreement where one party happened to lack the emotional maturity to get over himself – but he still couldn’t work out exactly what the issue was. Not that he cared particularly about whatever was going on with Auron, he reminded himself; it just wasn’t nice to think that both his companions potentially knew yet another thing he didn’t.

“It looks as if we’ve all finished,” said Braska tentatively; before he could ask Auron to go and settle up, Auron abruptly stood and left the room. Braska frowned, staring after him; then, hearing Auron’s low voice as he began to negotiate with the clerk, he looked down and sighed. “I’m sorry about this, Jecht,” he said, speaking in a half-whisper to ensure Auron wouldn’t hear. “We had a bit of a disagreement yesterday. Auron’s – well, he tends to get like this when things don’t go his way.”

“Kinda childish,” Jecht remarked, deciding not to mention the incredibly sad expression that Auron had assumed when Braska wasn’t looking at him.

Braska shook his head. “Well, it’s …” He grimaced. “It’s a difficult subject, my decision, and I sometimes wonder if he’s really …” Trailing off, he let out a quiet sigh. “No, he told me he understood. Sorry, Jecht – I’ll speak to him later and sort this out. It can’t be pleasant for you, having to watch the two of us squabble like this.”

Jecht shrugged. “You’re good, Braska. Ain’t like I care that much about Auron.”

They awkwardly stood, not really knowing what to say to each other, and headed into the common area, where Auron had recently finished paying. Once he had joined them, still without looking either in the eye, they headed out into the rain once more.

Braska had hoped that fighting together might make Auron more inclined to speak to him, but he had no such luck: Auron settled into a position on Jecht’s other side, and continued to look pointedly in a different direction. Casting one of the protective spells on Auron would be a little too on the nose, Braska decided, so he concentrated on black magic. When one of the fiends delivered a rather nasty blow to Auron’s shoulder, Braska prepared himself to deliver a Cure spell, thinking that finally there would be no choice but for the two of them to interact, but Auron reached for a potion and gulped it down before Braska could make his move.

By the time the battle had finished, Braska had made up his mind: he was going to speak to Auron, and he wasn’t going to put it off any longer. He still didn’t know exactly how he would address the matter, but he couldn’t leave things to fester, especially if it meant Auron might endanger his health unnecessarily by refusing white magic. As Auron was lifting his sword onto his back, preparing to move on, Braska sneaked towards him and then took hold of his bare left wrist, forcing Auron at last to turn around and acknowledge him.

“Auron,” he said calmly, once Auron’s gaze had reluctantly turned in his direction. “Let’s not do this – I hate it when we fight.”

Auron blinked a few times as he looked down at Braska’s fingers tight against his wrist, and then up at his patient, concerned face; not for the first time, the sight of those blue eyes made him feel as if someone had struck him. He closed his own eyes, and sighed, and opened them again; Braska was still there, still firmly holding him, still in possession of that indescribable mixture of gentleness and determination that had drawn Auron to him when they had first met at the docks in Bevelle more than five years ago. Braska and his decisions made Auron’s heart ache; he wondered if he would ever know.

“I’m worried about your health,” he muttered.

Braska smiled sadly and shook his head, running his thumb over Auron’s wrist. “I’ll be sensible,” he assured him. “And I couldn’t ask for a better person to be looking after me.”

Auron very much doubted that; for three years now, he had been in this position of having to care for Braska, and he still had no idea whether he was doing the right thing when Braska was in one of his low moods. Auron had never received any instruction on how to look after him – he had merely followed his instinct, trying to make Braska feel better in any way he could, and often failing. It was one of the few areas of his work where he had sometimes felt inadequate. Much of what he had done in the corps came naturally, and the rest had been mastered after thorough training; this, on the other hand, had always seemed unfathomably complex.

“I’m sorry I raised my voice,” Braska went on. “Let’s put it behind us. All right?”

Auron hesitated; he was still reluctant to drop the matter, still sure that Braska would overexert himself and wear himself out. But perhaps that was inevitable on the pilgrimage, he thought, and Braska was right: Auron would be there for him, until their journey ended. He would give almost anything to protect him.

He nodded. “Yes.”

Braska paused, and then drew Auron into a tight embrace, arranging his arms carefully across Auron’s back to avoid the blade of his sword. Auron reacted with a small gasp, which was almost entirely muffled by the lower part of Braska’s headdress. Braska had embraced him before, but only on a handful of occasions, at times when he had been in particular need of support. He had certainly never done it when they made up after an argument; they had had enough of them for Auron to know they usually ended with a gradual, hesitant reconciliation.

Jecht, a few paces ahead of them, happened to look back at that moment and catch sight of the two of them pressed together; he quickly looked away again, his face burning. The sight of two men sharing such a tender moment was completely foreign to him: nobody would ever do such a thing in Zanarkand, at least not in public. As Jecht had repeatedly told Auron, the men where he came from were supposed to be tough; neither gentle and melancholy like Braska, nor volatile and passionate like Auron. If the guys he knew from home had seen him travelling with these two – then again, he realised, there was something undeniably genuine about his two companions. For all Auron’s insistence that there was nothing more important than battle technique, he was at least committed to his principles; and in Braska’s case, despite everything, it was undeniable that at his better moments he normally tried to make sure Jecht felt included in a way the guys from home had certainly never bothered with.

It didn’t matter, he reminded himself with not quite complete conviction. Getting back to Zanarkand was more important than anything that happened in Spira, even if there were times he forgot that.

He waited for Braska and Auron to catch up with him, and then slapped the latter on the back with a smirk. “Stopped actin’ like a grouchy kid, have ya?” he said.

Auron scowled and shook off Jecht’s hand; Braska drew his eyebrows together in concern, wondering if Jecht’s antagonistic behaviour might call Auron’s recently regained good temper into question. “Jecht,” he said, “don’t. Auron’s entitled to express his opinion.”

“Not express his opinion, more like,” said Jecht. “Walkin’ around all morning with a big frown on his face cos he didn’t get his way –”

“Jecht!” said Braska again, while Auron grunted with frustration and lunged towards Jecht, lashing out with his gloved hand. Jecht evaded the blow easily, yelping in amusement. Thinking that would be the end of it, he turned away, but was caught off guard by the feeling of Auron’s hands on both his shoulders, holding him in a firm grip from behind.

“Auron,” said Braska, having changed the target of his ineffectual protest; Auron paid him no heed, and twisted Jecht around to face him. “You are the most infuriating person,” he hissed, “I have ever had the misfortune of meeting, and I –”

The sky flashed white around them in a familiar warning; Jecht, the only one quick enough to react, tried to step back, but with Auron still grabbing him by the shoulders, he was unable to move before the lightning came down right between them, forcing them apart. Both toppled onto the ground in opposite directions, while Braska stood by, wincing as he wondered whether it would be a good idea to cast some conciliatory white magic on either or both of them. Auron got to his feet, still looking murderous, but Jecht merely drew himself into a sitting position and pointed at something in the distance.

“What’re those?” he asked.

Braska and Auron turned around; Auron strongly suspected that Jecht was still up to no good, but when he saw the dark shapes on the horizon, his heart sank.

“Sinspawn,” he said breathlessly. “Fiends that fall from Sin’s body, and –” He glanced at Braska. “We have to fight them.”

Braska nodded, tightening his grip on his staff; Jecht got to his feet, his brow furrowed, and said, “So, does that mean Sin’s here somewhere?”

“Probably not,” said Auron. “But that’s the thing about sinspawn – if nobody gets rid of it quickly enough, it draws Sin. So we need to deal with these as soon as we can.” He looked at Braska again. “Ready, sir?”

The thought that Sin might be nearby was making Braska extremely worried, but he knew Auron was right: if they didn’t focus on taking out the spawn, the situation could get much worse. “I’m ready,” he confirmed, trying to seem confident for the fayth’s sake.

The two of them set off, sprinting towards the place where the sinspawn had gathered – Jecht followed close behind. Arriving at the scene, they all took a moment to catch their breath and evaluate the situation; a group of smaller fiends at about knee height surrounded a larger specimen, which quivered ominously, a putrid black liquid oozing from the seams in its shell.

“Cut through the smaller ones,” Auron ordered his companions. “We need to get to the big one: focus on taking it down.”

“Right!” said Jecht, launching himself towards one of the smaller sinspawn – it didn’t take long to see it off. Auron did the same, approaching the group from the other side, while Braska stood at a distance, casting a string of thunder spells at the principal foe. It didn’t seem particularly receptive to magic damage, but Auron and Jecht were occupied with trying to carve a path through the small ones, slicing in every direction while trying to evade their counterattacks.

They had almost made it to the larger fiend when there was a rumble in the sky and a volley of several more small ones plummeted down, embedding themselves in the ground in place of the creatures Jecht and Auron had already taken out. Jecht bit back a curse and stepped back; one of the fiends had grazed his shoulder as it made its rapid descent. While Braska leapt forward to heal the injury, Auron got to work on the new batch of sinspawn with renewed vigour.

“Cut the ones that matter,” he advised Jecht as he did so, “or they’ll regenerate. Got it?”

“Yep,” Jecht said, joining the fray once more. This time, the two of them managed to forge a way through to the large fiend, and started to hack away at it. Auron’s attacks were having some effect, but Jecht’s were doing little damage; his sword just bounced back from its oily carapace with a dissatisfying clang. “What the hell?” he muttered.

“It’s armoured,” Auron explained, between grunts of effort as he struck the fiend repeatedly with his own sword. “Your sword can’t cut through it – give me a moment, I might be able to break its defences.” He took a few steps back, preparing to charge; then, holding his sword aloft, he made for the sinspawn at full pelt.

“Yeah!” Jecht yelled, taking a break from his own largely useless attacks to pump his fist in Auron’s direction. “Go on, Auron!”

Invigorated by the encouragement, Auron landed his sword on a weak point in the fiend’s shell; it let out a hideous noise, and began to convulse even more wildly. The smaller sinspawn were clustering around Auron and Jecht, battering themselves against the two guardians’ legs, but they ignored the attack and continued their onslaught against the large one. Jecht’s sword was finally doing some damage as it struck right into the fiend’s core, gouging out more of the horrible oily liquid that had coated its shell.

“Nearly there,” Auron panted, before delivering what turned out to be the final blow; both the large fiend and the remaining small ones immediately exploded into an impressive cloud of pyreflies, spiralling up into the gloomy sky. In good weather, it might have been even more spectacular; as it was, it was over in seconds, leaving behind only Braska, his guardians, and the ever-present rain.

Braska surged forward again to see to Jecht and Auron’s injuries; he had mostly escaped unharmed, having been able to cast his spells from a safer distance, although his head was beginning to hurt from the effort.

He was more concerned about how close they had come to encountering Sin, however. Now that the danger from the sinspawn was over, thinking about it was unavoidable; as they walked on, Braska found himself dwelling on the thought of how he might have reacted. It was hard to imagine himself having the fortitude to do anything remotely effective: not only was his roster of æons still far from complete, but the idea of facing the creature that had taken Girl from him was unbearable. Sin was the enemy of everyone in Spira, but for Braska, it was a personal grudge. He stared down at the muddy ground below his feet, trying to think about something less dispiriting, but it was always difficult to cast such thoughts aside.

“What were you sayin’ about my sword earlier?” said Jecht to Auron as they trekked across the plains.

“Hm?” Auron replied.

“While we were fightin’ the sinspawn,” Jecht clarified. “Your sword cut right into it, but mine just kinda bounced off – felt like I wasn’t doin’ any damage at all until you did that thing where you broke its shell.”

“Oh, yeah,” said Auron, remembering. “It’s just a cheap sword. It’s not good against fiends with armour, like that one.”

“Right,” said Jecht. “Hey, what do you mean, cheap? Didn’t you even bother buyin’ me a decent weapon?”

Auron scowled. “They’re practically the only sort you can get in ordinary shops. If you remember, I didn’t have much choice – the armourer picked it out for you. He just doesn’t have a particularly good selection.”

“And there wasn’t anywhere better we could’ve gone?” said Jecht.

“No,” said Auron, glaring at him. Jecht wasn’t to know that Coultan was the only armourer Auron had been certain of being able to visit without getting laughed at, and Auron didn’t fancy a reminder of the way he had come to be regarded by most people in Bevelle. Now that they had been away from the city a few days, he had quickly become used to being treated with respect again, just as he had been in Bevelle itself until things had gone awry. It was refreshing to be able to look a stranger in the eye and, barring a few near misses, to know that the person in question would look back at him without smirking, and that they would behave in a civil manner and have a polite conversation with him.

“How come your sword’s so good, then?” Jecht said, disturbing Auron from his thoughts.

“Because,” said Auron, “I was an officer in Spira’s most elite combat force. It’s not difficult to understand, Jecht.”

Jecht made a face; Braska, despite his somewhat gloomy thoughts, couldn’t help smiling a little. Auron and Jecht’s return to form was a sign that the morning’s tense atmosphere had vanished, and he knew he should be grateful for that. Most of their arguments were inconsequential at this stage.

They walked on, seeing off other, much less dangerous, fiends; Braska’s head was showing no signs of becoming any less sore, but he pushed on, determined to prove his strength to the fayth. As they approached the southern limit of the Thunder Plains, the conversation turned to Guadosalam, the next town on their journey.

“You’ll have to try and be discreet, Jecht,” said Auron. “The Guado are quite conservative.”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Jecht protested.

“Well,” said Auron, “I doubt they’ll be used to –” He gestured towards Jecht’s chest, and then his unkempt hair, and his bare feet, and then gave up on pointing out specific areas and just waved a hand in his general direction. “It just might be a shock for them.”

“It?!” Jecht squawked. “What are you tryin’ to say –”

“The Guado are an ancient race,” Braska supplied hastily. “They mostly keep to themselves – I think that’s what Auron was getting at. But they’re certainly accustomed to summoners’ parties passing through.”

“We’re not exactly an ordinary summoner’s party,” Auron pointed out.

“I suppose not,” said Braska.

“So, what’s this place got in the way of attractions?” Jecht asked. “You gonna be doin’ all that holy stuff?”

“There’s no temple, if that’s what you mean,” Auron told him. “The main feature of the town is – well, we call it the Farplane. I wouldn’t say I know how it works – nobody really does – but it attracts pyreflies, for some reason. People go there to speak with their loved ones who’ve passed on.”

“Hey, hold on,” said Jecht, thoroughly confused by Auron’s last sentence. “You … talk to dead people there?”

“Yes,” said Auron impatiently. “Is it that hard to understand?”

Jecht merely gaped at him; Auron rolled his eyes and turned away, leaving Braska to take up the duty of explaining. “There are different theories about the Farplane,” he said softly. “Some devout Yevonites really do believe that they’re speaking to the spirits of the deceased, but people in Bevelle tend to agree that the Farplane in Guadosalam is unconnected to the one where those spirits actually end up. And the Al Bhed, of course, believe none of it is real at all.”

“So, what,” said Jecht, still just as confused, “there’s two different ones?”

“If you agree with the priests of Bevelle, yes,” said Braska. “The Yevonite belief is that when a person dies, his spirit turns to pyreflies and is sent to the Farplane. But the visions we see in Guadosalam don’t move or speak, so it’s been hypothesised that those are just reflections – the true spirits, and the true Farplane, are elsewhere.”

“Right,” said Jecht, ignoring the hoarseness that was beginning to creep into Braska’s voice. “But fiends are made of pyreflies too, ain’t they?”

“Yes,” said Braska. “Fiends are –” He took a deep breath, cleared his throat, and then said, “Auron, can you explain this to Jecht, please?”

Auron frowned, but obeyed. “They’re human spirits,” he said, deciding that providing a calm and factual explanation might be the best way to stop Braska becoming too upset. “When someone dies, they need to be sent by a summoner in order to pass on to the Farplane. If that doesn’t happen, their spirit has nowhere to go. So, in most cases, it stays on Spira and turns into a fiend, and – well, you’ve seen what those do. All they can think about is taking vengeance on the living. It’s a horrible way to go out.”

“So,” said Jecht, “when we kill fiends, we’re actually – you mean, they were already dead, and we’re just, like, getting rid of ’em –”

“We’re putting their souls to rest,” said Braska, not looking at him. “Ending their torment.”

Jecht nodded. “Right, yeah.”

He considered as they walked on, finding it all a bit hard to believe. Fiends turned up in Zanarkand occasionally, once every two years or so; the city police were normally sent out to see them off. It was always big news; Jecht remembered a time when his spectacular achievement of five goals in a championship final had failed to take the top spot among the headlines one evening, demoted by a report on a sighting of some “dangerous unidentified creatures” on the city shore. He had been furious, and had refused to speak to the press for an entire week after that; what he hadn’t taken notice of at the time was that when the creatures had been caught and, supposedly humanely, put to death, they had turned out to be made not of flesh and blood but of something that was reported as a strange multicoloured gas.

That gas had been pyreflies, he now understood – and those pyreflies, in turn, were somehow human spirits. In Zanarkand, the idea of even possessing a soul had been ridiculed; science was seen to have refuted that long ago. Life seemed somehow more profound here in Spira, Jecht thought: with Sin and Yevon and these strange ways of being reborn after death, there was a sense of meaning that Zanarkand and its constant entertainments lacked. But, he reminded himself, the bright lights of his home were infinitely preferable to the gloom and drudgery of the place where he had ended up.

“Will you be visiting the Farplane, sir?” Auron asked Braska, when it seemed that the summoner was more composed.

Braska sighed and shook his head. “She wouldn’t have wanted me to,” he said quietly. “The Al Bhed don’t believe in it at all – neither the Farplane in Guadosalam, nor any other. It would be disrespectful, I think, if I were to go up there and conjure her up to stare at.”

“Do you think they’re right?” Auron couldn’t help asking.

“Perhaps,” said Braska. “Forgive me, Auron, this must sound incredibly blasphemous to you. I spent a long time among them, as you know, and, well, one does tend to find one’s opinions change in that sort of situation.” He attempted a smile. “I know some people find it a comfort to go up there and see the faces of their loved ones, but – I must confess it seems rather futile.”

Auron nodded.

“But what about you?” said Braska. “I’m sure there are people you’d like to see.”

There certainly were: Auron knew death as well as anyone in Spira. He had been expecting to see lost comrades and relatives on the Farplane; the thought that Braska might not be going there himself hadn’t occurred to Auron until now. He had imagined that they would go up together, and that Braska would slip off to pay quiet homage to Girl, leaving Auron to summon the visions of his own friends and loved ones. But, he realised, seeing them silent and unmoving would be a poor substitute for any real interaction – and above all, Braska clearly thought little of it.

“No, you’re right,” he said. “It wouldn’t really be them, would it? I can’t see much point in going.”

Braska smiled again, with a little more success. Auron really was remarkable, he thought; he had never met another Yevonite who had the sense to think for himself. “Don’t let the priests hear you say that,” he said; “they’ll think I’ve corrupted you.”

“I think that would be the least of their complaints about me, sir,” said Auron, and Braska even managed a chuckle.

They crossed the last stretch of the Thunder Plains as the afternoon drew on; elsewhere in Spira, the shadows would have been beginning to lengthen, although it was impossible to surmise as much under perpetual cloud cover. The storm, of course, had continued throughout their journey, and by the time they reached the southern limit of the plains, the constant rain and intermittent lightning strikes had taken their toll: all three of the travellers were sore and irritable. Braska’s headache had worsened as the day went on; he had kept using black magic against the fiends, determined to prove his strength, despite Auron’s tentative suggestions that he might let his guardians handle the battles on their own.

Once they emerged from the brief tunnel that led into the town of Guadosalam, Jecht looked around with interest: once again, it looked totally different from anything he had seen so far in Spira. He was beginning to realise that these sudden changes of climate were commonplace here. Now, they seemed to be inside an enormous, twisted tree: its branches formed walls and aerial walkways, with the brightly coloured doors of homes and shops set into the hard wood. Gaps in the branches revealed not the sky but a kind of stained-glass substance that cast tinted light onto the ground; it was impossible to catch a glimpse of what lay beyond, but Jecht suspected that after the dark grey skies of the Thunder Plains, everything would would be bright and clear again. The whole place was vibrant and alive – just as busy as Bevelle, but with a very different spirit.

The oddest thing of all, Jecht realised, was the appearance of the people; they looked so strange that he briefly wondered whether he really had gone too far with his drinking. The fingers that protruded from the sleeves of the tall, gangly locals’ robes were impossibly long; their hair seemed hard and twisted, just like the treelike structure of their home; and their faces were marked with prominent veins in colours that seemed to vary from one person to the next.

“Uh, who are these guys?” he said.

Auron frowned. “The Guado. Be polite.”

“OK,” said Jecht, “but why do they look like that? You know, with the vein stuff, and the massive hands.” He wiggled his own fingers to demonstrate.

“Don’t,” Auron hissed. “I don’t know, they’re just different. Stop staring.”

He led the others to the inn in the centre of the town and arranged a room for the three of them while Braska staggered into a seat and began to massage his temples, and Jecht reached for one of his beer bottles, glancing around the reception area.

“I’m gonna go take a look around this place,” he told Auron.

“Fine,” said Auron, who cared very little about how Jecht was going to spend the evening. “Just try not to make a fool of yourself.”

Jecht snorted and headed out, while Auron took the room keys he had been given and passed them on to Braska. “You should go and lie down,” he said, before hastily adding, “sir.”

“Aren’t you coming?” Braska mumbled.

“No, there’s someone I need to see,” Auron explained, and made a swift exit before Braska could question him further.

He was making an enquiry that he didn’t want Braska to know about. During his investigations before the pilgrimage had begun, Auron had found that the Guado might be of particular use to him in his quest to find some alternative to the Final Summoning, for one important reason: they had an extensive collection of archives that contained material not held in Bevelle. The Guado’s conversion to Yevon was recent, the result of the efforts of their relatively forward-thinking leader, Lord Jyscal; in their collections, they still held spheres that bore records of the kind that Yevonite priests would have seen fit to destroy. There had been a long public dispute about it, in fact, which Auron just about remembered. Bevelle had mandated that the Guado get rid of certain elements of their collection once they converted, but they had refused, maintaining that their new loyalty to Yevon’s teachings was on their own terms. Jyscal had personally stepped in, and with his intervention and the need to maintain a cordial relationship with the Guado due to their being the custodians of the Farplane, the priests had withdrawn their complaint.

Auron had been given the address of the Guado archivist, Byelas. He headed to the house, knocked on the door, and, as soon as it opened, sank into a respectful bow of Yevonite greeting, for possibly the first time in several weeks.

“Good evening, sir,” he said. “I am here as a summoner’s guardian, and I –”

“No access to the records,” Byelas interrupted him.

Auron straightened up, frowning. “I assure you, sir,” he said, “I will behave with the utmost discretion. Until recently, I was a high-ranking officer in the warrior monk corps – Bevelle can vouch for me.” The last part was certainly a lie, but Auron was prepared to lie as much as he needed for the sake of gaining access.

“No exceptions,” said Byelas, shaking his head gravely. “Don’t you think I get summoners’ guardians coming here all the time, wanting to know about Zanarkand? I’m not running a sphere theatre here, boy – this is the most extensive collection in Spira, and it’s not open to humans.”

“I’ll swear any oath you want,” said Auron. “I’ll pay, if you’ll take gil. I’ll – I’ll let you take me in blindfolded, and I’ll only watch one sphere, and then I’ll never bother you again – please, sir, whatever conditions you require –”

“I said no,” said Byelas, “and I meant it.” He closed the door.

Auron swore under his breath, looked down at the ground for a moment, and then knocked again. Unsurprisingly, there was no response, so he kept knocking. After several minutes, Byelas appeared once more, opening the door only a few inches; Auron nonetheless managed to get his foot into the bottom of the gap, and used it to wedge the door open.

“Go away,” said Byelas.

“You wouldn’t want me to make a scene,” Auron hissed, raising a hand to the hilt of his sword; politeness having failed to get him anywhere, he had decided to try a different approach.

Byelas laughed. “As if you’d dare attack one of Lord Jyscal’s trusted advisors. Leave me alone, boy.”

“I will not,” said Auron. “You think I’m worried about your people retaliating? I’ve got Bevelle on my side – if this turns into a diplomatic incident, it’s the Guado who’ll come off worse.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Byelas, but the threat had made him a little less sure. If this was some kind of test of the Guado’s loyalty to Yevon, he thought, there would indeed be repercussions. On the other hand, it was impossible for humans to enter the archives, and that was non-negotiable.

He looked over the young man in front of him: Auron looked tense and tired, but he lacked the sheer exhaustion that affected most guardians who had accompanied their summoner all the way to the southern regions of Spira and back again. The residual dampness in his clothes and hair, he estimated, were also a sign that he had come south from the Thunder Plains rather than in the other direction.

“You’re not long out of Bevelle, are you?” he said.

“A week,” Auron replied. “Why?’

Byelas nodded, ignoring the question. “As I thought. Do you know how many summoners come through from Bevelle, thinking they’re going to make it all the way south and then back here, before they fail or give up or get killed somewhere? Where’s the furthest south you’re going – Kilika?”

“Besaid,” said Auron stiffly.

“Right,” said Byelas, “then come back once your summoner has the æon from Besaid Temple. We can discuss this then – I’ll know you might be in with a chance of making it.”

“If you don’t keep your word,” said Auron, “I will raise this in Bevelle, and there will be consequences.” It was a total lie – Auron knew full well that anything he might raise in Bevelle before completing the pilgrimage would be ignored – but he was confident that the news of his disgrace wouldn’t have spread to the insular Guado community.

“Noted,” said Byelas. “Good luck on your pilgrimage.” He attempted to close the door, pulling it tight against Auron’s boot and quite deliberately trapping his foot in the process; Auron stifled a gasp of pain, withdrew his foot from the gap with some difficulty, and limped back to the inn.

Braska had had a short nap and returned to the inn’s common area to request a warm compress for his head and a cup of tea; he was finishing off the latter as Auron hobbled in, looking thoroughly bad-tempered.

“Are you hurt?” said Braska.

Auron shook his head. “It’s nothing. I just … tripped on something.” He sat down with a grimace; having to walk back from the archivist’s house had made the injury increasingly painful.

“That’s not like you,” said Braska, who was the clumsier of the two of them by far. He set the compress on the table; it had mostly cooled anyway. “Show me?”

Reluctantly, Auron removed his boot to let Braska cast a quick healing spell, mumbling his thanks and putting the boot back on as soon as the pain had receded.

“How’s your friend?” said Braska.

Auron frowned. “Sorry?”

“You said you were meeting someone,” Braska explained. “I assumed it was – although I can’t say I’ve ever known a human to have a Guado friend –”

“Oh. No, she is a human,” Auron invented. “She’s just working here, at Lord Jyscal’s mansion.”

“Goodness,” said Braska, genuinely surprised. “I didn’t think they’d employ humans, either.”

“Well, they do say Jyscal wants to improve human-Guado relations,” Auron pointed out.

“Oh yes, I had heard that,” said Braska. “Quite admirable.”

“What about you, sir?” said Auron quickly, keen to change the subject – he was close to losing track of how many lies he had told in the last hour. “How’s the headache?”

“Tolerable, I suppose,” said Braska. “Auron, there’s something I’ve been thinking about. We need to tell Jecht about how the pilgrimage ends. We’ve been keeping him in the dark too long – it’s not fair.”

“Do you think?” said Auron.

“Yes,” said Braska insistently. “The longer we leave it, the worse it’s going to get; he needs to know the truth. He was talking to me about how everyone’s going to celebrate, once it’s over, and how Yuna will be so glad to have me back, and –” He sighed. “I could hardly bear to listen to it.”

“It’s just difficult to imagine that a grown adult could know so little about all of this,” Auron mused.

Braska nodded. “But you do believe him now, don’t you? I know you were convinced he was making it all up, but I really do think he’s telling the truth.”

“Yeah, I believe him,” Auron admitted. “There’s no other explanation – nobody would pretend to be as stupid as that.”

“Auron,” said Braska with gentle admonishment. He paused, and then added, “Would you tell him about the Final Summoning, then? Tonight?”

“Yes, my lord,” said Auron. “I’ll tell him.”

“Thank you,” said Braska, reaching out to give Auron’s clothed arm a brief squeeze. “Now – I’m in desperate need of distraction. I expect you want some dinner – shall we go and see what’s available?”

The fact that Braska was willingly raising the idea of going out to eat was a sign that his mood was relatively stable. Auron tried his best to allow that knowledge to lift his own spirits as they went in search of a café. His attempt to get into the Guado archives had been fruitless, and his forthcoming conversation with Jecht would be difficult; but, he reminded himself, at least Jecht had got himself out of their way for now, and he would be able to have a pleasant dinner out with Braska, like in the old days.

Indeed, had it not been for the fact that everyone around them was a Guado, and that Braska discreetly asked for a smaller portion as he ordered his food, the evening would have been just like those that the two of them had spent together in Bevelle years ago, when they had first got to know each other. At the time, Auron had been enjoying a meteoric rise through the ranks of the warrior monks; Braska, on the other hand, was already vilified in Bevelle, but he was living a mostly happy life in the company of his wife and daughter. The friendship he and Auron had developed had turned a few heads, but at the time, Auron’s adherence to the teachings had seemed otherwise exemplary, and even those who resented him for his swift promotions could find nothing to complain about.

Having eaten, they headed back to the inn. Jecht had returned some time earlier from his own exploration of the town, and had settled into the seat Braska had occupied previously with a few beers that he had ordered from the reception desk.

“Hey guys,” he said as the others walked in. “Been havin’ fun?”

“Yes, it’s been quite a pleasant evening,” said Braska.

“Cool,” said Jecht, not especially caring about what his companions had been up to. “Hey, you didn’t tell me the Guado ain’t actually human, Auron! That explains why they’re so freaky-lookin’!”

“Keep your voice down,” Auron muttered, offended on the Guado’s behalf.

“Like, I thought you meant it was some kind of genetic thing,” said Jecht, using vocabulary that meant nothing to Auron and Braska, “but it turns out, even though they can walk and talk and stuff, they’re literally not humans. Do you guys not think that’s kinda crazy?”

“Wait until he sees the Ronso,” Braska murmured, and Auron suppressed a snort; the seven-foot-tall, blue-furred, somewhat catlike creatures would be sure to give Jecht a shock.

Braska gave Auron a little pat on the shoulder, and then said, “Well, I’m exhausted – I shall have to turn in. I’ll leave you to it.”

Auron nodded, suddenly sombre – he knew Braska was referring to what they had spoken about earlier, the need to inform Jecht about what happened at the end of the pilgrimage. Jecht was clearly drunk, he thought as he cast an eye over him, although he supposed it would have been a rarity to find him sober. Carefully, he took the seat opposite, forcing himself not to avert his eyes from Jecht’s scruffy, infuriating face.

“Put that down,” he said, nodding towards Jecht’s mostly empty beer bottle, “and listen to me. This is important.”

Reluctantly, Jecht set the bottle on the table in front of him. “What?” he said.

“I have to tell you something,” said Auron. “It’s about the pilgrimage. At the end of the journey, if Lord Braska gets all the æons and makes it to Zanarkand – he’ll have to receive the Final Æon there, and –” He changed tack. “When a High Summoner defeats Sin, and calls the Final Æon –”

Even speaking about it in this impersonal manner, he found it so difficult to say. He always had, ever since Braska had first confessed he intended to follow the summoner’s path.

“The High Summoner dies,” he managed at last, looking down at the table; Jecht, who had lifted his beer bottle again and begun to take a swig, fed up with Auron’s dithering, immediately inhaled sharply, and beer flooded into his windpipe.

He bent over the table, coughing furiously, while Auron sat there and looked on with increasing rage. It was just like Jecht, he thought, to play the fool at a crucial moment – it was almost as if he deliberately set out to humiliate Auron at the worst possible time.

Jecht’s throat was burning. “Fuck, Auron,” he spluttered as soon as he found himself able to talk, “get me some water, will you? I can’t breathe here –”

Auron stayed still for a moment; he was even more disinclined to help Jecht than he might usually have been. Finally, although not after slamming a fist onto the table in fury, he got up and retrieved a glass of water from the reception desk, setting it in front of Jecht with an amount of force that he hoped adequately conveyed his displeasure.

Jecht snatched up the glass, drinking the water down between coughs; when it was drained, he gave in to a final bout of coughing and then said, hoarsely, “So, if Braska gets to Zanarkand – he’s gonna die?”

“That’s what normally happens,” said Auron impassively.

“And,” said Jecht, “you ain’t upset about that? I thought you’d be tryin’ to stop him.”

“I –” said Auron. He sighed, and sat down again. “I did try to stop him. He wouldn’t hear of it. Anyway, it’s fine. It won’t happen.”

“Uh huh?” said Jecht.

Auron considered: he certainly didn’t trust Jecht enough to feel wholly comfortable admitting his plan to him, but on the other hand, having to keep it secret so far had just been yet another thing to worry about. “I’m going to find a way to save him,” he said, giving in to the urge. “There has to be something. I did some research before we started the pilgrimage, and there are more things I can consult on the journey. I’ll find a solution.”

“For the first time in, what was it,” said Jecht, “a thousand years?”

“I’ve never failed in anything before,” said Auron. “I won’t fail in this. It’s the most important thing I’ll ever do.”

Jecht nodded, unconvinced. “Right. Gotten anywhere so far?”

“There’s still time,” said Auron. “Anyway, try to be sensitive around Lord Braska, will you? He thinks he’s not going to survive this. He doesn’t need you talking about how happy everyone’s going to be when Sin’s defeated.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know!” said Jecht, exasperated. “You didn’t tell me! Fuck, Auron, it wasn’t like I did it on purpose.”

“Well, you know now,” Auron snapped; Jecht was beginning to irritate him again. He stood up, and said, “I’ve had enough of this. The stench of your beer is making me feel sick.”

He marched off, down the corridor and into the room they had taken, trying not to make his displeasure too evident as he came face to face with Braska, who had just finished recording the evening’s sphere for Yuna and changed into his nightshirt.

“How did he take it?” Braska asked.

Auron shook his head impatiently. “You know what he’s like. I don’t think he’s that bothered.”

“That’s good,” said Braska, clambering into bed and pulling the blanket over himself. “It’s the best outcome for all of us. I hope he sees that.”

