Unworthy (chapter 20 of 49, 10764 words)
Braska enters Besaid Temple to petition for its aeon. After a traumatic encounter with the fayth, he finds himself relying on Auron for support.
Read here on praze.net or here on archiveofourown.org, or read the whole fic so far as a PDF or an EPUB.
I feel like I should apologise to Braska for this chapter.
I’m not sure what Braska does to prepare his spirit before visiting the fayth – I guess he just thinks about how determined to defeat Sin he is or something.
Not many summoners make it to Besaid, partly because not all of them need to go there anyway (as I’ve gone with the idea that a summoner’s lineage means certain temples are better suited to them – fortunately for Braska, there will be no encounters with Perula here), partly because it’s further from Bevelle and therefore one of the later intended destinations for most summoners, so a lot have been turned away by this point.
As the narration explains, Braska hasn’t been summoning his aeons because it takes quite a lot of effort and he’s had too much going on to really concentrate on paying them attention. What it doesn’t say is that he also hasn’t been summoning them because whenever I play FFX I tend to reserve them for boss battles, as I can’t be bothered to go through the whole rigmarole of calling aeons most of the time.
Now that Braska has spoken to all five of the, er, non-optional pre-Zanarkand fayth, here are the main things they look for in a summoner in this universe:
Braska likes warm environments while Auron likes cold ones (yet another tragic element of their doomed relationship I guess); Jecht copes fine with both because he’s indestructible.
Braska is obviously not in a good way here; the extent to which that excuses his attempt to get Auron to enter the fayth’s chamber is debatable. As the narration points out, Braska has no reason to believe Auron is any less committed to Yevon than ever, so it’s characteristically selfish of him to want Auron to come and comfort him when it’s against the teachings. The fact that Braska is so desperate for Auron in particular to come and hold him also maybe indicates something about how he feels about his guardian … I’m not sure this is really part of “just friends” territory, as much as both of them might insist it is.
Given that Bahamut has a presence within Braska and Valefor doesn’t, Bahamut’s fayth is party to the memories Braska exchanged with Ixion’s fayth, which include a lot of material relating to his guardians given the nature of that fayth’s interest. Bahamut’s fayth has therefore realised that one (ahem) of Braska’s guardians is unusual and that Braska must be encouraged to complete the pilgrimage. The only way of getting this across to Valefor’s fayth, who hasn’t consented to forming a connection with Braska yet, is to have the aeon associated with the fayth who received the memories to convey it to her – hence the need to summon Ixion in particular, despite Braska’s unfamiliarity with it.
Big side-eye that Braska now considers the emotions provoked by his wife’s death equivalent to how he might feel if Auron were to die, huh.
It’s not hugely plot-relevant that the fayth apologises at the end of the memory exchange; it’s just a way of showing that despite how reluctant she is to grant him her aeon, she still has sympathy for him.
As I’ve mentioned before, the evolution in who supports Braska when he emerges is indicative of the changing positions of his guardians: initially Jecht didn’t care much for the pilgrimage and was often more of a hindrance than a help, and Auron had to do it alone. By this point Jecht is reasonably responsible and Auron is starting to struggle a bit, so Jecht’s the one who steps up.
That doesn’t stop Braska insisting he needs Auron in particular though … for some reason.
If Auron’s attempt at keeping his voice steady is anything like when he tried to do the same on arrival at the village, it’s entirely unsuccessful, but either way Braska isn’t in a state to notice.
Besaid is the only temple where the locals seem to be interested in the fact that Yuna successfully gains the aeon; I suppose that’s partly because the temple is in the village so there are people nearby, and obviously because they have a personal investment in her that people in other parts of Spira don’t. But I think they could be equally excited when other summoners manage it: as previously discussed, I think it’s much rarer here than in other regions, and they’re pretty wedded to the teachings so this is the sort of thing they should be celebrating.
While Valefor is Yuna’s first aeon and therefore her weakest and friendliest, it’s now Braska’s strongest and scariest; Bahamut is the opposite.
I decided synod would be an appropriate term for the governing council of Besaid, given how religious they all are. The FFX-2.5 novel implies that “elders” might be a thing there (based on the French version), but going by the way the term is used, I think it’s just intended as “old people” rather than any kind of authoritative position.
I originally had Braska harm himself in a non-magical way, but using magic seemed fitting.
The question of how Auron attaches his sword to his robe or cuirass or wherever is one of the biggest mysteries of FFX, I guess …
The fact that Auron is in no doubt about how Braska’s hands have received the lightning burns suggests that Braska has done this to himself before.
Nothing to see here, just Auron bridal-carrying Braska through the village.
Auron definitely doesn’t believe that “he’ll be fine”, but he doesn’t see the point in making the Crusader aware of that.
The bandaging one’s love interest trope is something I’m very into in fanfiction, but sadly the nature of healing in Spira means I can’t use it much here. It’s fortunate for me that Auron has decided to do it for preventative purposes, even if he might be going a bit too far.
I originally had Auron explaining in a bit more detail about how Bevelle is actually quite reliant on machina, but then I decided it wouldn’t make much sense for him to be talking at length when his priority is looking after Braska.
Auron naturally uses singular they if he doesn’t know someone’s gender; my headcanon is that Bahamut’s fayth is Spira’s only non-binary person, although Auron definitely wouldn’t know what that means.
They both, in fact, had a fairly good idea of what it could mean:
Or, perhaps, a fairly bad one. 👀
Auron is right that Braska will have some time in Luca to practise with the aeons, although he’ll have more time on Besaid; he doesn’t suggest using this because he knows Braska probably won’t be able to face it immediately.
Braska hesitated, slightly surprised by Auron’s fervour.
He can never quite believe that Auron cares about him, despite the copious evidence.
Auron is still pretty wary about initiating physical contact with Braska, believing that his feelings make it much more improper than when Braska does the same with him. Meanwhile, he manhandles Jecht all the time, but that’s just bros being bros, right?
Braska’s like “yeah it’s perfectly normal and fine to kiss my best friend on the forehead!” Meanwhile Auron’s brain is short-circuiting.