This has been ... (checks notes ... if the kids even say that anymore idk) several months if not years in the making, but I've finally got around to finishing my extremely high-effort attempt at devising Pokémon teams for my three boyos, or four if you count Auron twice. I read through all the Pokédex entries for fully evolved non-legendaries* on Bulbapedia, noted down those that seemed to resonate in some way with my conception of the lads, and then used the Favorite [sic] Pokémon Picker to rank them in order of most appropriate, which gave me a main team of six for each of the four, plus a few substitutes to result in game-viable teams where possible. Then I slapped the main teams onto trainer cards from Pokécharms, attempting to choose the most appropriate-looking trainer to illustrate each one. This was based purely on appearance; I actually know nothing about most of these NPCs. Although by the look of it I should look up Norman immediately because I've never seen a more auronesque guy.
*In young Auron's team there's one exception to this, but I couldn't not because Galarian Farfetch'd is 100% my boy in Pokémon form, trust me on this.
Obstagoon "has a tendency to take on a threatening posture and shout", and has been in "numerous fights".
Gallade is more refined, as Auron can be when he's in control of his temper. It's "a master of courtesy and swordsmanship" with an "honourable-warrior image".
Midnight Lycanroc "has no problem ignoring orders it doesn't like". "They will only listen to orders from Trainers who can draw out their true power." "It charges headlong at its opponents, attacking without any care about what injuries it might receive."
Kingambit "commands a massive army" but "it's not skilled at devising complex strategies. It just uses brute strength to keep pushing."
Like Lycanroc, Staraptor "never stops attacking even if it is injured". "It has left the flock" (of the warrior monks of Yevon I guess?). Also, "it fusses over the shape of its comb".
Everything about the way Galarian Farfetch'd moves and holds itself is incredibly auron-coded. "The Farfetch'd of the Galar region are brave warriors, and they wield thick, tough leeks in battle." "In battle, it bets everything on a single destructive blow" – bets and loses I guess ... (cries)
Game teams
- Only Gallade and Staraptor are in Brilliant Diamond/Shining Pearl, so we can make up a team of five by adding Swellow ("never misses its targets"; "conscientious about the upkeep of its glossy wings"), Crawdaunt ("loves to battle"), and Dodrio ("may think too much and become immobilized").
- Kingambit and Staraptor are missing from Sword/Shield, so we can substitute in Perrserker ("lives for the thrill of battle"; "boasts unrivaled strength") and Oranguru ("skillfully gives instructions to other Pokémon").
- Obstagoon and Farfetch'd are missing from Scarlet/Violet, so we'll replace them with Armarouge ("incredibly loyal") and Autumn Sawsbuck ("known for having very short tempers").
- In Legends Z-A, we can't use Obstagoon, Lycanroc, or Kingambit, so we'll bring in Armarouge and Perrserker again, along with Aegislash ("can cleave any opponent"; "whoever it recognizes is destined to rule").
- There simply aren't enough for a Legends: Arceus team, alas.
Samurott, "hard of heart and deft of blade", seems to be a strong start for the older Auron. "One swing of the sword incorporated in its armor can fell an opponent. A simple glare from one of them quiets everybody." That's how it's done.
Bloodmoon Ursaluna "crossed the sea and drifted ashore in a new land. Surviving in this place led it to take on a unique appearance". It can also "see in the dark with its left eye", which doesn't seem to be an unreasonable parallel to Auron's, um, uneven visual acuity.
Basculegion "clads itself in the souls of comrades that perished before fulfilling their goals". "It can jump [aka Dragon Fang] with incredible power. Parts of its body are tinged red." "No other species throughout all Hisui's rivers is Basculegion's equal."
"For the sake of its friends," Braviary "will not stop battling, even if injured". "With its brave disposition, it fears nothing – not even death." "The more scars it has on its front, the more heroic it's considered to be."
I'm literally copying and pasting the entirety of every one of Ceruledge's Pokédex entries. "The fiery blades on its arms burn fiercely with the lingering resentment of a sword wielder who fell before accomplishing their goal." "An old set of armor steeped in grudges caused this Pokémon's evolution. Ceruledge cuts its enemies to pieces without mercy." "It swears loyalty to its Trainer. Should anyone dare to show that Trainer hostility, Ceruledge will cut the offender down without a second thought."
Looks like he got to keep one of his original Pokémon. Sir Auron, I mean Sirfetch'd, "wields the leek splendidly, performing great feats of combat". "When this Pokémon's leek withers, it will retire."
Game teams
- Sw+Sh have only Braviary and Sirfetch'd from the above list, so to make a team of five we'll add Hippowdon ("whips up a sandstorm"), Clefable ("they don't like to reveal themselves"; "gazes intently at the sky on nights with a full moon because it's homesick"), and Dusk Lycanroc ("an intense fighting spirit underlies its calmness").