Jecht, in fact, was more affected by the news than he really wanted to be. As much as he had kept telling himself he didn’t care about Spira, this latest revelation about the pilgrimage had got to him. Braska meant well, he decided while making a start on his next beer: the news that the pilgrimage was expected to end in his death was undeniably unwelcome. And as for Auron, and his surely fruitless efforts to prevent the inevitable – maybe that, Jecht considered, went some way towards explaining why his fellow guardian was always so irritable and quick to anger. Not to mention the look of utter distress and misery he had seen on Auron’s face that very morning: he was beginning to understand the reason for that, too.

He wasn’t going to feel sad about things that happened in Spira, he told himself; the only thing he cared about was getting home. And yet the thought of how tragic the pilgrimage had to be, and the image of Auron’s grief-stricken face, were sticking with him, preventing him from enjoying his beer as he contemplated how miserable the whole situation was. There was only one thing to do, he decided: get really drunk, more drunk than he had been for a long time, and blot the whole thing out. Standing, he stumbled over to the reception desk and ordered as many beers as he could carry.

10. A Promise

Jecht eventually made his way to the room they had booked several hours later, still clutching several unopened bottles of beer and making an extremely poor attempt to settle on his mat to sleep. After a few minutes of his noisy tossing and turning, Auron had had enough; he grabbed Jecht by the shoulder, hauled him out of the room, and, after a moment’s thought, continued to drag Jecht along with him until the two of them had left the inn altogether. Leaving Jecht to disgrace himself in the common area of the inn was just as bad as having him do it in the bedroom, he had decided: it would bring even more shame upon him and Braska. Once they were outside, he finally let go of Jecht, who fell awkwardly to the ground, somehow managing to arrange himself into a sitting position.

“What’s going on, Auron?” he mumbled, looking up at his fellow guardian with red, wet eyes. “What’s the matter?”

“Lord Braska’s trying to sleep,” Auron hissed back, “and you’re making an absolute disgrace of yourself –”

“Ah, what’s new,” said Jecht, before letting out a long, loud belch.

Unable to look at him any longer, Auron turned and marched back inside, taking care to move quietly once he got back to the bedroom. Braska appeared to be asleep, even after the disturbance caused by Jecht’s entrance, but Auron was certain that he had done the right thing in removing him from the room. He pulled his blanket over himself and lay there, staring at the ceiling, until his anger had dissipated enough to let him drift off.

Morning came; when Braska and Auron awoke, Jecht was nowhere to be seen. Auron tried not to make his relief too obvious.

“Where’s Jecht?” Braska remarked, some time after the two of them had sat down to breakfast.

“Outside, probably,” said Auron, and then he explained what had happened.

“Oh,” said Braska gravely, putting the rest of his food aside. “I do hope he’s all right.”

“His behaviour was appalling,” said Auron unrepentantly. “You need your sleep, sir – you wouldn’t have got much last night if I hadn’t taken him out.”

“I suppose so,” said Braska. It was true – his energy was a precious resource, and it was always important that he got a good night’s sleep, especially on the pilgrimage. Auron had been looking out for him, he told himself.

On finishing breakfast, Auron headed to the reception desk to pay, finding to his extreme displeasure that Jecht had added all his drink to the party’s bill. Some expert negotiation sufficed to lower the price significantly, but even after doing that, the total was still eyewatering. He stomped back towards Braska without bothering to conceal the fact that he was already in a foul mood before the day had even really begun. Braska almost asked, but thought better of it.

“Time to move on, then?” he said instead.

Auron grunted his assent, leading the way outside. There, as expected, they came upon Jecht, who was slumped against the wall of the inn, surrounded by empty bottles; flecks of vomit clung to his beard, although he had mercifully succeeded in not getting any on his clothing. He was sleeping noisily, snoring and muttering incomprehensibly to himself.

Holding his breath in an attempt to avoid taking in the smell, Auron stepped forward, took hold of Jecht’s bare shoulder, and shook him until he was awake.

Jecht opened his eyes; they gradually focused on Auron. “Oh, it’s you,” he said.

Auron had hoped Jecht might be merely hungover by this point, but he was clearly still deep in the throes of drunkenness. “We have to go now, Jecht,” he said, deciding it wouldn’t be worth mentioning the extortionate bill he had had to pay. “Come on.”

Jecht made a feeble attempt at getting to his feet before deciding it wasn’t worth the effort; it seemed unusually difficult. He waved a hand towards Auron instead, wondering whether that might get him to go away.

“I’m sorry, my lord,” said Auron, turning towards Braska. “I should have taken the drink away from him last night – I just thought, surely he’d stop –”

Braska shook his head. “You’re not his keeper, Auron. This is …” He sighed. “Disappointing. But he has the right to do as he pleases.”

“Not when it’s our money he’s wasting,” Auron said, and in answer to Braska’s puzzled look, he explained: “He had it all put on our bill. It made quite a dent – we’ll have to be careful about what we spend for a while.”

Auron and Braska had pooled their money to use on the pilgrimage; Braska had had much more of it to start with, even after signing away most of his savings to pay for Yuna’s keep. There was an additional small sum he had set aside for personal use on the journey, not telling Auron at the time, but he now saw it might be required for more mundane purposes than he had intended.

“I brought along a few extra gil,” he admitted. “A little travel money, I suppose. I thought maybe I’d see something Yuna might like, and I could have it posted home – well, it doesn’t matter. If we have to use it, then …” He looked at the ground and shrugged.

“Sir,” said Auron.

“No, it’s all right,” said Braska. “It was a silly idea. If we need it for our board and lodging, then that’s that – it’s not as if there’s any alternative.”

“I suppose not,” said Auron doubtfully. “Let’s hope it won’t come to that, anyway. If we really get into dire straits, the travel agencies ought to let us stay for free – summoner’s privilege.”

“Ah, of course,” Braska mused, before turning his attention back to Jecht. “We should be moving on, shouldn’t we?” he said. “Despite everything?”

Auron nodded, his brow furrowing as he followed Braska’s gaze towards their companion; Braska, meanwhile, approached Jecht and addressed him in the sort of tone he might have used to speak to Yuna five years earlier. “Good morning, Jecht,” he said. “It’s time to go. Can you stand?” He turned back to Auron. “Perhaps you could help him up?”

The thought of touching Jecht for any longer than a second when he was in this state made Auron’s skin crawl, but he steeled himself and then stepped forward, taking hold of one sticky hand and grabbing Jecht around the waist with his other arm. After tugging him upright, he tentatively let go, and found that now Jecht was on his feet, he was quite capable of standing unaided, even if he did sway quite dramatically from one side to the other while doing so.

The walk out of Guadosalam and into the woods that bordered it on the south side sobered Jecht up enough for him to gain some idea of what he was supposed to be doing; by the time they encountered the morning’s first fiends, he was eager to fight. But he was still far too addled to have a hope of targeting his attacks correctly, instead slashing his sword about with such imprecision that he ended up doing more harm than good. Auron found himself forced to spend more time defending himself and Braska from Jecht’s blows than actually attacking the fiends, managing to sneak in the odd swordstroke here and there at times when Jecht was too confused to target anything at all. He was furious, of course – utterly disgusted by Jecht’s behaviour, and ashamed and embarrassed by how it reflected on the group as a whole – but he didn’t want to upset Braska by starting yet another argument. Besides, he thought, Jecht was still too drunk to engage usefully with anything that Auron might say to him; so he kept quiet, stewing in his anger.

“He’s not usually this bad, is he?” Braska murmured, briefly pressing a finger against Auron’s arm to heal a graze that Jecht himself had unintentionally delivered. “Do you think something’s upset him?”

“He’s a disgrace,” said Auron. “Totally irresponsible – I’m so sorry you have to be involved in this, sir.”

They were drawing near to the Moonflow now: the wide river that divided the northern and southern halves of mainland Spira, famous for its calm waters and for the high concentration of pyreflies that settled there by night, creating striking rainbow patterns that the river reflected and amplified. Auron had witnessed it once or twice before, travelling with the corps; it really was a striking sight, and was known justifiably as one of the most beautiful of Spira’s natural wonders. Even during the day, the lilies that floated on the surface of the water were enough to stop passersby in their tracks.

On his previous visits, Auron had stood and marvelled at the Moonflow along with his comrades; but now, he unexpectedly found himself experiencing a very different reaction. It was just like the way he had felt as he prepared to cross Macalania Lake: the sight of the water was enough to make him suddenly feel ill. He could feel his heart thumping against his chest; his knees were weak; he found himself struggling to breathe, and began to gulp down lungfuls of air as discreetly as he could, hoping his sudden and inexplicable distress wouldn’t cause any disruption to the journey.

Before he could think much more about it, a group of fiends rose to attack them, and with the distraction, Auron miraculously found himself able to act somewhat normally, even if he felt numb and disorientated as he did so. Jecht was still worse than useless in the fight, doing more damage to Auron and Braska than to the fiends; once they had been seen off, Auron found himself no longer able to keep quiet about it, faced with the choice between confronting Jecht and confronting his own fears.

“There’s no point in even trying to fight when you’re in that state,” he growled. “Put your sword away before you start doing serious damage.”

“I ain’t gonna do that,” Jecht mumbled. “I can still fight! Played some of my best matches after a few beers –”

“You’ve had more than a few beers,” Auron hissed. “You can barely stay standing. You’re an embarrassment.”

“Don’t you fuckin’ –” said Jecht, before abruptly changing tack. “You just wait, next fiend we see, I’m gonna take it down, yeah? Then you’ll see, you’ll fuckin’ see, won’t you.”

Auron turned away from him, disgusted by his drunken rambling – but then, looking in the other direction, he caught sight of the Moonflow again, and his chest felt as if it was about to burst from pure terror. He turned abruptly again and fixed his gaze on the trees, concentrating on the patterns their branches formed in an attempt to stave off his mounting nausea. Meanwhile, Jecht, determined to make good on his promise, dashed on, following the path as it turned a corner and heading out of sight.

Braska had looked away while they had their argument, trying not to let it agitate him; he let his gaze settle on the Moonflow. He too had been here before, with Girl; the memory was a little unclear, but he concluded that it must have been while they were travelling to Bevelle to set up their home. They had stood on this bank, he remembered, or perhaps it was the bank on the south side, and they had looked out over the river and embraced, overcome by its natural beauty and the fact that they could freely be together at last. He had gently taken hold of the strap of her vest that lay across her left collarbone, and moved it away, and kissed her in that very spot; and they had looked at each other with such fierce love, such unwavering devotion.

He could feel his eyes beginning to sting; the memory was so frustratingly patchy. He wasn’t even sure that he could properly remember what she had looked like, these days: there was an image of some kind in his mind, but as soon as he tried to concentrate on its features, it shifted and became unknown. Even the sight of the Moonflow, which had delighted him so much on that occasion, now had no effect. He looked out over its surface, and imagined himself stepping forward, sinking into the water below. It probably wouldn’t take long to drown, he thought, and then he could have what he wanted.

It wasn’t the time, he reminded himself with some reluctance; the pilgrimage needed to come first. He wiped the back of his hand across his face; it wouldn’t be right to worry Auron, still so soon after the two of them had had that horrible argument about whether he was up to the journey. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” he remarked, having decided that was the sort of thing that someone might ordinarily say in his position; he hoped the tone of his voice didn’t give away the fact that he was quite sure he would never be moved to find anything beautiful again.

There was no reply; Braska turned around to see where Auron had got to, and found him leaning against a tree, pressing into it with not only both his hands but his forehead as well. His eyes were screwed tightly shut, and as Braska approached, he realised that Auron was shaking.

“Auron?” said Braska, puzzled. “Are you –”

He was interrupted by the sound of a commotion in the southeasterly direction: it suddenly sounded as if a lot of people were screaming and shouting. The noise was coming from the dock that was used to cross the Moonflow: the place that Jecht would have reached once he followed the path around the corner and headed on a little further.

Auron raised his head. “Jecht,” he croaked, before immediately drawing his sword and bolting in the direction of the continued hubbub. Braska followed as fast as he could, hoisting up his robe to allow himself to run; he failed to match Auron’s pace, but arrived on the scene soon enough to see what was going on.

The dock was swarming with people in a state of agitation. The two Hypello that operated the crossing were attempting to keep order, but to little effect; their race had never been particularly good at taking charge. The shoopuf, the enormous elephantine animal that carried travellers across the Moonflow, was stamping its huge feet and bellowing in distress, curling and uncurling its long trunk; strange black blood trickled out from a wound in one of its hind legs. And in front of the creature stood Jecht, brandishing his sword, the blade of which bore a telltale smear of the same dark, sticky blood.

The need to avert any further catastrophe was so urgent that Auron was able to put his troubles aside, and let his practised response to such emergencies take over: he surged forward, grabbed Jecht by the hair, and twisted him away from the shoopuf before he could do any further damage. Jecht yelped and dropped his sword in alarm, and then crossed his arms in front of his face to shield himself from Auron’s ire.

Auron pulled Jecht’s arms down, dragged him a few feet until he was no longer at the centre of the crowd, and pushed him to the ground, straddling him in one of the standard protective positions. “What –” he heaved, “what in the holy name of Yevon do you think you’re doing?”

“Said I’d take care of the next fiend, didn’t I?” Jecht protested. “Tryin’ to show you I can fight – where’s my sword –” He made to stand up, and Auron pressed a hand into his chest, keeping him pinned against the ground.

“You fool,” he said, “you absolute, complete idiot. That’s no fiend, Jecht, that’s our transport across the Moonflow, which you have just incapacitated. If you weren’t blind drunk, you might have seen that.”

“Oh, man,” said Jecht. “Shit. Look, I’m sorry, OK?”

The insincerity of the apology angered Auron still further. He had a strong desire, not for the first time, to sock Jecht right between the eyes, but he could imagine the expression on Braska’s face if he were to do so. Instead, he stood up and moved away from Jecht to stop himself doing something he might regret, stomping off to stand at a safe distance from the water. Jecht scrambled to his feet, retrieved his sword from the ground, and followed.

“Don’t say a word to me,” Auron hissed, turning his back on him.

“Auron –” said Jecht.

Auron whirled around to face him. “I have lost my patience with you, Jecht. I don’t know what it will take for you to understand the importance of this pilgrimage. Your behaviour has brought us into disrepute at every step of the way – as if we weren’t already the laughing stock of Bevelle. I’ve had enough of this – I can’t bear to even look at you.” He turned away again.

Braska, at least, had found a way of making himself useful by offering some calming white magic to the panicked onlookers; helping others always made him feel as if his own life was a little more worth living. He worked his way through the crowd, casting spells as necessary until he reached the shoopuf itself. The Hypello attendants had converged on it as soon as Auron dragged Jecht away, and had by now succeeded in calming it down significantly, although its bloody hind leg remained as a conspicuous mark of Jecht’s misdeed.

“May I assist?” said Braska, raising his staff hopefully.

“No,” said one of the Hypello. “Hooman magic ish no good on shoopuf, no good at all.”

“Oh,” said Braska, watching as the two Hypello produced what appeared to be some kind of bedsheet and began wrapping it around the shoopuf’s leg like a bandage. Their awkward gait and peculiar speech impediment were notably at odds with the gravity of the situation: they pranced around the injured leg, weaving in and out in a strange pattern that resembled a ritual dance.

“I’m terribly sorry,” Braska added, once they had tied the bandage in an elaborate knot.

The second Hypello fixed Braska with its best effort at a piercing gaze. “Ish thish your doing?” it said.

“In a manner of speaking,” said Braska, immediately wondering if he ought not to have admitted it. “The man who, er, struck the shoopuf – he’s my guardian, you see –”

“Then yoo acshept reshponshibibility?” the Hypello continued.

Braska nodded politely. “Of course. If there’s anything I can do to help, do let me know. I hope we haven’t caused any inconvenience – I know there must be a lot of people hoping to cross the Moonflow. Ourselves among them, naturally.”

“Yoo wish to crosh?” said the first Hypello.

“Very much so,” Braska replied.

“We musht dishcush thish,” the Hypello said, before turning to its colleague and commencing a conversation in their native language, which consisted mostly of clicks and whistles. Braska tried to keep a straight face as they did so; it was difficult to maintain one’s dignity when conversing with the Hypello in common Spiran.

Eventually, they turned back towards him, and the Hypello who had spoken last did so again. “Thish ish very serioush indeed,” it said. “Shoopuf ish badly injured, yesh. Will require much treatmentsh. Very ecshpenshive.”

“Oh dear,” said Braska. “Perhaps I might be able to contribute. Would that help a little?”

“Poshibibly,” said the Hypello impassively.

Braska excused himself and went to fetch the gil purse from Auron. “They’re going to let us cross, I think,” he explained. “But I do need to give them something to help them pay for the shoopuf’s treatment.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “It sounds quite bad.”

Auron grunted in response.

Heading back to the Hypello, Braska opened the purse and showed them its contents. “You’re welcome to some of this,” he said. “And I do apologise, most sincerely.”

The two Hypello seized the purse, looked inside, made a few clicking sounds at each other, and then the second one spoke. “Thank yoo, yesh. We will take thish.”

Braska watched, a little startled, as the Hypello emptied the entire amount of gil into the pouch it wore at its belt, and then handed the empty purse back to him, more limp and insubstantial than Braska had ever seen it.

“But I doo not think thish will be shuffishent,” said the Hypello. “Shoopuf treatmentsh will require a shpeshalisht. Thish gil will not go very far, yesh.”

Both Hypello were still looking at Braska expectantly. “Um,” he said, “that’s all we have.”

“A pity,” the other Hypello said. “Will be very difficult to crosh with shuch shmall shum. Perhapsh we shut croshing for tooday.”

Sighing, Braska searched his robes for the extra cash he had mentioned to Auron earlier. Retrieving it, he showed the little bag he had been keeping it in to the Hypello, and watched with resignation as they inspected the money and then once again took the entire amount from him.

“Thish will doo, yesh,” said the first Hypello. “Croshing will prosheed.”

Before Braska was fully able to understand what had happened, he found himself corralled into a queue that led towards the lift transporting passengers onto the shoopuf’s back, with Auron and Jecht joining behind. Auron was still livid, and Jecht was starting to regret how much beer he had drunk; having been shocked into sobriety by Auron’s manhandling and then the realisation that he really had done something quite intolerable, he was beginning to feel ill.

They were approaching the water again, but Auron was angry enough not to be affected by it; once the lift had delivered him onto the shoopuf’s back, he took a seat under the canopy and found, in addition, that he was so high above the surface of the river it was almost possible to pretend he was somewhere else entirely. He sat resting his chin on both hands, at times glancing across at Braska, who was sitting opposite him, as a way of encouraging himself to remain calm.

Braska looked back at Auron as the shoopuf made its slow progress across the wide river; he wondered what would happen once they disembarked. He knew Auron was angry with Jecht, perhaps angrier with him than he had ever been; it was an anger that Braska agreed was somewhat justified on this occasion, but he really didn’t want it to contribute to the continued deterioration of his guardians’ fractious relationship. On impulse, he stood, made his way carefully across to where Auron was sitting, and squeezed into the small space on the bench next to him.

“Don’t worry,” he murmured, deciding not to tell Auron about the money yet.

“He’s –” Auron began, and finding no word adequate to describe how poorly Jecht had behaved, he merely shook his head.

Braska extended an arm and placed it around Auron’s shoulders, pulling him in close. “I know,” he said. “But it’s happened now. Don’t let this hang over us for the rest of the pilgrimage, please, Auron. I know you’re angry with him now – and so am I, to be quite frank – but that’s not what’s important.”

Auron sighed, and then nodded slowly. “Yes. Thank you, sir.”

“We’ll manage, Auron,” said Braska softly.

They sat in silence after that. The gentle motion of the shoopuf swimming through the river was enough to send Braska to sleep, and he drifted off with his arm still tight around Auron’s shoulders; Auron was far from relaxed enough to fall asleep himself, so he sat watching Braska as his chest rose and fell peacefully, and managed in doing so to quite forget that Jecht or indeed anyone else existed.

Some time later, the shoopuf came to a stop on the southern bank of the Moonflow. Braska awoke, acknowledging Auron with an embarrassed little raise of the eyebrows, and straightened up, stretching a little as he waited for the other passengers to disembark. Auron, meanwhile, found that he had experienced so many opposing emotions over the course of the day so far that he now felt rather detached from reality. He watched numbly as the other travellers headed down onto the dock, catching sight of Jecht through the crowd; he too was hanging back, looking distinctly green.

When the lift had emptied, the three of them made their way towards it for its final descent. Nobody spoke, not only while the lift was transporting them to the ground, but after that as well, while they walked across the rapidly emptying dock towards the path that led to the southeast. Auron cast his eyes experimentally over the water, and felt a harsh twinge in his chest, but no ill effects otherwise. Increasing his exposure to it was perhaps the key to ridding himself of this strange affliction, he decided.

They walked along the bank of the Moonflow for a while, and then suddenly, Jecht could bear it no longer; he stumbled forwards, retched, and then vomited right into the river.

“Oh, poor you,” said Braska, feeling sympathetic despite himself; he made to approach Jecht, but Jecht waved him off before turning towards the Moonflow and vomiting again. Braska stepped back, grimacing, and waited while Jecht continued the thorough emptying of his stomach; when he had finished, he threw himself onto the ground with a groan.

“Yes, let’s rest here,” said Braska, hoping that his encouragement might quell any disagreement from Auron. He turned away, looking out across the Moonflow again, and finding himself thinking once more about how he had once believed it so remarkably beautiful. The sentiment felt completely alien to him now.

Auron, staying a few yards away from the shore, carefully sat on the ground. He too was glad of the rest, although he was beginning to feel on edge again given his continued proximity to the water. Rooting through the group’s possessions, he came upon the sphere recorder, and began fiddling with it to distract himself. He inserted a sphere, switched on the device, and trained it on the river: viewing it through the lens of the sphere recorder somehow made it more bearable than looking at it directly.

He panned across the Moonflow; it was, after all, objectively one of Spira’s greatest beauties. Jecht would probably be glad of a recording to show his son, Auron thought, before remembering that he wasn’t particularly inclined to do anything nice for Jecht at the moment. He found himself focusing on Braska instead, pointing the recorder in his direction in an attempt at capturing the calm dignity he exuded. Braska stood out so strikingly against the lilies, he thought, and –

It wasn’t proper, he told himself. He continued to move the device slowly rightwards, coming to the figure of Jecht lying on the ground, and then switched it off, finding himself too annoyed to continue.

Braska had begun to think about what had transpired with the Hypello; he was starting to become aware that the creatures hadn’t entirely been acting in good faith. They had insisted on taking all his money, every last gil, and had repeatedly told him how much it would cost to heal the shoopuf; and yet after he had paid, the shoopuf had crossed the Moonflow as normal, with a full load of passengers and no apparent difficulties. The leg that Jecht had injured must have been operating well enough to allow the shoopuf to swim through the water, he concluded. His mouth fell slightly open as he realised what the Hypello had done – it was difficult to believe the ungainly, slightly ridiculous creatures would act so unscrupulously.

Auron would never have been so gullible, Braska thought; that was one of the several reasons why he was always in charge of that sort of negotiation, although he had been far too enraged on this occasion to have a chance of speaking to the Hypello in a civil manner. Jecht, Braska reflected glumly, would no doubt have worked out what was going on as well, had he been a little more sober. It was only Braska who was so trusting, and so inclined to see the good in everyone – often to his cost.

He would have to confess to Auron, he decided, and Auron would be able to sort it out as always. He turned around, looked down at Auron where he sat, and attempted a smile.

“My lord?” said Auron. He stood and approached Braska, looking straight at him to avoid having to focus on the river.

“I’m sorry, Auron,” said Braska quietly. “I’ve been rather foolish. I gave all our money to the Hypello – they said they needed it to pay for the shoopuf’s treatment. But I think perhaps that wasn’t quite true.”

Auron felt a strange mix of exasperation and affection; only Braska could be conned into parting with his money by a pair of Hypello, that was for sure.

“I even handed over my personal supply,” Braska added sheepishly. “The travel money I told you about. We don’t have anything left – not a single gil.”

“It’s all right, sir,” said Auron. “We’ll earn it back from fiend bounties eventually – and in the meantime, the Djose inn will let us stay even if we can’t afford it. Summoner’s privilege.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” said Braska. “I am sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” said Auron. He looked towards where Jecht was lying, and muttered, “It’s his – the scoundrel.”

Braska hummed absently in agreement, before turning back to look at the Moonflow again; Auron, not wanting to follow his gaze, stared down at the sphere recorder that he still held in his hands, and then an idea came to his mind. Jecht was so obsessed with his renown, he thought, and with capturing images of himself to take back to his son; perhaps if Auron were to insist on taking a sphere in which he drew attention to the incident, Jecht would feel bad enough about it to apologise properly, and maybe even to realise how badly he had behaved.

He flicked the device back on and began walking in Jecht’s direction.

“What are you shooting me for?” Jecht moaned.

“So you don’t do anything stupid again,” said Auron self-righteously. “I can’t believe you attacked that shoopuf,” he added, being sure to specify the nature of the incident for the recording. “Lord Braska had to pay the handler for damages from his own travel money.”

“I said I was sorry,” said Jecht, who really did feel bad about it. “It’s never gonna happen again – I promise.”

“Ah, a promise!” said Auron triumphantly, pleasantly surprised that it had taken so little time for Jecht to show remorse. “Which you’ll forget come tomorrow.”

Braska, overhearing the conversation, doubted whether this type of strange performative punishment was really the best way forward. “Auron, please,” he said. “He did apologise. He knows he was wrong.”

Jecht did indeed know; in fact, while Auron and Braska had been talking, he had spent the time feeling not only very ill but also very guilty. He had angered Auron; that was nothing new, although his fellow guardian’s rage certainly seemed to have reached hitherto unseen heights. But he had clearly disappointed Braska as well, and doing so mere hours after learning about the fate in store for him at the end of the pilgrimage had undeniably been in poor taste. Jecht had just wanted to prove to his companions that he was of some use to them, but all he had done was disrupt the pilgrimage and give them even less reason to have confidence in him.

As much as he had kept telling himself he didn’t care about the pilgrimage, it was clear enough that what they were doing meant a lot to the people of Spira. He had noticed in his more sober moments that many of the people they passed on their journey seemed to treat them with not only solemn reverence, but a sort of quiet, tentative hope: the hope Braska had told him about on more than one occasion. People really believed that Braska might be able to defeat Sin and bring the Calm to Spira, and they believed Jecht might be part of that. It was nothing like the hard-won fame he had acquired in Zanarkand, where everything depended on keeping the media happy and making sure to strike a balance between skill in the blitz sphere and shocking behaviour elsewhere. It was simply a chance to do something good, and if he succeeded in doing that in Spira, he might go home with a renewed sense of what mattered there as well.

Because he had been losing his way recently, and he knew it. It was the drink; he denied it as soon as anyone asked, but it was clear enough that it had become a way of avoiding everything he had to face. Drinking had allowed him to forget the demands of his home life as well as the constant need to remain Zanarkand’s most skilled blitzball player. And here in Spira, too, it had been the reason for his shameful behaviour on the other side of the Moonflow. In Zanarkand, ending his reliance on alcohol would have been unthinkable; it had already come to be part of the legend he had built up. But here in Spira, nobody knew the great Jecht. Without the burden of expectation, it would perhaps be easier to make things right.

“That’s it,” he said, scrambling awkwardly to his feet and turning to face the riverbank in an attempt to get away from Auron’s rather intense scrutiny. “Only thing I drink from now on is shoopuf milk.”

Neither Auron nor Braska had expected that at all; they exchanged a brief, surprised glance. “You’re sure?” Braska said.

Jecht sighed. “We’re on a journey to fight Sin and save Spira, right? If I keep screwin’ up and makin’ a fool of myself –” He paused, and reminded himself: a fresh start, and another chance. That was what his time in Spira would give him. “My wife and kid are never gonna forgive me,” he concluded.

Auron, still sceptical that Jecht would keep his promise, kept the sphere recorder focused on him. “That’s on the record,” he said smugly, before switching it off and carefully pressing one of the two hemispheres it ejected into the ground with the heel of his boot.

“What,” said Jecht, sounding a little more like his usual self, “think I ain’t gonna stick to it?”

“I don’t have much faith in you at the moment, to be honest,” Auron shot back.

“Please, Auron,” said Braska again, approaching the two of them. “That’s very good of you, Jecht,” he said. “I know you may not quite understand the significance of the pilgrimage, but it is very important to us in Spira.”

“Yeah, I … I noticed,” said Jecht.

“Great,” said Auron flatly. “But now that you’ve changed your ways, we should get going.”

Jecht groaned; he still felt largely incapable of getting to his feet. “Can’t we stay here a bit longer?” he said. “Look at all the nice water?” He flung a hand in the vague direction of the Moonflow, and then, suddenly finding himself struck by nausea again, quickly brought it back towards his face to cover his mouth.

“I thought you said you’d realised the pilgrimage was important,” Auron said stiffly, while Jecht let out the most discreet belch he could manage.

“I think,” said Braska, drawing closer to Jecht, “a little white magic may be what we need here.” He waved his staff carefully; Jecht doubted it would have much effect, but almost immediately found himself feeling better. “Thanks,” he mumbled.

Auron turned away, eager to get on with the journey and distance himself from the river; he felt slightly annoyed that Braska had used magic on Jecht as a result of a problem that was entirely of Jecht’s own making. There was still plenty of ground to cover over the course of the day, and Braska would tire himself out if he insisted on casting spells unnecessarily, he thought.

Braska, who knew this as well as Auron did, was nonetheless perfectly willing to expend his energy on making sure Jecht felt well. Jecht had just declared his intention to make what was for him a considerable sacrifice, Braska reasoned, and so it was only fair to show some kindness to him in return. He fell into step with Jecht as they walked on, half-listening to his customary long, rambling tales about Zanarkand and the son he had left behind there.

After they had travelled some distance and taken out a fair few fiends, they took a short break at Braska’s request; fortunately for Auron, the Moonflow was now far enough away to be totally out of sight. Auron had been mostly ignoring Jecht as they walked, although he had gradually found that the need to work together in battle made it slightly easier to tolerate him. When Jecht sat on the ground beside him, therefore, he greeted him with a small nod.

“What’s in there, anyway?” said Jecht, looking down at the spherical two-pint jug Auron wore at his hip.

Auron placed a hand over it protectively. “Couldn’t even last a few hours?” he sneered.

“So it is somethin’,” said Jecht triumphantly. “I knew it. You put on this whole I’m so pure, I don’t drink act, and all the time you’re carryin’ the stuff –”

“I never said I don’t drink,” Auron protested. “I just know how to do it in moderation.” He frowned in the direction of the dusty ground. “Never said anything about being pure either – I certainly wouldn’t want to make that claim.”

“Quit changin’ the subject,” said Jecht. He pointed at the jug again, which Auron was now holding firmly with both hands. “What is it?”

“None of your business,” said Auron resolutely.

Jecht groaned. “You’re so boring.”

“I’m not here to entertain you,” Auron pointed out.

“Guess I’ll have to entertain myself, then,” said Jecht. “If I guess what’s in there, will you tell me when I get it right?” Receiving only a glare in reply, he decided it was worth trying. “Whiskey?” he said. “Uh … gin? Brandy? Is it bourbon? That’s basically whiskey anyway. Um …”

Auron tried his best to tune out as Jecht named nearly every type of alcohol he had ever heard of and several he suspected were made up. Taking advantage of a brief pause while Jecht tried to dredge up the memory of some obscure spirit, he muttered, “You’re not doing a great job of convincing me you’re giving up alcohol, when it seems to be the only thing you can talk about.”

“Just gettin’ it all out my system,” said Jecht nonchalantly.

“Making room for the shoopuf milk?” Auron taunted him.

“You got it,” Jecht replied.

Auron rolled his eyes. “You didn’t even know what a shoopuf was until this morning.”

“Yeah, and?”

“And you were talking about shoopuf milk, as if you had any idea it even existed,” said Auron; “it just proves that you never take a second to think before you do or say anything! How can you –” He lowered his voice so Braska wouldn’t hear. “I just don’t understand how you make it from one day to the next without getting, I don’t know, arrested, or killed, because you’ve done something totally thoughtless –”

Jecht laughed. “I did get arrested,” he said. “When you met me, remember? I was in jail. Only got let out because of Braska’s summoner’s privilege or whatever.”

“Oh,” said Auron. “Yeah. So was there anything specific that got you put away, or just your general …” He trailed off and waved a hand towards Jecht, casting his eyes over him sceptically.

“Guess Bevelle just ain’t the place to be drunk and disorderly, you know?” said Jecht. “Don’t remember much, to be honest. I was probably profanin’ Yevon or somethin’, I guess.”

“Yeah, they wouldn’t take kindly to that,” Auron remarked.

“Didn’t even tell me how long they were gonna keep me in there for,” Jecht added.

“The judicial processes of Yevon aren’t exactly known for their transparency,” Auron muttered.

Jecht laughed. “Figures.”

At that point, Braska stood; his guardians watched as he made his way towards them. “We need to move on,” he said.

“You look tired, sir,” said Auron. Indeed, Braska was; the additional white magic he had used on Jecht, as well as on the people who had been queueing to board the shoopuf and had required his assistance after the fright of Jecht’s attack, had drained much of his energy.

“I am,” he said. “But you know we have to keep going, Auron. I have to prove my strength.”

“Right,” Auron muttered, declining to meet the summoner’s gaze as he got to his feet.

Jecht found himself walking beside Auron on the next stretch of the path. “Hey,” he said cheerfully. “You know earlier, when you, uh, found me on the dock, and you just kinda dragged me along and threw me on the ground, yeah?”

Auron glanced at him suspiciously.

“Just …” said Jecht. “You’re real strong, you know? Like, I’m a big guy! I ain’t exactly light. But you just grabbed me like it was nothing.”

“What’s your point?” said Auron.

Jecht shrugged. “Ain’t you gonna take a compliment?”

Deciding not to respond, Auron looked away. He was well aware that Jecht’s compliments were normally reserved for none but himself; saying such things to Auron, in Auron’s view, must have meant that he wanted something, or worse, was trying to play some kind of trick. As a result, he was very certain that the best course of action was to ignore him.

