Man Up (chapter 8 of 49, 7184 words)
An unanticipated rest day forces Auron and Jecht to spend more time in each other’s company. Jecht goes for a swim, and Auron and Braska have a conversation that quickly turns sour.
Read here on praze.net or here on archiveofourown.org, or read the whole fic so far as a PDF or an EPUB.
Jecht and Auron are gradually learning to get on with each other; by this point, they quite willingly go and have breakfast together, and even have a mostly civil conversation while doing so. Their relationship also seems to have become quite physical? They’re pushing each other out of the way, grabbing each other to get attention … just bros being bros, Or Is It. If you asked them whether they actually liked each other at this point, Auron would probably respond with an immediate no, and Jecht would offer a much less convincing “what? Auron? You’re kidding, right?”
The idea that the number of summoners has gone up and that’s what’s supposedly motivated this new law happens to match up with what I suggested previously about the rate of pilgrimages increasing. Kinoc is clearly up to something, but Auron still genuinely believes he’s a good friend. This fic doesn’t really have a villain as such (other than the tragic mistakes humans are doomed to commit or whatever), but Kinoc is probably the closest we get.
I have an incredibly strong mental image of Auron grabbing several tiny pots of jam and arranging them in a row in front of Braska as if the faster he does it, the less likely Braska is to break down.
If Jecht were to do anything that could delay their progress – as indeed he risked the day before, with his lightning dodging shenanigans – Auron would not be having it. If Braska was the cause of the delay, on the other hand, Auron would quite happily pause the pilgrimage for months. Braska and Auron both have a serious case of double standards concerning each other, although in Auron’s case it’s “Braska can walk all over me and it’s fine”, while in Braska’s case it’s, er, “I can walk all over Auron and that’s fine”.
Not much of Jecht is based on myself, but one thing I did take inspiration from my own personality for was his aversion to acknowledging illness and weakness. Despite loving fic about men having a terrible time and suffering physical and mental injury, the moment there is an irl instance of someone being ill or hurt (myself included) I just don’t want to know about it. In Jecht’s case this is mostly restricted to men and a result of Zanarkand’s culture of toxic masculinity; in my case it’s clearly not that, and I definitely don’t think people with severe mental health issues need to just get over themselves, but Jecht’s instinctive ick when he sees someone in a bad way is pretty much based on my own feelings. I guess the other thing we have in common is that I secretly worry about whether people like me, but a. surely everyone does this and b. I don’t cover it up by talking about how great I am all the time, unlike the star player of the Zanarkand Abes.
In the game, Auron tells us that Jecht used to say “it’s the right thing to do” a lot. This is his first instance of saying it in the fic; this sequence shows us that he does actually care about the pilgrimage, at least a little bit.
I never considered going down the route of “Auron was probably physically disciplined quite a bit as a child and that’s why he’s Like This”, but actually, the reference to him casually socking his subordinates between the eyes as soon as they say a mean thing about Braska is making me realise that probably would have happened to him. Later in the fic, Jecht expresses horror at the idea that Auron was a “child soldier”, and while Auron denies the relevance of that particular term, he can’t exactly have had the kindest upbringing. On the other hand, to bring this back into the trashbag zone, the idea of Auron physically losing it when people insult Braska (and indeed the idea of Braska going nuts as soon as someone is nasty to Auron) is so compelling to me. They’re so intense about each other mmmmm.
Clearly, nobody in Spira has ever heard the phrase “man up”. They may have manifold problems but toxic masculinity à la Jecht’s Zanarkand isn’t one of them.
Braska was basically my current age when his wife died, which just makes it even more sad to think about as far as I’m concerned. I’m still just a tiny baby, or was last time I checked anyway.
“Well, this isn’t Zanarkand, this is the real world,” said Auron.
This is a much more appropriate thing to say than Auron realises!
We’ll meet the young men in rubbery yellow trousers later.
I love how Maechen just appears randomly all over the place and seems to have no trouble flitting from one part of Spira to another. Maybe this is a side effect of his (cough) condition, although I’m not aware of other similarly- (cough) conditioned people being able to do this. Writing his extremely verbose dialogue is a lot of fun.
“He said history, not geography, you idiot,” Auron muttered.
Shoutout to my dad, whose academic field is “historical geography”.
From this meeting, Maechen gets the impression that Auron and especially Jecht are very intellectual, which is a hilarious misunderstanding. Both are certainly very competent and intelligent, but Braska’s much closer to being academically minded in a traditional sense. But Maechen is now certain they are both Scholars, a misconception that will have its uses for Auron later on.
I’m not actually sure why Maechen even comes into the travel agency, to be honest … he just walks in, has a chat with the lads, and then leaves again. Maybe he wanted to get out of the rain for a moment. It does seem very in keeping with his general demeanour though.
Auron doesn’t remember Bilghen’s name because this travel agency is currently operated by Yevonites, who don’t particularly care about commemorating the Al Bhed. Once Rin takes over the establishment, he’s going to do his very best to put up lots of signs reminding everyone of the munificence of great Lord Bilghen, which is why ten years later it’s become the Bilghen Memorial Travel Agency.
Jecht appears to have been given a Peaceful Bangle for his solo excursion, which is indeed the kind of thing he would qualify as “girly”. He doesn’t seem that bothered by having to wear it, though!
He hadn’t had a single chance to go for a swim since arriving in Spira, and that had been over a week ago.
I had a bit of a crisis at one point about whether I should use mundane seven-day weeks and thirty-ish-day months, and then I remembered that one bit in The fellowship of the ring where Gandalf says, "It is the morning of October the twenty-fourth, if you want to know.“ I did however give Spira two moons, based on the map shown here, where there are two crescent moons nested inside each other. This doesn’t seem to have any effect on the calendar.
I think most of the rest of this chapter speaks for itself; I’m less inclined to provide in-depth commentary on the sad and serious parts of this fic, for some reason …! But I think it would be typical of Auron, at this stage of his existence, to a. sometimes get really angry in a very short space of time and b. use combat as a way of calming himself down.
“I’m not the one who wants to –” Auron began, and then stopped abruptly.
Jecht doesn’t really understand this – he hasn’t yet realised that Braska does want to. But quite soon, he’ll learn how successful pilgrimages end.
When Auron and Jecht return to the travel agency, Braska is forcing himself to have some dinner, which is probably a sign that he’s ready to make up with Auron; he doesn’t normally eat much unless Auron tells him to. But Auron doesn’t tend to forgive as quickly. My typology of emotional progression is as follows: Auron is quick to anger and slow to calm down, Jecht is also quick to anger but quick to calm down, Braska is naturally slow to anger and calms down at an average speed, with variation caused by his fluctuating mental state.
When Auron gives Braska his big Miserable Look, what exactly is Braska thinking? “Oh yeah, this guy, my platonic friend who’s definitely not in love with me, definitely doesn’t mind that I’ve chosen to take the summoner’s pilgrimage and everything that entails oh no”?? I suppose “Braska knew perfectly well what was going on” is true from his perspective – he thinks he knows what the problem is, and it’s just that Auron loves to sulk when he’s not getting his way, but in reality he hasn’t quite grasped why Auron is having such a sad time looking at him.