- S+V don't have Sirfetch'd so we can substitute in Hippowdon again.
- L:Z-A has only Sirfetch'd and Ceruledge, so we'll add Hippowdon, Clefable, Crabominable ("aimed for the top but got lost and ended up on a snowy mountain"), and Swampert ("bashes down foes with a single swing of its thick arms").
- Neither BDSP nor L:A has enough for a team this time.
Like Braska, once envoy to the Al Bhed, Togekiss "visits peaceful regions, bringing them gifts of kindness and sweet blessings". It's "known as a bringer of blessings" and "will reveal itself when peace reigns in the land".
Kangaskhan "will brave death to protect its offspring".
Honchkrow "is called 'Summoner of Night'". "Its goons take care of most of the fighting for it."
Oricorio Baile "beats its wings together to create fire. As it moves in the steps of its beautiful dance, it bathes opponents in intense flames". It's "incredibly popular" – as I guess Braska is ... eventually.
Similarly, Alolan Marowak "sets the bone it holds on fire and dances through the night as a way to mourn its fallen allies".
And, on the same theme again, Hisuian Typhlosion is "said to purify lost, forsaken souls with its flames and guide them to the afterlife".
Game teams
- BDSP have only Togekiss, Kangaskhan, and Honchkrow, so we can add Persian ("elegant and refined behavior"; "fickle meanness"), Medicham ("elegantly avoids attacks with dance-like steps"; "hones its spiritual power"; "is known to meditate for a whole month without eating" lmao), and Nidoqueen ("will protect the young in its burrow with its life").
- Sw+Sh lack Oricorio and Typhlosion so we'll replace them with Persian and Drampa ("a kind and friendly Pokémon – up until it's angered").
- S+V have only Oricorio from the original list, so we'll add Persian, Medicham, Oricorio Sensu ("uses ethereal dance steps to call forth the spirits of the dead"), Chandelure ("being consumed in Chandelure's flame burns up the spirit"), and Arcanine ("conveys a sense of majesty"; "it appears in many legends").
- L:A has only Togekiss, Honchkrow, and Typhlosion, so we can add Hisuian Arcanine ("cloaked in blazing flame ... all but dances around" its opponents) and Infernape ("shrouds itself in flame and battles as if engaged in dance") for a team of five.
- L:Z-A has only Kangaskhan and Marowak, so for this one we can add Persian, Medicham, Drampa, and Chandelure.
Gyarados is more relevant to Jecht's final form: it "has enough destructive power to totally annihilate even a major city". "Once it appears, it goes on a rampage. It remains enraged until it demolishes everything around it." It has an "instinctive drive to destroy everything within its reach".
Poliwrath is "quite a gifted swimmer", "but it normally spends its time on land". "The muscles it has developed through swimming are thick and powerful."
Emboar "has mastered fast and powerful fighting moves". "The direr the situation, the more it seems to enjoy itself." "It cares deeply about its friends." (cries again)
"Although it's rough mannered and egotistical," Incineroar "finds beating down unworthy opponents boring [sorry Tidus??]. It gets motivated for stronger opponents." "Incineroar's rough and aggressive behavior is its most notable trait, but the way it helps out small Pokémon shows that it has a kind side as well." "It excels at violent, no-holds-barred battles."
Cinderace "juggles a pebble with its feet, turning it into a burning soccer ball". "It's skilled at both offense and defense, and it gets pumped up when cheered on. But if it starts showboating, it could put itself in a tough spot."
And the perhaps surprise winner of the most Jechtian Pokémon award is Hawlucha. "It drives its opponents to exhaustion with its agile maneuvers, then ends the fight with a flashy finishing move." "It overwhelms opponents with quick moves, but sometimes it showboats for too long when it's using a special move and gets itself into a pinch." "It always strikes a pose before going for its finishing move. Sometimes opponents take advantage of that time to counterattack."
Game teams
- BDSP have only Gyarados and Poliwrath, so we can add Rapidash ("very competitive"), Sharpedo ("known as the Bully of the Sea"), Gardevoir ("will dedicate itself to defending a master it has come to adore" oh it's crying time again!!), and Skarmory ("draped in steel armor").
- Sw+Sh are missing Emboar, so we'll swap in Rapidash.
- S+V have all six of the main team, nice!
- L:A on the other hand has only Gyarados, but we can add Rapidash, Gardevoir, Drapion ("rampages around and wreaks havoc"; "its poison [Sin's toxin] is potent"), Ninetales ("said to live a thousand years"), and Mantine ("majestically swims"; "its whole body is very coarse").
- L:Z-A has Gyarados, Emboar, and Hawlucha, and to those we can add Alolan Persian ("looks down on everyone other than itself"), Sharpedo, and Gardevoir.