They made their way along the road that led towards Djose, seeing off the various fiends that got in their way. The worst of them was the ochu, a large, plantlike creature that routinely cast a thick green gas over the travellers, causing a terrible smell that caused all of them to become overwhelmed by nausea. Braska was forced to spend most of his time ridding himself and his guardians of this and other afflictions; the fiends would have been dispatched more quickly if he had had the opportunity to use fire on them, but that was rarely an option. After a few hours of intermittent battle, he felt almost ready to sleep even though he was still standing.

It was when he tried to heal their wounds after one of the fights that it became obvious that his magic power was completely spent: his own injuries and Jecht’s were healed soon enough, but by the time he came to Auron, he was unable to muster up enough energy even to seal up his guardian’s few small cuts and grazes. Auron took a potion instead, waved off Braska’s mumbled apology, and gently suggested that they retire for the evening.

“It’s starting to get dark – we wouldn’t have got much further anyway,” he pointed out. “And we’ve made good progress; we’ll still make it to Djose tomorrow, at this rate.”

“I suppose,” said Braska. He stifled a yawn behind his hand, watching with drooping eyelids while Auron assembled the tent as quickly as he could. As soon as it was up, he crawled inside and made for his bedroll, which Auron had been thoughtful enough to lay out in preparation.

Auron kept watch outside the tent, while Jecht wandered off to explore the nearby fields; not long afterwards, he limped back, bleeding and bruised in several places.

“Didn’t you take potions with you?” said Auron unsympathetically.

“Forgot,” Jecht grunted, reaching for the bottle Auron held out to him. After drinking its contents down hastily, he found that his injuries had vanished, and he sat down heavily on the ground next to Auron with satisfaction.

“You’re lucky you didn’t come off worse,” said Auron. “If there’s any delay before you take the potion, it increases the risk of a wound not fully healing, especially if it’s serious.”

“Yeah, Braska said somethin’ about that,” Jecht told him. “It’s fine, I’m used to it.” He gestured towards his bandaged forearm, which continued to give him some trouble at times – not that he had bothered telling Braska about it recently.

“It’ll be inconvenient, though, if we have to delay the journey because of preventable injury,” said Auron. “You should take responsibility for looking after yourself.”

Jecht snorted. “Sure. Bet you wouldn’t say that if it was Braska who got hurt.”

“He’s the summoner,” said Auron firmly, “so it’s different.”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Jecht. He looked out towards the fields for a moment, thinking about his recent encounter, and then said, “How do people travel around here, then?”

“In what sense?” said Auron.

“I mean,” Jecht explained, “me and you, we’re like, expert swordsmen, so for us it’s no problem, but what about the ordinary folks? How do they get from one place to the next if there’s fiends everywhere?”

“Oh, I see,” said Auron. “Well, if they can afford fiend-repelling armour, they wear that, of course. Otherwise … you can hire a chocobo, or –”

“Come again?” said Jecht.

“A chocobo,” Auron repeated. “Big birds you can ride – they go too fast for fiends to attack.”

“Big,” Jecht echoed, “hold on, did you say big birds?”

“Is that so hard to believe?” Auron snapped. “I think we’ve already established that Spiran wildlife isn’t the same as what you’re used to, given what happened with the shoopuf this morning.”

Jecht shrugged. “OK,” he said, “calm down.”

Shaking his head to dispel his irritation, Auron continued. “Anyway, if people can’t afford chocobo hire, it’s harder to travel, obviously. You can just stock up on potions – the basic ones are pretty cheap – and try risking it. Some people would know a couple of low-level magic spells, so those can keep the weaker fiends at bay. People often just run away, too, if they find themselves in trouble; fiends don’t usually bother chasing. Or as a last resort, you can travel at night, when they’re not as dangerous.” He shrugged. “Although quite a few people just stay in their villages, especially if they don’t have a lot of money. There’s not usually much need for travel if you’re just a normal civilian.”

“What, so they just stay in the same place all their lives?” said Jecht. “That’d drive you crazy.”

“They don’t exactly have a choice,” Auron replied. “Tourism is a luxury. And most people don’t want to go far, anyway: more chance of encountering Sin.”

“Oh yeah,” said Jecht. “Sin, right.”

Auron couldn’t help snorting with laughter at that; “What?” Jecht said.

“Just …” said Auron. He tipped his head back, looking up at the reddening sky. “The thought that someone could forget about Sin. It’s just such a huge part of – of everything in Spira. People live their whole lives in fear – they’re completely traumatised by it – and you just didn’t even think … life must be so different in Zanarkand. So easy.” He sounded bitter, he knew, but decided it was warranted.

“It ain’t like there’s nothin’ else to worry about,” Jecht said.

“What,” Auron sneered, “like who’s going to win the blitzball league?”

“Fuck you,” Jecht muttered. He was thinking of the decision he had made earlier. It wasn’t exactly easy to navigate fame in Zanarkand, even if he didn’t know how he would have survived without everyone’s constant attention either. There was the question of whether his son would ever toughen up. And there was his wife and her depressive episodes – the times he had returned from training late to find her lying in bed, barely responding to his careful touches and murmurs of encouragement. Often, his presence had eventually sufficed to rouse her; but sometimes, he had just had to wait until the next morning and hope that she would be capable of keeping Tidus fed and looked after while he went out to his matches.

He wasn’t going to mention any of those things to Auron: they were private. The last thing he wanted was for Auron to take pity on him.

Braska emerged from the tent soon afterwards, less exhausted after his nap, and the three of them shared out the evening’s rations and ate them while Auron briefed the others on the fiends they were likely to encounter on the southern half of the road towards Djose.

“Your turn for first watch tonight, Jecht,” said Auron after Braska had made his excuses and gone off to relieve himself. “I went first last time we camped, back in the woods.”

Jecht scowled; he’d been looking forward to getting to lie down and sleep for a while, to say nothing of the fact that if he had to sit in the dark on his own for hours, he suspected he would be spending a lot of that time wishing he was drinking something. Of course, he’d have to keep watch for half the night either way, but he preferred to put it off for as long as possible.

“But,” he said speculatively, “we were in that travel agency for two nights, right, so that’d have been my turn and then yours, and then last night would’ve been me again, so you go first tonight, yeah?”

“What?” said Auron. “That doesn’t make any sense. Why would we count the nights we weren’t camping?”

Jecht sighed. “OK … fine. Just do me a favour, right, and take this one for me? I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“What, are you tired?” said Auron smugly, knowing Jecht wouldn’t admit to it.

“Hell no,” Jecht replied. “Just – come on, Auron, please?”

For once, Auron couldn’t be bothered to argue. “Fine,” he said, sitting down by the campfire.

Behind Auron’s back, Jecht pumped his fist in triumph, before bending down and getting into the tent, where Braska had already begun to make himself comfortable in his own bedroll. “Ah, Jecht,” he said. “I was just about to take tonight’s sphere for Yuna. Will you join me?”

“You sure?” said Jecht. On previous evenings, he had always been certain that Yuna would want to hear from him, but at those times he had always had a few drinks by that point in the evening and had a particularly inflated sense of his own importance. Now, for the first time, he was unconvinced that Braska really wanted him there.

“Of course,” said Braska. “I’m sure she likes hearing your stories. They’re much more interesting than what I usually have to say – come on, sit beside me.”

Jecht crawled awkwardly across to perch next to Braska, who switched on the sphere recorder. “Well, Yuna,” he began, “here we are on the south side of the Moonflow.”

As he went on, Jecht chipped in here and there, but he couldn’t stop himself thinking about Braska’s fate: seeing him taking these spheres for his daughter was a quite different experience now that Jecht knew how the pilgrimage was expected to end. Once Braska had waved goodbye, finished the recording, and put the two halves of the sphere aside, he couldn’t help bringing it up.

“So these spheres are gonna be the last record Yuna has of her daddy,” he said.

“That’s right,” said Braska solemnly. “Of course – I’d forgotten Auron had explained how the pilgrimage ends to you last night. I hope it wasn’t too much of a shock.”

“I did find it kinda hard to understand,” Jecht admitted. “Might’ve been why I, you know.”

“Hm?” said Braska.

“Well,” said Jecht, “this morning – I know was drinkin’ a lot before, but not usually that much, right? I think I went a little overboard last night. Tryin’ to make sense of it all in my head, see.”

“Oh,” said Braska, finally understanding the effect learning the truth had had on Jecht. His attack on the shoopuf, he now saw, had to have been a direct consequence. “Oh, goodness, Jecht,” he said, “I didn’t realise. I am sorry – I’m sure it all seems very strange to you.”

Jecht nodded. “I just don’t get why someone would do that,” he said. “And sittin’ there takin’ these spheres every night, like everything’s gonna be fine –”

“Yuna knows what’s going to happen,” said Braska.

“And that’s meant to make it better?”

“Yes,” said Braska firmly. “Because she knows I may bring the Calm. If I can ensure her safety, that’s worth more than anything.” He looked down at the groundsheet. “That’s one of the reasons why I’m doing this – and it’s a very good one.”

“Just for what, a couple years without Sin?” said Jecht.

“Or longer,” said Braska. “Perhaps I can be the High Summoner who brings an eternal Calm at last.”

“Never happened before,” Jecht pointed out.

“It only needs to happen once,” said Braska. “If I can give Yuna that gift – well, it’s the only thing I can do for her now. If I hadn’t been so weak, they might not have taken her from me. But I lost my chance to be her father, so this is really all that’s left, isn’t it?”

He raised his head; Jecht could see he was blinking back tears, and instinctively recoiled. “Uh, maybe, yeah,” he muttered, retreating towards his own bedroll. “Night.”

“Goodnight,” Braska murmured back, glad of the sudden end to a difficult conversation. He knew Jecht would find it hard to understand his decision, but the way forward was still as clear to him as it had been for more than a year now: it was the only way he could make things up to Yuna and put an end to his own misery. He had to die.

11. The Highest Authorities

Auron sat by the campfire, mildly annoyed with himself for having given into Jecht’s illogical request with only the slightest resistance. He was normally firm in his opinions, and proud to be so; he wasn’t quite as stubborn as Braska, but there was hardly anything in it. Braska didn’t like seeing Auron and Jecht argue, that was clear, but as far as Auron was concerned, that was no reason to capitulate to the other guardian’s whims.

He dug a little dent into the soily ground with his foot. It was particularly disappointing, he thought, that he had succumbed to Jecht’s will on this day of all the days they had spent together so far. That very morning, after all, Jecht had committed his most egregious misdeed yet.

When it was time to go in and fetch Jecht to take over the watch for the second half of the night, Auron kicked some of the soil over the campfire, and then a little more, until the flame died. That would teach him, he thought, with vindictive pleasure. He headed into the tent, woke Jecht, and settled into the vacated bedroll, glad that the darkness obscured his smirk.

Jecht, in turn, went outside, saw that the fire had been extinguished, and headed straight back into the tent again. “Fire’s out,” he hissed.

Auron shrugged, affecting innocence. “You’ll just have to deal with it,” he whispered back as he tied his hair into its nighttime bun. “We’re not waking Lord Braska.”

Grimacing, Jecht went back outside and made himself as comfortable as he was able beside the small pile of charred wood. Now that he was alone, he was finding it difficult not to think about how nice it would be to have a beer in his hand. Each time he had kept watch so far, he had drunk a few – never so many that he lost sight of what he was supposed to be doing, but just enough to keep himself cheerful and insulated against the cold night. Moreover, he was suddenly aware that he had nothing to do with his hands. He laid them in his lap – that felt odd – so he hung them by his sides; but that was no better.

He tried a few more positions, his hands beginning to quiver as he attempted to find a suitable place for them. He began to wonder why it was so difficult. Lying on his back, his front, his side; standing, and then sitting again; taking advantage of the flexibility he cultivated in the blitzball sphere to fold his legs up into his lap; none of it seemed any more successful than the rest.

It irritated Jecht more than it should have: the more he struggled to find a way of arranging himself, the more critically important it seemed for him to do so. After a while, he took note of the fact that his heartbeat, which normally followed an athlete’s slow pace, was unusually elevated. It only made him more restless.

He tried to imagine the feeling of a cool bottle of beer in his hand, the delicious bitter taste flowing onto his tongue. All it did was make him more desperate for the real thing. He was sitting there in the dark, he thought, and Auron and Braska clearly didn’t care about the fact that he was having a singularly unpleasant time. All he needed, he decided, was one drink. Just one little beer, and then things would be all right.

He knew there were none to be had, and so he did nothing about it for some time – but just as it was becoming too much to bear, Jecht remembered Auron’s mysterious jug. Whatever was in that jug, he decided, would be his salvation. He hurried into the tent, made his clumsy way towards where Auron lay sleeping, and began to shake him roughly by both shoulders.

Auron awoke slowly, confused and unsure why it felt as if he was strapped to some malfunctioning machina; eventually, Jecht’s sweaty, agitated face came into focus. “What are you doing?” Auron mumbled, still not totally awake.

“I need a drink,” Jecht gasped out. “Auron, you gotta give me whatever’s in that jug – just a tiny sip – I’m goin’ crazy here –”

“Certainly not,” Auron hissed back, now fully awake and wishing he wasn’t. “You’re being ridiculous. Get back out there.”

“You don’t understand,” said Jecht urgently. “I just need one drop – Auron, please –”

“I knew,” Auron whispered, “I knew you wouldn’t keep your promise, you ruffian –”

Feeling increasingly as if he was actually about to die if he didn’t get a drink of something within the next minute, Jecht decided to take matters into his own hands; squinting around in the darkness, he caught sight of a pile that had a reasonably good chance of being Auron’s clothes. The jug, he was sure, would be nearby. Doing his best to clamber over Auron’s bedroll, he made straight for it.

Auron realised what was going on; he sat up and reached for Jecht with the intent to impede his progress. As he began tugging Jecht down towards the ground, Jecht attempted to fend him off; undeterred, Auron clutched Jecht’s arm tightly. Jecht tried to twist himself free, but succeeded only in catching and twisting his skin in Auron’s strong grip; already beside himself, he let out a yowl.

That, at last, was enough to wake Braska, who sat up at once and fixed both his guardians with a glare so furious it was perceptible in the near total darkness. “What’s this?” he said.

“Braska,” Jecht whined at once, “I really need a drink, and Auron’s not lettin’ me have any of his –”

Braska paused, and then said sternly, “Jecht, come here.”

Auron tentatively let go of Jecht’s arm; Jecht made no move to approach Braska, having failed to see what it could do to put an end to his predicament.

“Do as he says!” Auron yelled, cuffing Jecht around the back of the head. Now that Braska was awake, and clearly not happy about having had his sleep disturbed, Auron was even more angry with Jecht than before, and he wanted to make it very clear to Braska that none of this disruption was his own fault.

With a whimper, Jecht shuffled forward towards the summoner.

“I’m going to cast some spells on you, Jecht,” said Braska, “and I need you to tell me whether they make you feel better. Will you be honest with me?”

“Yeah,” Jecht mumbled, and Braska laid a hand on his clammy forehead and began. It was an odd experience for Jecht, who had so far almost exclusively been the target of magic channelled through Braska’s staff: having it applied directly felt very different. It seemed less immediate, but more potent somehow, and certainly more intimate – the warm touch of Braska’s skin against his own lent a kind of comfort that magic alone failed to transmit.

After casting a few spells, Braska drew his hand back. “Well?” he demanded.

“Yeah,” Jecht mumbled, realising that he felt a lot more normal, and most importantly, that he was no longer possessed of the strong craving for alcohol that had consumed him moments earlier. “That’s – that’s good. I’m good.”

“Are you sure?” said Braska, in the same severe tone.

“Yeah, I swear,” Jecht said, and immediately, Braska turned away and lay back down with a quiet snort of displeasure.

Jecht cast a somewhat apologetic glance at Auron; Auron shrugged back at him. “Why are you still here?” he muttered. “Aren’t you supposed to be keeping watch?”

“Sure,” said Jecht, and he scrambled out of the tent.

Several hours later, as the morning light began to illuminate the grass, Auron and Braska emerged from the tent and joined Jecht outside. Jecht hung his head, anticipating that Braska would still be in the same angry mood as when he had been woken up during the night; but while Auron dismantled the tent, Braska carefully sat down on the other side of the miserable remains of the campfire, and offered him a small smile.

“Are you feeling all right this morning, Jecht?” he enquired.

“Uh, yeah,” said Jecht awkwardly.

“Good,” said Braska. “I’m, er, sorry about my demeanour last night. It’s just that I’m rather particular about my sleep, you see.”

“Oh, uh, no problem,” said Jecht.

“I’ll cast a little more magic on you now, just to make sure that you don’t experience those symptoms while we’re travelling today,” said Braska, before raising his staff and beginning to wave it in Jecht’s direction.

Auron, emerging with the tent packed away, furrowed his brow as he came upon the scene. “Should you be wasting magic like that, sir?” he couldn’t help saying.

Braska looked up at him, mirroring his frown. “It’s not a waste, Auron,” he said. “We’ll hardly make much progress if Jecht’s in trouble. He promised he would take this pilgrimage seriously, and I owe him my thanks.”

Auron turned away; he wasn’t convinced that Braska owed Jecht anything, certainly not so soon after the latter had made his promise, which he was still sure wouldn’t last. He knew Braska was right about the importance of ensuring Jecht was well, but watching him dole out magic before they’d even started walking made him wonder whether they would succeed in making it to Djose.

As the day went on, though, it turned out there had been no need to worry: Braska was flagging by the afternoon, as he often did, but he was still able to cast magic and in relatively good spirits. The fiends posed no particular difficulties, and Jecht had kept Braska entertained as they walked with his seemingly endless supply of stories about Zanarkand.

As for Auron, he was finding mild enjoyment in hearing Jecht’s stories as well, although he tried not to show it. The city that Jecht described sounded completely reliant on machina, even more than Bevelle was: it made Auron feel a little uneasy, but that was mitigated by the grim satisfaction he got from thinking about how most priests of Yevon would react to such tales. They would be so disgusted, he thought, that they might actually require medical intervention. It was a cruel thing to imagine, but after the way the Yevonite clergy had treated him recently, wishing ill health on them seemed an appropriate way of taking revenge.

Braska, having left the priesthood on terrible terms several years earlier, instead found plenty of amusement in Jecht’s anecdotes – so much so at times that he couldn’t help letting out an incredulous laugh at the absurdity of it all. Each time, it was an almost guilty sound, quickly cut short by Braska’s steadfast determination to maintain his dignity, but it never failed to escape Auron’s notice. Braska was laughing, Auron thought, enough for it to be something he did on a regular basis – for the first time in three years. Each time he did it, it surprised Auron a little less, but that fact was equally surprising in itself. Gradually, since that moment on the Thunder Plains, the sound of Braska’s laughter had begun to become familiar again: Auron began to wonder if there would come a time when he would be able to hear it without experiencing the feeling of his heart stopping momentarily.

“It’s a good thing you waited until we reached this side of the Moonflow to tell all these stories, Jecht,” Braska remarked as they approached the long bridge leading to Djose. “You might have found yourself in a lot of trouble if you were to talk about that sort of thing in Bevelle.”

Jecht snorted. “Well, yeah – ended up in jail, didn’t I? I’m kinda hazy on the details, but I guess that could’ve been why.”

Braska hummed in agreement. “It was probably quite the shock,” he suggested.

A shock for the priests, he meant, to come across someone saying such strange things about a holy site, but Jecht nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, it was!” he exclaimed. “Good thing you guys came along to bust me out – you know talent when you see it. Dunno how long they’d have kept me in there otherwise.”

“I should think keeping you in there would have been preferable to the alternative,” Braska couldn’t help saying.

“Oh yeah?” said Jecht. “What alternative?”

“It’s called the Via Purifico,” Braska explained, sotto voce. “A sort of underwater labyrinth: people deemed to have blasphemed against Yevon are sent there to fight their way out.”

“Underwater,” Jecht scoffed. “Sounds easy enough to me.”

“Underwater, and teeming with fiends,” Braska said gravely. “The idea is that Yevon will spare the innocent, and the guilty will go to their deaths. In practice –” He sighed. “It depends whether you believe the temples or not.”

“How so?” said Jecht.

“Officially, nobody has ever survived the Via Purifico,” said Braska. “It’s supposedly a sign that the courts of Yevon are infallible. But in reality, a few people do make it out – thank all the fayth. The priests just alter the records to make it seem as if they were never sent there in the first place. And the victim goes free, but he’s as good as dead as far as Yevonite society is concerned.”

“As if that matters,” said Jecht. “I don’t give a shit about Yevonite society anyway. Guess they didn’t reckon on the great Jecht comin’ their way.”

“I’m sure you’re a good swimmer, Jecht,” Braska argued gently, “but we still can’t presume you would have made it; only the exceptionally strong ever come close. The pilgrimage is dangerous too, of course, but I daresay your chances of survival are a little higher by my side than they would have been in Bevelle.”

Auron, who was walking in front, had overheard more of the conversation than he wanted; he turned around and said, “We’re almost at Djose, my lord. Do you want to visit the temple this evening, or shall we go straight to the inn?”

“Oh, the inn, of course,” said Braska, who had no interest in visiting the temple before it was strictly necessary, and had thought Auron would be aware of that.

“Right, sir,” said Auron, and he led the way into the town.

Djose was a small settlement, built into the gorge between two large outcrops of rock; the town had come into being some time later than the temple, which was the oldest structure in the area. It had been built into another huge boulder, known as the Lightning Mushroom Rock; when the fayth of Djose had sacrificed himself hundreds of years ago, the same rock had absorbed the powerful thunder spells that he had cast in his final attempt to protect the area from Sin, with the result that when the fayth was awakened, the rock would still throb with electricity. When Braska and his guardians arrived, though, it was still and dark, enveloping most of the man-made structure below it.

They continued to the inn, where Braska took a seat. While they had been walking, he hadn’t realised quite how tired he was getting; now that the opportunity to rest presented itself, he suddenly discovered that it was just what he needed. Fortunately, he hadn’t cast enough offensive spells over the course of the day to cause a headache, and so it was just the exhaustion of white magic that he had to contend with, but as he sank into the cushions, he found it difficult not to close his eyes and drift off.

Meanwhile, Auron approached the reception desk and politely explained the financial situation; they had made a little money from fiend bounties since crossing the Moonflow, but it was nowhere near enough to pay for two nights’ stay. The inn was willing to help summoners in such difficulties, as he had expected, and the clerk opened up his ledger to determine a room that might be suitable, before he caught sight of another piece of paper underneath it, hesitated, and looked up at Auron again.

“I don’t think I caught your lord summoner’s name, sir,” he said.

“It’s Lord Braska,” Auron informed him.

The clerk looked down at the paper once more, and then back up at Auron, and said, somewhat nervously, “Ah. Then I’m afraid – I’d forgotten about this regulation. You’re not, um, on our list.”

Auron frowned. “Your list?” He remembered the newspaper article that he had discussed with Jecht, back at the agency on the Thunder Plains: the proposed legislation to require summoners to hold some kind of formal authorisation before they could journey. “But that law hasn’t been passed yet,” he said, “has it?”

“Oh no, it’s not that,” said the clerk. “This notice arrived from Bevelle this morning – it’s nothing to do with which summoners are allowed to take the pilgrimage, but there are, er, instructions regarding our offer of financial support.” He placed his fingertips on the edge of the paper and attempted to push it further under the ledger.

“Let me see that,” said Auron, and before the clerk could stop him, he pulled out the sheet of paper from the other side.

His eyes widened as he looked it over. There were a lot of words that would take him a while to decipher, but the subject of the notice was clear even without them from the two detailed portraits that had been drawn in the centre of the page: one, a melancholy-looking young man with high cheekbones and his hair hidden under an ornate turban; the other, a still younger man with long, dark hair, his eyebrows drawn low over his eyes and the beginnings of a military uniform visible at the bottom of the image.

They were drawings of himself and Braska, no doubt based on archival sphere footage that was months or even years old. The presence of the drawings confirmed his developing suspicion: this wasn’t a list of summoners’ parties who were deemed worthy of receiving financial support, but the opposite. It was a list of travellers who should be excluded from such assistance – and it looked very much as if Braska and his guardians were the only people in that category.

Auron tried to concentrate on the text enough to read it, but found himself too restless to take in more than a few letters at a time; he looked over his shoulder and found Jecht standing a few feet away, idly peering at the inn’s walls as he considered the rather bold design choices that had been made during its construction. “Jecht,” he said. “Come here.”

Jecht raised his eyebrows to show his displeasure at Auron’s attempt to give him orders, but he made his way towards him nonetheless. “What’s up?” he said.

“Can you read this, please,” said Auron, handing the notice to him.

“Oh,” Jecht said, letting out a little chuckle as he scanned the page, but then he scowled and looked up at Auron again. “Hey!” he said angrily. “Who wrote this?”

“What does it say?” Auron demanded.

Jecht looked back up at the top of the paper. “A memorandum from the highest authorities of Yevon,” he read. “Establishments providing guest accommodation are hereby given notice that the summoner and guardians named in this decree are not to be afforded any of the special protections or financial aid normally granted to journeying pilgrims. Following extensive discussions in the courts of Yevon, it has been determined that the three men listed here lack the propriety and good intentions necessary to complete a successful pilgrimage. All three have repeatedly blasphemed and rejected our teachings, and good Yevonites would do well not to waste their time and resources on coming to their aid.” He lowered the paper, looking at Auron eagerly. “OK,” he said, “I knew Braska’d done stuff those guys don’t like, but what about you, mister perfect? What did you do to make ’em so pissed?”

“Keep going,” said Auron through gritted teeth.

With a snort, Jecht turned back to the page. “The summoner Braska,” he continued, “depicted below left, is a treacherous individual who betrayed the trust of Yevon some ten years ago. Sent as an envoy to the Al Bhed as part of our effort to counteract their development of dangerous offensive machina, he instead shared Yevonite secrets with our enemies and fathered the half-breed child of an Al Bhed –” He faltered. “Shit. An Al Bhed whore. Such a man is clearly incapable of winning the confidence of the fayth and bringing the Calm.”

“That’s not true,” Auron muttered. “He never betrayed any Yevonite secrets – this is preposterous. And – talking about her like that –” He looked over towards Braska, hoping he had heard none of it, and was relieved to see that the summoner was asleep, his head thrown back against the chair where he sat, his hands clasped together serenely in his lap.

“Want me to read the rest?” said Jecht.

“No,” said Auron, and then he sighed. “But you’ll have to. We should know what they’re saying about us, even if it is all lies.”

“Summoner Braska is travelling with two guardians,” Jecht went on, “both of whom openly defy the teachings of Yevon. The portrait below right shows Auron, a disgraced warrior monk who has recently been found guilty of defiling our faith with vile and obscene acts. Banished from the warrior monk corps, he has since turned his swordwork skills to the blasphemous service of his master. Inn and travel agency operators are to be warned that Auron is quick to anger and in possession of a deadly weapon. Well, they got that bit right, anyway.” He cast his eyes over the drawings of his companions, and then began to read out the next paragraph. “Braska’s second guardian, a man who calls himself Jecht, is a raving, drunken lunatic who claims to be the captain of a nonexistent blitzball team. On arriving in Bevelle, he spoke ill of Yevon and attacked several priests. No images of Jecht were found in our archives, but he will be recognised by his long, unkempt hair and his constant state of undress, along with the foul smell of beer on his breath.” He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. That’s out of date now.”

“Did you attack several priests?” said Auron curiously.

“Dunno,” said Jecht, “I, uh, don’t remember much. But what about you – what’s this about vile and obscene acts? Is that true?”

“You’ve seen how they exaggerate,” said Auron.

“Huh,” said Jecht, realising Auron wasn’t going to get any less evasive. He turned back to the paper to read the final paragraph. “Accommodation providers are reminded that these men are highly unsuitable for the summoner’s pilgrimage, for the manifold reasons cited. While we currently have no legal grounds for refusing them service if they have the means to pay, we should like to take this opportunity to assure loyal followers of Yevon that we are actively working to prevent them from making further progress, and in the meantime strongly encourage all those who meet them to deny them the additional aid with which pilgrims are traditionally provided. By order of – huh …” He frowned, trying to remember where he had heard the name before. “Oh right, that guy! Ha, you’re gonna love this, Auron. You guessed who wrote it yet?”

Auron grimaced. As far as he knew, there was only one person from Bevelle besides himself and Braska whose name Jecht might have known. But, he thought, it was hardly likely that something so scathing had been written by someone he had always considered a good friend –

“High priest of Yevon,” Jecht read out triumphantly, “newly appointed vice-chief of Crusader liaison and deputy commander of the warrior monk corps – you got it, right? Wen Kinoc.” He brandished the paper triumphantly; Auron looked down at it, despite himself, and recognised the letters spelling out Kinoc’s name in the bottom right.

He turned away, wondering what Kinoc thought he was doing sending out this kind of notice. When he had discovered that Kinoc had spoken in favour of the motion to vet summoners before they began their pilgrimages, Auron had assumed that Kinoc just hadn’t been thinking about his and Braska’s journey at all, but this was clearly a targeted attack. And for Kinoc to have signed off on such offensive language being used to describe Girl – he had always disliked the Al Bhed just as much as anyone else from Bevelle, but he would know just how much this would upset and anger Braska – and Auron by extension – if they were to come across it.

None of it made any sense, he thought; pursuing Braska and trying to interfere with his pilgrimage would result in little political gain for Kinoc when he had already attained one of the highest positions in the Yevonite hierarchy.

“We’ll have to camp tonight,” he said glumly, trying to put aside his speculation about his friend’s motives. “It’s not ideal the night before Lord Braska petitions for his next æon, but they’re clearly not going to help us here. At least nobody will need to keep watch – the fiends usually stay away from built-up areas.”

“Not gonna try talkin’ ’em around?” said Jecht.

“No, there’s no point,” said Auron. He wasn’t opposed to begging when the situation required it, but no Yevonite would defy an order from Bevelle. “We’ll leave them alone.”

He cast a sharp look at the man behind the reception desk as he said it, but found him studiously avoiding his gaze, and decided there was nothing left to do beyond collecting Braska and leaving the building.

Braska was still asleep, and failed to respond to Auron’s quiet coughs and even to Jecht’s somewhat louder barks of his name; eventually, Auron was obliged to sit beside him, place a hand on his shoulder, and lean right in towards his face as he murmured, “Lord Braska. Sir.”

The firmness of his touch and the insistent invitations to wake up were at last enough for Braska, who slowly opened his eyes and cast Auron a look of disdain, instinctively annoyed to have had his sleep interrupted; after a moment, he realised who was waking him, and rearranged his features into an apologetic smile. “Is the room ready?” he asked.

Auron shook his head. “I’m sorry, sir,” he said, his hand still resting on Braska’s shoulder. “It looks like we won’t be able to stay here after all.”

“Oh,” said Braska. “But the summoner’s privilege – didn’t you say yesterday –”

“There’s some kind of directive from Bevelle,” said Auron, taking care not to be too specific about the contents of the notice. “They’ve told people not to spare us their charity, effectively. Without the gil, they won’t have us.”

“Us in particular?” said Braska.

Auron nodded. “I’m afraid so.”

“Very well,” said Braska, sighing and straightening himself up. “We’ll be camping tonight then, I suppose?”

“We’ll have to,” Auron confirmed. “I’m sorry about this, sir. I know it’s not the best news to receive just before you’re due to go to the temple – I hope this isn’t too upsetting.”

“Upsetting?” said Braska. “Oh no, Auron, we both already knew the Yevonites had it in for us. And I’m sure Jecht’s realised that by now as well. This is hardly a surprise.”

He moved to stand; Auron let his hand fall from Braska’s shoulder hastily. “If anything,” Braska announced, “this makes me still more determined to prove them wrong. I’ll make them understand, Auron – their teachings have nothing to do with the fayth’s trust. When I leave the temple tomorrow, the æon of Djose will be with me, mark my words.” He turned in the direction of the clerk, and added, “Did you hear that?”

“Sir,” Auron hissed.

“I’m just following orders,” the clerk said warily.

“Clearly,” Braska shot back. “And perhaps instead, you should learn to think for yourself, as my guardians and I have.” With that, he swept out of the inn, leaving his guardians to catch up.

Jecht raised his eyebrows at Auron as the two of them followed Braska out; once they were outside, they found him standing not far away, looking up at the temple with a steely gaze.

“I’m sure you’d like to rest, Lord Braska,” said Auron. “I’ll get the tent ready.”

He began putting it up; eventually, Braska turned to Jecht with his best attempt at a smile. “I should take Yuna’s sphere before I end up falling asleep again,” he said. “Shall we?”

They sat on the ground to record the sphere together, telling her everything they had observed about Djose while carefully avoiding any mention of the inn. Jecht finished off with a heavily expurgated version of one of the Zanarkand stories he had told Braska earlier, and then Braska signed off with his usual wave and reminder to Yuna that he loved her, before switching off the sphere recorder and pocketing the two halves of the sphere carefully.

“Have you taken any of these for your son recently?” he asked Jecht.

“Nah,” Jecht admitted, “not really. We’re gonna be comin’ back this way later, though, right? Keep thinkin’ I can just put it off until then.”

“We may not be passing through Djose again,” said Braska. “This is something of a dead end. It depends how Auron has planned the route, but I wouldn’t take it for granted.” He located a blank sphere, and handed it to Jecht along with the device. “Here, you should take one. I’m going to go and lie down, I think.”

As Braska walked off towards the tent, Jecht slotted the sphere into the recorder and switched it on. “Hey, Tidus,” he said a little awkwardly, pointing the device up towards the temple. “Uh, I guess when you see this I’ll be back home with you, and I’ll be able to tell you about it anyway, but … well, here we are in Djose. That big building is the temple – Braska’s gonna go in there tomorrow and pray to the fayth. I don’t know exactly how it works – seems like it’s kinda tough, though. But me and Auron’ll be there to help him.”

He paused, taking in the scenery. “Braska’s the summoner we’re travellin’ with,” he explained. “He’s a good guy. And Auron, uh, he’s kind of a dick. But once you get to know him, he’s …” He trailed off, unsure how to explain what he currently thought of his fellow guardian. “Ah, forget it.”

He had run out of things to say; it was difficult to connect with Tidus even at the best of times. “Well, catch ya later,” he mumbled, and stopped the recording.

Burying one of the hemispheres and keeping the other in accordance with the custom, Jecht couldn’t help thinking about Tidus. It was odd to think he had gone more than a week now without hearing the kid crying, he thought. That certainly hadn’t been something he’d expected to miss.

In his peripheral vision, he noticed Auron heading towards him, and he turned to face in his direction, eager to put the thought out of his mind. “What’s up?” he said.

“I was just thinking about dinner,” said Auron sombrely. “I didn’t think we’d need rations for tonight – I only prepared one evening’s worth in Guadosalam. We still don’t have enough money to buy anything. One of us will need to go out and see if we can forage for something – not both, I wouldn’t like to leave Lord Braska on his own. Especially while he’s sleeping.”

Jecht thought for a moment, and then said, “I’ll go – gives me somethin’ to do, you know. You can stay here with Braska. That OK?”

“Do you know what you’d be looking for?” said Auron, who rightly suspected that Jecht had no experience in foraging.

“I’ll figure it out,” said Jecht cheerfully. “Can’t be that hard, right?”

Auron raised his eyebrows, once again amazed by the fact that Jecht seemed to enjoy making as few preparations as possible for anything he became involved in. “Right,” he said, “fine. Braska probably won’t want much food, but, well … I’m quite hungry.”

“You and me both,” said Jecht with a grin. “Sure, I’ll see what I can find. See ya!”

Auron watched as Jecht jogged off, and then, with little else to do, returned to the tent. Both he and Jecht were tall enough to find it slightly cramped at the best of times; on this occasion, with the three of them all trying to sleep in there together, it looked as if it would be an uncomfortable night. Braska had already taken up his usual position at the far side, and Auron went to sit on the neighbouring bedroll, drawing his knees up to his chest as he predictably found himself thinking back to the matter of Wen Kinoc’s somewhat concerning actions.

He hadn’t got very far with puzzling out his friend’s motives even by the time Jecht returned and peered into the tent. “Hey,” he hissed. “I found some stuff, wanna come have dinner?”

“Great,” said Auron. “Give us a minute.”

Jecht nodded and withdrew, while Auron turned towards Braska. “Sir?” he said.

Braska, who had been facing the other way, slowly looked up at Auron. The light filtering into the tent from outside was still sufficient for Auron to notice that Braska’s eyes were red and a little moist, and that was enough to make him immediately forget that they were supposed to be going out to have their food.

“You said you weren’t upset,” he said; it came out sounding a lot more accusatory than he had intended.

“I’m not,” said Braska, but tears began to coat his cheeks even as he spoke. “I’m just – I don’t know – you know this just happens sometimes –”

“I thought you were going to tell me if you needed support,” Auron murmured, reaching to take Braska’s hand.

“I’m sorry,” Braska sobbed. “Awful of me – I –”

Auron shook his head, squeezing Braska’s hand more firmly. “That’s not what I meant. You don’t need to apologise, sir; I just want to help you.”

Braska sniffed a few times before replying. “They must all hate us so much,” he said quietly. “I’m used to it, of course – and it’s not as if I don’t deserve it – but you must be finding it so hard.”

“You don’t deserve it,” Auron insisted, not for the first time. “And I’m  … I’m all right. It’s like I said before: being away from Bevelle helps. I haven’t been thinking about it much; there are other things that are more important.”

“Like looking after your poor friend while he lies in his bed feeling sorry for himself,” said Braska, wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry, Auron – I’m sure you never thought being a summoner’s guardian would be like this.”

“I knew it would mean doing whatever you need, sir,” said Auron; and then, in an attempt to dispel the familiar sensation of tightness that had arisen in his chest, he at last turned his attention back to Jecht’s summons. “Jecht’s found us some dinner,” he said. “We should go and eat.”

“Oh,” said Braska, releasing his guardian’s hand. “You go – I don’t think I’m –”

“You need to have something, sir,” said Auron. “Especially when you’re going to the temple tomorrow. Just a little,” he added, seeing that Braska still seemed reluctant.

“I suppose,” said Braska, and he sat up and let Auron hand him his headdress and robes, putting them on over his nightshirt and wiping his face one last time before he followed Auron out of the tent.

Jecht had done a good job of the foraging; he handed some of the grains and leaves he had found to the others, trying not to look too closely at Braska when it was obvious he had been crying again. Braska’s mood seemed to improve over dinner, though, and he was beginning to look less miserable by the time the three of them returned to the tent to sleep. As Auron had suspected, it was a tight fit with all three sharing the same quarters. Sandwiched between Braska and Jecht, he unquestionably had the worst deal, and found that Jecht was particularly restless, prodding and kicking him in the side sporadically as the night drew in. Eventually, he became tired enough to be less bothered by the disruption, and fell into a sleep that, given the day’s events, was relatively untroubled.

12. Different

The three of them woke the next morning stiff and sore after a night spent squeezed into the tent together. Jecht quickly made his excuses and headed off for a morning jog; Auron wouldn’t have minded doing something similar himself, but he was aware that Braska probably needed support when he was due to speak to the fayth that same day, especially after how things had gone the previous evening. He stayed in the tent, massaging his neck and waiting for Braska to stir next to him.

Slowly, Braska forced himself to face the day ahead. The thought of going to the temple and petitioning the fayth was no more appealing than it had been in Macalania, but he knew it would be a mistake to put it off. The fayth there had told him to be strong; he had to show that he was prepared to face the ordeal of receiving the next æon, or it would be even harder.

He turned over, looked up into Auron’s dark eyes, and mumbled, “Morning.”

“How are you feeling?” Auron asked.

Braska considered for a long time, and then said, “Adequate.”

“Are you sure you’re ready?” said Auron.

“I haven’t much choice, Auron,” said Braska. “I’ll manage.”

They dressed and headed outside for breakfast; Jecht had kept back some fruit that he had found the previous evening. Braska wasn’t at all hungry, but he forced himself to eat, knowing he needed the sustenance. After that, Auron packed away the tent, and Braska remained seated on the ground, concentrating on staying composed.

“I wish we could have spent the night at the inn,” Auron said as he collected the tent poles. “You can’t have slept well.”

Braska shook his head. “There’s nothing we can do about it,” he murmured.

Auron grunted in response; he was still annoyed by the notice from Bevelle, and by the man in the inn’s insistence on complying with it. Summoners deserved respect, he thought, especially when they were about to commune with the fayth. Given that Braska had made it to Djose, it would have been obvious that he had already received an æon in Bevelle and probable that he had gained a second in Macalania, and that ought to have made it clear that the fayth had granted him their favour. Anything put about by mere humans was supposed to hold less sway than that, although he knew the people of Spira would always be eager to follow orders from Yevon.

Jecht returned, in a good mood after his jog; Auron frowned, and said, “You’re late.”

“Oh yeah?” said Jecht. “We gonna head already?”

Auron turned to Braska. “Sir?”

Braska nodded. “Yes,” he said, almost to himself. “I shouldn’t put it off. I need to be strong.”

“I’ll pray for you once we’re inside, my lord,” said Auron.

Jecht immediately assumed a rather unimpressed expression; Auron felt his jaw clench, but he restrained himself from reacting visibly and led the way into the temple, pausing so Braska could use the nearby sphere to transmit a record of his progress to the authorities. True to his word, Auron made straight for the statue of Lord Gandof and sank low to the ground, taking up the most pious posture of prayer he could. It had granted him a little more patience in the face of Jecht’s behaviour last time; he could only hope to benefit from the same effect again before having to spend hours with him waiting for Braska to emerge from the fayth’s chamber.

Behind him, Jecht was getting impatient. He had sneaked a few glances at Braska and each time had been disconcerted to see that the summoner looked dangerously close to crying. Braska could cry all he wanted once he was alone with the fayth, Jecht thought, but he didn’t want to be anywhere near it himself. Auron had implied his prayer would benefit Braska somehow, but all it seemed to be doing was delaying their progress and making it more likely that he would have to witness Braska’s inevitable breakdown.

“Hey!” he said, at last deciding enough was enough. “Are we gonna make a move or what?”

Auron drew himself up incredulously, and snarled, “Excuse me?”

Jecht shrugged. “Thought we were in a hurry. You said I was late – you’re always tellin’ me there’s no time to hang about –”

“But this is –” said Auron, gesturing towards Lord Gandof’s statue in angry disbelief. “That’s not – I was praying, Jecht! Someone has to, and I don’t see you making any attempt –”

“Well, it don’t seem like Braska cares about it either,” Jecht pointed out. “So why bother?”

“It’s important to him,” said Braska, almost inaudibly.

“Not to you, though, is it,” said Jecht confidently. “Never saw you doin’ any of this stuff.”

“Do you mind?” said Auron, still outraged enough to fail to notice Braska wincing a little at the sound of his raised voice. “This is a temple, Jecht – if Lord Braska doesn’t want to pray himself, that’s not my business, but –”

“Yeah,” Jecht argued, “and you keep sayin’ he’s the only one that matters! Braska gets the bed, Braska gets to decide how long we rest, Braska can sleep instead of keepin’ watch – if he don’t wanna pray, no point doin’ it at all, right?”

“This is a temple,” said Auron again. “It’s my faith.”

“And not his,” said Jecht.

“But that doesn’t mean –” Auron broke off and ran a hand over his hair. “I’m his guardian, and – you can’t expect me to accompany a summoner into a temple without taking a moment to pray! That’s absurd!”

He turned to look at Braska, and added, much more calmly, “I’m sorry about this, sir. I had thought Jecht was starting to learn some manners, but I must have been unduly optimistic.”

“Please don’t, Auron,” said Braska, not meeting his guardian’s gaze.

Auron sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I really am – I didn’t mean to upset you. You should apologise too,” he muttered to Jecht, elbowing him in the side; Jecht stepped away with a small noise of indignation, but after that, he looked at the ground and said, “Yeah, sorry, I guess.”

Braska mumbled something incomprehensible in reply before turning his back on his guardians and heading towards the elderly priest who stood at the foot of the staircase leading to the fayth’s chamber. He took a deep breath, and then spoke more loudly, trying to sound as confident as he could. “Good morning. I am a summoner, from Bevelle – I seek an audience with your fayth.”

“Oh – really?” said the priest, which was an unusual reaction: most people recognised Braska’s role from his staff and robes. “And these are your guardians, are they?” he added, as Auron and Jecht approached.

Braska nodded.

“You have guardians who insist on making a spectacle of themselves, do you?” the priest went on. “All that shouting – I’ve never heard the like of it in a temple. You should be ashamed of yourselves – especially you, young man,” he said, turning towards Auron, who had been louder at the height of the disagreement. “Have you no respect for Yevon?”

“I’m truly sorry,” said Auron quickly, ducking his head in contrition. “It was a personal dispute – we both let our emotions get the better of us. All I can do is reiterate how ashamed I am; our behaviour was unseemly, and” – he hesitated so minutely that only Jecht noticed – “may Yevon punish us for our misdeeds.”

The priest folded his arms with a little grunt of disdain. “You’ll understand,” he said, “that I’m hardly inclined to allow you to pass, after that display.”

Braska was so shocked that he couldn’t help letting out a brief gasp; Auron glanced at him momentarily, and then forced himself to turn back to the priest. “Please don’t take this as a reflection on our lord summoner,” he said. “We were both wrong to argue like that, and he tried to stop us – his concern was for the sanctity of this place. He is a good man, whose only mistake was to take pity on two flawed, imperfect people and choose them for his guardians; but under his guidance, we are learning to improve ourselves.”

Jecht just about kept himself from rolling his eyes at that – in his opinion, Auron was laying it on a little thick. The priest seemed taken in though, he noticed; he slowly nodded while Auron kept talking.

“If you must ban the two of us from the Trials,” said Auron, “at least allow our lord summoner to pass. We are the only ones at fault here, and we humbly repent, but we would understand if you were to deny us passage – just please don’t punish him as well.”

It was Braska’s turn to glance at Auron: if he was required to navigate the Trials, speak to the fayth, and find his way out alone, the task would be significantly harder, and he already wasn’t feeling his best. But Auron was doing what he could to ensure Braska could pass through, and Braska supposed he should be grateful for that – until he remembered that it was Auron’s behaviour that had got them into this situation in the first place, and he was suddenly much less inclined to feel any warmth towards him.

“Is this true?” the priest said, looking back at Braska. “You took these men into guardianship because you pitied them?”

Braska swallowed. “Yes,” he whispered, and then he spoke again, forcing his voice to come. “Yes. They were both poor unfortunate souls, lost and directionless without true knowledge of Yevon – that education had sadly been denied to them. I brought them with me so they could learn the true importance of the teachings.” It was, in a way, half-true.

Nodding slowly with an expression that was now beginning to show sincere sympathy for Jecht and Auron’s plight, the priest now looked towards Jecht, taking in his all but heretical appearance, and then said, “And what have you learnt about the teachings so far, sir guardian? Do you understand why your lord summoner is undertaking this most noble quest?”

“Uh,” said Jecht. Auron turned around to look at him as he tried to come up with a suitable answer, glaring with such intensity that Jecht was surprised not to find a pair of holes burning themselves into his face.

“Well, as far as I know,” he said eventually, “Sin goes around destroyin’ stuff, and summoners are the only ones that can stop it, so they have to, uh, get the æons, and then have some kinda battle. And then Sin goes away, but it comes back again later, right? And the summoners always die when they fight Sin, so we need to make sure there’s enough of ’em, cos otherwise Sin would just be around forever, and maybe it’d get stronger or somethin’ if there was nobody around to stop it. So … guardians need to protect summoners, and everybody else needs to support ’em too, cos they’re important. Hope,” he concluded triumphantly. “They give Spira hope. And they’re the only people that can do that, so the rest of us all just need to help out as much as we can.”

“Oh, you poor man,” said the priest. “I’m sure you lived in terrible conditions before your lord summoner found you.”

“Oh yeah, real bad,” said Jecht cheerfully, correctly surmising that this was what the priest wanted to hear. “I used to just lie around drinkin’ all the time, didn’t know anythin’ about Yevon or any of that. If it wasn’t for this pilgrimage … I dunno, I might even be dead or somethin’. Used to get mixed up with a lot of bad guys, you see.”

“Or maybe you’d be in prison,” Auron couldn’t help muttering.

Jecht nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, probably.”

“How awful,” said the priest. “May the blessing of Yevon be on you – both of you. Your lord summoner has done you both a great service. It is no easy task to sculpt simple, ignorant folk into good, pious men, and I see he still has much work ahead of him.” He gestured towards the steps behind him, and turned to address Braska once more. “You may proceed. I shall pray for your success. It cannot be easy with guardians such as these.”

“It’s not,” Braska muttered, before he gathered his robes in front of him and began to head up the stairs, his guardians following behind.

As soon as they were through the door, Jecht let out a quiet laugh. “Oh man,” he said. “Fooled him good.”

Auron ignored him and looked towards Braska instead; the summoner was still and quiet, his gaze turned towards the ground. “Sir?” he enquired.

“I cannot believe,” said Braska softly, “that the two of you almost put an end to this entire pilgrimage.” His voice wavered as he spoke; his eyes were beginning to sting.

“Sir,” said Auron again.

“No, Auron,” said Braska, more loudly but just as unsteadily. “I’m not interested in more of your apologies. You know what this pilgrimage means to me.” He paused. “And to everyone in Spira, of course. I’m very disappointed in you both.”

Auron looked down, unsure of how to respond. He knew Braska had already been struggling when they entered the temple, and the fact that the priest had considered denying them passage had clearly been a significant setback. Braska was on the verge of tears again; it didn’t bode well for his chances with the fayth.

“We gonna do this, then?” said Jecht awkwardly, gesturing at the wall in front of him, where two glowing spheres flanked a circular door.

“Maybe we should wait here for a while,” said Auron, still looking at Braska, but the summoner shook his head vehemently.

“We’ll go on,” he said, even as the last syllable he uttered turned into a harsh sob.

“Are you –” Auron began.

“Yes, I’m sure, Auron,” Braska snapped, raising a shaking hand to wipe his face.

Tearing his gaze away from Braska, Auron looked ahead instead, trying to focus on the puzzle that had presented itself to them without much success. He couldn’t see anything to indicate which of the two spheres in the wall should be moved, nor where it ought to go; he stared blankly at them some more, and found himself distracted by the irregular sniffs and hiccoughs coming from Braska’s direction.

“No problem,” said Jecht knowledgeably, moving to Auron’s side. “The great Jecht’ll sort this one out, just you watch.”

Auron looked at him and sighed. “Fine,” he said. “Go ahead.”

In little time, Jecht had opened the door; there, he immediately realised that the rest of the puzzle was somewhat more complex. A corridor led the way to more spheres and more indentations, and there was a symbol of the holy alphabet in the middle of the floor upon which sat a pedestal of the same type that had had to be pushed around interminably at Macalania. Jecht frowned as he surveyed the scene in front of him: it was too complicated for him to solve by intuition alone.

Now that they had moved forward and left Braska further behind, Auron found himself more able to concentrate, and he examined the spheres as well, looking at the lit and unlit tracks that ran along the floor and walls, before eventually murmuring, “This one.”

Between the two of them, they slowly managed to manipulate the puzzle until it was solved, with only a brief and relatively peaceful debate about who would need to cross the lightning pit that had revealed itself in order to push a second pedestal that lay on the other side. Jecht maintained that Auron would be the lighter of the two of them, as he was slightly shorter, and that would make it safer for him to use the rather unstable-looking platform; Auron pointed out that Jecht was wearing fewer clothes than he was, and was therefore likely to be less weighed down overall. Eventually, Auron conceded just to break the stalemate, although he insisted on removing his robe first, and left Jecht holding it and his sword while he carefully leapt across the gap.

Eventually, they jointly succeeded in correctly placing the remaining spheres, so that the symbol on the ground was fully lit; a platform formed on its surface, clearly their means of ascending to the upper level and reaching the chamber of the fayth. “That’s it, then,” said Auron. He turned to look back in Braska’s direction, and added, “I’ll go and get him.”

Drawing near, he found that Braska had retreated into a sitting position on the ground, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, but had mercifully stopped crying. “We’ve finished the puzzle, my lord,” he said. “Perhaps you should –”

Braska opened his eyes; he scrambled ungracefully to his feet, taking hold of his staff, and began to make his way towards the platform without a word.

“I was about to say,” Auron added, following behind him, “maybe you should take some more time to rest, before you go in? Sir?”

Braska continued to ignore him; he strode towards the platform and hastened onto it without a glance at his guardians. They hurriedly joined him before it began to ascend; as it brought them to the upper level, Braska headed on just as quickly, continued up the stairs to the left, and made his way without hesitation towards the door set into the opposite wall of the antechamber. He laid a hand on it and it rose to let him through; he walked on resolutely.

Groaning in frustration as he reached the top of the stairs himself, Auron kicked at the wall, flung his sword aside, and sat down heavily on the ground with a glare in Jecht’s direction.

“Oh, what,” said Jecht, appearing behind him, “is it my fault now? You mad at me again?”

Auron looked down at his feet for a long time before answering. “I’m angry with myself,” he said. “I’m disappointed in myself. I shouldn’t lose my temper like that – Braska’s right, I nearly cost him the pilgrimage –”

Jecht chuckled. “He’s just as bad as you are,” he pointed out. “Goin’ from zero to fuckin’ breakdown in sixty seconds.”

“He’s not well,” said Auron. “He has an excuse – I don’t.”

“Not an excuse to be a dick,” said Jecht.

“He wasn’t being a –”

Jecht cut Auron off. “Look, he knows you didn’t mean to get us in trouble with that guy. And you’re the one that got us out of it, too, comin’ up with that stuff about Braska liftin’ us out of our miserable existence or whatever. And after that, he still goes and gives you the silent treatment? He’s bein’ a dick, Auron. Just like you were, after you guys had that other argument before.”

Auron looked down again, and said, very quietly, “He’s not.”

He carefully retrieved his sword from the ground, laid it across his lap, and ran the fingers of his gloved hand across the flat of the blade. Then, he tucked a few stray strands of hair behind his ear, and added, “It’s my fault. I deserve it.”

“Oh, man,” said Jecht, rolling his eyes. “You know what, Auron? Self-pity really ain’t your thing. What happened to I’m the greatest warrior monk in Spira with my big sword that can cut through anything, I’m gonna find a way to stop Sin without anyone havin’ to die? Huh?”

Auron said nothing; Jecht shoved against his arm, causing him to flinch away violently, and said again, with much more insistence, “Huh?”

“Do you mind?” Auron hissed, rubbing his arm where Jecht had dug into it.

“Well, when are you gonna stop actin’ so fuckin’ sorry for yourself?” Jecht demanded.

“I didn’t realise I was offending you so much,” said Auron.

“Damn right you are,” said Jecht.

“Forgive me,” said Auron, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

Jecht smirked; passive-aggressive Auron was a significant improvement on the pathetically remorseful version he had just experienced. “That’s the spirit,” he said cheerfully. “You gotten anywhere with that, anyway? The changin’ the Final Summoning thing?”

“Maybe,” said Auron. “I might have a lead with the Guado – I’m planning to ask again when we head back. Other than that, I –” He frowned and cut himself off. “Why am I telling you this?” he muttered. “It’s not as if you care!”

“Yeah?” said Jecht. As much as his primary aim was still getting back to Zanarkand, he thought it was pretty clear by now that he did have some investment in the pilgrimage – the decision he had made on the bank of the Moonflow was evidence enough of that, he thought. But Auron was evidently too concerned with other matters to have noticed, and, Jecht decided, maybe it would be better to keep things that way.

“Just makin’ conversation, Auron,” he said, stretching his arms out casually. “You don’t gotta talk to me if you don’t wanna.”

Auron grunted in response, and that was the last either of them said for a long time.

It took a sudden loud noise outside for the two of them to break their silence. The sound was like a spark of electricity, followed by a great rumbling all around them; it quickly died down to a low hum.

“That a storm startin’?” Jecht guessed. “Better be over by the time we get outta here. Wouldn’t wanna camp out in that.”

Auron shook his head. “No,” he said, “it’s the rock. The one that surrounds the temple – you remember? That’s why they call it the Lightning Mushroom Rock.”

“What?” said Jecht.

“Well,” Auron explained, “you know the shape of a mushroom –” He gestured with both hands. “When a summoner addresses the fayth, the temple releases energy in the form of lightning, and the lightning parts the rock and suspends the pieces in the air around the building.”

“So, like, there are just big bits of stone floating there? Man, this place is crazy,” said Jecht. “I gotta go see this.”

He made for the exit, and was barely surprised to hear Auron calling him back immediately. “No, Jecht,” said Auron, “we have to stand guard. He might need us.”

Jecht made a face. “You think he’ll be out already? The last one took hours and hours.”

“You never know,” said Auron. “He was successful with the fayth there – but here, if it rejects him –”

“You think that’ll happen?” said Jecht.

“Well, I hope not, obviously,” Auron replied, “but if it does, he could be out at any time.”

“Huh,” said Jecht. He thought for a moment, and then came to a sudden realisation, moving closer to Auron to point an accusatory finger in his direction. “Ha!” he exclaimed. “That’s what you want, ain’t it? You want the fayth to turn him away, so he don’t gotta do the Final Summoning!”

“No,” said Auron, “I –”

“You want him to survive, right?” said Jecht. “So you’re just waitin’ for one of ’em to say no – admit it.”

Auron shook his head; this was something he had spent a long time thinking about. “You saw what he was like today. If the fayth denied him, he’d be – it would destroy him. I need to find some way of seeing the pilgrimage through and keeping him alive at the same time – it’s the only solution.” He turned to look at the door that led to the fayth’s chamber, not wanting to acknowledge the sceptical expression on Jecht’s face, and added, “But I think we might be in trouble. I wasn’t expecting the fayth to take so long to appear.”

“How so?” said Jecht.

“As far as I’m aware,” Auron said, “the fayth normally manifests itself pretty much as soon as the summoner begins to pray. That’s when the lightning is released and the rock opens. I assumed we just hadn’t heard it from in here, but if that was it just now –” He glanced back towards the door again. “That means he was in there that long before the fayth showed itself.”

“So what does that mean?” Jecht prompted him.

“I don’t know,” Auron admitted. “But it’s probably not good.”

Auron was right; it had indeed been a long time before the fayth deigned to appear. Braska had entered the chamber, which was mercifully connected directly to the previous room on this occasion, unlike in Macalania. He had knelt in prayer immediately, doing his best to forget the unpleasantness that had come before, but nothing had happened; and so he had stayed in the same position, fervently willing the fayth to speak to him even as his knees became increasingly painful against the stone beneath them. After some time had passed, his legs were numb and had begun to tremble, but he ignored the discomfort and persisted, trying to focus totally on his mental entreaty to the fayth.

Eventually, it paid off; he heard a low, calm voice above him. “Summoner.”

Braska scrambled to his feet, gasping in pain, and looked at the spectre in front of him. It was a middle-aged man, much older than the fayth of Macalania, dressed in archaic clothes that Braska nonetheless recognised as belonging to someone who was a sailor by trade; the top of his head was hidden under a large tricorn hat.

“Others would have given up by now,” the fayth said. “With no answer to their call – they would have accepted that they lack what is needed to gain my æon. But you, summoner – you did not turn back.”

I waited, Braska thought, and I would have waited hours more. Days.

“Do you desire this so much?” the fayth asked him.

More than anything, Braska thought.

“You have impressed me, summoner,” the fayth went on. “Determination is a great quality. Many summoners lack it – they think the pilgrimage will be some merry jaunt up and down Spira, with the occasional excursion to call upon one of my fellows; the moment something impedes them, they back away at once, professing never to have wanted our aid at all. We grow tired, summoner, of such inconstancy. But I sense it in your mind – you are dedicated. Your sole aim is the Final Summoning.”

Yes, thought Braska. Absolutely. It is my only goal.

The fayth continued to observe him wordlessly.

But, Braska couldn’t help thinking, you doubt me, do you not? Your delay in approaching me – it must be because you find some fault in me. Tell me what I lack, and I will do all I can to overcome it – I will show you that I am worthy of your æon.

“You are right, summoner,” said the fayth. “I did not appear to you, because within your mind I sensed thoughts that troubled me. Such thoughts would hinder summoners on their journey; and in you they are dark and strong. If you continue fomenting such thoughts, you will not meet success.”

Tell me, please, Braska thought again.

“In life,” said the fayth, “hundreds of years ago, I was a merchant sailor. I travelled up and down the Moonflow, buying and selling goods at the villages on its banks. And those times were hard: there were storms, famine, raids – and Sin, of course.”

Braska nodded. He knew a fair amount of Spiran history: Sin had been a near-constant threat for the past thousand years, but it had rarely been the only hardship that the people had had to contend with. In many ways, things were better for his generation than they had been in the past, even outside the relative safety of Bevelle.

“It was a difficult time,” the fayth said again, “and no man would have managed such a task on his own, of that I am certain. You see, summoner: I was not alone in my duties. I was part of a whole crew of men, some strong, some quick-witted, some diligent. None of us was a perfect man, but no man can be perfect when he works alone. Together, we fulfilled our duties. It was teamwork that allowed us to achieve our goals; without it, we would have failed.”

He offered Braska a stare that was no less piercing for its incorporeality. “And summoners are the same,” he continued. “Without his guardians, a summoner is nothing. Nothing. Your guardians protect you, summoner; they guard you from fiends by night, and they advise you, and they take your hand when you are unwell and uncertain; and above all, they are crucial in your journey to the Final Æon. A summoner who approached Zanarkand with no guardian would be unable to proceed. It is impossible to succeed in your quest without guardians. And yet, summoner, when I look into your mind, I find doubt and resentment towards the men who accompany you.”

Had Braska been speaking out loud, he would have covered up his true feelings with an apology; but his instinctive reaction was too forceful to hide when the fayth had access to his thoughts. They wronged me, he found himself thinking. They embarrassed me. They almost threw away the pilgrimage.

“It was not your guardians who jeopardised the pilgrimage, summoner,” said the fayth gravely. “Nobody has the right to decide who may gain the æon of Djose but me. And when you approached, I was disinclined to hear your supplication. I sensed that displeasure that you harbour towards your guardians, and I was certain that such a man would never be worthy of my æon.”

“No,” said Braska, sheer desperation driving him to speak out loud.

“When I was a sailor,” said the fayth, “and one of my crew made an error of judgement – when a man misspoke, or acted wrongly, or neglected his duties – we showed him mercy. He repented, and we forgave him. For we needed his strength. It did us no favours to cultivate rancour among us. You must show that same spirit towards your guardians – for while they protect you, you are their guide. You are leading them towards the promise of a safe, peaceful Spira, and if they make mistakes on that journey, it is because they are human.”

Braska nodded slowly, too sorrowful to attempt to shape his thoughts into words. The fayth was right; he couldn’t deny it. Anything the priests and the temples might say about who was allowed to pass through to the Cloister of Trials was so insignificant, in comparison with the decisions of the fayth themselves, and Braska had lost sight of that. He had been so volatile, so quick to turn against his guardians, that he had turned away from what really mattered. He had been cruel to Auron, mere days after their last awful argument; on that occasion, he had embraced Auron and sworn to put such disagreements aside. It had been Auron who was stubborn then, and Braska who had sought to repair their friendship; and now, he realised, he was the one who had gone too far.

I was wrong, he thought at last. I see that now. I too am human, and flawed, and petty, and – I should have forgiven him. It did no good to act in that way.

“Summoner,” said the fayth, “it cheers me to hear that you repent. I can tell that you are sincere, and that you understand the importance of this matter. But how am I to know you will not err again? How can I willingly grant you my æon, when that bond with your guardians is so delicate?”

Let me show you, Braska begged him. Look into my memories – you will see that I treasure him. Please.

“Very well,” said the fayth, and he stepped forward and clamped both ghostly hands onto Braska’s shoulders.

Immediately, Braska’s mind was transported to the day he had first met Auron – that cold, windy day at the docks. He felt his own mouth smile, and the sensation of it was like being punched in the stomach – he had been that happy once. Cast out from Yevon, friendless, anxious about his family’s future, and yet, in essence, happy; the emotion felt as if it belonged to another man.

He watched glumly as the images of the past moved on, showing his developing friendship with Auron. A disgraced ex-priest becoming friends with one of Bevelle’s most promising young warrior monks had certainly turned heads, and Auron had had pressure put on him to abandon their alliance; but he had been true to his own beliefs, as he always was. Braska watched those memories unfold, and saw how loyal Auron had been throughout; he had never wavered.

And then: the worst period of Braska’s life. Girl was gone, and everything was dark and slow, and Braska felt it again, that awful feeling of complete despair. He had lain in his bed for days, weeks; the house had been so quiet with Yuna sequestered away in some convent that Braska had sometimes thought, in his grief, that he had died himself. But it was Auron who had insisted on visiting him, coming to sit at his bedside even when Braska tearfully requested that he turn back and leave him to fade away. It was Auron who had brought him food and coaxed him to eat when he felt sick and weak, and who had helped him gain the strength and the courage to leave the house and walk among the people of Bevelle as if he was anything like them.

The images changed; Braska undertook his summoner’s training, and still Auron was by his side, making preparations for the practical elements of the pilgrimage while Braska did his best to ensure he was spiritually ready. They had several terrible arguments at that time about Braska’s fitness to undertake the journey and Auron’s motives for accompanying him, and as Braska relived the memories of those moments, he found himself struck by the passion they had both had, and the way each of them insisted his own way of doing things was what was right for the other, as if each of them knew the other better than the other knew himself. Perhaps it was true, Braska thought sorrowfully.

They came to memories that were more recent again, just a few weeks before the pilgrimage: Auron’s ordeal. Now it was time for Braska to look after him in turn. He had welcomed Auron into his home when almost everyone else in Bevelle had turned against him; he had healed his injuries, and done his best to minimise the emotional damage in tandem, and the need to take care of Auron had made him feel a little less worthless for a short while. At the same time, he had begun to wonder whether to recruit a second guardian, worrying that Auron’s duties might be too much for him so soon after his troubles.

Neither of them had expected a man like Jecht; there were no men like Jecht to be found anywhere in Spira. As he watched the scenes of their first meeting, and those tense first few days on the road, he wondered what the fayth made of him. Jecht was ignorant of Spiran ways, and he made mistakes, but Braska appreciated his presence; as dear as Auron was to Braska, he had never been good at relaxing and enjoying himself. It was a relief to have a guardian to whom these things came more naturally, just to alleviate a little of Braska’s misery.

They were both such a help to him, he reflected; especially Auron. The thought that his own stubbornness had almost cost him the pilgrimage hurt even more when he considered it: if he could just focus a little less on his own difficulties sometimes and consider his guardians, he would remember how much he ought to be cherishing them. As the memories stopped and he returned to the present, he looked up at the fayth and whimpered, “I’m sorry.”

The fayth nodded solemnly, keeping his grip on Braska’s shoulders, as Braska felt himself dissolve into tears once again. I’m sorry, he thought, thankful that there was no need to force words out between his sobs. You were right – without them, the pilgrimage would be nothing. Without him, I would already be gone, without even the merest hint of a Calm in exchange.

“Summoner,” the fayth intoned, “I see now that you do treasure your guardians. You must not lose sight of that.”

Never, Braska thought, never. I promise.

“You know there is one more thing we must do to complete the ritual,” said the fayth. “Do you wish to go on?”

After the strain of witnessing his own memories, Braska felt ready to pass out, but he knew this was a test: if he asked for some time to pause and gather his emotions, it would be proof that he lacked the strength and dedication to gain the æon.

Yes, he thought.

“This will be difficult for you,” the fayth said. “You are already troubled – this will cause you pain.”

Show me, Braska implored him.

Suddenly, his mind was filled with images again, and he understood the life that the fayth had described to him. He watched as countless journeys across the Moonflow ended in calamity, as men and valuable cargo were lost to storms and Sin; he saw the desperation of the villagers when their homes were destroyed time after time. And on each occasion, experiencing the memory so vividly, he felt their sorrow and pain within himself, and each new tragedy he witnessed was like a new wound.

Just one thing provided a degree of respite: the camaraderie among the sailors. Braska watched, and understood their closeness; he saw that their unwavering loyalty to the crew was the one thing that gave them the courage to persist in their service. And he knew that his own pilgrimage would be the same: when they drew near Zanarkand, and came close to the end, his own guardians would be his only source of strength. The hope that he and Auron always spoke of was completely dependent on their bond.

The images faded, and the fayth leant in close. “Your guardian,” he said urgently. “He is not like us – he is different. He may be the one to end our torment. Do not forget.”

He let go of Braska’s shoulders; immediately, Braska’s knees buckled, and he lost consciousness.

13. With Compliments

In the antechamber, the noise of Braska’s fall to the ground was loud enough to be heard by Auron and Jecht, whose conversation had dried up some time earlier. Auron turned his head towards the sound, wincing a little; he could guess that it signified the end of the fayth’s ritual, although not whether it had been successful.

“He’ll probably be out in a moment,” he said.

“Sounds like he fell over,” said Jecht.

Auron hummed in agreement.

“Ain’t you gonna go check on him?” Jecht suggested.

“It’s against the teachings,” said Auron. “Only summoners can enter the chamber of the fayth. I’m sure he’ll be all right.” The last sentence wasn’t entirely true: he was still worried that something had gone wrong, especially when it had taken such a long time for the fayth to appear. But Braska was already angry with him, and would be incensed if he were to disrupt the sanctity of the fayth’s chamber, he knew.

“The teachings?” said Jecht; the phrase took him back to the notice he had read at the inn. “Didn’t they say you defiled those, or whatever?”

Auron sighed. “Supposedly.”

“Aw, you can’t leave me hangin’,” said Jecht, grinning. “What did you do?”

“It’s not –” Auron began, and then he looked towards the door again. “I don’t want to discuss it,” he said.

“Sounds like it was real bad,” said Jecht gleefully. “But, hey, if you already did something Yevon don’t approve of, what’s the harm in doin’ it some more?”

“That doesn’t follow,” said Auron. “Regardless of what the priests think of me, I still try to follow the teachings when I can. It’s only when –” He paused. “Sometimes the way the teachings tell you to live just conflicts with who you are. And that can’t be helped.”

He looked down, and resolved to say no more; he had already revealed too much to Jecht, certainly a lot more than he had ever planned to.

Jecht was about to try provoking him into elaborating, but fortunately for Auron, the door to the chamber of the fayth creaked open at that moment, and they both turned to see Braska staggering out, leaning heavily on his staff as he slowly advanced towards them.

Auron stood immediately and made his way to Braska’s side, supporting him as he took a few more steps before gently guiding him to sit on the ground, studying his demeanour for some clue as to whether he had been successful. Braska’s face was pale and drenched in sweat; his eyes were downcast and it seemed that he barely registered Auron’s presence. It looked bad, Auron thought, but it was impossible to tell.

He sat beside Braska, placing a hand against his arm, and looked up at Jecht, who seemed revulsed by what he was witnessing. “You’re not going to bail this time, I hope,” he said pointedly.

Jecht sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Looks like you got it covered,” he mumbled.

“You could assist,” Auron pointed out. “If you’ve got any potions on you, for example; and ether, if we have any –”

Nodding in resignation, Jecht searched his belongings and succeeded in finding both a potion and a bottle of ether, which he hastily passed to Auron while doing his very best not to linger on Braska’s distressed expression. Auron unstopped the bottles and handed them one by one to Braska, using his other hand to guide Braska’s towards each bottle and then to his mouth.

After drinking both, Braska was more lucid, and he clutched Auron’s hand tightly while he regained his senses, forcing out slow breaths in an attempt to ground himself.

“My lord,” said Auron quietly, “may I ask – did you succeed?”

Braska nodded slowly, and then spoke, his voice halting and distant. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, I have the æon. Ixion.” He didn’t recall the fayth telling him the æon’s name out loud, but now that its spirit was within him, he knew it instinctively.

“Well done,” said Auron, squeezing Braska’s hand in return as an attempt to distract himself from the familiar mixed emotions he was experiencing.

Braska was becoming more aware of his surroundings by the moment. Soon, he remembered the fayth’s warning, and the fact that he had left his guardians on bad terms; he recalled the intensity of his anger, and the shame of it made him almost breathless.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, clutching at Auron as his eyes began to fill with tears again; he bent forward to hide his face in Auron’s robe. “Sorry,” he moaned again; “I’m sorry, Auron, forgive me –”

“It’s all right,” said Auron, holding onto Braska tightly with both hands. “It’s fine.”

“And you too, Jecht,” Braska sobbed, looking up so he could determine where Jecht was standing before reaching towards him with a shaking hand. At the sight of Auron’s stern look, Jecht reluctantly stepped forward and met the hand with his own, finding it grabbed with surprising strength.

“Uh, it’s OK,” he said, before quickly letting go and retreating again, ignoring Auron’s unimpressed expression.

Once Braska’s distress seemed to have subsided a little, Auron decided it was time to raise the suggestion that they might leave the temple. The prospect of returning to the tent with Braska in this condition was grim – it would have been far preferable to have a proper bed to take him back to, along with the other comforts that the inn would have provided – but at least Braska would be able to lie down, which was better than continuing to sit on the cold, hard temple floor.

“Can you stand, sir?” he asked.

Braska wiped his eyes and nodded, and Auron took that as his cue to hoist him to his feet, keeping his own arm securely fixed against Braska’s back as Braska whimpered and gripped Auron tightly in return, swaying from side to side a little as he tried to balance himself.

“Jecht,” Auron hissed. “I could do with some help here.”

Looking extremely put out, Jecht nonetheless moved to Braska’s other side to add the support of his own arm, and the three of them advanced slowly and clumsily towards the stairs that led back down towards the exit. Once they reached the steps, it was impossible to keep going with all three abreast, so Jecht detached himself and walked in front, turning to face Braska so he could catch him if he stumbled forwards.

They reached the lower floor after a few near misses, huddled together on the lift that took them back to the Trials, and made their way through the corridor towards the temple atrium; Jecht positioned himself in front again as they advanced down the second set of stairs leading to the main hall of the temple, and then he returned to Braska’s side for the walk back outside.

Having retreated to a quiet spot away from the main path through the town, Braska sat on the ground while Auron and Jecht erected the tent together, and then Auron guided Braska to his bedroll and assisted him in removing his headdress, taking out his own handkerchief to dab at Braska’s clammy forehead; afterwards, he looked down at him with concern while Braska lay there, twitching and grimacing in discomfort.

“Does it hurt a lot, my lord?” he asked softly.

Even the sound of his gentle voice made Braska’s head throb; he squeezed his eyes tightly shut in response. Auron watched him with increasing despondency; potions were never sufficient to assist in situations like this, and it seemed as if Djose’s fayth had taken the greatest toll on Braska yet. There were a few rarer medicines that would be useful, but they were difficult to obtain on the road. If they had been permitted to use the services of the inn, it was likely that he would have found something there to help, particularly as the establishment was fairly close to the temple. Auron looked at Braska’s creased brow, ran a hand over his shoulder, and then decided that the situation was untenable; the inn was bound to have medicine, and he was going to need to convince them to give him some.

“I’ll be right back,” he promised, slipping out of the tent before he had a chance to gauge Braska’s reaction to his departure. Jecht was sitting on the ground outside, having decided to keep his distance; he looked up hesitantly when Auron emerged.

“Do you have the money?” Auron asked him.

Jecht did; he handed over the purse, still mostly empty apart from the few fiend bounties they had collected since crossing the Moonflow. “Ain’t much in there,” he noted.

“Yeah,” said Auron, looking inside. “I know this won’t get us far, but as a gesture –” He closed the purse firmly. “Lord Braska needs medicine. I’m going to go back to the inn and see if they’ll spare us anything.”

“Want backup?” Jecht said.

Auron shook his head. “We shouldn’t leave him on his own. You should stay here in case he needs one of us.”

“Oh,” said Jecht, “uh, maybe you should do that, and I’ll go ask for the stuff? You’re better at –” He waved a hand towards the tent. “You know.”

“I’m better at this too,” said Auron brusquely, before turning and heading towards the inn.

He went inside, and was disappointed to find the same clerk as the previous day on duty. “What do you want?” the man asked.

“My lord summoner’s in a bad way,” said Auron, emptying the contents of the purse onto the desk. “I know this isn’t much, but if there’s any medicine you can spare us, we’ll be grateful.”

The clerk looked down with disdain. “That’d barely get you a potion,” he said. “You know the rules: we can’t help you.”

Auron ran a hand through his hair. “Please,” he said. “This is all the money we have at the moment – you can take it all, and I’ll repay you in kind, too, if there’s anything you need help with. Lord Braska’s really not well – I’m worried about him.” He watched with increasing desperation as the clerk made a careful show of inspecting his own fingernails. As much as Auron wanted to slam a fist onto the desk to force him to pay attention, he knew getting angry would only make things worse.

“Your fayth clearly sets a formidable challenge,” he said instead, wondering if flattery would be a productive route. “Lord Braska’s emotions were already compromised when he went in to make his petition, and as I understand it, he was nearly unsuccessful in winning the æon.”

At that, the clerk looked up sharply. “Hold on,” he said. “Your summoner has the æon?”

“That’s right,” said Auron, “as of about an hour ago. We’re just back from the temple.”

“Oh,” said the clerk, frowning.

“Perhaps I wasn’t clear,” Auron went on. “It’s the fayth that put him in this state – I think he reacted badly to the ritual. He managed to complete it, but it seems like it was very painful for him.”

“Right,” said the clerk; he tapped the notice that Auron and Jecht had read the previous evening, still on the desk in front of him. “That’s .. interesting. The man who brought this from Bevelle seemed certain that he would have no chance of gaining our æon. He said nobody who had committed such heresy against Yevon would manage it.”

“But he already has the æons of Bevelle and Macalania,” Auron pointed out.

The clerk nodded. “Yes. He told me Bevelle’s fayth is undiscerning, and he suggested Macalania was a fluke, but if your summoner has ours now, as well –” He blinked down at the desk distractedly. “We do have a little pack that we usually give to summoners. If yours really has won the trust of the fayth, perhaps Yevon should be on his side after all. I wouldn’t want to get in his way, if he’s …”

He sighed, and then reached underneath the desk and retrieved a small box. “Here. Don’t mention this to anyone, but there are some things in here that might help.”

Auron gestured towards the money on the desk. “Do you want –”

“No, keep it,” said the clerk. “You’re going to need it. Yevon preserve you.”

“I appreciate it,” said Auron, sweeping the coins back into the purse. “You’ll be in my prayers – thank you.”

He walked over to the seating area and carefully opened the box, rolling his eyes at the overly fancy way it had been packaged. At Macalania, he thought as he undid the ribbon, they had at least had the good taste not to do this. But the further one was from Bevelle, the less frequently summoners would come to petition the fayth; it made sense that the provincial establishments would put more effort in.

There was a card nestled among the contents of the box that declared it was offered to summoners with the compliments of the inn; Auron didn’t bother to read it, although he found himself letting out an incredulous laugh when he saw what else was inside. A few potions, of course, and even a small bottle of ether; a couple of tablets that Auron knew were particularly effective when taken in conjunction with the former; bandages; a few sachets of powder whose function he would be able to guess from their smell; and a set of elemental gems, fire, water, lightning and ice, each about the right size for Auron to hold in his palm. What made him laugh was the fact that nearly all these items, barring the bandages and potions, were typically used exclusively by the Al Bhed. The inn hadn’t quite gone so far as to hand him a box full of machina, but it was the next best thing – the Al Bhed, who tended to lack skills in magic and often didn’t have the build for physical combat, were known for using these sorts of items against fiends.

It was utterly hypocritical, Auron thought, for Yevonites to denounce Braska for relations with the Al Bhed while at the same time handing over these items to summoners. He had thought this sort of two-faced behaviour was most rampant in Bevelle, but was beginning to suspect it happened a lot elsewhere as well.

He put the items back into the box, thinking about how to use them. The fire gem would permit them a small campfire without requiring Braska to expend magical power, while applying the ice gem to his brow would help soothe his headache. The water gem could provide fresh water to drink, and some of that could have one of the powders added to it to create a solution that would send Braska to sleep for a while and allow him some painless rest. The bandages could be used to compress his knees after hours of kneeling before the fayth. Overall, there were certainly a few things that would help, even if they remained unable to use the inn’s facilities otherwise.

Stopping briefly outside the tent to leave the fire gem in Jecht’s possession along with a short explanation, he went in and began seeing to Braska, making use of the various items as he saw fit. Having firmly bandaged Braska’s knees and refrained from making any remarks about how thin his legs were, he located a cup in which he could mix the sleeping solution, and knocked the water gem against it until a sufficient amount of water had been released.

“Auron,” Braska murmured as he did so, “you’re so good to me. What would I do without you?”

“Just doing my duty, sir,” said Auron, lifting each of the sachets of powder to his nose in turn to determine which was the right one to use.

“The fayth said something about you,” Braska said quietly, holding the ice gem steady against his forehead as he drew himself into a sitting position in preparation for drinking the solution. “I can’t quite remember – but he said you were special. You may have what it takes, he said, to end their torment – or something like that. I didn’t quite understand, I’m afraid, but that’s the essence of it.”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Auron, handing over the cup. “Drink this.”

Braska took it obediently, drank it down, and then lay back once again; within moments, he was asleep. Auron sat watching him for a moment, and then turned away, allowing himself to think about what the summoner had said now that his immediate needs had been taken care of. If the fayth really thought there was something special about him, he thought, it was clearly something to do with his resolution to change the Final Summoning. As he had suspected, he had what it took to find some way of altering the pilgrimage’s usual course – he just needed to keep looking for it.

He went outside, and found Jecht sitting by the newly lit campfire.

“Hey, that gem thing worked,” said Jecht happily. “Just chucked it on the ground and it went straight up.”

“Yeah, they do that,” said Auron. “I’m going to consult the temple archives. If Lord Braska wakes up and asks, I’ve gone to meditate.”

Jecht whooped with laughter. “Meditate? Ain’t never seen you do that. You should try, though, it might stop you bein’ so cranky all the time.”

Auron merely grimaced in response; Jecht didn’t know it, but he had made a valid point. Meditation was an important element of Yevonite spiritual practice, especially among warrior monks, and Auron had once been in the habit of doing it at least once a day. Since everything that had happened in Bevelle, though, he had rarely been able to bring himself to try.

He headed off towards the temple; Jecht grinned to himself before returning his attention to the fire. It was a good, strong flame, he thought, despite having come from something that he had assumed was merely a stone until Auron had explained its use.

A long time passed; Jecht was beginning to suspect he ought to be going into the tent to check on Braska, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Eventually, his moral dilemma was solved when Braska himself emerged from the tent and slowly made his way to sit on the opposite side of the fire, holding the ice gem against his head again.

“Uh,” said Jecht, feeling very uncomfortable, “you … doin’ OK?”

“I’m a bit better, thank you,” said Braska. “I thought some fresh air might do me good.” He looked around, and then added, a little more sharply, “Where’s Auron?”

“He, uh, went to meditate,” said Jecht.

Braska nodded; he seemed convinced by what Jecht considered a very obvious lie, although maybe, Jecht thought, his critical faculties were impaired for the time being.

“He’s so valuable to me,” said Braska. “Such a wonderful guardian – I’d get nowhere at all without his help.” His eyes were beginning to moisten again; he took a deep breath, and said, “I’m sorry. I know this sort of thing makes you feel uncomfortable.”

“Can’t be helped,” said Jecht, looking away.

“Indeed it can’t,” Braska replied. “There’s something about the ritual to gain the æons that mixes the physical and the spiritual, somehow – I don’t quite understand how it works, but those emotions turn into real wounds, almost. I was already out of sorts when I approached the fayth, so it caused me more pain than it might have otherwise. Auron was – excuse me –” He located his handkerchief and dabbed at his eyes. “Auron was right; I should have taken a moment to rest. I’m hardly making things easy for him, especially after –” He cut himself off, shaking his head.

“He did something that got him in trouble, right?” said Jecht.

“Yes,” said Braska morosely. “I’m sorry, Jecht, I don’t mean to keep secrets from you, but it’s not my place to tell you what happened – that’s Auron’s decision. But you’re right, there was some nasty business at the temple. They were so cruel to him. Fortunately, we had the excuse of this pilgrimage to get him away from Bevelle.” He sighed. “And then he has to spend the journey looking after me. Goodness knows I don’t deserve his friendship.”

Jecht couldn’t help snorting in response; Braska met his gaze, and said, “What?”

“Uh, nothing,” said Jecht hastily, fearing that Braska might be about to start crying again. “Just – I thought friendship would mean something a bit more … equal, you know? Weird kind of friendship if one person’s always callin’ the other my lord and all that, right?”

“That’s how summoners are traditionally addressed,” Braska explained. “I initially thought we might make an exception, but Auron does care about the teachings. It did take a little getting used to, but if it makes him more comfortable –” He looked at the ground. “I do worry about him sometimes. He has such a strong sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. Too strong, I sometimes think. He gets these ideas, you see.”

“Yeah?” said Jecht.

Braska hesitated for a second. He wasn’t sure whether it was right to confide in Jecht, but this was one of the rare subjects he was unable to discuss with Auron. If he had been feeling better, he might have been able to give it more thought before deciding, but it always helped to talk about his worries.

“A few months ago, while we were preparing for the pilgrimage,” he said, “Auron suddenly started talking about some plan he had to – I’m not sure exactly. To change or avert the Final Summoning somehow, I think. He was convinced that he would find a way of stopping the pilgrimage taking its usual course – of allowing us to bring the Calm without requiring my death. I was –” He paused. “I was flattered, of course. But the summoner must give his life during the Final Summoning: it’s inevitable. I had made peace with it, and Auron knew that.”

“Sounds like he just didn’t want you to die,” Jecht murmured.

Braska shook his head. “Auron’s a remarkable man,” he went on, “the finest warrior monk of his generation – but it’s no good trying to stop what must happen. When I chose to become a summoner, I had already resolved that my life would need to end. It’s the only way – you see?”

“Uh,” said Jecht, “I mean, I guess.”

“I kept telling him to forget about it, but he insisted on bringing it up,” Braska reminisced. “It was getting – I mean no disrespect to him, of course, but it was getting quite tiring, at times. Eventually, I’m sorry to say, I rather lost my temper with him. I told him that if he didn’t stop continually talking about these fruitless plans, I would have to dismiss him as my guardian.”

“Bet he wasn’t happy about that,” said Jecht.

Braska nodded slowly. “Indeed. The argument we had about it was simply monstrous – we didn’t speak to each other for several days afterwards. But we made our peace, in the end, and he promised he wouldn’t mention the idea to me again.”

He stared into the flame of the campfire for a while. “I hope he’s put it aside,” he mused. “He knows why I’m doing this.” He was silent for a moment, and then suddenly looked back at Jecht. “I don’t suppose he’s ever spoken to you about it? Some misguided plan to deliver me back to Bevelle in one piece?”

Jecht stilled; he remembered the determination with which Auron had told him about his plan, and the frequent references he had made to it in the few days since. He remembered, too, the looks of raw emotion he had noticed on Auron’s face when he thought Jecht wasn’t watching: the way he turned towards the summoner and seemed to lose awareness of everything else around him, as if he was concentrating very intensely on the promise he had sworn to himself. It was almost impossible to watch.

“Nah,” he said.

Relieved, Braska nodded slowly. “That’s good,” he said. “He was wasting his time. I’m glad he understands that I need to do this – it’ll make things easier. They’re hard enough as it is.”

They both lapsed into silence after that, watching the flame as it continued to flicker. Braska felt somewhat calmer; the talk with Jecht had done him good, as he had known it would. Sharing his burden always brought him a little relief.

Not long afterwards, Auron returned from the temple, ruminating over his discoveries: there had been little of substance in the archives, but the priests and nuns had done their best to point him to the most relevant items in their collection, eager to assist the guardian of a summoner who had gained their æon. The most interesting thing he had discovered was the elemental affinities of the æons. Macalania’s, as he already knew, was ice; Djose’s was lightning, which was unsurprising; the next æon they were due to encounter, the one at Kilika Temple, would be fire. The temple at Baaj, an island off the west coast of Spira, had once housed an æon of water, but this had apparently been lost when the settlement fell into ruin a few hundred years ago. It was all interesting enough, and it seemed a good sign that Braska would be recruiting æons that covered most of the elemental spectrum. Auron wondered if combining the powers of all the elements might somehow result in some kind of substitute for the Final Æon in the Final Summoning, but with the loss of the only recorded water æon, this seemed like a fruitless line of enquiry anyway.

Seeing Auron heading towards him, Braska set the ice gem on the ground, rose to his feet with some difficulty, and went over to greet his guardian as he walked the last few paces towards the campfire.

“What’s happening?” said Auron, bewildered by Braska’s sudden approach. “Are you all right?”

Still slightly unsteady on his feet, Braska grasped Auron firmly by the elbow. “I’m feeling better,” he said. “I had a good talk with Jecht; I was telling him how wonderful you are.”

With the fast progress he had made through the ranks of the corps, Auron was used to praise; coming from Braska, though, it felt different.

“That’s very kind,” he managed to say.

Braska tried to smile, but found his face twisting into an expression of regret. “Auron,” he said, “I am sorry. You were right, when you said I should rest – I wouldn’t have had nearly as bad a time in there if I’d listened to you –”

“There’s no need, sir,” said Auron firmly. “It’s in the past now.”

“You must think I’m terribly reckless,” said Braska.

Auron almost smiled at that. “I knew that anyway,” he said. “It’s all right, my lord, really. Let’s go and sit down.”

Braska let Auron lead him back to the campfire, still clutching his elbow and grateful for the warm solidity that Auron provided. They sat on the ground together, and Braska leant into Auron’s side a little while Jecht gathered together the remaining food from the previous night and served it out. Braska managed about half his food and gave the rest to Auron, who was hungry enough not to protest; while he finished it, Braska made his excuses and trudged back to the tent, where he had just about enough energy left to take a quick sphere for Yuna and change back into his nightshirt before going to sleep once more.

Outside, Jecht made a halfhearted attempt at cleaning the bowls from which the three of them had eaten, and then carefully kicked soil over the campfire until it was snuffed out. “What’s the plan for tomorrow, then?” he said into the dim evening light.

“We head further south, if Lord Braska’s feeling up to it,” Auron replied. “It’ll take three or four days to get to the next temple. Are you going to bed already?”

Jecht shrugged. “Well, Braska did, and I figured you would too. Not much else to do, is there?”

“Not a lot happens after dark,” Auron agreed. “I see you’re getting used to Spiran customs.”

“Guess so,” said Jecht, and then he added, “Hey. That mean you really believe I’m from Zanarkand now?”

“I admit,” said Auron carefully, “that you can’t possibly be from Spira. It seems pretty clear now that you’re not joking about it, even if I did think that to begin with.”

“But you still don’t think I’m from Zanarkand,” Jecht prompted him.

Auron sighed. “It’s just … you hear a lot of things about Zanarkand, and none of it ever makes it sound like people actually live there. Anyway, Zanarkand is in Spira – just on the other side of Mount Gagazet. So if you’re from Zanarkand, you are from Spira.”

“Maybe I am, then,” said Jecht with a shrug. “Ain’t got any of this stuff there, though, that’s for sure. Summoners and æons and Yevon and all that.”

“I suppose it could just be cut off by the mountain,” said Auron dubiously.

“I guess it must be,” said Jecht.

Neither of them spoke for a moment, and then Auron said, “I’d appreciate it if you could try not to move around so much this time. You kept kicking me in your sleep last night – my back hurts.”

“Can’t help what I do when I’m sleepin’, Auron,” said Jecht smugly, and they headed into the tent together.

14. Who We Have To Be

Auron woke first; sharing the tent with both his companions had been no less uncomfortable than the night before. Taking advantage of the fact that Jecht was still asleep, he put on his day clothes, then clambered past him and headed outside. He was still envious of Jecht for having had the opportunity to go for a run the previous morning, and was determined to put things right by seizing this chance to do the same himself.

Leaving his robe in the tent, he jogged the short distance to the temple, increased his speed to a sprint as he circled the building, and then, slowing to a jog again, made his way back into the southern part of the town, heading towards the inn. The clerk he had dealt with was standing outside, taking care of an early morning shipment; as the chocobo-drawn cart began to trundle off, he turned and waved hesitantly to Auron. Auron waved back briefly, surprised to see the man acknowledging him; his puzzlement was prolonged as he watched the gesture mutate into something that was undoubtedly an attempt to beckon him closer.

He jogged forward, and said, “Yes?”

“You’re still here, then,” the clerk said.

Auron nodded. “We wouldn’t have made it far if we’d left last night. Besides, Lord Braska wasn’t well enough to travel.”

“Of course,” he replied. “Did the things help?”

“They did,” said Auron.

“Good,” said the clerk, before turning towards the pallet that lay on the ground next to him, piled high with deliveries; he picked up the topmost of the smaller boxes, and thrust it in Auron’s direction. “Here,” he said. “I don’t suppose you have much for breakfast.”

Auron reached out automatically to take the box, but frowned as he did so: the man’s attitude towards him seemed to have changed significantly over the past day or so. “You’re very kind,” he said, opening the box to find a substantial number of fresh pastries inside. “Surprisingly kind. Aren’t you worried about the orders from Bevelle? If someone finds out you stole food from the inn to give to us, they won’t exactly be forgiving.”

“Well, our fayth clearly favours your summoner,” the clerk said. “I wanted to apologise for not realising that.”

“And the medicines you gave us weren’t enough of an apology?” said Auron.

The clerk grimaced, and moved a little closer to him. “Look,” he muttered, “I was talking to my colleague last night. She was saying she’d been in Bevelle recently – she recognised your picture on the notice. She told me why they were after you.”

Auron suddenly felt his jaw clench. “So what?” he said.

“Well, you see,” said the clerk, “I understand – because I’m also –”

“If you are,” Auron interrupted, “then you’ll know it’s best not to talk about it.”

“I’ve tried,” he hissed, “but – you know, it just gets more and more – every time a man comes to stay at the inn, if he’s on his own, I find myself thinking: maybe I should just ask? I know it’s ludicrous, but I’ve gone all my life without a single chance –”

“It’s not worth being indiscreet,” said Auron. “Believe me; I know. You don’t want them to do the same thing to you.”

“But they won’t,” the clerk insisted, “if we … I mean, I don’t need to be indiscreet, now that you’re here. You’re the first one I’ve ever met. We could –”

“No,” said Auron firmly, louder than he intended; the other man flinched, and Auron took a deep breath. “After what happened – not with someone I don’t know. I can’t risk it. I’m here as Lord Braska’s guardian, and I’m not going to compromise that.” He looked down at the box in his hands. “You’d better have this back, if it was an attempt to, um, buy my favour …”

“No,” said the clerk, briefly looking horrified before his face settled into an expression of glum disappointment. “Keep it.” He turned towards the pallet, picked up an armful of boxes from the pile, and trudged into the inn.

The run had done Auron good, but its benefits seemed to have been short-lived; he was tense and uncomfortable again after the unpleasant reminder of his disgrace. Deciding that another lap of the temple might help him calm down, he walked over to the tent and placed the box on the ground outside, and then jogged onward.

Meanwhile, Jecht awoke, pulled on his shorts, and made his way out of the tent, squinting in the morning sunlight. After a few stretches, he opened the box that Auron had left by the tent, briefly considered the potential dangers of eating food that seemed to be of unknown provenance, and then, deciding it was worth the risk, sat down cross-legged on the ground and began to tuck in.

He watched as Auron ran back from the temple, finding it hard not to watch the musculature of his arms while it gradually changed shape in tandem with his movements, and the sweat beginning to bead on his forehead, and his ponytail swinging rhythmically from one side to the other: it really was an appealing sight. Urging himself not to stare seemed to have little effect as he began to imagine what it would be like to place his own hands on those muscled arms and pin Auron against some wall somewhere – press his mouth roughly against Auron’s neck and feel him squirming. He wondered how Auron would react; perhaps, he thought eagerly, he would be vocal, moaning loudly in pleasure as Jecht ministered to him.

Auron came to a stop in front of him. “What are you staring at?” he asked suspiciously.

“Nothin’,” said Jecht. He brandished his pastry. “Where’d these come from?”

“They’re from the man in the inn,” said Auron.

“What,” said Jecht, “the guy that told us to get outta there?”

“He’s had a change of heart,” said Auron gruffly. Seeking to change the subject, he added, “Is Lord Braska awake?”

Jecht shrugged. “Dunno.”

“Right, I’ll check,” said Auron. He looked down at the now significantly depleted box of pastries, and added, “Leave some of those for us.”

He made his way into the tent; once his vision adjusted to the darkness, he could see that Braska’s eyes were open, but he had made no reaction to his guardian’s entrance. “My lord,” he murmured, crouching beside Braska and placing a hand on his shoulder. “How are you feeling this morning?”

It took a long time before Braska found himself able to answer. Physically, he felt a lot better than he had after the encounter with Djose’s fayth: Auron’s assistance and the time he had spent resting had made sure of that. But he had been unable to shake off the guilt he felt about how he had behaved. He should have been kinder to his guardians; he should have made sure to cherish Auron, his dear friend who had helped him through the darkest times of his life; but that same lingering darkness made it hard, at times, to find the energy that would allow him to treat others as they deserved. And that made him feel even more guilty, and dragged him into a horrible, familiar spiral, until the shame and regret about this and about everything were so overwhelming that he felt he could hardly move.

“I’ll be up in a moment,” he mumbled eventually, the words feeling heavy and difficult as they made their slow way out of his mouth.

“You don’t look well,” said Auron. “If we need to stay another night –”

“No,” Braska said. “I have to go on.”

“Jecht and I can go out and hunt fiends,” Auron suggested. “If we spend the day doing that, we might be able to make enough in bounties to afford a night at the inn. Then you’ll be able to get some proper rest – I’m sure that’ll help –”

“No,” said Braska again. “Please – I haven’t the strength to argue with you, but – we have to continue. I need to be strong. Please.”

Auron suppressed a sigh. “All right,” he said. “Take your time; we’ll see you outside.”

He went to sit down outside the tent, reached into the box of pastries to take some food for himself, and began eating as Jecht did a few stretches. “We’re leaving as soon as Lord Braska’s ready,” he informed him, trying not to dwell on the fact that it would undoubtedly be a difficult day.

“Where to next?” said Jecht.

“The Mushroom Rock Road,” said Auron. “We’ll be heading towards a city called Luca, but we won’t get there for a few days.”

“Another temple there?” Jecht guessed.

“Several,” said Auron, “but none with æons we’re interested in. We’ll be taking ferries from there, and heading out to two of the offshore islands. Luca is the southernmost city on the mainland.”

“Oh yeah,” said Jecht, without much enthusiasm.

“I don’t know why you asked if you weren’t interested,” Auron said irritably.

Jecht rolled his eyes and went back to his stretches, taking care as he slowly flexed his right wrist. His blitzball injury was still causing some trouble, although he’d stopped bothering Braska about it days ago: it always felt awkward to have to ask, and he didn’t like seeming vulnerable.

Braska emerged at that point, fully dressed but still looking miserable; he sat down listlessly in response to Auron’s gestured invitation to do so, keeping his arms protectively folded around himself. Jecht looked away: he could tell that it was one of Braska’s worse days, and had no desire to become involved.

“Have some breakfast, sir,” said Auron, handing the final pastry to Braska; Braska took it, but then looked down and eventually muttered, “I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat,” said Auron resolutely.

Shaking his head, Braska nonetheless began to take a few bites with obvious reluctance. Auron watched until he was satisfied that Braska seemed to be eating, and then said, “I’ll put the tent away.”

Jecht looked up sharply at that; it was apparent to him that if Auron was busy with the tent, he would be left sitting with Braska, and he really didn’t want to be in that position if Braska began to talk about his emotions, or worse, started crying again. “I’ll do it,” he suggested, leaping up before Auron had the chance to say anything sceptical.

He dismantled the tent quickly enough, but encountered a stumbling block when he tried to pack it into its bag: getting it inside was a struggle. After a couple of attempts, he threw it on the ground in frustration, and called out to Auron, “Hey. This thing won’t go in.”

“It’s tight,” Auron explained. “Just keep trying. Be patient.”

“Yeah, right,” Jecht muttered. “As if you ever are.” He tried again, and failed quite spectacularly; “Fuck this,” he muttered.

Sighing, Auron stood and joined him. “It should be easy enough with some help,” he said. “You hold the bag open.”

Jecht scowled, but did as requested and was surprised to find that together, they were successful. “Guess it’s one of those things that need two people,” he remarked.

Auron levelled an unimpressed gaze at him. “Well, I’ve always managed it on my own,” he said. “All it takes is perseverance. Don’t just give up the moment things don’t go your way.”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Jecht in annoyance.

Auron ignored him, and sat down again to shave, while Braska did the same next to him; once they had both finished, he smiled politely at the summoner, tried not to be discouraged by the fact that Braska looked much closer to crying than to smiling back, and then said, “Well, sir – let’s go. You can lead the way: set a pace that suits you. We’ll be right behind.”

Braska nodded mournfully and hauled himself to his feet, and they began the journey out of the town.

The need to fight fiends at least gave Braska something to concentrate on now and then: each time they ended up in battle, he found that he needed to dedicate himself to the assault and to healing his guardians’ wounds. Going through the motions mechanically was somewhat better than merely dragging himself onwards, even if the end of each fight marked a sudden return to the depths of his most despairing thoughts. Outside battle, he did his best to forge on, trying not to be hindered by his stinging eyes and the constant, inescapable suspicion that he wasn’t even good enough to sacrifice himself.

Auron watched, and wondered if he should say something, but he knew suggesting they stop and rest would be of no use, even though Braska was sorely in need of it. He had known since before the pilgrimage began that there would be days like this, where Braska would slip into this withdrawn, unresponsive state and all Auron would be able to do was wait it out and hope things improved as the day went on. Normally, Jecht’s improbable tales of Zanarkand succeeded in making Braska smile and sometimes even laugh, but this time, he was unresponsive beyond the occasional minute raise of the eyebrows, and Jecht soon gave up on trying to entertain when he was reaping such poor rewards.

They came to a fork in the road: the right hand path would take them via the more direct but less interesting route, a continuation of the dirt track they had been following since they left Djose. The left led towards a beach that was notorious for being a frequent site of Sin’s attacks. So common were they that the Crusaders had established a semi-permanent camp not far away, with almost as many of their number stationed there as at their principal base in Luca. It would make for a less monotonous journey if Braska and his guardians were to head in that direction, but Auron was by now determined to avoid getting close to any large bodies of water if he could possibly help it, so when Braska turned around and dully asked which way to go, Auron indicated the path on the right hand side.

“Man, he’s so slow,” Jecht muttered as Braska shuffled in the indicated direction.

“Jecht,” Auron hissed.

Jecht raised an eyebrow at him. “Relax, he ain’t gonna hear us over there,” he said, and he was right: the two of them were far enough behind Braska for him not to have a chance of hearing their conversation unless he turned to face them.

“He’s slower than usual, right?” he added. “You gotta admit it.”

“It’s a bad day,” said Auron. “Be grateful he can walk at all.”

Jecht groaned. “Wish he’d just get over it.”

Auron shook his head, but made no reply; as irritating as Jecht’s persistent belief that Braska could somehow shake off his low moods was, he couldn’t help privately agreeing. The wish that Jecht had expressed was, after all, the same one that Auron had himself held for three years, on a larger scale.

As they got closer to the Crusader base, the path grew busier: people dressed in the various types of Crusader uniform were starting to become a regular feature of the route, always seeming to be in much more of a hurry than Braska and his guardians. Auron suspected that their haste was exaggerated: in his experience of Crusaders, they often took great pains to make themselves seem more important than they really were. Many of these passersby were on foot, although some rode chocobos; it was Jecht’s first proper experience with the birds, and he stared at them in disbelief, finding the sight even more bizarre than he had expected.

Further along the path, they were intercepted by a helmeted Crusader who appeared to be standing guard. “On your way somewhere?” she said to Braska, who was the first to reach her.

He raised his eyes to meet hers, blinked, and then slowly replied, “We’re on pilgrimage. I’m a summoner.”

“Prove it,” she said.

“How’s he supposed to do that?” said Auron, hurrying forward to catch up. “And more importantly, why? This is a public right of way – we don’t need to ask permission to use this road.”

“We do want to be sure everyone travelling this way is safe,” the Crusader replied.

“And you think we’re a threat?” Auron snarled.

“Well,” she said, in a tone that was almost as insistent as his, “you and your associate do seem to be carrying weapons.”

Auron resisted the urge to groan in disbelief. “Because we’re guardians,” he said. “We’re on pilgrimage; can’t you tell my lord summoner is – isn’t it obvious, when he’s dressed like this? Why else would he be carrying a staff?”

“You can never be too careful,” said the Crusader. “They say people dress as summoners and pretend to take the pilgrimage, just so they can trick others into showing them charity.”

“Nonsense,” said Auron. “I’ve never heard anything like it.”

She folded her arms, and said, “If your supposed lord summoner isn’t able to demonstrate to me that he really is one, then I’m afraid I can’t let you pass.”

At that, Braska nodded wearily. “Right,” he muttered.

“Sir,” Auron hissed, “this is ridiculous. They can’t force you – especially not when you’re in a bad way.”

“It’ll only take a moment,” Braska murmured back.

“But it’s the principle,” Auron protested.

“Please don’t argue with me, Auron,” said Braska, very softly, and Auron immediately nodded and stood aside, grabbing Jecht by the arm and pulling him along with him.

“Ow, get off of me,” Jecht complained. “What’s goin’ on?”

“This Crusader,” said Auron through gritted teeth, “wants Lord Braska to call one of his æons so he can prove to her that he’s a summoner. It’s absolutely shameful.”

“But why?” said Jecht.

“I’ve no idea,” Auron replied. “Typical Crusaders trying to make things difficult for everyone, that’s what it is.”

They watched as Braska carefully waved his staff, his face displaying nothing but grim resignation; moments later, a large winged creature took shape in the sky, first spiralling upwards and then plummeting sharply to earth, landing so heavily on its large clawed feet that the ground shook and Braska almost lost his footing.

“Is that an æon?” Jecht said. “What happened to the ice lady? Wouldn’t mind seein’ her again.”

“That’s Bahamut,” Auron confirmed, ignoring the last remark. “The first æon Braska took, back in Bevelle.” As he cast his eyes over it, he couldn’t help taking note of the fact that Bevelle was the last place he had seen this æon summoned, too. In fact, he realised, Braska hadn’t used the æons in battle once over the course of the pilgrimage so far.

“Will that do?” Braska demanded, still holding his staff aloft as Bahamut stood beside him.

The Crusader frowned, but nodded. “I suppose so. You’re a summoner; can’t argue with that.”

Braska dismissed the æon with a further wave of his staff, and resumed his slow progress without another word; Auron followed behind, but when he reached the Crusader, he said, “Aren’t you going to apologise?”

“For doing my job?” she countered.

“For accusing my lord summoner of being some kind of fraud,” he said.

“I can’t go against orders,” she insisted. “I was asked to keep a record of the summoners who pass this way. And we have to be careful about who we allow near the base – one of our men was involved in a scandal recently. We don’t want a repeat of that.”

Auron glowered at her, but said no more, and he and Jecht followed Braska onwards.

As soon as they had left the Crusader out of sight, Braska turned around, waited until his guardians had come close enough to be within earshot, and said, “I need to rest.”

“Of course, sir,” said Auron immediately. “Can I get you anything?”

Braska shook his head.

Auron insisted on spreading his robe on the ground for Braska to sit on nonetheless, and once the mechanics of it were negotiated, he retreated to the other side of the path and sat down himself, next to Jecht, who had already positioned himself against the rock wall that ran by the side of the track.

“You guys can have women in the army, then?” Jecht remarked.

“The Crusaders aren’t an army,” said Auron dismissively. “But yes, they do have women in their ranks. So do the warrior monks, although the temples are a bit more reluctant to let them take powerful positions.”

“Right,” said Jecht.

“I know you just see women as sex objects,” Auron added, “but it may surprise you to learn that they’re capable of more than that.”

Jecht was so surprised by the remark that he laughed uproariously for several seconds. “Hey, what?” he said when he had finished. “I never said that. Just know how to appreciate a nice girl when I see one.” He clasped both hands to the back of his head and stretched. “Ain’t no harm in looking. Anyway, I’d say the same about a guy if he was hot.”

Auron turned towards him, suddenly alert. “What?” he said.

“Yeah, I’m into guys,” said Jecht with a shrug. “Life’s too short to discriminate, right? Might’ve even slept with more guys than girls, if I count ’em.”

“Slept with …” Auron echoed.

“Aw man, Auron,” said Jecht, “you’re so pure. I know you were a monk and all, but – you really don’t know what that means?”

“I know what it means,” Auron muttered, now looking quite deliberately in the other direction.

“Then why’re you actin’ so weird, huh?” said Jecht, lightly punching him on the shoulder and unusually receiving no reaction, not even a shove in return. “Wait a minute,” he added, suddenly becoming suspicious, “you ain’t one of those people that have a problem with it, are ya? It’s totally natural, you know.” Braska, he thought, was always talking about how tolerant Auron was; he would be disappointed if he really was a homophobe. In Zanarkand, indeed, such people were thin on the ground; most of the population were perfectly happy for others to make their own decisions about who they involved themselves with.

“No,” said Auron quietly. “I don’t have a problem with it.”

His mind was racing. Jecht was the first person he had ever heard speak about attraction to the same gender in such a casual way – as if it was completely normal. As if, he thought, nearly everyone partook in such activities. But things weren’t like that in Spira. It was something that had to be discussed quietly and euphemistically, always taking care to make sure nobody overheard.

He looked back at Jecht with some reluctance. Jecht wasn’t a person he had ever considered confiding in: he still didn’t trust his fellow guardian enough to believe he would be capable of keeping secrets. But the need to keep such things hidden sometimes felt like such a burden; and the knowledge that he might be able to talk to someone about it was so gloriously tempting. It was something he had discussed with Braska not long before the pilgrimage had started, but Braska clearly hadn’t really understood; if Jecht actually experienced the same desires, though, things would be different. He would know what it was like.

“Actually, I’m,” he said, “I’m inclined that way myself.”

Jecht frowned. “You’re into guys?” he said, wondering if he had misunderstood.

“Yes,” said Auron, running a finger across the dusty ground. “Just … guys.” He looked up at Jecht. “I’m, er, not interested in women at all.”

“No way!” Jecht exclaimed. “You’re gay?”

Auron looked blankly back at him.

“As in,” Jecht clarified, “you’re just into guys? I mean, I guess you are, you already said that! Whoa.” He looked into the distance, and his gaze came to rest on Braska, who was facing the other way, looking out over the steep incline that led down towards the shore. “Whoa,” he said again, less animatedly.

Auron frowned. “I thought you said you didn’t mind,” he said.

“I don’t,” Jecht replied with enthusiasm, “I just didn’t expect – well, maybe I should’ve – I dunno! It’s just takin’ me a moment to process, all right?” He shook his head in amazement. “Why didn’t you say before? I was ribbin’ you about girls, back in the woods; could’ve mentioned it then.”

“It’s not the kind of thing people talk about openly,” Auron explained. “And at that point I didn’t realise you were the same – well, not the same, but – now that I know you’re fine with it, it’s different.” His mouth felt strangely dry. “You are – aren’t you? Fine with it?”

“Well, yeah,” said Jecht. “People keep it to themselves here, huh? Yeah, in Zanarkand, everyone’s pretty open.”

“That must be nice,” Auron murmured.

“So does Braska know?” said Jecht eagerly.

“Yeah,” said Auron. “I told him – not that long ago, actually. A few weeks.”

“Yeah?” Jecht echoed. “Why?”

“It came up,” said Auron evasively. “Look, I realise you’re used to things being different, but – it’s quite a private thing in Spira. Now that I’ve told you, I hope you’ll do me the courtesy of being discreet.”

“Sure,” said Jecht; he could tell how serious Auron was about this, even if he personally considered it something of an overreaction. “Can’t make any promises about what I’ll say when it’s just us guys, but yeah, I get it. When we’re in public –” He mimed a zipping gesture over his lips.

“Thanks,” said Auron. He looked in Braska’s direction, and decided it was time to go and check on him, so he slowly stood and made his way to the other side of the path.

“How are you doing, sir?” he asked, sitting down on Braska’s right side.

“Not well,” said Braska. He closed his eyes, sighed, opened them again, and then added, “I’m sorry, Auron. You must think I’m pathetic.”

“You know I don’t,” said Auron.

Braska said nothing in response; speaking still felt very difficult. But the presence of his guardian by his side was a comfort, at least, and he reached out to clasp Auron’s hand, threading his fingers through Auron’s until their warm palms were pressed together. Auron let Braska move his hand into the space between them, and sat still as the summoner closed his eyes again and ran his thumb rhythmically across Auron’s skin, breathing in and out deeply in time with its motion.

After a few repetitions, Braska opened his eyes, let go of Auron’s hand, and murmured, “Well, we struggle on, I suppose.” He turned towards Auron, and smiled; it was a small, sad smile, but unmistakably a smile nonetheless, and Auron couldn’t help returning a larger one of his own – the sight of Braska looking just a little bit happier was enough to make him privately euphoric.

“Hope, sir,” he said softly.

Braska gave a slow nod. “Hope,” he echoed. “Thank you, Auron; there’s no greater help than having you by my side.”

“Whenever you need me,” said Auron, “I’m here.”

Braska insisted that he was ready to move on after that, and so the two of them stood and retrieved Jecht, and continued southward. Braska went in front again – still slowly, but less so than before – and his guardians fell into step a few yards behind him.

“You know,” Jecht remarked to Auron, “I kinda thought that out of you guys, he’d be the gay one.”

“He was married,” Auron reminded him.

“Yeah, I guess,” said Jecht. “It’s just – the way he gets, you know, all emotional, and all that touchy stuff –” He laid a hand briefly on Auron’s arm with exaggerated precision to demonstrate.

“Well, he’s not doing it to get off,” said Auron.

Jecht snorted at the uncharacteristically crude expression – Auron had said it with an entirely straight face, which, on the other hand, was typical – and then said, “I didn’t say he was. It’s just, gay guys are usually more like that, right? Or maybe that’s not a thing here?”

“I don’t think there are any expectations about how we should act,” said Auron, shrugging. “But like I said, people keep it private.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes a difference,” said Jecht. “Less of a … culture around it, huh? Gay guys in Zanarkand are kinda feminine – well, not all of ’em. Would’ve thought there was some connection, though.”

“I don’t see why there should be,” said Auron. “It’s two completely different things.”

Jecht still wasn’t convinced, but he let the matter slide – it was clear that his and Auron’s cultures framed this kind of thing differently, and that neither of them was about to understand the other’s point of view. Instead, he spent the rest of the afternoon grappling with Auron’s revelation: in some ways, he was still amazed by the news, while in others, he was merely disappointed in himself for not having worked it out previously. He was a perceptive person, after all, especially now that he had given up the drink. Maybe, he thought as he observed Auron in battle, the fact that he wore his hair long should have been a clue; but he knew that if he were to mention it out loud, Auron would deny that there was any correlation.

The path remained busy as they continued southward, heading past the numerous tracks and gaps in the rock wall that led to the Crusader base. By this point, it had begun to get busy again; while the greater density of passersby resulted in far fewer fiends, it also meant that the three travellers found themselves increasingly inconvenienced by Crusaders jostling against them as they walked – sometimes, it seemed, deliberately.

“What’s up with these guys?” Jecht grumbled, rubbing his shoulder where a passing infantryman had prodded the barrel of his gun against it.

“They’re territorial,” said Auron. “Be glad you’re not wearing a warrior monk’s uniform.”

“Oh yeah, you guys are like, rivals, right?” said Jecht. “They not religious enough for you or somethin’?”

“They do have a looser interpretation of the teachings,” Auron confirmed. “Although the monks are going that way as well now – most of my comrades carried guns by the time I left.”

“You don’t like that?” Jecht surmised.

Auron shrugged. “If they want to, I won’t stop them. But it’s not for me.”

Shortly after that, one of the passing Crusaders walked straight into Jecht, and that was the final straw: he shoved his hand against the man’s chest to retaliate, and exclaimed, “Hey! What the hell are you doing? How about lookin’ where you’re goin’ for a second, huh?”

The Crusader pushed back against Jecht, equally angry. “This is Crusader land,” he snarled in reply. “If you insist on using our service road to go for a stroll, you should know when to get out of our way.”

A small crowd was beginning to form; Auron had planned to stay out of the dispute, but couldn’t help getting involved after hearing what the man had said. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he interrupted. “This is the main road from Djose to Luca. It’s part of the standard pilgrimage route.”

“Yeah!” said Jecht enthusiastically. “We ain’t going for a stroll, we’re trying to save Spira here! Got it?”

“Where’s your summoner, then?” the Crusader asked.

Reluctantly, Auron pointed out Braska, who had come to a stop on the other side of the crowd and was looking back at his guardians as he waited for them to extract themselves from the obstruction. Several pairs of eyes turned towards Braska, and he lowered his own in response; Auron hoped the sudden attention wasn’t making him too uncomfortable.

“Whatever,” said the Crusader, who seemed more willing to believe Braska was a summoner based on his appearance than his comrade had earlier. “But you” – he jabbed a finger against Jecht’s bare chest – “still need to show us some respect.”

Jecht swatted his hand away. “Yeah?” he growled. “I need to show you respect, is that right? Do you know who you’re talkin’ to?”

“Jecht,” Auron began, realising where things were about to lead, but Jecht paid him no attention. Leaning in close to the Crusader’s face, he said, “I’m the biggest celebrity in Zanarkand, you know! Star player of the Zanarkand Abes!”

There were a few titters from the gathered Crusaders at that, and the man speaking to Jecht stepped back theatrically. “The Zanarkand Abes?” he repeated. “Zanarkand? You mean the city that’s been in ruins for a thousand years?”

It was the first time Jecht had heard any such claim; he frowned momentarily, and then became aware of the need not to lose face. “That’s where you’re wrong, buddy,” he spat, and gave the Crusader a final shove before he hurried off to join Braska, ignoring the laughter from the crowd.

Auron followed, suddenly tense: he could tell Jecht was shocked by what he had heard about Zanarkand. He had done his best to stand his ground against the Crusaders, but ending the argument by walking off as abruptly as that was tantamount to a humiliating defeat in Jecht’s book, and Auron was well aware of it. He cast his mind back over their travels as he walked, trying to remember whether he or Braska had ever told Jecht that Zanarkand was commonly believed to be ruined and deserted; he was sure they must have spoken of it at some point, but the more he considered, the clearer it seemed that there had never been a specific moment where they had mentioned it to him.

“Get a load of that guy,” said Jecht, once Auron caught up with him and Braska. “What’s up with him?”

Auron looked at him critically: he could tell Jecht’s bravado was at least half feigned. “We’ll talk about it in a moment,” he said. “Let’s find somewhere quieter. Away from all these people,” he added, nodding towards the Crusaders.

Jecht almost argued, but then he returned what was meant to be a dismissive shake of the head and began to walk on; Auron and Braska followed behind in silence.

They turned a corner, and reached a part of the road that was much calmer: only one small figure stood in the distance, looking down towards the shore, too far away for the three of them to discern any details. “This’ll do,” said Auron.

“Right,” said Jecht keenly. “So, anyway, that crap the guy was talkin’ about Zanarkand – where’d that come from, huh? In ruins for a thousand years? Yeah, right!” He frowned, and then said, “You don’t actually believe it, do you?”

“Well,” said Auron apologetically, “that is what people say. I mean, it’s just a rumour. Nobody goes to Zanarkand except summoners who make it to the end of their pilgrimage – but the general belief is that it’s been deserted all that time, yes. I suppose it’s probably not the whole truth.”

“Probably?” Jecht echoed. “I mean, yeah, I come from there! Wasn’t fuckin’ ruined last time I looked, I can tell ya.” He turned towards Braska, and said, sounding a little more accusatory than he intended, “What about you, huh? You can’t believe that guy?”

Braska shrugged slowly. “You’re the first person I’ve met from Zanarkand, Jecht,” he said, not meeting Jecht’s eyes.

Jecht stared at him in disbelief for a moment, and then said, “What? Seriously? So you think I’m lyin’ now? I thought you were the one that believed me!”

Braska looked at the ground, wincing at the sound of Jecht’s raised voice; Auron stepped in front of him, and said to Jecht in a warning tone, “Don’t bother him about it.”

“This is my home we’re talkin’ about, Auron,” Jecht hissed back, folding his arms.

Auron nodded. “I know. But you’ve got to admit there’s something odd about this. We’ve always been told Zanarkand fell a thousand years ago – I’d never met anyone who claimed to have even seen it, until we heard about you. It is … a bit strange.”

“I don’t fuckin’ believe this,” Jecht muttered, turning away from Auron in frustration; at that point, he noticed that the person who had been standing at the other side of the path and was now ambling in their vague direction was Maechen, the elderly man that he and Auron had encountered at the travel agency on the Thunder Plains. “Hey!” he called. “Hey, old guy!”

Maechen raised a hand in a little wave, and continued his slow walk over to where they stood. “A pleasure, indeed, to see you again,” he said when he arrived, nodding at Jecht and Auron in turn, and casting his eyes over Braska in evident confusion.

“Yeah, yeah,” said Jecht. “Listen, you know about history and stuff, right? You gotta tell me about Zanarkand. These guys are sayin’ it’s been ruined for a thousand years, but – there’s no way. That’s just impossible.”

“Ah, yes, the holy city,” said Maechen. “The seat of the Final Æon. Indeed, only summoners nearing the end of their journey have the honour of visiting a place so sacred.”

“But people gotta live there, right,” Jecht prompted him.

Maechen blinked up at him. “Certainly not to my knowledge,” he admitted. “The city was destroyed, you see, in the machina war. After years of cruel, vicious combat, Bevelle was victorious, and the people of Zanarkand gave their lives in vain, falling one by one against the superior might of Bevelle’s forces. A terrible, brutal occasion – so they say.”

“What?” said Jecht, confused. “There was a war? Between Zanarkand and Bevelle?”

Auron nodded. “A thousand years ago,” he said sombrely.

Jecht looked at him sharply, and then turned his gaze back to Maechen. “But it can’t be deserted,” he said, his voice taking on a steely edge. “There must be people that come from Zanarkand turnin’ up in other places sometimes.”

“Never in all my long years have I heard of it,” Maechen declared.

“But –” Jecht looked out over the cliff edge, lost for words. “It can’t just be me!” he declared. “I can’t be the only one!”

He looked back at his companions, his eyes blazing with fury, and Auron turned to Maechen and said, “I think you should leave us, sir.”

“Perhaps you would like to hear a little more about the terrible machina war?” Maechen suggested, not moving.

“I know about the machina war,” said Auron brusquely. “I really think it would be best if you leave.”

“Pity,” said Maechen, but instead of walking away, he approached Braska, who was staring morosely at the ground, and said, “Is something the matter?”

Slowly, Braska raised his head, and muttered, “What?”

“I assume you are accompanying these two fine young men,” Maechen elaborated, “but you seem reluctant to involve yourself in their highly interesting conversation. If you were to pay attention to their talk of the history of Spira, you would find it most edifying –”

“That’s enough,” said Auron loudly. “Leave him alone.”

Maechen looked at him, puzzled; then, with a muttered “Very well,” he turned and slowly walked off.

Auron glanced back at Braska, who had returned his gaze to the ground; then he turned his attention once again towards Jecht, who met Auron’s eyes, frowned, and then said, “So it’s true.”

“It’s a rumour,” Auron clarified. “A widespread rumour.”

Jecht shook his head. “A thousand years?” he said despondently. “A thousand? I just –” He gestured vaguely in amazement. “Why didn’t you guys say something, huh? We been travellin’ together nearly two weeks, and you didn’t think it was a good idea to tell me –”

“I thought we had told you,” Auron admitted, “but maybe not.”

Jecht let out a barking laugh. “Yeah,” he said, “I’m pretty fuckin’ sure you didn’t tell me! Cos I think, if you did, you might’ve remembered my reaction!” He shook his head in disbelief. “Auron – this is the city I grew up in – I spent my whole life there – and now I find out it’s, I dunno, not real or somethin’? What – how am I supposed to –”

He looked away again, and then back at Auron. “But I bet you’re glad,” he went on, “cos it means you were right all along, don’t it? Guess I was crazy after all, huh? And you get to say I told you so – bet you love that, don’t ya?”

“No,” said Auron, mildly offended. “I don’t care about that – of course not, Jecht! You obviously come from – from somewhere, so –”

“Yeah, thanks a lot,” Jecht cut in. “Real helpful, that is. Gee, Auron, I – you know what, I can’t take this. Forget it.” He stomped off towards one of the narrow paths that cut into the cliff face, forming one of a series of parallel tracks that led down to the beach.

“Jecht,” Auron protested, but he was already gone.

“Oh dear,” Braska murmured, moving beside Auron and joining him in staring in the direction in which Jecht had departed. “Poor thing. I should have said something; I just couldn’t –” He gestured towards himself and then folded his arms tightly over the lower part of his breastplate.

“I’ll go after him,” said Auron; he wasn’t happy about having to leave Braska on his own, but, he realised, worrying about Jecht wandering off would hardly be good for Braska’s mental state either. “Stay here,” he added. “We’ll be back soon.”

He followed the path that Jecht had taken, manœuvring himself through the cliffside vegetation with some difficulty: in some places, the path was too narrow for him to tread properly in his boots, and he began to wonder whether taking them off and going barefoot like Jecht would be more productive, before deciding that method would be unnecessarily painful. After a few minutes of walking, there was still no sign of Jecht, and Auron was beginning to hope he wouldn’t have to go all the way down to the beach to speak to him.

Soon afterwards, though, he caught sight of Jecht’s head above the bushes, and more of him gradually revealed itself as he got closer; but then, when Jecht noticed Auron was approaching him, he quickly turned around and continued down the path.

“Jecht!” Auron called. “Come on – you’re being childish.”

At that, Jecht stopped and turned around, looking incredulous. “Childish?” he echoed. “Seriously, Auron? I find out my city was – everyone thinks my city was destroyed a thousand years ago, and you expect me to just brush it off and say everything’s fine?”

“Let’s just talk about it,” Auron suggested. Jecht glowered, but, Auron realised with satisfaction, he didn’t make any attempt to head further down the path, so Auron carefully drew closer to him, feeling as if he was attempting to trap a wild animal.

“I was thinkin’,” said Jecht, not looking at Auron, “you know how you guys have magic here, right – well, what if it really is true, and maybe I – I dunno, travelled in time, I guess? Do people do that?”

Auron shook his head. “There’s no such thing as time travel,” he said firmly. “Teleportation in space, sometimes – with very specialist equipment – but not in time. That’s impossible.”

“You promise?” said Jecht fiercely.

“Yes,” Auron replied. “I’m certain of it.”

“But then,” said Jecht, “how does any of this make sense?”

“These things usually have a simple explanation,” said Auron. “The Zanarkand you’ve been telling us about is so different from the one we’ve heard of; maybe they’re …” He considered. “Perhaps they’re just not the same place. We might be talking about two completely different cities, and it’s just a coincidence that they’re called the same thing.”

“Some coincidence,” Jecht muttered.

“Well, maybe there’s a connection between them,” Auron suggested. “People from our Zanarkand went away and founded yours, or something like that. Maybe when we get there – to ours, I mean – it’ll be obvious. Or maybe we’re all wrong, and it really is your Zanarkand. The priests could be lying; it’s happened before.” They hadn’t lied about anything as big as this, to his knowledge, but it wasn’t impossible.

“You think so, huh?” said Jecht.

“Who knows,” said Auron. “Nobody ever goes there, like I said: we don’t know what it’s really like. But either way, your Zanarkand is out there somewhere.”

Jecht frowned again. “Yeah, I guess,” he mumbled.

“Jecht,” said Auron, and he traversed the last few feet of the path that kept him apart from Jecht, until he was standing right in front of him. He looked carefully at Jecht, and then slowly reached out and laid both his hands on his fellow guardian’s shoulders.

“We should have mentioned this to you before,” he said. “You know I didn’t believe you at first, and Braska was … preoccupied. But we should have told you what we knew – thought we knew – about Zanarkand. That was an oversight. I’m sorry.”

Jecht blinked back at him dumbly: the sight of Auron apologising to him this sincerely was one he found utterly bizarre. The look in his eyes, dark and serious, was more like the sort of looks he tended to reserve for Braska; it had an intensity that made Jecht uncomfortable. He stepped back, shaking Auron’s hands off himself, and said, “Yeah. Thanks.”

“Will you be all right?” said Auron.

Jecht scoffed. “I’m fine,” he said automatically, but then added, “I just wanna be on my own for a bit, OK? I wanna think this over.”

Auron nodded. “Take your time. We’ll see you back up there.”

He made his way back up to the path, struggling just as much against the vegetation as he had on the descent, and came face to face with Braska, who was dabbing at his face with his handkerchief. “How is he?” he demanded.

“He’s OK,” said Auron. “We had a bit of a talk; he wanted some time to process it. I apologised for not telling him about it before – I thought that was important.”

“Yes,” Braska agreed. “Oh, poor Jecht. I feel terrible – we really should have said something. What if he thinks we dragged him along with us on this pilgrimage under false pretences? Perhaps we should have explained right at the start –”

“He’d have been too drunk at that point to understand anyway,” Auron pointed out, refraining from noting out loud that Braska had been entirely alone in making the decision to bring Jecht with them. “It was better than the alternative; he was probably glad to get out of that jail. If we hadn’t taken him with us, they’d probably have sent him to the – well, you know.”

Braska nodded. “I should speak to him,” he said miserably. “If I wasn’t feeling so awful –”

“It can’t be helped,” said Auron. “You need to look after yourself, sir.”

Braska nodded morosely, and took hold of Auron’s arm to comfort himself while they waited for Jecht to reappear.

He emerged some time later, dripping wet; Auron recoiled, and said, “Did you go for a swim?”

“You got it, genius,” said Jecht, with only a little less conviction than usual. “Nothin’ better for clearing your head.”

“Are you all right, Jecht?” said Braska. “Do you want to talk?”

“Nah, I’m good,” said Jecht.

“But you shouldn’t keep it hidden away,” Braska protested. “It really does help to talk when you’re feeling low – I have a lot of experience, unfortunately, and –”

“Yeah,” said Jecht, cutting Braska off before he could start talking at length about his own problems. “I get it. I just – not right now, OK? Maybe tomorrow, or something. I just wanna think about it on my own for a bit.”

Braska frowned, but at last said, “All right.”

They continued along the path, now all walking together, although there was little conversation among the three of them beyond what was necessitated by the occasional battles with fiends they found themselves drawn into. Nobody’s heart was really in the fighting, and Braska was starting to get tired again, even though the immediacy of Jecht’s troubles had been a fairly effective distraction from his own; after a few rounds of battle, he said, “I’m sorry – I hope you don’t mind if we stop. I’m exhausted.”

“That’s no problem at all, sir,” Auron reassured him. “We’re nearly at the Mi’ihen Highroad, so this is a good place to rest. I’ll see if I can find something for dinner.”

He headed off, leaving Jecht and Braska to sit together in silence, and was back soon enough with the bodies of a few small animals that he had managed to surprise; they were swiftly cooked over the campfire that Braska had lit with the last of his magical strength while Auron assembled the tent. The three of them ate in silence – Braska managed to get through most of his portion without protesting – and then, while Braska took as brief a sphere as he could to send to Yuna, Auron made his way over to where Jecht sat.

“I took first watch last time,” he said, somewhat apologetically, “but if you don’t feel up to it –”

“I feel fine, Auron,” said Jecht gruffly. “It’s no problem. I’ll come wake you up in a few hours.”

“I just thought you might want some sleep first,” Auron suggested. “You’re probably tired.”

Jecht shrugged. “I’m fine,” he reiterated.

At that, Auron gave up; he followed Braska into the tent, where the summoner had already begun to get ready for bed. “What an awful day,” Braska remarked as he crawled into his bedroll.

“You’re feeling a bit better, though, aren’t you?” said Auron. “Than earlier, I mean.”

“I suppose so,” said Braska. He sighed. “Yes, you’re right. I’m just worried about Jecht.”

“He’s resilient,” Auron pointed out.

Braska hummed in agreement. “He’s certainly coping better than I would be, the poor thing. Maybe he’ll want to talk about it tomorrow.”

“Maybe,” said Auron doubtfully. “You should get some sleep, my lord.”

“I should,” Braska agreed. “Goodnight, Auron – thank you for taking care of me.”

“It’s a pleasure, sir,” said Auron, watching as Braska gradually drifted into sleep.

15. Family Ties

Braska woke up as the light filtered in through the canvas; he turned slowly to the side and recognised Jecht lying next to him, awake but immobile, his face turned upwards.

“Jecht?” he said.

Jecht turned towards him. “Oh, hey. Mornin’.”

“Are you all right?” said Braska.

“Huh?” said Jecht, and then he remembered Braska’s sudden interest in his emotional state the previous afternoon. “Oh yeah,” he said, “I’m fine.”

“You said you might be willing to talk later,” Braska prompted him. “Perhaps now, if you like, while it’s just the two of us? Now that you’ve had some time to think about it?” He reached out to lay an encouraging hand on Jecht’s arm.

Jecht just about succeeded in not physically recoiling. “I’m good, I promise,” he said. “No need for some kind of big discussion. It ain’t that important.”

“Oh, it is,” said Braska fervently. “I don’t want you to feel as if I’m not paying attention to your wellbeing, Jecht. Did you at least think it over while you were keeping watch?”

Jecht contorted himself minutely so as to let Braska’s hand fall away from his arm before answering. “Yeah,” he admitted. “Actually, I was thinkin’ about something Auron said. He thinks there might be two cities called Zanarkand – like, maybe the one you guys know and the one I’m from are totally different places, but there could still be a link between ’em.”

“Is that so,” Braska murmured.

“I think,” said Jecht slowly, “I can kinda believe it. I mean, it don’t sound like your Zanarkand is anythin’ like mine. But then it’d be weird to have two cities with the same name if there was nothin’ connecting them at all. So maybe he’s right. Not that I don’t still want it to be my city, like, obviously that’d be the –”

He cut himself off abruptly; this was getting dangerously close to being a conversation about his emotions after all, and that certainly wasn’t the way he had wanted to start his morning.

“That’s a very interesting theory,” said Braska. “I’m glad to hear Auron helped you. You must have felt ever so shaken. And if you’d like to discuss it any more – I know Auron isn’t always the most sympathetic person, but I’d be very happy to lend an ear.”

Trying to disguise a snort in reaction to the idea that Braska had ever been very happy to do anything at all, Jecht fidgeted in his bedroll. “Honestly,” he insisted, “it’s no problem. I’m fine.”

“All right, then,” said Braska, failing to hide his disappointment. Like many mages, he felt a natural inclination towards helping others, even if recent events had made that harder; on occasions where he could muster the fortitude to aid someone in more acute distress than himself, doing so was a sure way to make him feel less troubled for a while. Auron’s recent ordeal had, somewhat perversely, provided Braska with a much-needed confidence boost in the weeks before the pilgrimage: the knowledge that he was the one ensuring Auron was of sound body and mind had been enough to convince Braska that his own life had some kind of purpose, if only for a short time. The hope that he might do the Spiran people an invaluable service by bringing the Calm had been equally encouraging as he prepared for the journey: it certainly hadn’t been his only reason for becoming a summoner, but it was one of many things that assured him he was on the right path.

He put on his day clothes, removing the bandages that Auron had wound around his knees in Djose; the pain from his encounter with the fayth was completely gone now. After donning his headdress, he made his way around where Jecht still lay and went outside, approaching Auron where he sat.

Surprised to see Braska out of bed before Jecht, Auron blinked up at him. “Are you OK, sir?” he asked. “It’s still early – I hope you weren’t having trouble sleeping.”

“No, no, not at all,” Braska reassured him, gripping Auron’s shoulder to anchor himself as he sat on the ground next to him. “I feel quite awake. I was trying to ask Jecht if he wanted to talk about Zanarkand, but he didn’t seem very keen. I do wish he’d let me help him.”

“Well, you know he likes to keep that sort of thing to himself,” said Auron. “I wouldn’t worry about it. I’m sure he’ll be telling all his ridiculous stories about it again soon enough.”

Braska responded with a brief hum of disapproval, but then he recalled what Jecht had said to him about Auron’s suggestion, and added, “You have a theory about it, he said.”

“Hm?” said Auron. “Oh – not really. It was just the most logical thing I could think of on the spot.” He shrugged. “They could still be the same city, but it seems more likely that it’s just two places with some kind of connection between them. That would explain why they have the same name but sound so different from each other.”

“It would,” Braska murmured. “That seems to have comforted Jecht, anyway. Thank you for being kind to him.”

Auron turned away so Braska wouldn’t see him frowning; the idea that he had been kind to Jecht was somehow disconcerting. It wasn’t the sort of adjective that sprung to mind when he attempted to describe himself: he was capable of being civil and polite when necessary, but that was simply because he had manners.

And for some reason, he realised, the idea that he had been kind to Jecht specifically was especially uncomfortable. It wasn’t the case that he really disliked him, he thought, not anymore; but still, the suggestion that he might sympathise with Jecht and put effort into helping him made him want to squirm.

“I’ll get us some breakfast,” he grunted, to change the subject.

After all three had eaten and prepared themselves for the day ahead, they began the next portion of the journey: it was a more pleasant section of the route, improved by the relative absence of Crusaders in comparison with the day before, but also by the general surroundings and climate. Instead of a barren, rocky path, bordered on at least one side at all times by a high rock face that blocked out a lot of the natural light, they were making their way along a wide grassy track bordered by pretty wildflowers while the sun shone down brilliantly from a mostly blue sky. It was the result of another of those sudden climatic changes that were unremarkable in Spira, and Braska and Auron, at least, were unmoved by it. Most importantly, Braska’s mood had improved significantly overnight, motivated by the potential need to assuage Jecht’s more acute and unusual distress. He walked at a more normal pace, took part in his guardians’ brief conversations, and even smiled and chuckled from time to time, and that had a more positive effect on the group than any amount of sunshine.

After a while, Jecht noticed that even their battles with fiends were going better now that they were on the Mi’ihen Highroad. Most of the creatures went down with just a couple of hits and minimal injury to the three travellers. After the third battle in quick succession where they had barely suffered a scratch, his curiosity got the better of him.

“Am I imagining things,” he said, “or are the fiends kinda weak here?”

Braska smiled at him indulgently. “I daresay you’ve just been getting better at fighting,” he suggested. “You’re quite the expert with that sword now.”

“No, that’s not why,” said Auron, interrupting before Jecht had the chance to start feeling too good about himself. “The further south we go, the less powerful the fiends get. It’s because the concentration of pyreflies is lower. I’m surprised you didn’t know that, sir.”

“Well, Auron, you’re the combat specialist,” Braska reminded him. Having benefited from Bevelle’s finest education, his general knowledge was superior to Auron’s, but Auron was indisputably the authority on two subjects, fiends and geography – his experience as a warrior monk, travelling around Spira to assist in various emergencies, had ensured that.

Auron had thought the decreasing strength of the fiends was common knowledge, but then, he supposed, most people weren’t that accustomed to fighting them. “They’ll keep getting weaker as we approach Besaid,” he said, “but when we head back northward, we’ll need to keep our wits about us. They say getting up Mount Gagazet is really tough – the climate doesn’t help either.” Indeed, Braska was shivering just thinking about it.

“So there are more pyreflies up there?” Jecht asked. “Why?”

“It’s close to Zanarkand,” said Auron.

Jecht’s face fell for a moment, but then he assumed a neutral expression, tightening his jaw, and said, “Oh, right, yeah. Course.”

He avoided looking Braska or Auron in the eyes for a while after that, stomping ahead to take the lead; after a minute or so, Braska laid a hand on Auron’s sleeve, and leant in to whisper, “He’s still not happy.”

“There’s nothing you can do if he doesn’t want to talk about it,” said Auron.

“I suppose not,” Braska admitted.

Some time passed, and Jecht gradually returned to his usual self; his stories about the bright lights of Zanarkand were conspicuously absent from the afternoon’s conversation, but he couldn’t help talking about his son instead to fill the void. Once he started telling the others about Tidus, he found it hard to stop; he hadn’t quite realised how much he missed him.

“Man,” he concluded, “he’s such a little runt. Honestly, I’m ashamed to be his dad. The great Jecht, you know, and then this little guy turns up, all snotty cos he’s been cryin’ again, and everyone’s like, wait, this is your kid? He’s so embarrassing.”

He looked at his companions’ frowning faces, and clarified: “He just cries all the time, see? Mom goes out – cries. Hurts himself – cries. Some blitzball result he doesn’t like – cries. And when I tell him to stop, he just cries even harder.” He shrugged. “Little weakling.”

“But,” said Auron slowly, “how old did you say he was? He’s still a child, isn’t he?”

“Seven,” Jecht confirmed. “But he’s gotta be a man, you know! Needs to toughen up.”

“Your little girl’s seven, isn’t she?” said Auron to Braska.

“That’s right,” Braska replied.

“And I’m sure she gets upset sometimes,” Auron pressed him.

“Well, yes, now and then,” said Braska. “She’s still quite small, I suppose.”

Auron turned back to Jecht triumphantly, but Jecht was shaking his head. “But she’s a girl,” he insisted. “It’s OK if the kid’s a girl – it’s different with guys.”

“But he’s still really young!” said Auron. “He’s probably, what,” – he made a gesture at waist height – “about this tall! Surely you don’t expect him to act like an adult already.”

“Hey,” said Jecht angrily, “what do you know? How many kids you got? Huh?”

Auron rolled his eyes. “None, obviously,” he said, “but –”

“Then don’t tell me how to bring up mine, OK?” said Jecht.

“Fine,” said Auron. “I didn’t realise you’d get so sensitive about it.”

Jecht made a noise of contempt and turned away. Sensitive was right: he’d never have admitted it, but being a father was something he found hard. For someone to whom most things came naturally, it was difficult to concede that parenting wasn’t like that. Earnestly believing that what Tidus needed was just to toughen up, Jecht really did try his best with him, but it never seemed to work; and when Tidus clearly preferred his mother, it was hard not to become dispirited and give up on smoothing over the widening cracks in their relationship.

Unsolicited advice from Auron, though, was the last thing he wanted.

The day went on; Jecht’s irritation faded, and he began to chat with the others again, still telling them about Tidus on the understanding that Auron knew not to try interfering this time. Braska, for his part, was still concerned about Jecht. Even if Jecht didn’t want to discuss what he had learnt about Zanarkand, he thought, there remained the matter of his involvement in the pilgrimage. Auron had rightly pointed out that bringing Jecht along had surely been better for his wellbeing than leaving him in jail, but perhaps, now, it would be kinder to allow him to make his own way. Now that he knew their destination was unlikely to be his Zanarkand, it would be understandable if he didn’t want to accompany them any further.

Having resolved that it was only fair to present Jecht with the option, he approached Auron, who said, “Not far to the travel agency now, my lord.”

“That’s good,” said Braska. “Auron, I’m going to ask Jecht to take a walk with me once we get there. I’d like to speak to him in private.”

“You’re not going to have much success if you want him to talk about his feelings,” said Auron bluntly. “He’s made it pretty clear that he’s not prepared to do that.”

Braska shook his head. “No, it’s not about that. I want to ask him if he’s still happy to accompany us. Now that he knows what we believe about Zanarkand, he may not consider it worth his while going there.”

“Oh,” said Auron, considering the possibility that Jecht might really leave them. The pilgrimage would be immeasurably improved, he decided: no more of Jecht’s embarrassingly amateurish fighting style, no more inane chatter, no more of the shame of having him wander into Spira’s holiest sites half-naked. Without Jecht, Auron would be able to devote himself entirely to protecting Braska. There would be practical considerations, such as how he might keep watch at night with nobody to share the duty, but he dismissed that as a minor detail.

“I just thought I’d tell you in advance,” Braska added, “so you know I’ll be spending some time with him later. I wouldn’t want you to be jealous.”

Auron turned to look at him. “What?” he said sharply. “Why would I be jealous?”

“Perhaps that’s not the right word,” said Braska hastily. “I just don’t want you feeling left out.”

“You can talk to Jecht as much as you want,” Auron said. “Just don’t expect him to say anything sensible.” He paused. “Spend the evening with him if you like – I don’t mind.”

“Thank you, Auron,” Braska murmured.

Soon, they drew near the travel agency. Decorated in more vibrant colours than usual, it stood out distinctively against the grassy landscape; Braska looked up at the strange buttresses, registered the distinctive script in which the sign above his head was written, and realised why the building looked so unusual.

“You know this is an Al Bhed establishment, don’t you?” he said to Auron.

“Yes,” Auron confirmed. “It’s the only travel agency on this road – who knows what Yevonites must think when they pass through here. I assumed you wouldn’t have a problem with it, sir.”

Braska chuckled softly. “Indeed I don’t. In fact, if I’m not mistaken, this place belongs to an old friend of mine. We’ve kept in touch over the years – he was always interested in hearing the news from Bevelle. Rin really was a remarkable young man.” He smiled as the memories returned to him. “He always dreamt of running a business away from Home. Last time he wrote, he was telling me he’d taken over this travel agency, and another outside Bevelle. He must be doing well, running this one right on the main trade route.”

“Outside Bevelle seems like an odd place,” Auron pointed out. “People would hardly want to be seen doing business with the Al Bhed publicly.”

“I’m sure he knows what he’s doing,” said Braska. “Rin’s terribly shrewd. Perhaps he’s inside – it would be wonderful if the two of you could meet. You’d get on, I think – you’re both eminently sensible.”

“So what are all the Yevon people meant to do if they don’t wanna stay here?” asked Jecht.

Braska shrugged, grinning a little. “That’s their problem,” he said. “I suppose Rin has made it rather inconvenient for them – a shame, isn’t it, Auron?”

Auron couldn’t help smirking back. “I’m sure it is, sir.”

Braska led the way inside with uncharacteristic enthusiasm, faltering only slightly when he caught sight of the clerk, an Al Bhed woman wearing the large goggles favoured by many of her race. With the exact shape of her face obscured, she looked so like Girl – if Braska had thought about the similarity for more than a moment, he would have found it difficult to maintain eye contact, but he pushed the thought away and walked towards her.

“Kuut yvdanhuuh,”Good afternoon. he said politely. It was only right, he believed, to address the Al Bhed in their own language when possible, just to show that he and his companions meant no ill will towards them.

“Kuut yvdanhuuh, cen,” she replied. “Yna oui muugehk vun y nuus?”Good afternoon, sir. Are you looking for a room?

“Er –” said Braska. “I’m sorry, my Al Bhed’s a little rusty –”

“No problem, sir,” she replied in the common tongue; only a slightly stilted intonation betrayed the fact that it wasn’t her native language. “Is it a room you’re after?”

“Yes,” said Braska with relief. “My guardian will make the arrangements, thank you. This is one of Rin’s agencies, isn’t it? Is he around?”

“I’m afraid he’s at the other branch today, sir,” she said. “Do you know him well?”

“I do,” said Braska. “Never mind – perhaps we’ll catch him on the way back. I’ll leave you to arrange the room, Auron.” He ambled over to the seating area and let himself sink into a chair, glad to have the chance to rest.

Auron emptied the gil purse onto the reception desk; they still didn’t have much money. “I hope this is enough for a room,” he said. “We just need one bed for Lord Braska, and we’ll forgo breakfast if necessary.”

“Lord Braska!” the woman repeated. “Of course – I thought I recognised you both from the notice we were sent from Bevelle.”

Auron’s face fell – he hadn’t expected this agency to have received the injunction against them when it had so clearly been addressed to Yevonites. Maybe, he thought, the Al Bhed who ran the place were determined to comply with official rulings in an effort to get on with their clientele. “We’re not asking for any additional support,” he said. “Just whatever basic room this money might get us. I really hope it’s enough to afford something – it’s been days since Lord Braska last slept in a bed. He does need his rest.”

The clerk chuckled. “My apologies, sir,” she said.

“Please,” Auron insisted. “He’s been finding things hard –”

“No, you misunderstand me,” she said, and reached down to take hold of the waste paper basket on the floor at her side of the desk. Holding it towards Auron, she said, “I think this will clarify Mr Rin’s attitude towards Yevonite directives.”

Puzzled, Auron looked into the bin, and at last understood: staring back up at him from within was the drawing of his own face from the notice, ripped sharply across one side. The rest of the notice lay scattered around it in similar small pieces.

“Ah,” he said, laughing. “I see. Did Rin do this himself?”

“He did,” she replied. “Very enthusiastically, if I may say so, sir.”

They quickly made arrangements for a room – the clerk making it very clear that both breakfast and dinner would be provided at no extra cost – and Braska went inside for a short nap while Auron and Jecht busied themselves with a game of chess in the reception area. They were well matched, although Jecht was beginning to get frustrated with the time Auron took to make his moves, and when Braska reappeared, he was glad to have the chance to turn away from the game without making it seem like he was forfeiting.

“Would you like to take a walk with me, Jecht?” said Braska. “There’s something I need to discuss with you.”

Jecht sighed, suddenly finding his mood souring. “Braska,” he said, “I still don’t wanna talk about the Zanarkand thing. Can we just drop it already?”

“Oh, it’s not that,” said Braska quickly. “Well, it’s related, but – I promise I won’t ask you how you’re feeling about it. This is something different – a more practical matter.”

“Yeah?” said Jecht, mildly intrigued.

Braska nodded. “It’s really just a simple question. All you need to say is yes or no, and I’ll respect your decision.”

“And you can’t just ask it here?” said Jecht.

“I could,” Braska admitted, “but I thought you might be glad of a walk, and the chance to think it over without distraction.”

Rightly guessing that distraction meant the high probability of some sarcastic or angry remark from Auron, Jecht nodded. “Yeah, OK,” he said. “Sure, let’s go.”

They headed outside; Braska smiled at Jecht, making the effort to give him his full attention. “Now, Jecht,” he said, “first of all, I have to apologise. The fayth of Djose Temple told me I need to be kinder to you and Auron; and he was right. It’s just that I don’t always manage to – well, you know about all that. But I am sorry, Jecht, really.”

“Uh, no bother,” said Jecht.

“I’ve enjoyed hearing all the stories you’ve been telling us,” he went on. “They really do help me take my mind off things. And that training we did in the woods – that was fun, wasn’t it? I know we only met a fortnight or so ago, but I really do feel as if … well, what I mean to say is, I hope you don’t think me presumptuous if I call you a friend.” He paused. “I know I’m not always a terribly attentive one. But I do see the two of us as friends now, and I can’t help but wonder – do you feel the same way?”

Jecht tried to disguise his bewilderment at the question; it was odd to be part of such a candid discussion about the matter. Friendship was never negotiated in such straightforward terms in Zanarkand, and he suspected it was unusual to speak about it in this way in Spira as well. Besides, Jecht had never really had friends before. Teammates, rivals, lovers – people to whom he owed favours, and who owed favours to him – but all his relationships in Zanarkand were transactional, all built on his efforts to ensure he remained the best of the best, trading off his place in someone’s estimation for a strategic word in the ear of somebody else.

But, admittedly, Braska wasn’t much like those people. Jecht had no ill will towards him; indeed, he wanted Braska to succeed in his pilgrimage, even if getting home was a more important concern. He enjoyed telling Braska his stories and making him laugh; it was certainly more pleasant than spending time with Auron. There was nothing Braska demanded of him in exchange other than his services as a guardian, and that had been made very clear right from the start. He had even been reasonably happy to give up his reliance on alcohol in Braska’s company – and the summoner had helped him with that, too. In a sense, he was more able to let his guard down and be himself around Braska than he was with anyone he knew in Zanarkand, and, he supposed, if that didn’t count as friendship, then surely nothing could.

“Uh,” he said, “was that the question you wanted to ask me?”

Braska chuckled. “No,” he said, “sorry. Just an idle thought, I suppose.”

“Right,” said Jecht. “Well, I guess … you’re a good guy, Braska. You’re doin’ a good thing, and I … aw, man.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah,” he said, “you’re my friend, I guess.”

“Thank you, Jecht,” said Braska, almost moving over to embrace him before he realised Jecht definitely wouldn’t enjoy it. “That means a lot,” he said instead. “Friendship is a precious thing, and I’m sure you don’t offer yours lightly.”

Normally, Jecht would have made some remark about being one of Zanarkand’s top celebrities, but on this occasion, for multiple reasons, the words fell flat before they even took shape in his mouth, so he just grunted in response.

“Anyway,” said Braska, “there’s something else I need to apologise for. When we first met, and you started telling us about Zanarkand – your Zanarkand – I should have said something at the time. It was obvious from the beginning that your city isn’t the Zanarkand of legend, at least not according to what people in Spira believe about it. I should have made that clear before I asked you to come with us. I had other things on my mind – leaving Yuna behind, and starting the pilgrimage, and making sure Auron didn’t have to face the burden of being a guardian alone – quite apart from everything else. But that was remiss of me. I’m sorry.”

It was the same sort of apology that Auron had offered Jecht the day before, and he found it similarly unnerving, although somewhat less unexpected, on this occasion. “Uh, it’s OK,” he said. “I mean, yeah, it was pretty clear that there was something goin’ on. I guess I was just drinkin’ too much to put the pieces together back then.”

Braska nodded sadly. “It occurred to me,” he said, “that now you know the full truth about Zanarkand, you may be reconsidering your role as my guardian. And I shan’t stop you – if you think it’s best to leave us, I understand.”

“You mean,” said Jecht, “you’d let me walk away? Give up on the guardian stuff?”

“Of course,” said Braska. “I’m not holding you captive. You were released from Bevelle under the condition that you would be accompanying me on the pilgrimage, but you already know I don’t pay much heed to their rules. If you want to make your own way from here, you have every right to do so.”

“Yeah?” said Jecht. He’d never thought about the possibility of leaving Braska and Auron to it – being part of the pilgrimage was a duty he had seen as necessary even before he came to have any opinion on the journey’s importance. To have the option suddenly presented now was nothing short of overwhelming. He would be able to go anywhere in Spira he wanted – he wouldn’t know where to start.

“Auron would have to guard you on his own,” he mused.

“Yes,” said Braska. “But he’s doing all right – I think he’d manage. Don’t feel that you have any obligation to us, Jecht. The pilgrimage isn’t your responsibility if you choose to leave it. All I ask is that you be honest with me about what you want to do, and whatever you decide, I’ll support you. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, my friend.”

Jecht’s thoughts returned to the decision he had made on the bank of the Moonflow. If he continued to assist Braska on the pilgrimage – if they could bring the Calm to Spira – it would prove that he was a good person. He would be able to go home and hold his head high, and nothing the media said about him would matter anymore. He could concentrate on taking care of his family at last, knowing he had been able to demonstrate his worth outside the blitzball sphere. And, given Auron’s theory about Zanarkand, there would perhaps be some clue as to how he might get home once they reached their destination. If he turned down the chance to go all the way, he would have no leads at all.

“I’m stayin’,” he said.

“Staying with us?” Braska asked.

Jecht nodded. “Yeah.”

“You’re sure?”

He nodded again, hoping Braska wouldn’t press him any more about it.

Braska looked at the ground, making a halfhearted attempt to hide his smile. “Well,” he said, “thank you, then. I’m honoured to have you as my guardian, Jecht. Who knows where we’d be without you?”

“Yeah,” said Jecht. “No offence, but you and Auron would lose to those reptile fiends every time.”

“Oh yes,” said Braska, remembering the kind he was talking about. “They are rather fast, aren’t they?”

Back at the travel agency, Auron was drinking a nice glass of whiskey that the clerk had supplied to him free of charge – another perk of being an enemy of Yevon – and enjoying a little quiet time to himself, idly watching the other guests as they made their way to the reception desk to check in or ask for information. The agency was busy; the fact that it was run by Al Bhed didn’t seem to have deterred Yevonites from using it, although they didn’t have much choice. Some of them were clearly displeased to be staying in such an establishment, but they managed to remain civil with the staff, and in some cases, they even appeared to warm to them after finding that their needs were met.

Auron was the only person in the seating area until he was joined by a woman who looked to be in her early sixties; he could tell from her clothes and the complicated way she wore her long, greying hair that she was well off. She perched on the seat next to him carefully, seeming troubled by her surroundings.

“Good evening,” he said, wondering if the chance to talk might put her at ease.

She blinked, startled to hear him speak, and looked him over carefully before saying, “You’re not one of them.”

“Not an Al Bhed, no,” said Auron.

“Thank all the fayth for that,” she replied. “We were very disappointed to find they had taken over this travel agency. It used to be such a lovely little place. We simply can’t stay here tonight – my husband’s arranging transport to Luca straight away.”

She gestured towards the reception desk, and Auron looked; sure enough, a finely dressed man of around the same age was standing there, speaking tersely to the clerk, who, Auron noted, was doing an excellent job of remaining calm and professional.

“They’re not all bad,” he couldn’t help saying.

“Perhaps not,” she replied. “That lady seems respectful enough, and she’s learnt our language well. But there’s no question of our staying here overnight. I feel ill just thinking about it.”

Finding no appropriate response to what he could only assume was extreme bigotry, Auron grimaced in a way he hoped looked sympathetic.

“They took our son, you see,” the woman added.

“Took?” Auron repeated with surprise – he had never heard of the Al Bhed doing such a thing. “You mean – they kidnapped him?”

“As good as kidnapped, yes,” she said. “It was a frightful affair. A few years ago now, but you must understand that I can’t forgive them something like that.”

“I’m sure,” Auron murmured, wondering how true the accusation was, as the woman’s husband made his way over to join them.

“Well?” she asked, watching him sit down.

He took her hand. “It’s all sorted. There’s a man on his way now – he’ll take us to Luca. We won’t arrive until midnight, but some of the hotels will still be open, she said.”

“Praise be to Yevon,” said his wife fervently.

He caressed her hand for a few seconds, and then looked past her, turning his attention to Auron. “I hope you’re not staying here long, young man,” he said.

“Only tonight,” said Auron, affecting a polite smile.

“Well,” the man replied, “may the fayth preserve you.”

“You’re very kind,” said Auron. “I’m sorry to hear you and your wife have had bad experiences with the Al Bhed. I’ve always found them to be very civil.”

The man frowned a little, still clinging onto his wife’s hand. “I suppose it’s different for you young people,” he said. “Have you come far?”

“From Bevelle,” said Auron.

“Oh really?” the woman said. “So have we. We’re taking a short holiday in Luca – things have been difficult at home recently, so we thought a change of scene would do us good. We’re heading down to watch a few blitzball matches.”

“Yes,” her husband added, “always clears the mind. We had some bad news a few weeks ago, and we’ve hardly been able to keep up with events in Bevelle since then – we’re in dire need of a few days away from it.”

Auron nodded, meeting the steely gaze of the man’s blue eyes. That made sense, he thought: most people from Bevelle would know of his infamy, but this couple clearly had no idea who he was. If they hadn’t been following the news recently, that would explain it.

“A shame the Bells were disbanded,” the man went on, returning with more levity to the subject of blitzball, “but I’ve supported the Goers since then – it’s always rewarding to watch the home team. Are you a fan?”

“Not really,” Auron admitted.

“Then what brings you to Luca?” the man asked. “I assume that’s where you’re going.”

“Well, yes,” said Auron, “but on to Kilika and Besaid after that. I’m a summoner’s guardian, you see – we’re on pilgrimage.”

“Really!” the two of them exclaimed in tandem. “How wonderful!” the woman added.

“Then you certainly shouldn’t be staying in a place like this,” said the man.

“It’s quite all right,” said Auron. “My lord summoner doesn’t mind at all.”

“I suppose he’s a fine young man like you, is he?” the woman asked.

“Don’t embarrass him, dear,” said her husband.

She looked back at him, and said, “Well, I wouldn’t expect you to see it, but he is a rather handsome young fellow.”

“My lord summoner is making excellent progress,” said Auron, a little awkwardly, before the man could accuse him of stealing his wife’s affections. “I’m very fortunate to be his guardian.”

“And he must be doing well, if he’s on the way to Kilika,” said the woman. “He must have a fair few æons by now.”

Auron nodded. “Three, yes.” He was about to say more – it was never a chore to praise Braska – but at that moment, a man entered the agency, approached the three of them, and said, “Did someone call for transport to Luca?”

“Oh yes, that’s us,” said the woman. “Thank goodness for that – at last we can escape this awful place.”

She and her husband both stood; Auron rose too to shake their hands, and bade them a good journey.

“May Yevon’s blessings be with you,” said the man. “We’ll pray for you and your lord summoner.”

“Thank you very much,” said Auron. “Enjoy the blitzball.”

He watched them leave, returning to his whiskey; they were a nice enough couple, he thought, but of an age and class that meant they were disposed to be intolerant towards those unlike them. He’d learnt to get on with that sort of person during his time in the corps: rising through the ranks had meant there were a lot of them to be pleased.

Outside, Braska and Jecht were coming to the end of their walk; once it had been established that Jecht was happy to continue as Braska’s guardian, their conversation had turned to more trivial matters, and they had amused each other by relating a few mishaps from their respective early days of fatherhood on the journey back to the travel agency. As they approached the building, Braska glanced ahead towards the entrance, gradually realised what – or rather who – he was looking at, and grasped Jecht’s arm tightly, freezing in place.

“Ow!” Jecht exclaimed. “Hey, what’s the big idea?”

“Don’t move,” said Braska quietly. “Stay where you are.”

“Huh?” said Jecht. “What is it, a fiend?”

Braska shook his head. “Just stay still, please. It’ll only be a minute or so.”

Confused, Jecht waited with him, following his gaze to the travel agency entrance; the same couple Auron had been speaking to were loading their luggage into the cart that belonged to the driver they had hired. Jecht, of course, didn’t recognise them at all. He watched as they climbed into the cart themselves, the husband ushering his wife in before him, and closed the doors; shortly afterwards, the chocobo that drew the vehicle began trotting along the road. As the cart passed close to Jecht and Braska, Braska turned away from it, shielding his face in the crook of his elbow as he waited for it to pass by; only once it had made its way out of sight did he lift his head again, letting go of Jecht’s arm at the same time.

“What the hell was that about?” said Jecht.

Braska took a deep breath before responding. “Those people were my parents,” he said.

Jecht knew they were long gone, but he couldn’t help turning his head in the relevant direction anyway, staring at the road as if the pattern of dust the cart had left behind could give some indication of its purpose. “No way!” he said. “So you, uh, don’t get on?”

“They haven’t spoken to me for eight years,” said Braska, his eyes still wide with surprise. “After I married – they didn’t want anything to do with me.” He looked at the ground and blinked several times. “Let’s get back inside,” he said. “I need to sit down.”

They made their way back into the travel agency and joined Auron, who had just finished his whiskey. “Good walk, sir?” he asked.

“What?” said Braska. “Oh – yes.” He sank into the chair opposite. “Jecht,” he added, “would you get me a cup of tea, please?”

Jecht headed over to the reception desk; Auron leant towards Braska, and said, “Is something wrong? Did Jecht decide he does want to leave us?”

“Just give me a moment, please, Auron,” said Braska, resting his chin in his hands as he looked down at the table. It was getting dark outside, but the sight of his parents had seemed so vivid; the thing that had struck him most was the fact that since he had last seen them, they seemed to have grown old. His mother’s hair had never been that grey; his father had walked more confidently than that, more fluidly. And yet, he thought, their son was the one who would die first.

Jecht returned with the tea, set it on the table in front of Braska, and sat down next to him.

“All right,” said Auron crossly, “will you tell me what’s going on? Jecht, are you leaving us or aren’t you?”

“Huh?” said Jecht. “What are you talkin’ about? I’m staying, obviously – although if it was your pilgrimage, you bet I’d be out the door like a shot.”

Auron folded his arms in displeasure. “What’s this about, then?”

“Braska saw his parents out there,” said Jecht, watching with satisfaction as Auron suddenly became speechless.

“Oh. Right,” said Auron, after several seconds. “Did you … did they speak to you, my lord?”

“They didn’t see him,” said Jecht. “We stopped before we could get near enough.”

Auron nodded, and then a sudden suspicion came over him. “They weren’t coming out of here, were they?” he ventured. “Getting into a chocobo-drawn cart?”

Braska looked him in the eyes at that, but continued to make no response; Jecht nodded, and said, “Yeah. You know who we’re talkin’ about?”

“Yeah,” Auron echoed. “A woman with long hair, and a man wearing a turban, right? Sixty-ish? I was just talking to them. They came and sat here and spoke to me.” He thought back to the man’s piercing blue eyes, and realised there was no doubt about it.

“What did they say?” said Braska hoarsely.

“Nothing about you,” said Auron. “I’d never have realised – well, they did say their son was taken by the Al Bhed, but I thought they meant the Al Bhed had captured him when he was a child or something, not –” He shook his head. “I wish I’d worked it out. They were mostly just talking about how afraid of the Al Bhed they were. They’d only just arrived – they were supposed to stay here tonight, but they ordered that cart so they could go straight to Luca.”

Braska frowned. “Luca? What are they doing there?”

“Watching the blitzball, by the sound of it,” said Auron, ignoring the interested expression that Jecht suddenly assumed. “They said something about taking their minds off some bad news.”

“Oh, I know what that’ll be,” said Braska. “The news that I was taking the pilgrimage. They wrote to me, you know – the first time in years. I ignored it. I just hope they don’t get their hands on Yuna when I’m gone.” He sipped at his tea and sighed. “They were good parents. Always taught me to be kind and inquisitive – they even questioned some of the Yevonite doctrines. But when I married, that all changed – going off with an Al Bhed was inexcusable, in their book. I had thought they might see sense when it was their own son, but my mother forced me to go with her to the temple in the citadel, and when I refused to kneel in front of Lady Yunalesca’s statue and repent, she disowned me then and there, in front of all the priests who used to be my colleagues.”

“Whoa,” said Jecht. “And I thought my folks were assholes.”

Braska took another sip of his tea and gave Jecht a sympathetic smile. “Do they give you trouble?” he asked.

“Eh, it was more when I was a kid,” said Jecht. “They just didn’t want me to be a blitzball star – thought I wasn’t serious about it. They wanted me to get a real job, work with computers or be some boring professor or somethin’. But I showed ’em.” He turned towards Auron, to whom the latter part of what he had said had been impenetrable. “So what about you, huh? Let me guess, mister perfect has perfect parents too?”

“I wouldn’t know how perfect they were,” said Auron impassively. “In fact, I barely remember them at all. They died over twenty years ago.”

Jecht gaped at him. “Seriously?”

Auron merely glared back; Braska took up the thread. “Auron’s family were killed by Sin,” he said softly. “It was one of the worst tragedies in living memory – the whole village was wiped out. Only a handful of the youngest children were spared.”

“Oh man,” said Jecht. “Auron, I –” He looked at Auron, who had taken to staring glumly into the distance, and the words caught in his throat. “Well,” he said instead, forcing lightness into his voice, “I guess all of us are fucked up, then. Cheers to that, huh?” Balling his right hand into a fist, he thumped it lightly against Braska’s teacup, and then Auron’s empty whiskey glass.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a short while, and then Auron let out a quiet snort of amusement. “I suppose so,” he said. “Look, we should have some dinner before it gets too late. I’ll ask them to put something on for us.” He got up and strode over to the reception desk.

The dinner was ready before too long: a nutritious salad of fresh produce that even Braska enjoyed. The three of them ate without making much conversation; Auron, unusually, found himself thinking about his family. He was normally less affected when they were mentioned, given that their deaths had been so long ago; it was the stress of recent events, he supposed, that had made this occasion harder to bear. That, and the fact that they had needed to explain the situation to Jecht in detail: most people he knew were aware of what had happened in that village. The scale of the incident had ensured it was still well known in Spira, even though Sin killed people every week.

It was true that he couldn’t remember them – he certainly couldn’t picture them, anyway. But there were a few things, fleeting sensations, that he recalled: his mother’s soft hands bathing him, his father hoisting him over his shoulder when he returned from his work in the fields. His sisters’ giggles when they involved him in their games, joining their small, sticky hands with his even smaller ones; his brother, older by a full fifteen years, smiling down at him during his brief visits home while off duty. He had been a Crusader, Auron had learnt much later by laboriously reading through the obituaries; there was a certain irony there.

“I’m tired,” he announced. “I’m going to bed.” Without waiting for a reaction, he made his way to the room they had reserved.

“Oh, poor Auron,” Braska sighed. “I think it was a shock for him, having that brought up. He doesn’t usually talk about it.”

“I wouldn’t’ve said if I knew,” Jecht muttered.

“Of course not,” said Braska. “There’s a habit of not asking about family in Spira – it’s painful for a lot of people. Sin has killed too many. As far as parents go, I’m quite fortunate, really, even if our relationship ended badly.” He thought back to the sight of his mother’s grey hair, and said, “I think I’ll go to bed too – oh, but we should take Yuna’s sphere first. I’ll go and get the recorder.”

He crept into their room, hoping not to disturb Auron, but found him lying on his mat with his eyes wide open. “Are you all right?” he asked.

“Yeah,” said Auron. “I just didn’t feel like talking anymore. What about you, sir? It can’t have been pleasant running into your parents like that.”

“It was an unwelcome surprise, yes,” Braska admitted. “But at least they didn’t see me.” He located the sphere recorder and a fresh sphere, and added, “Well, goodnight. I hope you sleep well.”

“Thank you, sir,” said Auron. “You too.”

16. Shoopuf Milk

Halfway through breakfast the next morning, Braska excused himself and headed to the travel agency reception; he was keen to hear how the Al Bhed were faring after the destruction of Home. It had still been only a week since the incident, and the clerk hadn’t heard a lot, but she informed him that Rin was hoping to contribute financially to the rebuilding effort.

“But what about all the poor people who lived there?” Braska asked. “Do they have places to go?”

She shrugged. “I’m sure a lot of them have relatives they can stay with. It’s rare to find an Al Bhed family without at least one member who moved away. Pnyeh tnyeh,Brain drain we call it – a lot of people find more opportunities on the mainland.”

It was true, Braska knew: there had been a distinct lack of young adults at Home when he had spent time there. That was one of the reasons why he had initially caught Girl’s attention: there had been few others of around her own age. When they started getting to know each other, he had thought that she might be curious enough about Yevon to allow him to make some progress in his allotted task, but things had turned out differently when he eventually realised her interest lay elsewhere.

“Have you been away long yourself?” he said.

“Seven years,” she replied. “I left as soon as I could – I’d heard so much about what it was like in the Yevonite towns. I couldn’t wait to see it all in person.”

“It must have been awfully hard, making your way on your own,” said Braska.

“Not really,” she said. “There are always jobs for Al Bhed, even if the Yevonites don’t want to admit it. I was in the machine trade in Luca until Mr Rin hired me.”

“That sounds like quite the career change,” he remarked.

She chuckled. “It was. I didn’t want the job at first, but Mr Rin was insistent. He needed someone who’d spent enough time among Yevonites to understand their customs well. He’s always very insistent that we need to make them feel at ease.”

“I’m sure that helps, yes,” said Braska. “And you speak our language extremely well. I always found Al Bhed terribly hard – I can read it well enough, but getting my tongue around those sounds was always difficult. Velar fricatives, isn’t that right? A nightmare.”

Back at the breakfast table, Auron was getting increasingly impatient. He was hoping to be back on the road in plenty of time for the three of them to make it to Luca before nightfall; on the other hand, Braska had left half his breakfast behind when he took his leave, and Auron didn’t want to deprive him of the option to return and finish it, as unlikely as that seemed. He glanced between the clock, Braska’s abandoned plate, his own boots, and Jecht, who was still stuffing himself with toast, compensating as always for Braska’s lack of appetite.

“He ain’t gonna come back,” said Jecht, his mouth full of toast. “Dunno what you’re waitin’ for.”

Auron frowned: since giving up the alcohol, he thought, Jecht had become altogether too perceptive. He’d preferred it when Jecht hadn’t seemed to be able to tell what he was thinking half the time. Moreover, it annoyed him that Jecht was almost certainly right about Braska not returning as well; not to mention his terrible table manners.

He got up and walked over to the reception desk, standing behind Braska while he waited for a lull in the conversation; eventually, the clerk nodded at him, and said to Braska, “I think your guardian wants to speak to you, sir.”

Braska, who had been in the middle of a fond anecdote about how the Al Bhed stored perishable goods, turned around, and was faced with an apologetic half-smile from Auron. “I don’t want to rush you, my lord,” said the latter, “but we should make a move soon. Are you going to finish your breakfast?”

“Oh, I’ve finished,” said Braska blithely.

Auron suppressed a sigh. “Fine,” he said. “I’ll settle up, then, and then we can get going.”

Braska began to move aside, but then something struck him; he placed a hand on Auron’s arm to stop him getting closer to the desk, and said, “Could we have a word first?”

“Sure,” said Auron, and he let Braska usher him to one of the tables, where they both sat down.

“Auron,” said Braska, leaning close to his guardian and speaking in a low voice, “I don’t think you should … negotiate. You spoke about the price yesterday, didn’t you? Best just to pay the standard rate, I should think.”

“We did discuss it,” Auron murmured back, “but it’s not as if we made a formal agreement. We’re still low on funds, sir – we need to make economies where we can. If I can just get the price down by a few gil, that might make all the difference.”

Braska shook his head. “But they’ve been so good to us,” he insisted, “keeping us fed and watered when they know we can’t pay extra. I really think it would be improper to try arguing them down any further. Besides, I’m very keen to support Rin’s business; you know the poor Al Bhed need help after what happened to Home.”

“If you say so, sir,” said Auron, and he stood up stiffly and returned to the desk to hand over the exact sum that the clerk requested.

“I expected you to haggle,” she said cheerfully. “Most Yevonites at least try.”

“And you Al Bhed always pay the advertised price, do you?” Auron couldn’t help asking.

“Usually, yes,” she replied. “Certainly when we’re among our own people. It does help to know exactly how much is changing hands before doing business.”

Auron let the subject drop: it was a cultural difference that would just annoy him more if he continued thinking about it. “My lord summoner is very grateful for your assistance,” he said instead, more calmly. “Talking to the Al Bhed does him good. I don’t know how much he told you about his background, but –”

“I remember him,” she interrupted. “He spent a lot of time at Home, not long before I left. I’m sure he’s forgotten me – there was only one person he was really interested in. They were very sweet together.”

“I thought they kept their relationship secret until they married,” said Auron.

“They thought they were keeping it secret,” she said with a smile, which dropped immediately as she added, “I’m sorry he’s become a summoner.”

Auron was sorry about it too, of course; he stood up a little straighter, and said, “Don’t be. It’s a great honour to be called to serve Yevon in that way.”

“Then I wish you good luck, sir,” she said impassively.

After gathering the belongings and dragging Jecht away from the breakfast table, they were on their way to Luca, once again enjoying the pleasant climate and blue sky, as well as the fact that the fiends were relatively easy to deal with.

“I think you’ll find Luca a bit more interesting, Jecht,” Braska remarked. “It’s almost as big as Bevelle – and a little more tolerant. There’s always something going on there.”

“Luca,” Jecht repeated thoughtfully: the name had put him in mind of something he had heard the previous night. He had sworn to himself that he wouldn’t forget it; now, to his dismay, that promise was the only thing he remembered. After racking his brains for several minutes, he eventually realised what the significance of it was.

“Blitzball!” he exclaimed, wheeling around to look the others in the eyes. “Luca! Blitzball!”

“What?” said Auron wearily.

“You said,” said Jecht, pointing at him with enthusiasm, “Braska’s folks were goin’ to Luca to see some blitzball games, right? So there’s a stadium there, yeah? I gotta see it!”

“We don’t have time,” Auron told him. “We’ll only be there a few hours tonight – just enough to stock up on supplies and find some dinner. We’re getting straight on the boat to Kilika.”

“Auron,” Jecht whined, “this is real important to me, you know? I ain’t played a match for weeks – I’m going crazy here! Just need to keep my hand in – I promise it’ll be quick. Please, Auron – do me a favour, won’t ya?”

Auron frowned, saying nothing; Jecht turned his entreaties onto Braska. “You get it, huh, Braska?” he asked. “You ain’t gonna stop me doin’ what I love, right?”

Braska hesitated for a moment, and then said, “We can’t, Jecht.”

“So we just stay in Luca a couple nights and get on some other boat,” said Jecht impatiently; “what’s the problem?”

“It’s not that,” said Braska. “It’s – we’re not going near that stadium while my parents are there. I’d really rather move on as soon as possible.”

“Aw, come on,” said Jecht. “There’ll be a crowd, we ain’t gonna see ’em. And if we do, me and Auron’ll just tell ’em to scram, right?”

“I’m sorry, Jecht,” said Braska firmly, “but we’re not going to risk it.”

“But,” said Jecht, “blitz is – you know, it’s my thing! It’s – you know how much I hate this place. Nothin’ to do anywhere except fightin’ fiends and worryin’ about Sin coming to kill us all, and now with all this shit about Zanarkand too – I just need somethin’ to take my mind off of it, yeah?”

It was a greater admission of vulnerability than he felt comfortable making, and he hoped it would at least show Braska how serious he was about the benefits of a few matches for his wellbeing, but Braska shook his head.

“It’s out of the question,” he said. “I’m very sorry, Jecht, I know this is a disappointment; but you’re my guardian, and my needs come first. That’s how the pilgrimage works.”

“Bullshit,” Jecht snarled. “What happened to us bein’ friends, huh? I know you guys have some weird messed-up idea of friendship where it’s more like one of you is the other one’s slave, but seriously, that ain’t normal. It’s meant to be about mutual respect, you know? Whatever. Fuck you.” He turned away and began stomping onwards down the road.

“Don’t worry about it, sir,” said Auron, as soon as Jecht was out of earshot. “He’s a …” He searched for a word that would convey his disapproval. “An absolute ruffian.”

“He has a point, though,” said Braska miserably. “But I can’t face going anywhere near the place while they’re around. Oh Auron, I don’t know what to do.”

“You were right,” Auron insisted. “You’re the summoner – we defer to your word. It’s not your fault Jecht refuses to understand how this works. He’s been here long enough now.”

“Long enough to miss his Zanarkand terribly, I’m sure,” said Braska. “If only we could find some sort of compromise.”

Auron considered. There would be a second opportunity to call in at the blitzball stadium on the northward journey; Braska, he surmised, seemed to have forgotten that. Auron wasn’t particularly inclined to bring it up either, until he glanced at Braska and saw how regretful he looked. Maybe, Auron thought, keeping Jecht happy really was that important to the summoner, as hard as it was to empathise.

“We’ll be coming back this way as well,” he said reluctantly. “I’m sure your parents will have left by then – maybe we can catch one of the games on the way through.”

“Oh, of course,” Braska murmured. He glanced towards Jecht, rubbed a hand over his face, and then said, “Yes. I hope he’ll accept that. Would you –” He reconsidered. “No, I’ll raise it with him.”

Auron watched as Braska hurried forward to catch up with Jecht and then began to make his peace offering; Jecht remained stiff and withdrawn at first, but gradually, he loosened up. Having no desire to get involved, Auron stayed a few paces behind, ready to be the first line of defence against any fiends that attacked them from the rear; but none did so, and he found himself continuing to watch his companions while their conversation went on, keeping himself entertained by trying to guess the sort of things they were saying from their now decidedly cordial body language.

Eventually, Braska gave Jecht a friendly pat on the shoulder and turned around to face Auron, standing still on the path while he waited for him to catch up. “It’s settled,” he announced cheerfully, once Auron was in earshot. “We’ll spend a few days in Luca on the way back.”

“A few days?!” Auron echoed.

“He’s awfully persuasive,” said Braska.

Auron let out a long sigh.

“You’re not angry with me, are you?” Braska asked him.

“No,” said Auron, “of course not. I just don’t know how we’ll pay for it, with our financial problems. The fiend bounties aren’t exactly generous around here, and they’ll be worse on the islands.”

“It’ll be all right,” said Braska, who had never had to be careful with money in his life.

Auron grunted in response as he thought about it. If things became truly unmanageable, he decided, he would probably be able to make a few gil later on by hiring himself out as some kind of mercenary swordsman. It wasn’t pleasant to think about – a far cry from his warrior monk days – but it would stop them becoming destitute. Jecht’s characteristic insistence on derailing the pilgrimage was irritating, but on the other hand, he realised, perhaps some extra time would be useful. There was a public library in Luca, he knew; there was bound to be material there relating to the Final Summoning. A few days for some research might give him the key to preventing Braska’s death.

“I suppose a break will do us all good,” he conceded at last.

They walked on to Luca, in an uneasy truce that eventually gave way to genuine companionship: if the disagreement had been between Auron and Braska, things would have been different, but Jecht rarely stayed angry for long. By the time they arrived at the top of the stone steps that marked the southern end of the Mi’ihen Highroad and the northern entrance to the city, he was informing the others enthusiastically about the moves he would be showing off once he eventually got into the blitz sphere, and even though neither Braska nor Auron had any particular interest in the sport, Jecht’s language was colourful enough to get them both to pay attention.

“Right,” said Auron as soon as there was a gap in Jecht’s enthusiastic monologue, “we’ve got a while to stock up. Then we can find somewhere to eat, and make our way to the docks after that.”

“You keep saying we ain’t got any money,” Jecht pointed out. “What are we meant to be stockin’ up on?”

Auron glared at him. “A few potions cost a lot less than a room at a travel agency,” he said. “Besides, some of the shops around here sell things at a discount. There’s more competition – they have to attract customers.”

He began leading the way to a shop where he knew the prices would be reasonable; with the intent, of course, of arguing them down still further. Jecht looked around as they walked, taking an interest in the surroundings. Luca was only the second town of a reasonable size he had visited in Spira – indeed, although he didn’t know it, it was the only settlement other than Bevelle to consist of much more than a main square and a few houses. He was intrigued by the sight of the buildings, their dull grey and yellow stone decorated in places with bright patterns and covered incongruously with colourful banners and pennants: the atmosphere seemed a lot less sombre than elsewhere in Spira.

There were a significant number of Al Bhed walking around the place too, he realised; he now knew how to recognise them from the goggles and strange jumpsuits many of them wore. He pointed out the observation to Braska, and Braska nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes, there are a lot of Al Bhed here,” he confirmed. “A lot in Bevelle, too, but they tend to make themselves less conspicuous there. I’ve heard the teachings hold less sway –”

The sudden blare of a siren interrupted him before he could complete the sentence; he winced and pressed both hands to his ears, dropping his staff in the process.

“Some building get broken into?” Jecht yelled, as Auron bent to pick it up.

Auron shook his head. “Sin,” he said.

“What?” said Jecht.

“Sin!” Auron repeated loudly. “It’s the warning alarm for the city – lockdown. We’re meant to take shelter indoors.”

They found their way to the nearest bar; after the door swung shut behind them, it became significantly easier to hear each other, and Braska finally lowered his hands from his ears and took his staff back from Auron, exhaling slowly.

“So Sin’s attacking the city?” said Jecht.

“Unlikely,” Auron explained. “It’s probably been sighted at the port. There are plenty of Crusaders there – they’ll do their best to drive it off. Luca’s quite well defended.” He turned and looked back through the glass pane in the door, watching the people outside as they hurried through the street towards their homes. “Perhaps I should go and offer my services,” he mused. “They could probably do with some extra manpower.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Braska murmured.

“Their swordwork’s atrocious, though,” said Auron thoughtfully, still looking out at the street. “Worse than his.” He nodded towards Jecht, making no response to the aggrieved little yelp he had provoked.

“Auron,” said Braska, more firmly. “You’re not a warrior monk anymore. You’re here as my guardian, and I need you to stay with me.”

Auron turned to look at him at last, met his eyes, and said, “Forgive me, sir. I’ll stay here, of course. Are you all right?”

Braska merely sighed in response. The sudden arrival of Sin had distressed him, even though he knew that being in the centre of Luca meant they were well protected. Part of him wanted to go out there too, and confront the creature even with the insufficient power he had gained on the pilgrimage so far; at the same time, he wanted to put as much distance between himself and Sin as possible. Three years ago, it had destroyed any chance he might have at living out his life in happiness; the thought of having to face it now was sickening, and the thought of doing so without Auron’s support absolutely unbearable.

“Let’s get some drinks,” said Auron, wondering if Braska might benefit from a change of subject. “We might be here a while.”

They approached the bar, and were immediately attended to by the bartender, who seemed surprisingly relaxed given the circumstances. “What can I get for you gentlemen?” he asked them.

Auron cast a critical eye over the shelves behind the bar, and was pleased to see that there was a range of spirits available. Spiran production was modest but varied, with different regions making do with their own local produce as best they could; Luca was one of the only places where all their various beverages could be obtained with ease.

“What’s the strongest spirit you have for under ten gil?” he asked.

The bartender examined the shelves, and suggested, “Macalanian vodka?”

“One measure of that, then, please,” said Auron.

“And what about you, sir?” the man said to Jecht.

“Uh,” said Jecht, slightly surprised by Auron’s order, “I’m kinda off the drink, see –”

“Oh, that’s no problem,” said the barman; he gestured to another shelf. “We have coffee and a variety of teas – or there’s our range of fruit juices, if you’d prefer.”

“Ah!” Auron exclaimed suddenly, his voice taking on an oddly Braska-like tone as he scanned the same shelf himself. “Shoopuf milk – didn’t you say you wanted to try some, Jecht? Looks like they have a few bottles.”

Jecht met Auron’s eyes, his own narrowing as he tried to discern what Auron was up to. It had been after the incident at the Moonflow that he had said something about shoopuf milk, while hungover and probably still half-drunk; and later, he remembered, Auron had confronted him about it, apparently taking offence at his having mentioned the stuff without knowing anything about it. He supposed therefore that the present scheme was some kind of lesson in not saying things without having meticulously researched every statement he planned to make beforehand, which, in his opinion, was ridiculous: Auron was both a pedant and a hypocrite. With that settled, it was clear enough that the only option was to play his game, and win it.

“Yeah, sounds good,” he said, folding his arms as Auron made a poor attempt at disguising a smirk.

The bartender looked doubtful. “That one’s not very popular,” he said. “We keep it in for any Guado who pass through – it doesn’t really suit human tastes.”

Jecht shrugged. “So what,” he said, “let me try.”

Braska, who had calmed down enough to place his order, requested a chrysanthemum tea, and Auron handed over the thankfully small fee. “Have a seat,” said the barman, “and one of the girls will bring your drinks over.”

They did so, squeezing into a corner where there was a small round table, Braska flanked on either side by his guardians. The girls, it turned out, were all Al Bhed, although they wore clothes that conformed more with the Yevonite style. Despite that, Jecht still managed to recognise their race from their blonde hair and green eyes, a combination that he had learnt was uncommon among Yevonites. Pleased once again with his observational prowess, he mentioned it to Braska.

“Yes, indeed,” said Braska, grateful for the distraction. “I imagine they’re wearing those clothes to make sure people are at ease. This is a Yevonite bar, after all – they’ll hire Al Bhed, but ask them to be discreet. Quite unlike Rin’s establishments, of course.”

One of the Al Bhed waitresses in question brought their drinks to the table, and Auron leant towards Jecht, eager to prove his point about the shoopuf milk. “Well?” he demanded, nodding at the small bottle. “What’s it like?”

Jecht raised his eyebrows and gave the drink a slow sniff, delaying his response as long as he could so as to cause Auron maximum frustration. He couldn’t avoid grimacing a little at the smell: it wasn’t bad, exactly, but it was certainly unusual. There was a hint of lemon in there, he decided, but also something coppery, and to top it off, an unmistakable odour of root vegetable.

Noticing Jecht’s expression falter, Auron couldn’t help grinning again, curling his hands into fists in anticipation as he watched Jecht place the bottle against his lips with obvious reluctance. Jecht did his best to ignore Auron, and took a modest sip, bracing himself for something disgusting; but when the drink met his tongue, he found that the root vegetable aroma was much less pungent in the taste, and that generally, the milk was actually quite pleasant. It helped that he usually enjoyed slightly sour flavours.

“It’s good,” he said smugly.

“You’re lying,” said Auron. “I saw your face –”

“That was before I tasted it,” Jecht explained. “Wanna try some?” He pushed the bottle in Auron’s direction.

Auron frowned at him, picked up the drink with a great deal of suspicion, and raised it to his mouth; catching the scent of it, he almost put it straight back on the table again, but managed to steel himself enough to take a sip, wincing as it went down.

“You’re lying,” he said again, thrusting the bottle back in Jecht’s direction and quickly reaching for his own vodka to get rid of the taste. “That’s vile.”

Jecht chuckled. “I ain’t lyin’, Auron,” he said, and he picked the bottle up again and drank the rest of the milk in a few swift chugs before placing the empty receptacle back on the table in front of him. “See? I like it. Maybe it’s cos I ain’t from around here.”

Auron shook his head in irritation, about to make another retort, but he was cut off by a sound from Braska’s direction: one of those increasingly common laughs, he realised. Smiling, Braska placed his tea carefully on the table, shook his head, and said, “Really. You two.”

“Is something the matter, sir?” said Auron.

Braska laughed again. “Bless you, Auron,” he said, taking hold of his tea once again and returning his attention to it.

Auron watched him in disbelief; they had certainly come a long way, he thought, since the days when his disagreements with Jecht had been more likely to drive Braska to tears. Of course, their arguments tended to be lower stakes now, and to be defused more quickly, and that surely helped. To hear Braska laughing, though, was still something that didn’t quite seem real, especially when he had seemed much closer to despair only a few minutes earlier. Braska was quiet again now, but Auron couldn’t help watching him as he sipped his tea, staring into those blue eyes in search of whatever had brought him joy for the most fleeting of moments.

His chest felt as if it was burning; it was the vodka, he told himself. He tore his gaze away from Braska, and glanced across at Jecht instead; Jecht, who had been looking at Auron, quickly broke eye contact.

“How’s the tea, sir?” said Auron, trying to dispel the strange awkwardness that had arisen.

“Sweet,” Braska murmured.

They sat in silence for a while, with Braska trying not to fall asleep – the walking and magic casting he had done that day had tired him, as usual, and even though they hadn’t yet been on the road for as long as they normally were, sitting on the comfortable bench with his guardians’ warmth on either side was enough to make him quite drowsy. Knowing the journey wasn’t quite over, he did his best to stay awake, but suspected he was fighting a losing battle.

“We ought to have dinner here,” said Auron eventually. “Save us trying to find somewhere else – we might be in a hurry if the lockdown goes on much longer.”

“This place does food?” said Jecht. “Thought it was a bar, not some kinda café.” The vast array of non-alcoholic drinks on offer had indeed suggested something more like the latter, but he couldn’t help but be influenced by the fact that the atmosphere just felt more bar-like, with the low lighting and cushioned seats that, in Zanarkand at least, were more connotative of the sort of place one went to for the purpose of drinking.

“Bar, café, what’s the difference?” said Auron impatiently, before flagging down one of the Al Bhed waitresses. “Could we order some food, please? Whatever’s cheap. Yes, broth is fine – three of those, then.”

Not long later, she brought the food to the table: three steaming bowls of some sort of meat broth that Jecht looked at with substantial scepticism, having resolved many years ago that food was something one should never skimp on.

“Thank you, baby,” said Braska as he received his bowl.

Immediately, they all froze; Auron and Jecht met each other’s eyes, and then looked at Braska, whose own were beginning to widen as he realised what he had said.

The waitress looked apologetic. “If you’re interested in, um, other services,” she said, “I’m afraid we don’t offer those here, but there’s an establishment a few streets away with a lot of Al Bhed girls –”

Braska was too stunned to speak; Auron cut in instead. “No, that’s fine, thank you,” he said firmly, still keeping his eyes on Braska as if he thought the intensity of his gaze might be an antidote to embarrassment. “My lord summoner misspoke. You can leave us.”

“Would you like me to bring any seasoning?” she asked.

“What?” said Auron. “No. Thank you.”

Once the waitress had walked away, Braska buried his face in his hands. “I can’t believe I said that,” he moaned faintly. “Stupid …”

“It was a slip of the tongue, sir,” Auron reassured him. “You’re tired.”

“Pathetic,” Braska muttered. “As if I forgot she was gone –”

Auron opened his mouth to protest, but he was interrupted by the feeling of Braska slumping against him, leaning his head into his guardian’s shoulder while keeping both hands pressed to his own face. He reached behind Braska instead, steadying him from the other side and taking hold of him by the elbow; such physical contact might be more comforting than words, he reasoned.

“Uh,” said Jecht, who was feeling supremely uncomfortable, “I’m gonna go take a leak.” He stood up slowly, and then all but ran to the bathroom.

When he got back, he was dismayed to find that Braska was still leaning against Auron. Auron had started to eat his dinner, with some difficulty given that half his upper body was immobilised as a result of Braska’s position; Jecht sat down, unable to think of an excuse to leave for a second time, and began work on his own broth.

“What do you think, Jecht?” Auron asked after a minute or so.

“Huh?” said Jecht.

“The food,” said Auron. “It’s a Bevelle dish, actually. Local meat from animals reared in the nearby fields. They say the priests didn’t want to interrupt their prayers to make dinner, so they just threw everything into a pot and left it on the boil for a couple of hours.”

He was rambling, and Jecht could tell: he knew Auron got that way sometimes, especially when he was unsure of how else to get out of a difficult situation. He was tempted to ignore it, but decided talking might distract him from the state Braska was in.

“Not much of a dish,” he said, fishing one of the chunks of meat out of his bowl to make his point.

“Well,” said Auron, “Bevelle isn’t known for its cuisine.”

Jecht scowled and lifted the meat to his mouth reluctantly; he’d already decided that this meal was one of the worst things he’d ever tasted, and Auron’s explanation of its origins had hardly helped with that. After chewing the piece of meat for what felt like several minutes and eventually breaking it down into chunks that were small enough to swallow, he sighed heavily and said, “Oh man.”

“Something wrong?” said Auron.

“I dunno how you’re meant to eat this stuff,” Jecht complained. “You gotta chew it for hours – and then even after that, it still tastes like a dog’s ass.”

Auron let out a little snort of amusement; and then, after a few seconds, Braska reacted too, with a brief laugh that soon turned into something more like a sob. But nonetheless, that had somehow been enough to rescue him from his misery; gradually, he lowered his hands from his face, straightened up, and picked up his spoon from the table.

Watching closely, Auron almost couldn’t believe it. His plan had succeeded. He had decided, while Jecht was in the bathroom, to try talking to his fellow guardian until he inevitably said something ridiculous, without much hope that it would achieve anything – but somehow, it had been enough to pull Braska out of the depths. It was just one tiny incident, he told himself, but nevertheless that spark of hope was beginning to flicker within him again. Maybe there would be more, he thought. Maybe he would be able to find a way of harnessing Jecht’s irritating irreverence and shaping it into something that could convince Braska life was worth living.

He let himself watch Braska as the latter ate, observing the movements of his jaw as he chewed – and now, for the first time, Auron wished he had ordered something more appetising. He watched as Braska slowly manœuvred the spoon around his bowl; as he blinked, pale eyelids drawing themselves briefly over weary blue eyes.

“Excuse me,” said Braska after a while, still not meeting Auron’s eyes as he stood and shuffled past him, heading to the bathroom.

Once he was out of sight, Jecht turned to Auron and said loudly, “Hey! I’m here too, you know!”

Auron scowled at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he hissed.

“Your food’s gettin’ cold,” said Jecht, pointing at it.

Frowning at the non-sequitur, Auron looked down at his bowl, and realised with some surprise that he hadn’t eaten anything since Braska had started on his own meal; he’d been doing nothing but staring at him for several minutes, letting that burning feeling grow inside his chest again, providing himself with a very different kind of nourishment. Without another word, he turned back to the broth, lowering his face as he felt it heat up, and hoping Jecht wouldn’t notice.

In the bathroom, Braska was washing his hands; he rubbed the little bar of soap against them carefully, massaging it into his fingers. It was so unfair, he reflected, that Auron and Jecht had been able to distract him from his grief with such ease. He didn’t deserve to be laughing at trivial things; of that he was certain. He had embarrassed himself and insulted Girl’s memory, and it was a reminder of how he was fit for nothing but his own death now, having taken Girl from her family and lost the support of his own; having waved her off at the docks, not knowing he was sending her to her grave, and then being so destroyed, so weak after what had happened that he had lost Yuna too. He had called himself pathetic a few moments earlier, and it was true, he thought, barely daring to look at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His whole adult life had been a series of mistakes and misfortunes; at least the pilgrimage would give him the chance to repay some of his immeasurable debt. And so there was nothing to do but go on, and hope he could be strong, as the fayth required, and continue the journey taking comfort from the fact that each step brought him closer to the end.

Belatedly noticing the tears trickling across his face, he gave it a brief wash and stood there for a moment, trying to compose himself a little before he went back outside. While he was still sure that laughing along with his guardians was inappropriate for one who was so undeserving of happiness, at least those moments helped him maintain the strength he so desperately needed. They would need to make it to the ship soon, and he would have to petition the fayth of Kilika the next day; it was important not to lose momentum, or the results could be catastrophic. So he placed the soap quietly back in its dish, and dried his hands and face, and walked out of the bathroom and back over to the table, placing his hand on Auron’s back to anchor himself as he slipped back into his seat.

“Are you –” Auron began, but his voice was strangely hoarse; he cleared his throat and tried again. “Are you OK, my lord?”

“No,” said Braska, “not really. I feel –” He sniffed. “Pretty awful, actually. I’m sorry.”

“Can I get you anything?” Auron suggested.

“I’ll be all right,” Braska murmured.

“Guys!” said Jecht suddenly.

Auron reluctantly turned his attention towards him, and snapped, “What? What is it now?”

“Alarm’s stopped,” said Jecht, gesturing towards the nearest window. Indeed, the other two had both been too preoccupied to notice, but now that Jecht had pointed it out, the silence made it obvious that the lockdown was over.

“Oh,” said Auron. “We should –” He looked back at Braska. “Maybe it’s not a good idea to travel tonight after all. There are probably plenty of hostels around here –”

“No, we need to keep going,” said Braska. “Go and settle up, Auron; I’m sure it’s not long until the ferry leaves.”

Auron grimaced, but he did as he was told and halfheartedly negotiated a modest discount on the three bowls of broth with the barman. Jecht and Braska joined him at the door, the latter trying to ignore the fact that he felt achy and exhausted. It wouldn’t take long to get to the docks, at least; while the thought didn’t exactly raise his spirits, it somehow helped him stay on his feet.

The ferry was already boarding when they arrived; Auron was relieved that they had made it in good time and would have no trouble securing a cabin. As they joined the queue, he fiddled nervously with the end of his ponytail; he was still on edge. At first, he thought his discomfort was related to Braska’s setback at the bar – but then, he caught a whiff of the salty sea air, and realised there was something else involved.

He looked up into the sky, blocking out the sight of the boats as they slowly rose and fell with the waves. That was the problem: water. It had been going on long enough now for it to be something he could no longer deny. Since the incident in Bevelle, any encounter he had had with bodies of water like this had distressed him. At Macalania, the sight of the frozen lake had almost made him keel over; then, arriving at the Moonflow, he had found himself barely able to breathe. Only the emergency of Jecht’s attack on the shoopuf had distracted him enough to let him snap out of it on that occasion.

He squeezed his eyes shut. They would be spending the night on the sea, he reminded himself; deep in the hull of the boat in some windowless cabin, with the only reminder of their location being the movements the ship would make. He had travelled by sea enough times to know how it would work, although this would be the first such journey since the ordeal. It would be all right, he told himself; he would be shielded from it while he was in the cabin. The only parts of the journey that he had any need to worry about at all were the moments of embarkation and disembarkation. And if much of the town of Kilika was built on wooden boards that formed only the flimsiest pathway over the water, and the ferry they would take on to Besaid would take a full day to cross the strait, meaning he would be expected to walk about on the deck of the ship during daylight hours – he would worry about those things later.

With his eyes still closed, he focused on his breathing, trying to block out his surroundings. It was a while since he had engaged properly in meditation, and he knew it would be more difficult than it had once been to calm his mind. But, fighting off myriad distractions, he kept his eyes shut and concentrated on the sensation of breathing in, and then out, and on the way his body reshaped itself with each breath, moulding itself around the new air that flowed through him every few seconds.

After a while, he became aware of a gentle tugging at his arm, and the sound of his name murmured against his ear; he opened his eyes to find Braska beside him.

“It’s our turn,” said Braska softly, gesturing towards the ramp that led onto the ship. “Lost in thought?”

“Yeah,” Auron muttered, before leading the way onto the boat, bounding across the ramp as quickly as he could to ensure he wasn’t directly above the water for any longer than strictly necessary. “Good evening,” he said to the sailor who stood there, trying to fight back against the sensation of his breathing becoming rapid and shallow. “We’d like passage, please – three of us. One cabin is fine.”

“One with a porthole?” said the sailor. “It’ll cost extra.”

Auron shook his head. “No, no. Whatever’s cheap, please.”

“Ah,” said the sailor knowingly. “On a budget? I can put you in a two-berth cabin if one of you doesn’t mind sleeping in a hammock. That’ll save you some gil.”

“Yes, thank you, fine,” said Auron breathlessly.

They arranged a price – much like when he had paid for their dinner, Auron didn’t really have it in him to argue for a substantial discount – and he took out the increasingly light gil purse to retrieve the money. Having fished out the cash, he attempted to hand it over, but his hands were beginning to tremble, and several of the coins slipped out of his grasp and dropped onto the deck, rolling noisily around on the wooden boards.

“No sea legs, huh?” Jecht remarked derisively as Auron and the sailor bent down to pick up the coins. Auron ignored him; he retrieved those that the sailor hadn’t, and handed them over to him hastily before straightening up. “Which cabin?” he demanded.

“Down the stairs, first on the right,” the sailor informed him. “Number four.”

Auron murmured his thanks, and headed inside as quickly as he could without checking that the other two were following. Once he had located and entered the cabin, he sat down on the lower of the two bunks, trying to catch his breath. As he had anticipated, the ship was rolling in the water slightly, but that was manageable. He was grateful for the lack of porthole: that almost made it possible to forget where he was.

Braska and Jecht joined him shortly afterwards, the latter carrying a large canvas hammock that the sailor had retrieved for them after Auron made the payment. “What the hell,” he said, looking down at Auron where he sat on the bed. “Ran down here so you could grab a bed first, huh? After you told the guy this thing would be OK? Why didn’t you just pay for a cabin that’d actually fit three of us?”

“No,” said Auron, who was starting to feel enough like his usual self to argue, “this bed’s for Braska. I’ll take the hammock, that’s no problem.” He straightened up, intending to stand, but the top of his head made contact with the upper bunk with a loud crack, and he immediately recoiled, pressing his hand against the affected area with a cry of pain.

Braska found the energy to hurry forward, sitting down next to Auron to heal him; after a few seconds had passed, Auron felt as if the injury had never happened. “Thanks,” he muttered.

“You’re not usually uncoordinated,” said Braska. “Dropping all that money, and now –”

“Sea legs!” said Jecht again, triumphantly. “Not used to it, are ya, Auron? Always takes a while if you ain’t been on boats much.”

Braska knew Auron was well accustomed to sea travel from his years in the warrior monk corps; had he been feeling better, he might have realised the explanation didn’t add up, but no such thought crossed his mind.

“Yeah,” said Auron, “probably.” He attempted to stand up again, more carefully, and was relieved to find he succeeded without incident. “Let’s get that hung up, then,” he added, gesturing at the hammock.

Braska took a brief and rather low-spirited sphere for Yuna while his guardians wrestled with the hammock, eventually managing to get it strung up next to the beds. There wasn’t much room available in the cabin even without it; once it was in place, there was no space to stand in front of the bunks at all. With few opportunities left to do anything else, there was nothing for it except to follow Braska’s lead and fall asleep, aided by the motion of the waves rocking the ship and its passengers from side to side in a gentle, eternal rhythm.